Inside Pulse TNA Impact! Report: Jeff Hardy/RVD Team Up, Hulk Hogan, Mick Foley Retired

TNA Impact is LIVE just one night after TNA Destination X 2010

Show starts with Eric Bischoff, unshaven in a TNA baseball cap, playing some weird song on a guitar with a spotlight on him. It’s gonna be a long night folks, let’s get it ON. The song goes on for 1-2 mins. Stops. Finally. Crowd boos. I agree. Bischoff cuts a promo about being a guitarist, segueing that into something about Jeff Jarrett. Bischoff is such a slapnutz. He calls down Jarrett and asks if he can prove the guitar isn’t just a prop. JJ comes out. Crowd cheers-ish. JJ comes into the ring, but doesn’t talk for a while and Bischoff talks and talks. This is apparently an argument between two middle aged dads about who can play the guitar better. Bischoff dares Jarrett to knock him out. Jarrett grabs the guitar! Bischoff cowers. Time freezes. Eventually Jarrett puts the guitar down, the crowd boos. Bischoff goads him as he walks away. Jarrett comes back in and guitars Bischoff over the head. Crowd chants TNA. This is the legit segment they chose to start the show with.

Backstage Mick Foley claps and welcomes Jarrett to the back. Bischoff sells death in the ring. We’ll be back for more of this after the break.

Commercial Break

Bischoff is back up and thankfully he’s screaming. He makes a Fedex joke about firing Jarrett or Foley. This is really horrendous. He makes a Foley vs. Jarrett match for tonight where the loser is fired and the winner is “his bitch”. Not sure how that sells the match.

Backstage Foley and Jarrett argue about who’s fault it is that this match is on.

The Beautiful People (Lacey Von Erich, Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky) & Daffney vs. Tara, Taylor Wylde, Anglina Love, Sarita
Daffney has the spider and the BP are afraid of it. Pretty funny actually. Tara comes down alone, she gets beaten down four on one, the other three run down and we take a break.

Commercial Break

Back live right into a pin attempt by Angelina on Madison. Faces control. Lot of quick tags on both sides to get all the girls into the match. Nice slingshot legdrop by Tara on Madison. Daffney hits Tara from the apron, match breaks down a bit. Madison covers Tara for 2. Daffney tags in, taunts Tara with the spider in the lantern-case, but that makes Tara upset. Heels beat her down. Tenay plugs UFC. Many of the girls move to the floor. Angelina takes down Daffney in the ring, she rolls out. Velvet comes in from behind and hits a DDT. Oh i see, all the girls are coming in to do moves one at a time. After a few more, Tara hits the Widow’s Peak on Lacey, but goes for the spider. Daffney hits the “lobotomy neckbreaker” for the pin.
Winners: Daffney and the Beautiful People

AJ arrives with a sling and a single crutch. He is hurtin’. Flair still in a wheelchair.

Next: Hogan has a major announcement about the April PPV!

Commercial Break

Recap of TNA Destination X. It was dreadful

Hulk Hogan comes out with Abyss. He cuts a promo. He makes Abyss captain of “Team Hogan” to take on a “Team Flair” at Lockdown. It’s going to be “only business”. Abyss takes the mic. He cuts a promo on AJ. He didn’t with the title, but he won respect! At Lockdown, he’ll take care of business for Hogan. At Lethal Lockdown – he’s coming to getchu! He vows to murder AJ in so many words. Whoops he’s going direct- Whatcha gonna do when Abyssamania runs fatal on you! Tenay immediately talks about how there isn’t a Thursday replay. Flair comes out. Flair and AJ scream a bunch. Flair is at around a 7 on the red-o-meter. The team captain of Team Flair is… STTTIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG. Impact Zone goes black. Sting music plays. Lights back on, Hogan cuffed to the corner, AJ beats down Abyss and Sting looks on in the corner. Crowd chants RVD. Out comes the Pope. He goes right after AJ. he and Abyss double team AJ. The Pope has the key to the cuffs somehow and unlocks Hogan. Pope, Hogan and Abyss celebrate. Hooray for them! Flair wheels out, but Hogan limps after him and finally catches him. Hogan rolls the wheelchair towards the ring and Abyss clotheslines him out of the chair. Play the Hogan “red white and blue” song! TNA! Not sure where Sting went here.

Commercial Break

Jeff Hardy, Shannon Moore and RVD arrive. Christy Hemme asks them if they have any idea what they are doing tonight. They don’t really know. They all laugh and laugh.

TNA Global Title
Tomko vs. Big Rob Terry (c)

There was actually a time they could have made some money with Tomko. Not now obviously. SQUASH.
Winner: Terry

Foley and Jarrett are pensive backstage, separately. Their match is next! Tenay throws in the detail that Beer Money are collectively the special guest ref. Why not?

