Inside Pulse WWE Monday Night RAW Report 03.22.2010

IT’S TIME…TO…GET…

wait for it…

keep waiting…

Oh for the love of GOD IT’S TIME TO GET RAW!

San Jose, CA is the place to be and the Heartbreak Kid is out here to open up the show. This could very well be his last RAW. We go back to SmackDown where the Undertaker defeated Drew McIntyre, only to get kicked by Shawn on the stage. Shawn is feeling it and it’s the same feeling as a couple moments of his storied career. He plugs his new DVD as if everything is coming to an end. He tells us to leave some room for Volume 2 and Chris Jericho is wondering when he gets his DVD. He tells us that he will be remembered for all eternity by ending the Undertaker’s streak this Sunday.

Lights Out… We get a clip from the new DVD that is available in stores and on WWEShop.com. This segues into a promo clip from the Undertaker with a nice “R.I.P.” vignette at the end. The smile is gone from Shawn as he appreciates the thought, but he wants Undertaker to show him face to face.

Enter our guest host, Pete Rose, and I gotta wonder how much that music cost WWE. He wishes Shawn good luck this Sunday. He finally wants revenge from Kane for what he did in the past, so Shawn has Kane tonight no DQ, no countout.

We talk Cena/Batista and we take a trip back to Summerslam 2008 where Batista broke Cena’s neck. They face off tonight before the big dance.

Commercials.

WWE Rewind: ShowMiz gets owned by John Morrison & R-Truth.

Here comes our Gold Standard…ShowMiz!

The Miz (w/Big Show) v. John Morrison (w/R-Truth)

Before, this was a dream match. Now…it’s just awesome. Greco-Roman knuckle lock to start and Morrison keeps hold of Miz, who reaches the ropes for the break. Bitchslap by Miz gets himself knocked on his ass. Morrison sends Miz out of the ring. Asai Moonsault teased…Miz moves, but gets kicked and he hits the Asai Moonsault anyway. Break time!

Commercials.

We are back and the Miz turns things around during the break with a neckbreaker off the apron! Sick, Sick move. Miz keeps on Morrison’s neck. Morrison dodges a kick and he gets a rollup for two. Miz takes control and goes back on the neck. Both men go at it and Morrison gets the upperhand. Referee restrains them and Morrison knocks Miz for a loop and gets two. Morrison ducks a clothesline attempt AND SWEEPS THE LEG! He goes up top and Miz catches him in the act. Both men are up…Morrison blocks the superplex attempt. SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB! Starship Pain connects! SLAP THE PORPOISE IT’S OVER!

Winner: John Morrison
Grade: B

Big Show takes on R-Truth and the challengers stand tall.

Triple H is in the locker room and Randy joins in. He promises Randy that if he messes with him, he’ll drop him. Randy keeps that in mind, but he tells Hunter that he still has to make it to WrestleMania.

Commercials.

Jack Swagger is dressed up and on color commentary for our next match!

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston v. Vladimir Koslov

Oh God…There goes the IWC. Kofi does his best to evade Koslov and he holds his own. Kofi runs into a brickwall and Koslov hits a belly to belly suplex. Torture Rack applied and Kofi lands on his feet. He gets caught with a fallaway slam. Kingston gets placed on the corner ropes and Kofi manages to counter Vladimir. Trouble in Paradise catches Koslov and he’s going to WrestleMania!

Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: D-

Jack Swagger was awesome on commentary as he sounded serious.

When Partners Hate Each Other…Triple H and Randy Orton gear up to face Legacy & Sheamus…NEXT!

Commercials.

Stu Hart will be inducted in the Hall of Fame!

The Legacy & Sheamus v. Randy Orton & Triple H

Before the match, Cody and Ted brag about how they’re finally free (to fly) and how they didn’t need Orton. They don’t care who wins at WrestleMania, as long as Randy Orton loses. They brag about being younger than Randy. They say we’re jealous of them. They try their best to tongue-in-cheek knock each other down a peg. Seems this is going to be interesting. Sheamus comes down and the match is next!

Commercials.

Trips and Sheamus starts things off…or not. Cody Rhodes gets the honor of being Hunter’s bitch for the first few moments. He keeps looking over at Sheamus and Cody gets Trips off guard. Tag to DiBiase and he looks at Orton who wants a tag and Trips blows him off. This allows Ted to get some offense in. Knee Smash connects and Sheamus goes down. Ted feigns being down and Sheamus gets a double team in. Tag to Sheamus and he’s legally beating down on Trips. Trips fights back and he can’t stop the Celtic Warrior. Tag to DiBiase and Trips is on the wrong side of the ring. Tag to Cody and back to Ted. DiBiase hits a snapmare and Cody tags himself in, getting a glare from Ted. TENSION! Trips makes his comeback and Cody pulls a Flair with the drop and poke. Both men are down and we fight for tags. Tags all around…Orton hits a powerslam on Sheamus and he levels Legacy all by himself. 3.0 Backbreaker on Sheamus! He coils up, but he gets Cody for the DDT..Sheamus hits the Bicycle Kick for the pin!

