Pulse Wrestling’s 04.26.2010 WWE Monday Night RAW Report: 2010 WWE Draft, John Cena

Live from Richmond, VA

King, Cole and Striker hype up the draft. Every superstar from RAW and Smackdown is available.

Match #1: Unified Tag Team Title Match – ShowMiz (c) vs. The Hart Dynasty

Weelll . . . AWESOME! Still love the song. Champs coming out first? Not so much. Miz gets on the mic to complain about ShowMiz being forced to compete in three matches last night. He accuses the Hart Dynasty of being accused of being handed everything because of their Uncle Bret. He then rips on their being trained by Stu Hart (ouch), and calls himself a “true technical master of the ring.” Bret Hart, apparently, is the “biggest loser of them all.” Miz then DEMANDS that Bret come out and declare ShowMiz the greatest tag team in WWE history . . . because they’re ShowMiz, and they’re AWE . . .

This brings out Bret (always hip in his leather jacket, backwards cap, and shades). He honors his commitment and declares ShowMiz the greatest tag team of all time. He also declares The Mountie as the greatest IC Champion of all time, and David Arquette the greatest World Champion of all time. He can say anything he wants, and calls Miz a horse-faced idiot. Talk is cheap, and tonight, ShowMiz will have no choice but to declare the Hart Dynasty the new Tag Team Champions of the world. This, of course, brings out Tyson and DH.

Kidd and Miz lock up to start. Miz eventually takes control, but Kidd flips off the ropes to free himself, then hits a seated dropkick for two. Tag to DH, who comes in with the delayed Vertical Suplex. That gets two. DH whips Miz off the ropes, but Miz gets out of the ring. DH follows and hits a shoulder block. Hart Dynasty in control, as we head to . . .

Commercial

We come back, and Miz has a chinlock on DH, which he then transitions to a sleeper hold. DH hits a couple of elbows, and then suplexes out. Both men tag out. Kidd comes in with a springboard dropkick and some kicks, but Show tosses Kidd and hits a big boot. Show picks Kidd up and hits a headbutt, then works him over in the corner. HUGE biel, and Miz gets tagged in. Miz mocks Bret’s mannerisms, to jeers of the crowd. Miz off the ropes, but Kidd does a crucifix into a sunset flip for two. Miz with an inverted facelock backbreaker into a neckbreaker, but that only gets two, and we HIT THE CHINLOCK (TM Scott Keith). Kidd fights out with kicks and tags in DH, who comes in with shoulderblocks and clotheslines. DH goes for the running powerslam, but Miz counters into a roll-up for two. DH with a roll-up, and a powerslam, both for two-counts. DH’s charge meets boot and Miz tries to pin him with the feet on the ropes, but Bret pushes his feet up. Show comes to the other side to attack Bret, but Kidd takes him out with a cannonball senton off the apron. Springboard Hart Attack follows, Kidd locks in the Sharpshooter and Miz . . . taps (to a nice pop)!

Winners and NEW Unified Tag Team Champions: The Hart Dynasty
Comments: Well, it was only a matter of time before they pulled the trigger. Hope these guys seize this opportunity to get over. Match was plenty of fun, with a pretty hot finishing sequence. ***

Next, we’ll recap Sheamus’ destruction of HHH last night, after these . . .

Commercials

We come back with highlights of the Cena-Batista Last Man Standing match. Some pretty cool spots, it looks like, but . . . duct tape???

During the commercial, Miz and Show stare down each other, and Big Show nailed Miz with the knock-out punch.

Cole “masterfully” transitions into the Sheamus-HHH shenanigans from last night. No beef with the package. Yes, it makes HHH look like Super Man, but also shows Sheamus decimating him. Striker says he’s never seen HHH handled like that.

We throw it to the back to Josh Matthews and Josh Swagger. Swagger did what he said he was going to do – he dominated Randy Orton. He went toe-to-toe with the viper, cut its head off, and watched it slither away. He is an Academic All-American American with a 4.0 in finance. Were he in Wall Street, the country wouldn’t be in the toilet (HA!). Edge interrupts to let Swagger know he is next in line after beating Jericho last night, and if Swagger doesn’t get drafted to RAW, 4.0 won’t be his GPA, but how many days he has left as World Heavyweight Champion.