Commercial Break

JB interviews Foley and Jarrett. They ramble about firing Bischoff or something. Jarrett talks about being on the outs for a few months. Not only does he owe it to his fans and his family, but he owes Mick for supporting him. Weren’t they feuding?

Loser is Fired
Beer Money are co-special guest refs
Mick Foley vs. Jeff Jarrett

Foley has entrance music, but not Jeff. Take that! TNA should book a 10 on 10 tag match where all 20 guys retire. Storm is in the ring and Roode on the floor. Lockups to start. Dueling chants by the TNA fans here at the Impact Zone. Match is straight for about 3-4 minutes. Roode holds JJ’s leg. Foley pauses but then takes him down from the distraction. Bischoff comes out with a giant bag of ice on his head. He looks sad :(. Time for a break.

Commercial Break

We are back, and Bischoff has joined commentary. Action continues in the ring, Roode is ref in the ring and Storm on the outside. Chair in the ring. Sock in the ring. Bischoff burying both on commentary. Foley charges JJ with the chair. JJ dodges, and hits the Stroke on Foley on the chair for the pin.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett

Bischoff says Foley can’t complain that Bischoff fired him by Fedex. Foley is apparently fired from TNA. Jarrett shakes Foley’s hand. Bischoff fake cries on commentary, then wishes Foley luck in his future endeavors. Bischoff goes on the house mic and has Beer Money beat down JJ. Jeff Hardy music starts, Bischoff confusingly dances to it, then he notices Jeff and RVD clear out Beer Money. RVD has a mic! He gets to cut a promo! He does the thumbs and the crowd chants “Rob” “Van” “Dam”. He challenges Beer Money for a tag match tonight. They accept. RVD’s podcast themesong plays. RVD, and the 2 Jeffs regroup in the ring.

Commercial Break

Mick Foley does a goodbye tour backstage. Then Bubba the Love Sponge returns from the ether to ask Foley about the match tonight. Foley refuses the interview and says Bubba’s the last person he’d like to talk to. Bubba gets upset. Foley knocks him out.

Bischoff and Hogan chat backstage. They talk about doing things business not personal. Hogan says with Jarrett, the fans love him, so leave it alone. Bischoff goes to ask Hogan if he sent Hardy and RVD out, but stops himself.

Christy Hemme interviews Beer Money. They scream a bunch.

Up next: Supermex Hernandez vs Matt Morgan. That’s how they are doing this? No build match?

Commercial Break

JB interviews Jeff Hardy and RVD backstage. Jeff applies black facepaint to half his face during the promo. Jeff says he knows a thing or two about tag matches. RVD talks about showing the TNA Universe what they’re all about. RVD finishes up with his catchphrase of his own name.

Video recap of Morgan/Hernandez feud that EXPLODES in an impromptu match next.

Supermex Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan comes out first, and Hernandez attacks from behind. Brawling into the ring. Morgan begs off, but Hernandez goes to attack further. Morgan regroups and posts Hernandez. Supermex is laid out on the floor. Ref gives the big X. Homicide comes down to check on him. That’s a shoot brutha. Tenay and Taz talk in their best Owen Hart voice but still throw to a break.

Commercial Break

We’re back live and Hernandez is being stretchered out. This takes about 10 minutes with video packages.

Beer Money vs. Jeff Hardy & RVD
Storm goes to work on Jeff to start but he makes his own comeback. Jeff goes under the ring and gets a ladder. He and RVD set it up across the ring to the safety rail.

Commercial Break

We are back at 10:57. Hardy and RVD contol. Tenay announces Daffney vs Tara in a First Blood match on Impact next week. Beer Money takes control in the ring. Beer Money with a long heat sequence. They tag in and out cockily. Double cross body and both Jeff and Storm are down. Both go for tags, but ref doesnt see RVD tagged in so heels continue to dominate. Finally the hot tag to RVD and he’s a houseafire. RVD hits many of his signature spots. Goes for Split-legged moonsault but it’s broken up. Double team suplex on Hardy. Double team DDT on RVD. They regroup and use the ladder on the floor. Rolling Thunder by RVD on Roode. Swanton by Jeff. Five Star Frog Splash by Rob and he pins Roode. Awesome match, best of the night by far. Nice job TNA.
Winners: RVD and Hardy

After the match, ERIC YOUNG comes in, and he HAS A MIC. Next week is a six man tag – Waltman, Hall and Nash against Eric Young and his two partners – Jeff and RVD. They both look surprised to be sucked into the Eric Young world. Young raises their hands!

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