Winners: Sheamus & The Legacy
Grade: C+

Triple H gets tossed in the ring, but he ducks the bicycle kick and he knocks Sheamus out of the ring.

We recap Cena/Batista from the night after the Elimination Chamber.

Commercials.

Recap of Hart/McMahon from last week.

Bret Hart makes his way to the ring. When he returned in January, he never believed he’d get another chance to compete at WrestleMania. He now has a chance to leave on a good note by beating Vince in a No Holds Barred match. He warns Vince that there will be an army of Harts roaming Phoenix this weekend. He can’t wait to get his hands on Vince. WrestleMania is special to Bret, with his great matches against Owen, Steve, Shawn, and Yokozuna. He promises to give us 100%. His music plays and Vince McMahon comes out on the stage and he vows that Bret will be screwed one way or another.

Shawn walks.

Commercials.

Shawn Michaels v. Kane
Win by pinfall or submission only

Shawn fires away with the chops and he eats a big boot from Kane. Kane tees off on Shawn in the corner. Snapmare connects as does a low dropkick for two. Stalling Brainbuster connects for another two count. Headlock applied by Kane as Shawn tries to find a way out of it. Pillar to post we go and Kane clotheslines Michaels. He stomps away and Shawn finds himself back in the corner. Shawn ducks a right hand and he takes it to Kane. Whip reversal into a sidewalk slam…Two count only. Kane goes to the top…he goes for the clothesline…COUNTERED TO AN ARMBAR/CROSSFACE COMBO! GOOZLE! Shawn rolls through and he gets a heel hook! Kane gets to the bottom rope. Atomic Drop connects and Kane sends Shawn to the corner. Elbow! Kip up! Flying Elbow! He tunes the band up!

UNDERTAKER’s GONG!

GOOZLE! Shawn fights…but Taker CHOKESLAMS HIM! The lights go back out! Kane looks at Shawn…cover…TWO COUNT ONLY! Tombstone attempt, but Shawn gets out of it…SWEET CHIN MUSIC! SLAP THE PORPOISE IT’S OVER!

Winner: Shawn Michaels
Grade: B+

We go back to Cena/McMahon two weeks ago.

Commercials.

Bob Uecker is going to the WWE Hall of Fame!

Pete Rose is happy because Kane went down. He chats it up with Christian and he goes back to his office where Kane was waiting for him. HAHAHA!

Commercials.

Last week: Simply Flawless owns the RAW Divas sans Maryse.

Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, & Eve Torres (w/Kelly Kelly & Mickie James) v. Maryse, Layla, & Michelle McCool (w/Vickie Guerrero & Alicia Fox)

Train wreck time. This is your RAW Main Event! Michelle and Gail take it to each other and Gail connects with her in the corner. Cover gets two. Gail takes down Layla and Michelle gets a Jacknife cover for three. Bullshit.

Winners: Michelle McCool, Maryse, & Layla
Grade: FTS

Seriously? No wonder why TNA’s Knockouts are much better because their company dedicates more time for them.

Batista walks with rent-a-security-team. Face off next!

Commercials.

Next week, the cast from the Hot Tub Time Machine will guest host RAW!

The Final Face Off Between Batista & John Cena

That’s right! Boo me! I’m the bad guy! He tells the fans that Cena will lose at WrestleMania since he can’t beat him. He’ll say it over and over and over and over until we get it in our thick heads. He gets the fact that the fans love Cena. He mocks Cena a bit. He speaks the truth and he tells it like it is. The “Chris Jericho School of Acting” has done Dave Batista wonders. All he see is money and dollar signs. He puts asses in those seats…they pay to see him, but they hate him for his honesty. He’s done talking since he knows that the fans want to hear from John Cena.

John Cena answers the call to arms and he comes out alone. He tells Batista that he already disappointed the people by allowing Batista to be the WWE Champion. “You Can’t Wrestle” chants from the crowd…damn they are wrong. Cena says that the fans lost confidence in him. He has been in this position before and he always relied on how the people still believes him. Batista says how Cena admits being beat and that he is a loser. Cena finally gets the crowd on his side, saying that they are tired of Batista’s garbage. He tells Cena that Batista isn’t good at his job and he should be fired. Batista takes offense to that and Cena says that if he was any good at being “The Animal” he wouldn’t be standing in the ring with security and Cena wouldn’t be standing in the ring. He doesn’t see the Animal…he just sees Dave Batista and he can be beaten. Dave Batista will be beat. He needs to know that come Sunday, Cena’s coming for the gold. Cena is done talking and he turns his back on Batista. Batista screams at Cena saying he’s a corporate puppet. BRAWL! Cena gets the upperhand on Batista and everyone stops the fight. The security gets taken out and Cena stands tall.

Show Over.

The Final Pulse

I’m going to give this show a B+ because the show before WrestleMania really was fun to watch! Sure, we had a couple stinkers with Kofi Kingston/Vladimir Koslov and the 6 Divas tag match, but the show sold WrestleMania as it should and ultimately was a flawless show. Pete Rose was effective when he needed to be. Good show tonight, about time we had one. Enjoy your week!

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