The Beautiful Pe . . .er, Simply Flawless comes out for a Divas match for a Divas draft pick, up next, after these . . .

Commercials

Two weeks ago, Eve beats Maryse to win the Tramp Stamp Title.

Match #2: Simply Flawless vs. Eve Torres & Maryse

Gee, I wonder if the RAW ladies will get along . . . King and Striker explain that we’ll see a series of inter-promotional matches tonight, with the winner getting a draft pick for his/her/their brand. Eve and Layla start out, with Eve getting a quick roll-up for two. Eve whips Layla into the corner and follows up with a clothesline. She tries to tag in Maryse, but Maryse hits her with a kick, and they brawl. Eve whips Maryse into the barricade and comes back in, only to get hit with a dropkick, for two. Tag to McCool. Clothesline gets two. McCool works over Eve in typical Diva fashion, chokes her on the ropes, and creates a diversion to let Layla get some choking in. McCool locks in a Dragon Sleeper, but Eve flips out of it and counters with a Scorpion Death Drop for two. Eve starts the comeback and gets a neckbreaker for two. Eve comes off the ropes, But Maryse gets the blind tag, and the ref orders Eve out as Maryse taunts her. Maryse turns right into a big boot from McCool, however, and that gets 3.

Winners: Simply Flawless
Comments: Eh, not as bad as I expected. *

And the first draw pick is . . . KELLY KELLY TO SMACKDOWN!

The Straight Edge Society WALKS in the back, and we cut to . . .

Commercials

Match #3: Evan Bourne vs. CM Punk

Punk comes out playing with his still intact, and beautiful, hair, which is just awesome. Punk backs Bourne into the corner and hits a couple of knees, and then a kick. Whip off the ropes, but Bourne comes back with a hurracarana and come kicks. Bourne goes off the ropes, but Punk his a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker of sorts for two. Punk punishes Bourne for a bit with more kicks, but Bourne counters with a roll-up for two. Leg lariat from Punk gets two, as he continues to play with his hair to taunt the crowd. Bourne gets out of a suplex and hits a knee to the head, a sliding clothesline, and a basement dropkick for two. Spinning heel kick sends Punk to the outside, and Bourne dives out onto Punk and Gallows. Back in, Bourne kicks punk to the corner and hits a sliding dropkick to the face. Bourne goes for Air Bourne, but Serena distracts the ref and last night’s mystery man crotches Bourne on the top rope. GTS finishes.

Winner: CM Punk
Comments: Too short to be anything special, but fun while it lasted. **

Smackdown’s draft pick . . . THE BIG SHOW TO SMACKDOWN! Punk looks concerned.

Sheamus WALKS in the back with a shit-eating grin, as we go to . . .

Commercial

We’re back with a recap of how the draft’s gone so far.

Backstage, Teddy Long welcomes Show to Smackdown, and offers a handshake. Show just stares at him . . . and puts his arm around him. Show has a chuckle and walks away. Teddy is pleased, so he dances.

Sheamus comes out, and he’s got a mic. Good news: HHH won’t be drafted to Smackdown. Bad news: HHH will never wrestle again. HHH would’ve liked to have left in his own terms, but made the mistake of underestimating Sheamus, so he took him out. Now Sheamus wants to move on to the WWE Championship, so, John Cena . . .

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD, THEY COUNSEL ME, THEY UNDERSTAND! Orton, too, has a mic. Nobody has despised HHH as much as he has. He’s done terrible things to him and his family, but when it was time to fight last year at WM, he did it face to face, as opposed to jumping him from behind with a lead pipe. Sheamus got the job done, but doesn’t deserve a title shot. Sheamus (correctly) points out that Orton had a title match last night and lost. Sheamus offers to let Orton out of the ring, before he sidelines him as well. Orton has a counteroffer: RKO and punt! Sheamus respectfully declines, and tells Orton he’s going to face John Cena for the title.

