Opening Thoughts
-Tonight, we answer the biggest question on the minds of Internet wrestling nerds everywhere: is this thing even worth watching if Bryan Danielson isn’t on the show? The answer will be revealed…
-..right now. No, probably not. Still, you might get to see Wade Barrett be badass, so that’s something, right? Actually, the bigger question will be if the ratings are affected at all by the loss of Danielson. No offense to Tarver or Sheffield, but I doubt either one of them had major fanbases, although now I’m sure I’ll get an angry e-mail from the world’s biggest “Silverback Ryan Reeves” fan.
-But hey, Virgil was on television last night! That was kind of neat, wasn’t it? Sure, his swagger kind of said, “I’m too old for this shit,” and pushing those ropes apart for Dibiase was probably more physically stressful than it should have been, but enough time has passed that it was a fun little trip down memory lane seeing him on the magic box.
-NXTime! I should trademark that…anywho, we get a recap of last week and the three eliminations. They don’t replay any of the promos from the departed, which I think is a shame, as they were my favorite promos from all of them ever. It’s a bit odd watching the opening credits now, as it features three dudes who are no longer in the competition. It makes sense, as the music is cut to a certain point, but it’s going to be strange seeing all eight men and their pros being announced when half of them aren’t on the show anymore.
-We’re live in Ottawa, and Matt Striker is on the ramp to introduce the Pros. Chris Jericho seems to get a major pop, but then it turns to boos as everyone remembers that he’s a heel. Christian and Matt Hardy get massive pops, and people HATE CM Punk. I mean, just crazy villainy emanating from him. Regal and Miz both get booed, and they all take a seat on the stage, as they’ll be doing some evaluations tonight. Striker asks all of them what they’re looking for in the next breakout star, and we start with Miz. He’s looking for someone that has the potential to bring in a larger fanbase than what WWE already has, i.e. someone is flipping through channels and stops because they see that wrestler and are intrigued. That’s a pretty good answer. Miz sets an early, and high, bar for remark of the night when he responds to the boos of the fans with a smarmy, “Keep booing!” I absolutely love when wrestlers add a little something to their lines in response to the crowd.
-Regal agrees with Miz (as do I), and looks for adaptability, as he can be funny one minute and crazy violent the next. Seeing Regal talk about what’s needed from up and coming wrestlers just makes me wish that this guy was getting more respect as a competitor in his own right. Maybe he’s not what he was a few years ago, but as a character and coach he’s just sheer dynamite. Glazer suggested that he be the new Raw GM, and while he can be, and has been, brilliant in this role, I would love to see him become a major villain, almost a Magneto figure, strategizing and getting involved physically when necessary. He could absolutely be pushed as a violent British kingpin who dirties his hands when necessary, but does it well. He doesn’t need to be a major threat for the title or anything, but give him Kozlov and Sheffield as enforcers, and perhaps, oh, I don’t know, the Dudebusters as annoying low-level dirtbags to harass enemies, and it could really be something neat. I just picture him rolling up his sleeves and beating the crap out of a belligerent R-Truth, and I think of how unbelievably awesome it could be.
-Wow, digression. Punk’s turn, and the boos are palpable. He takes the opportunity to simply cut a heel promo, as he’s lost his appetite to even be in front of these people. Tee and hee. Christian is looking for someone to stand and take the whole thing, and that, much as he hates to admit it, Miz has a point. He’s looking for someone to show him “it,’ which gives Regal the chance to ask, “When are you going to show me ‘it?’ You haven’t shown me ‘it’ in ten years.” Miz fnds this little interaction humorous, and CM Punk mutters something, but just looks a little surprised to be in the middle of it. Christian retorts, “I showed you it when I beat you how many times in a row.” He’s got a point.
-Matt Hardy gets CRAZY cheers, but gives an answer essentially agreeing with everyone else, looking for the total package, etc. He also points out that they need to be able to survive in the lockerroom, and that’s a fairly valid statement. Chris Jericho gets booed to hell, and says that he needs someone to make him want to pay money to see them, and that Wade Barrett (without naming names) is the only one that has shown that. Oh, and everyone in the audience is a hypocrite. Gotta get that in there.
-A match is coming up right now! Heel greatness: Darren Young comes out, and Punk stands up as if to walk down with him. Then, once Young has gotten a few feet in front of him, Punk cartoonishly turns around as if to say, “Aaaaand I don’t care,” leaving Young not to notice until he turns around at the bottom of the ramp. Awesome.
