Everything I Love About Marvel Comics in Just Two Panels
When I was about 8 years old, my father returned from a trip to his childhood home with a two boxes overflowing with comic books. From that night on, my childhood was a happy blur of newsprint-stained fingers, my father’s books on cartooning, lunch table discussions of which hero was the strongest and endless rows of 25 cent boxes at The Great Escape**. And, each one contained the adventures of costumed titans just waiting to be read and loved.
To be sure, I found and read and loved DC comics, Tower Comics, Archie Comics and more. But, from the very start, Marvel Comics made their mark on me — from the angst of the X-Men to the stoic patriotism of Captain America and the constantly changing roster of the Mighty Avengers.
I left comics behind when I hit high school on the mistaken impression it would help me get girls. (It didn’t). And, I didn’t go back until a few years after I graduated from college because I was “an adult.” (I wasn’t.)
But, when I wandered back into Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find*** about 12 years ago, it was like coming home. And, I headed right back to Marvel Universe. I do read lots of modern comics from Marvel to Image to Vertigo and Dark Horse. But to me, there is no substitute from the titles my Dad gave me or in the hundreds of 25 cent boxes I scoured for treasure.
This column will explore, revere and poke fun at the comics of my youth and that certain “comic-bookiness” that seems a bit vacant from the books that hit the shelves these days. Along the way, I hope to meet and interview some of the creators who spun the tales and drew the images that ignited my passion for comics.
And, so that brings us to Incredible Hulk #111.
This is going to sound like shameless plugging for Marvel.com, but I do love digital comics, especially as they allow me to time-travel back to the golden age. And, this Friday was no exception.
Skimming through the online release of Incredible Hulk #111, I found a two-panel sequence that perfectly encapsulates the absolute “comic bookiness” I love about the Marvel U. I know realism is all the rage, but my lifelong love of comics was founded on the wild abandon with which Stan, Jack, Steve and the whole family created their colorful world. And, here it is …
“Bring forth the Titan Time Probe!”
OMG. I love it. The hamminess. The schlock. The unbridled imagination and utter disregard for common sense. That is a sentence that can only be uttered and believed in the world of a comic book.
And, what is the purpose of the Titan Time Probe? Why to compute the identity of the unknown victim-to-be, of course! And, apparently the robotic probe is a “he!” And, “he” just happens to look like a low-rent lunar lander from an episode of Jon Pertwee-era Doctor Who. And, lest we forget, “he” is the only “he” who can bring forth the victim … the all-important unknown victim-to-be!
Oh, Stan … I just love you for this.
I continued to read and found 10 more things I love about Marvel comics on glorious display in just one little issue of the Hulk. Join me, please …
Shakespearean Language
The totally dramatic turns of phrase in Stan’s writing. We get “naught” on two consecutive pages …
A Little Dash of Irony
Here, we have a man raised in a land of dinosaurs standing next to his best friend, a sabre-toothed tiger … in Antarctica … in a loin cloth … and apparently unfazed by sub-zero temperatures. But, the fact that the tracks just end … now, THAT … that’s just MADNESS, my friends.
Language Defying Sound Effects
Forget for a moment that there’s no noise in space … “Sptoo00m!” Let’s face it, “Sptooom” would have sucked. But, the fourth “O” really makes the magic. The issue also gives us a “Rbthoom!”, a “Zzask!” and, no lie, a “Skrazzzskkkk!”
Buckets of Dramatic Gesticulating
There’s more dramatic gesturing in this issue than an episode of “Glee.” But, who can blame the bad guys? I mean, releasing the main lever so “it” can “begin” is pretty fucking important.
P.S. Is it me, or does the lever look like the gear shift of a Scion?
Understandable Character Motivation
The Hulk is completely shredding the aliens in this issue. He’s trapped in outer space. He doesn’t know where he is. Hoe doesn’t know how he’ll get home. But, it is absolutely IMPERATIVE he discover the identities of exactly who’s doing this to him. Because then, and only then, he can correctly administer them a jolly good rodgering.
The Villanous Bitch-Slap
To be a truly proper villan, you must regularly backhand your subordinates. That’s like a law or something. I mean, they just won’t respect you if you don’t. If you can’t deliver a really impactful, mid-evil-trantrum bitch-slap, you’re not going to be promoted. Just give it up and go work as “Flunkie #12″ in HYDRA.
Psuedo-Science 101
Okay, this is a species capable of building a “Titan Time Probe” capable of locating an unknown victim-to-be, which we all know is, like, really, really hard. But, they are totally mystified by how the Hulk can lift the scanner in one hand … in space. Umm … there’s no gravity, so it’s weightless?!?! Just saying …
The Big Reveal
The Hulk is ready for the “Big Boss” (as are funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung) … and it’s apparently an enormous, radioactive space amoeba … with vampire teeth. It’s apparently upwardly mobile as it has risen from single-celled organism to being the supreme space lord. It’s the American dream, bless its heart. Oh, wait … it doesn’t have a heart.
Best of all … we are promised that this story will soon be “Hulk-inued” next month. And, after all, isn’t that the single most important promise a comic can make to a reader?
And, a little Extra Credit
I didn’t qualify to take AP physics, but I don’t think Ka-Zar and Zabu made it …
Tim Miner’s personal blog