This, of course, brings out John Cena, who sells his brutal match from last night by being all smiles. We’ve got a problem. Two men, wanting a title shot. Cena takes this time to introduce tonight’s guest host, but he doesn’t come out. Cena’s phone rings, so he takes a call from WWE Mobile (“This is why I wrestle in jean shorts!”). Apparently, Mel Kiper was supposed to guest host, but he went to the other draft. Cena takes this opportunity to mock Sheamus’ skin tone. Sheamus takes exception. Ah, but you see, Cena was told at the beginning of the night that only HE, JOHN CENA, gets to name the next #1 contender. So tonight, it’s Sheamus vs. Randy Orton, in a #1 Contendership match! Sheamus and Orton both avoid each other’s finishers, and Sheamus backs up the ramp as they stare down.

Kane, R-Truth, Mysterio, McIntyre, and Shad walk to the ring for a 10-man match, right after these . . .

Commercials

Match #4: Battle Royal – R-Truth, Rey Mysterio, Kane, Drew McIntyre, & Shad vs. MVP, Mark Henry, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, and Ted DiBiase

Oops, sorry, this is a battle royal, NOT a 10-man tag. This next match is for THREE draft picks (gee, a way to get an entire stable drafted, perhaps . . .?). I’ll try to keep tack of eliminations:

Yoshi Tatsu eliminates Drew McIntyre
Shad eliminates Yoshi Tatsu

Commercials

We come back, surprisingly, to no eliminations, BUT

Rey Mysterio eliminates MVP
Santino eliminates Shad & R-Truth
Kane eliminates Mark Henry
DiBiase eliminates Kane

Rey is left in there with Santino and DiBiase. DiBiase catches Mysterio after a moonsault and tries to toss him, but Mysterio hangs on and springboards back in. Both men almost go over, but get back in. Another near elimination by DiBiase, but Mysterio hangs on and almost eliminates DiBiase. They fight on the apron, and DiBiase eventually boots Mysterio to the floor.

Winner: Team RAW (survivors: Ted DiBiase and Santino Marella)
Comments: No rating for a battle royal, although the Mysterio-DiBiase finishing sequence was cool enough.

Santino tries to celebrate, but DiBiase hits him with Dream Street.

The three draft picks are . . . JOHN MORRISON (out to a nice pop), R-TRUTH, and . . . EDGE (come on, heel turn!!!) TO RAW!

Commercials

Match #5: Chris Jericho vs. Christian

VITAMIN C EXPLODES!!! But first, Jericho’s got something to say. He was the victim of an attack at the hands of the obviously deranged Edge. Edge tried to break his leg. He doesn’t deserve this! Jericho demands that Edge be fined and suspended! He does take some of the blame for losing, as he was off his game after losing to a “nameless, faceless rookie” (Slater) on NXT next week. He’s still the best in the world at what he does, and he’ll never lose to an unaccomplished nobody again. Jericho DEMANDS that Slater come out and apologize.

And Slater does, indeed, come out! Slater is sorry . . . that Jericho wasn’t able to beat Edge last night. Or Slater last week. Or Slater’s pro tonight. This, of course, brings out Christian.

Slater tosses Jericho to the outside before Christian gets in the ring. Back in the ring, Christian gets the early upper hand. Jericho takes a powder, but Christian hits a baseball slide and is in control as we go to . . .

Commercials

We’re back with Jericho in control, but Christian fights out and gets a roll-up for two. Jericho clothesline gets two. Jericho catapults Christian’s neck into the bottom rope, and stops to taunt Heath Slater for a bit. Bodyslam by Jericho, but Lionsault misses. Christian fires away with forearms and hits a second rope elbow smash. Christian chokes Jericho on the middle rope. Walls attempt gets countered into a roll-up for two. Jericho hits the Move Formerly Known as the Y2J Stinger (running enziguri) for two. Bulldog attempt countered into the reverse DDT by Christian, for two. Killswitch attempt countered into a catapult, but Christian comes off the second rope with a sunset flip for two. Jericho finally locks in the Walls, but Christian makes the ropes. Jericho stops to argue with the ref, and it gives Christian an opportunity to come off the top . . . into a Codebreaker.