COMMERCIALS
Match One: Darren Young vs. Wade Barrett
-No headband for Young tonight, if you care. Jericho walks Barrett down to the ring, as these guys are obviously thick as thieves. Barrett gets in Young’s face early, but Young tackles him down and throws him to the outside. They brawl, and Barrett gains the upper hand, giving Jericho to yell at the announcers, “Look he’s dismantling him!” One often gets the sense that Jericho is having the time of his life out there when he’s allowed to just yell at the announcers. Young recovers from a running boot to the face, and starts fighting back, taking Barrett back with punches, elbows, and a running shoulder block. Young goes for his full nelson facebuster, but Barrett reverses into a fireman’s carry, yet Young is able to escape and ends up sitting on the top turnbuckle. He elbows Barrett in the face and pulls him in for an attempted tornado DDT, but he overshoots and ends up on the apron. He guillotines Barrett on the top rope, and then runs to the top only to end up knocked off his balance and right on the turnbuckle crotch-first. Barrett follows up with a hard kick to the face of the bent over Young. Ouch. Young is housted off the turnbuckle into a fireman’s carry, and one forward slam later, we’re done here. Not bad, if not great.
Winner: Wade Barrett
-The announcers point out that this might be the death knell for Young, and they’re probably right.
-Video package displaying the Pros’ thoughts on David Otunga. They all say that he has a ton of personality and charisma, and the Miz LOVES this guy, as does Jericho. Christian doesn’t think he has it in the ring, and CM Punk makes my night: “I think he’s probably the worst NXT rookie. I gotta be blunt: I think he’s gonna hurt himself.” THANK YOU, Mr. Punk. They also replay his remarkably sloppy spinebuster from one of the first weeks. Matt Hardy thinks he got here on kind of a free pass, and Christian must have heard what Punk said and, not to be outdone, says, “Isn’t he engaged to Kelly Clarkson or something like that? Jennifer Hudson, whatever. Same thing.” So, they acknowledge that he’s charismatic, but most think his in-ring work is lousy (it is), that he’s kind of a dick (he is), and that he’s kind of gotten preferential treatment (he has).
-I really, really dislike David Otunga. I have no real interest in seeing him on my television unless he’s had another year of seasoning in the ring. Meanwhile, Bryan Danielson is off television. Justice, she cannot hear my cries.
COMMERCIALS
-Huh…Michael Tarver and Bryan Danielson (still being called Daniel Bryan) are in the ring with Matt Striker. Their eliminations from last week are replayed. Tarver says that he was eliminated by WWE Management, who are a bunch of easily intimidated pencil pushers who are afraid of him. He calls them unprofessional for not eliminating him personally. When told that it was unprofessional for him not to participate in the challenges, he points out that he was meant to stand out, and he did. The crowd chants “loser.” Striker cuts him off when he starts talking about how he knew what he was doing when he turned down every one of the competitions. Daniel Bryan (dammit, what are we calling him?!) gets a nice little pop. He’s asked for his thoughts, and things get interesting. He’d heard all about the politics in WWE, and how Vince McMahon likes big guys, and that WWE prefers people that they make themselves. He says that management doesn’t get to pick who they want through prejudice, and that they should pick the people who are right for the job, and the best man for the job is him. Some cheers are heard, which certainly beats “loser” chants.
-Did he eliminate himself? “Blessed are the meek, right?” He knows that he’s great. He knows that Jericho knows that he’s great, he knows that Regal knows he’s great (Regal nods), and that the Miz not only knows he’s great, but knows he’s better than he is. Michael Cole seems dumbfounded and wonders where he’s getting any of this from. Miz takes offense, naturally, saying, “You’re better than me?” This is made even better by Regal and Punk both nodding vigorously, and Punk tapping Regal on the shoulder, then holding up his hands far apart and mouthing, “By a lot!” Man, that might not be in Punk’s heelish character, but it was wonderful to see a little of the “real” Punk for a second, and Regal seems honestly proud of his protege. After Miz says that Bryan has never done anything, Regal tries to chime in, “No really, Miz, he is better than you.” Bryan challenges him to a match right then and there, but Striker tries to put the kibosh on it. What’s crazy then is that he calls out Michael Cole. “Michael Cole, you’re just a parrot. You have Vince McMahon in your year telling you all the time to tell these people that I don’t have it. You think because I don’t watch television, because I’m a vegan, that I don’t have it, that I don’t have personality. I have more personality in my little finger than you have in your whole being. You are a poor man’s replacement, you are a poor man’s replacement for J.R…” It’s here that violence begins. He piefaces him, and Striker is on him almost immediately. He starts kicking Cole on the ground, and Danielson is screaming, “I don’t have it?! I don’t have it?!” Officials pull him away, and we go to commercial.
