Remember how I joked that the only thing that can screw up The Bang is the casting of Ted McGinley and Anthony Anderson? CBS found their own way to mess with the chemistry. Next season the show will move to 8 p.m. on Thursday nights. It will be the lead in for William Shatner’s S*$& My Dad Says. This will mean that every season will have had The Bang‘s time slot moved. Why can’t the network let it gain more viewers in a reliable slot? Why must it be expected to turn a Titus rip-off into a hit? Don’t be mistaken, all this Shatner series is going to do is try to make him sound like Stacy Keach in Titus. Who bases a sitcom off less than 200 Tweets?
This shouldn’t be a ratings collapse like when ABC shifted Taxi. The Bang will have an advantage in the ratings over NBC’s Community since The Bang isn’t on Hulu or OnDemand. You either watch the broadcast, DVR it or wait for the DVDs in the Fall. Shame to think the power of Sheldon Cooper will be used to destroy Joel McHale. Enough about next season, it’s time to focus on the third season finale.
“The Lunar Excitation” opens on the roof on the building with tons of equipment. Howard, Raj, Sheldon and Leonard aim a laser at the Sea of Tranquility on the moon. Raj uses a telescope to watch The Good Wife in nearby windows. He likes being a peeping tom. Leonard goes down to get Penny even though he’s still not over the break up. But he figures she’d like the science weirdness.
Turns out Penny already has plans in the form of a hunk named Zack. Leonard explains that the astronauts left reflectors on the moon and they’re going to bounce a laser off of them. Zack swears they can’t bounce lasers off the moon since there’s no gravity. Penny met her new brainiac through work. His dad’s company makes menus for the Cheesecake Factory. He insists there’s science involved in the process.
She comes up on the roof with Zack. He thinks the laser is “bitchin’.” Sheldon explains why it’s bitchin’ Zack wants to know how they can be sure the moon won’t blow up. Sheldon thinks he’s perfect for Penny. Leonard tells him the laser has been set to stun to make sure it doesn’t blow up the moon. The guy activate the laser and get a successful reflection. They have proof that man really was on the moon. Zack doesn’t think much of it. As Penny takes him away, Sheldon remarks that Zack must be very skilled at coitus.
For a finale, they’ve stuck with their meat and potatoes – weird science and twisted relationships. Leonard knew the trouble he’d get into dating the neighbor. You come up with a new way home to avoid her house if you break up. He can’t even avoid seeing her parade of rebound dates. But at least he has the comfort of his geek techno tricks to distract him from staring through the peephole at her door.
The guys return to the apartment. Raj realizes Leonard needs to get some rebound hook up. “You need to get back up on the whore,” he says. The guys correct their Indian friend that it’s horse, not whore. Raj finds that concept very displeasing. He does think Leonard can find a date through an online service. Turns out Howard has been using them lately and sometimes the computer dates stay after they spot him in a public space. Raj ponders signing up Sheldon to see if the date site can really work miracles. He mentions that they found a woman for Frankenstein’s monsters. When he’s reminded that Dr. Frankenstein built the Bride, he declares that will be Plan B.
In the middle of the night, a drunk Penny knocks on the door and wakes up Leonard. She’s upset since he’s destroyed her ability to tolerate idiots. Her date really thought they were going to blow up the moon. She grabs Leonard’s hands cause she needs to get laid. She warns Sheldon to put on his noise canceling headphones.
Sheldon pours orange juice and complains that it isn’t low pulp. He catches Penny doing her walk of shame through the living room. He tells her the noise canceling phones didn’t work and he heard her saying Yee-Haw. She continues her journey home.
Leonard arrives at Penny’s door as she’s leaving for work. He wonders if they can catch a movie tonight. She admits it was a mistake. She blames it on the booze and loneliness. He can’t forget the rodeo thing. He’s pissed off that she used him for sex. A neighbor woman opens her door and mentions, “Yee Haw.” It was a loud night.
You can’t go home and you can’t hook up with an ex-lover on a casual basis. It just emotionally doesn’t work that way. It can be fun to get a little nostalgia nookie, it comes with a price. Mostly the price of being driven nuts wondering what it means. Do they want to get back together? Should you ask about getting back together? While we won’t date, can we schedule break up booty calls in advance?
Raj is shocked that a dating site matched a woman to Sheldon. Howard fakes an email from Sheldon to the potential date.
Leonard decides to have a quickie with Dr. Leslie Winkle. He asks her if she wants to have sex for fun that doesn’t mean anything. She wants to think about it. She slams the door shut. He pauses and realizes she’s not coming back.
What a harsh truth to inflict on a scientist.
Raj panics when the dating girl wants to meet Sheldon. Howard asks Sheldon what he’s doing and we’re introduced to the concept of prevening. The time before evening has a name. Howard mentions the computer date girl. Sheldon doesn’t believe a computer could match him. He won’t meet her. Raj points out that even Spock had a date every seven years. Howard puts up a logic fight, but loses the will to battle. Raj confesses he hid an abandoned sock found on the roof somewhere in the apartment. If he doesn’t go on the date, it’ll be there forever. Sheldon cracks.
Leonard drinks a bottle of booze, tosses it down the elevator shaft and knocks on Penny‘s door. He tells her he’s going to have sex with her and it won’ t mean a thing. Penny pushes him back into the lobby. He realizes there’s a double standard in booty calls.
Booty calls are easier for a woman to make. It’s been proven by studies at Glick University. Being drunk is a major turn off that reduces already slim chances to nearly zero. Leonard had a better chance of winning the lottery than scoring with Penny. He should have taken Raj’s real advice and gone to Dennis Hof’s Bunny Ranch. They could have had a Big Bang Theory – Cathouse crossover. Leonard vs. Air Force Amy would win an Emmy and AVN.
Sheldon, Raj and Howard wander into a coffee shop. Sheldon asks them to select a rejection when this proves to be wrong. Amy Fowler (Mayim Bialik) walks up to Sheldon and lays down the rules. She is there because her mother made agreed to date once a year. She has taken coitus off the table. He’s there because of the dirty sock. She also hates soiled hosiery. Instead of blowing her off, he offers to buy her a beverage. She wants tepid water. Howard is stunned. What have they done?
Why must we wait all summer and remember to tune in on a Thursday to find out what happens when Sheldon hooks up with Blossom? She does seem a better fit for him than the frisky Dr. Plimpton. Also helps that Bialik is a real science geek. She has a PhD from UCLA. It is interesting that what has sparked her primetime comeback is appearing on TLC’s What Not To Wear. Good fashion sense can help your career. The only real unanswered question for this fall is will the Emmy folks finally give the love to the show and Jim Parsons?