Winner: Chris Jericho
Comments: These two have great chemistry, and this was no exception. Hurt by the commercial break, but good match otherwise. **1/2

Jericho attacks Slater after the match, hitting a Codebreaker.

And the draft pick is . . . KOFI KINGSTON TO SMACKDOWN!!!

Kofi comes out and immediately rushes the ring, hitting Jericho with Trouble in Paradise.

Next, with a draft pick on the line, Swagger vs. Morrison! Well, after these . . .

Commercials

We’re back, with a recap of the Hart Dynasty’s tag title win, and the break-up of ShowMiz.

Match #6: Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison

They wrestle around to a stalemate. Swagger eventually backs Morrison into the corner and hits some clubbing blows to Morrison’s back. Swagger takes Morrison down and keeps him grounded with some amateur wrestling, then slaps him upside the head a bit. Morrison is not amused, as he hits a forearm and then a kick, for two. Fujiwara-like armbar by Morrison, with a knee to the face for good measure. Swagger eventually works his way back up and hits a bodyslam, and then gets a headlock takeover. They fight over that for a bit, and Morrison just can’t get out. Morrison gets a few near falls out of that. Morrison works his way up and slugs out of the hold. Kick sends Swagger to the outside, and Morrison follows with a corkscrew plancha. Back in, Morrison covers for two. Swagger whips Morrison into the corner, and hits a shoulderblock to the ribs. Swagger is not in control, as we cut to . . .

Commercials

Back, Swagger has Morrison down with an armbar. Morrison gets out and gets a victory roll for two. Morrison on the apron, where he kicks a charging Swagger, but gets kneed for his trouble. Abdominal Stretch with assistance from the ropes by Swagger (think an Abdominal Stretch/Tarantula), and another knee to Morrison. Swagger puts Morrison up top and tries to toss him, but Morrison lands on his feet and begins the comeback. Standing Shooting Star Press gets two. Swagger gets a headbutt to the ribs and a biel. Running Vader Bomb misses, and Morrison catapults Swagger into the turnbuckle. Roll-up gets two. Flying Chuck and running knee, for two. Swagger rolls to the outside, but Morrison follows and tosses Swagger into the barricade. Back in, Swagger actually tries for a Doctor Bomb, but Morrison rolls out and gets a Russian Leg Sweep. Morrison goes for Starship Pain, but Swagger crotches him and brings him down for the Doctor Bomb. That finishes.

Winner: Jack Swagger
Comments: Another fine match from these two. This could have been a nice World Title program, but c’est la vie. ***

The draft pick is . . . CHRISTIAN TO SMACKDOWN! Well, so much for an Edge and Christian reunion. But hey, the Christian-Swagger matches in ECW were really good, so there’s that.

Commercials

Next week’s guest host . . . Wayne Brady! Odds on him choking a bitch?

King, Cole and Striker recap the draft picks so far.

DiBiase and Carlito talk in the dressing room. DiBiase makes Carlito an offer, which Carlito refuses and walks away. R-Truth walks in, and DiBiase panders to him a bit, then makes R-Truth an offer: how about R-Truth be his “confidant”? R-Truth correctly calls him out on trying to get himself a “Virgil.” R-Truth offers to think about it after DiBiase offers to pay him a lot of money, but then slaps DiBiase. Well, he didn’t think over that one for very long.

Video package of Cena doing the Tribute to the Troops.

Randy Orton! Sheamus! #1 Contendership! Tonight! But not now, because we’re going to . . .

Commercials

Match #7: Dolph Ziggler vs. Hornswoggle

Cole informs us that tomorrow, at Noon ET, we’ll have a Supplemental Draft. I swear, they can’t do this to Dolph . . . and why is Hornswoggle still wearing the DX shirt? And of course, Hornswoggle throws shoes and wins by countout.

Winner: Hornswoggle
Comments: FTS.