-Well, I don’t know this is supposed to help him, unless he’s going to be hanging out with Regal and basically acting as an out of control heel who feels he’s been treated unfairly. Attacking announcers isn’t a face move, even if that announcer is, indeed, an annoying little parrot. Where is this supposed to go? Who is this supposed to help? How does this make him a more interesting character? He just seems like a whiner who can’t take criticism.
COMMERCIALS
-They replay the attack, and it’s just weird to watch. People seem to cheer the Cole beating, but Matthews seems to be with him now. Matthews says that, certainly, Bryan won’t be in the lockerroom again, and I really have no idea what’s going on. Cole says he’s going to press charges.
Match Two: Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater
-Whoa. Michael Cole just stormed off the set. Well, guess we’ll see how Matthews does on his own. Ooh, we missed a neat spot, but we see it in the replay, as Justin Gabriel leaps to the outside only to get kicked in the chest on the way down. Decent back and forth match between the two, and the crowd seems fairly invested in the whole thing. Gabriel is able to keep Heath back with kicks, and they’re his bread and butter as a worker. In fact, he manages to take Slater down with a kick to the head, then follows up with a 450 splash for the pin.
Winner: Justin Gabriel
-Post-match, Justin Gabriel helps Slater up, which is nice, I guess. Wow, Slater has a MUCH better spinebuster than Otunga.
-And now, we get to speak to Skip Sheffield, who thinks that he was voted off because he was viewed as a threat. I don’t know about that. Apparently, that’s all he really has to say. Short promo with no sense of where he’s going next.
COMMERCIALS
-Recap of Batista/Cena feud. Yippee, less to type.
-Cole is back out to recap the PPV, but calls Danielson a creep for attacking him. Honestly, it’s hard to blame him. Does WWE have plans for Danielson at all, or was this most recent angle a way to get rid of him without people totally hating WWE for it? After all, if he’s a jerk that attacks announcers (even Cole), how can we get behind him? And, if they want to get rid of him, why did they bring him in to begin with? I’m perplexed.
-Video package showing the Pros’ thoughts on Darren Young, and this should be interesting. Punk seems to see himself as a teacher and a guide, and not his friend. We all have ways of teaching, he says. Jericho isn’t a fan, really, but Miz sees something, but he’s not sure what it is. Truth can see him being a superstar, but it all depends on what he shows. Mixed stuff for Young, which isn’t a surprise; I expect to see him eliminated tonight, though.
-Pros’ Poll is next.
COMMERCIALS
-You know, Otunga didn’t wrestle tonight, or do anything for that matter, so how can his ranking really go up or down?
-The poll is as follows: Barrett remains number one, to the surprise of no one. Otunga stays number two, but Heath Slater takes number three, even though he lost tonight. It’s between Justin Gabriel and Darren Young, and if Gabriel loses, it’s just to swerve. However, all is right with the universe, and Gabriel is number four, while Young is number five, and is thus gone. Striker gives Young the mic, and tells him to go up to the Pros and tell them his thoughts. However, instead of cutting a promo, he tells everyone how he respects them, and he thanks the fans for letting him wrestle in front of them each week. The audience, however, doesn’t give a damn, and sings the goodbye song. Cole says, “Shouldn’t have been so nice.” “Hey Hey Goodbye” wipes the smile off his face, but he says that this is not the last the audience will see of Darren Young.
-Next week, the competition will, in the words of Striker, “truly intensify.”
-We’re left with a replay of Bryan’s attack tonight, but they try to refocus, and apparently there will be another elimination next week.
Closing Thoughts
-Young being eliminated isn’t a shock. I don’t know why Slater would move above Gabriel, but I imagine it’s one of them that’s gone next week, as Otunga being cut is simply too good to be true. When he’s on Raw, we’re going to be wondering what happened to Bryan Danielson, and that makes me a little sad.
-I feel like something else needs to be said about the use of Bryan Danielson/Daniel Bryan on tonight’s show. I was talking with Pulse Glazer over Facebook chat while watching it on DVR,a nd neither of us has any idea what’s supposed to happen next. Maybe it’s a heel turn, maybe it’s a dismissal, maybe it’s just another layer to his character, but I’m stumped. If he’s on television next week, I’ll be a bit surprised, but seriously, what’s supposed to happen with him now? Honestly, which ROH alumnus is worse off these days, Bryan Danielson or Nigel McGuinness? One is being booked into a place I can’t find with a flashlight, and the other, despite being at the top of fan-rankings, loses cleanly to guys at the bottom of said rankings? Right now, it kind of feels like Danielson, and he’s barely been allowed to look like a threat to anyone at all, instead being booked as, well, kind of a jerk. If he’s planning on being a heel, I kind of see where it can possibly go, but I haven’t the slightest clue. Your guess is as good as mine, readers.
