-This week’s episode of Superstars is brought to you by PepBoys!
-Our hosts are Vince McMahon and “Handsome†Doc Hendrix
-Man Mountain Rock opens the show by jamming on his guitar for the crowd.
–Opening Contest: Man Mountain Rock vs. The Black Phantom:
The Phantom opens with an arm ringer and hammerlock but Rock just hiptosses out of it. Rock takes down Phantom and after both men back away from each other the Phantom re-engages with some shots only to be shoulderblocked by Rock. Rock hits a headbutt and whips the Phantom chest first into the corner. Rock hits a spike slam and a Whammy Bar finishes at 1:57. Just a run of the mill squash here.
-Fatu vignette where he revists his impoverished childhood neighborhood in Sunnydale, California. This was when Fatu was being repackaged into his “Making a Difference†Fatu character. He says there is no hope for those that use dope.
–WWF Tag Team Champions Owen Hart & Yokozuna (w/Jim Cornette) vs. Mike Khoury & John Crystal:
Owen and Khoury start and Owen takes him down with a drop toe hold and puts him in an armbar. Khoury hits Owen with a hiptoss off the ropes and tags in Crystal. Both men clothesline Owen but Owen suplexes Crystal and hits a backbreaker. Owen pushes Crystal into the heel corner where Yokozuna chokes him behind the referee’s back. Meanwhile, the Allied Powers give a promo of how they are anticipating a match against the tag team champions at In Your House. The tag champions make a wish over Crystal’s legs and Yokozuna knocks Crystal to the floor. Back in, Owen is tagged in and hits Crystal with a drop toe hold and Yokozuna delivers a leg drop to the back of the head. The pin is academic at 2:44. That was the only function Yokozuna had on this team but you can’t argue that he wasn’t effective.
-Live Events News with Stephanie Wiand. She hypes some WWF fundraisers at some high schools and how the WWF is heading to the New Haven Coliseum and Madison Square Garden where Bret Hart will be facing Jean Pierre LaFitte. LaFitte and Bret cut promos against each other.
–Hunter Hearst-Helmsley vs. Duke “the Dumpster†Droese:
It’s funny to hear Vince rail against his future son-in-law. Lockup starts and Helmsley breaks away, complaining of Droese’s smell. Helmsley starts walking to the locker room and Droese follows him and tosses him back into the ring. Back in, Droese gets a hiptoss and a slam. Helmsley cheap shots Droese to get the advantage and hits an elbow off the ropes. Chinlock time but Droese quickly gets back to his feet and elbows out. Droese goes under a clothesline and kicks Helmsley when he puts his head down too early on a whip. However, Helmsley hot shots Droese when he runs at him off the ropes as we head to a commercial break.
We return from commercial with Helmsley suplexing Droese for two. Helmsley delivers a backbreaker for two. Helmsley measures Droese and…goes back to the chinlock. Sigh. Droese delivers a jawbreaker to escape but Helmsley reverses a whip into the buckle. Blind charge eats knee, though, and Droese gets Helmsley in a delayed sunset flip for two. Droese nails Helmsley with an atomic drop but their heads collide for a weird double KO. After recovering, Droese hits Helmsley with a powerslam off the ropes and hits a backdrop. Droese nails a spinebuster for two. However, Droese puts his head down too early on a whip and a Pedigree finishes at 6:42 shown. That was Helmsley’s go to finish for much of 1995 and 1996. Match was okay but too much stalling from a young Helmsley. *½
-McMahon hypes the lumberjack World championship match at In Your House 2 by showing clips from Monday Night Raw when Sid’s lumberjacks came down to ringside. Sid says that he’s the Master and Ruler of the World as DiBiase shakes the hands of all of the lumberjacks.
-Sure enough, here is our weekly installment of Jeff Jarrett’s “With My Baby Tonight†music video.
–“The Portuguese Man O’ War†Aldo Montoya vs. Tony DeVito:
Adam Maseth is our guest ring announcer and he’s a small kid who Aldo almost bumps into when he gets into the ring. Lockup starts and Montoya gets a shoulder block and a hiptoss. Montoya applies a standing armbar and gets back into the corner by DeVito who gets in a knee. Montoya goes over DeVito on a blind charge and delivers a monkey flip before dropkicking him out of the ring. Montoya hits DeVito with a pescado and rolls him back in. Back in, Montoya applies an armbar and drops a knee on it. I’m sure Man Mountain Rock doesn’t like that Montoya just used his finishing move there and made it look weak. Montoya gets a flying headscissors out of a DeVito backbreaker attempt off the ropes and hits a chop off the ropes. Flying clothesline off the ropes and Montoya whips DeVito into the corner with authority and a top rope bulldog finishes it off at 2:46. This match just seemed like a ton of random moves that didn’t adequately build to a finish. Even in squash matches that stuff is important but the Montoya character really lacked an identity as far as trademark and finishing maneuvers are concerned.
-Call 1-800-TITAN-91 to get the newest Shawn Michaels t-shirt for $21. If you buy it you can get some Shawn Michaels tear drop sunglasses. You can get a Razor Ramon t-shirt also if you don’t like the Shawn Michaels one. What is with the price for these shirts? They are so variable week to week.
-Waylon Mercy is shown talking with his opponent backstage. He says that he expects to get the very best out of his opponent and that the most important thing is for them to follow the rules…before flashing a sinister smile to the camera. It’s stuff like this that made the character awesome.
–Waylon Mercy vs. Jerry Flynn:
Again, Mercy shakes the hand of the referee and his opponent at the beginning of the match. Lockup gets us started and Mercy makes a clean break on the ropes. Another lockup goes to the ropes and when Flynn tries a clean break Mercy unloads on him. Mercy hits a slam and a series of elbow drops. Mercy with a clothesline and he slaps Flynn around for fun. Mercy beats on Flynn in the corner before snapmaring him out of it and ramming the back of his head against the canvas. Mercy hits a suplex and gets up from a cover. After some methodical offense, Mercy hits a side Russian legsweep but Flynn catches him with a spin kick when he runs the ropes. Mercy blind charge eats buckle and Flynn fires off a series of kicks. However, Mercy catches him when he tries one kick too many and a sleeper gets the win at 3:38. Crowd wasn’t into this one at all as Spivey’s methodical offense does not allow for lots of great moments when his opponent can’t fight back.
-Live Event News with Stephanie Wiand. Tatanka cuts a promo for his Indian strap match with Bam Bam Bigelow at the Madison Square Garden show on August 12th. He says he’ll choke and beat Bam Bam with the strap and drag his carcass all over the ring and to all four turnbuckles. Bigelow responds by saying that he found a strap in his garage that he used to use on his dog and says he’ll beat Tatanka in Madison Square Garden because it is his backyard.
-Isaac Yankem D.D.S. vignette of him drilling on patient as Jerry Lawler cuts a promo. The patient says one of her favorite superstars is Bret Hart so Yankem drills viciously in her mouth. That has to violate about a hundred patient treatment protocols in the dental profession.
-Next week tune in to see the 1-2-3 Kid & Savio Vega face off with the Blu Brothers.
The Final Report: A very blah show. Nothing was terrible, but nothing was outstanding either. It looks like next week’s show might be more of the same.