After the match, Ziggler tries to get his heat back by putting Hornswoggle out with a sleeper.

And tonight’s final draft pick is . . . CHRIS JERICHO TO RAW!!!

Backstage, Orton WALKS!

Commercials

Just as the ring announcer is about to announce the #1 Contendership match, Batista comes out to bitch. He should be the #1 contender. John Cena can’t beat him. Duct tape, really??? Our thoughts exactly, Dave. No one shames him like that, and John Cena owes him a match. This brings out Sheamus. Sheamus informs him that he lost, and he’s a loser, like Orton. This, of course, brings out Orton, who walks a little faster these days! Orton tells Dave he’s had to listen to him whine and complain since they were in Evolution together. Orton makes Batista a deal: how about he beat Sheamus first and then face Batista? Sheamus takes exception to this, and arguing ensues. This brings out Cena, who makes this a Triple Threat Match.

Match #8: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus vs. Batista

Batista goes to the outside and lets Orton and Sheamus fight it out. Sheamus gets a bodyslam, but Batista breaks up the count (off a bodyslam?), and tosses Sheamus shoulder-first into the post. Striker tells us that Orton was under the tutelage of Batista in Evolution, as I wonder if he actually watched wrestling around that time. Now it’s Orton-Batista, with Orton stomping a mudhole . . . thankfully, no middle finger salute. Orton fires away with a couple of European uppercuts and a knee drop, for two. Batista rolls to the outside, where he and Orton brawl. Batista rakes the eyes to get the advantage, and pounds on Orton before coming out to beat on Sheamus. Back in, Orton makes a comeback and chokes away in the corner. Whip is reversed by Batista, but charge meets boot. That gets two. Batista regains the upper hand by tossing Orton into middle turnbuckle and hitting a boot. Sheamus comes in to break up the choke, but Orton tosses him for his trouble. Spinebuster by Batista and . . . THUMBS DOWN!

Commercials

Back in, Orton goes for a knee drop on Sheamus, but misses and Sheamus covers for two. Sheamus continues to work over Orton as Batista lays around on the outside after getting tossed into the stairs during the break. Orton and Sheamus brawl on the outside, so Batista rejoins the party and rams Orton’s back into the apron. Batista throws Sheamus back in, and a clothesline gets two. Batista gets the shoulders in the corner, but Sheamus knocks him out of the ring. Orton comes back into the ring, and walks right into the Rock Bottom backbreaker for two. Sheamus gets a chinlock, but Orton fights out and gets some clotheslines. Batista comes back in, only to get powerslammed by Orton. Orton sets up Sheamus for the rope hanging DDT, but gets backdropped out. Batista hits Sheamus with a clothesline and a Blue Thunder Bomb of sorts, but Orton pulls Batista out and tosses him against the stairs. Back in, Orton tries to steal the pin, but only gets two. Orton gives Batista the rope hanging DDT and talks him for the RKO, but Sheamus nails him with a knee to the head and sets Orton up for the Razor’s Edge (now called the Pale Justice), but gets speared by Batista for two. Batista takes both the 3.0 backbreaker and the Pump Kick. Orton ducks a Pump Kick attempt and powerslams Sheamus. RKO hits, but . . . here’s Edge, with a spear to Randy!!! Batista drapes a hand over Orton, and that does it.

Winner: Batista
Comments: Funny, as I was doing this review, I was talking to Widro about an Edge-Orton feud based on their Rated RKO history. Looks like we may get it. Match was pretty good. **3/4

We go out to Edge atop the ramp staring smugly at Orton, who continues to sell the spear.

Instant Analysis: Good enough show tonight, but further proof that Vince should fight any network requests to go to 3 hours, as these shows tend to drag a little. Still, almost all of the matches were good, and the draft picks, while pretty mundane at first, got pretty interesting towards the end. The Supplemental Draft needs to bring a good babyface over to Smackdown, which got raped pretty badly in that regard, especially with Taker being more of a “special attraction” and Rey needing time off any day now. But hey, any show that ends with an Edge heel turn (presumably) is OK in my book.

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