I’m a day late and a dollar short, but here’s 10 Thoughts on what I deem the worst storylines I’ve ever watched on television or caught via YouTube. Word of warning, some of you might have enjoyed them or there may be worse ones that I didn’t mention.
This Week: 10 Thoughts on the Worst Storylines in Wrestling (in no particular order)
1. From TNA: Abyss & the Hall of Fame Ring – Hulk Hogan gives Abyss his Hall of Fame Ring and explains how it has magical powers. Why is it stupid? Because we’re supposed to think that one ring makes someone superhuman. Abyss is a monster by the “wrestling technical definition”, therefore he should be able to do what he did during the angle without some sort of ring. It became more ridiculous because Ric Flair wanted the ring. Moving on before this turns out to be ugly.
2. From WWE: Triple H screws “Katie Vick” – This was when the WWE stupidly unified the Intercontinental Title with the World Heavyweight Championship. Triple H compared Kane to a psychopath and he proceeded to put on Kane’s mask, go to a church, and screwed a mannequin. I don’t need to compare the details, but let’s just say…it puts the next thought to shame.
3. From WWE: Mae Young births a hand – Yeah folks…remember when Mark Henry was somewhat less important? No explanation necessary.
4. From TNA: Jeff Jarrett “welcomes” Hulk Hogan into TNA Part One – This was back when it was rumored the first time Hogan was coming to TNA. Jeff Jarrett, the company man that he is, brings TNA to Hogan while he was in Japan and it resulted in Hogan being bloodied. Why was this stupid? Because there was no payoff. Hogan bailed on TNA last minute due to an “injury” and was found back in the WWE for his feud with Shawn Michaels.
5. From WWE/WCW/ECW: The entire Invasion Storyline – Obviously, when the WCW representation included Booker T, DDP, Steve Austin, Kanyon, Kurt Angle and a few other “enhancement talent” and your ECW representation included the Dudleys, Rob Van Dam, and other similar “enhancement talent”, you knew the Invasion angle was going to suck. Where was Sting, Ric Flair, Eric Bischoff, Goldberg…and so on so forth. At least the Invasion angle left us with another bad storyline.
6. From WWE/WCW: That Damn Stalker, Diamond Dallas Page – Did anyone find it creepy that DDP was stalking Undertaker’s wife, Sara (at the time)? It wouldn’t be so bad had the actors and actresses played their parts. The payoff for this angle was DDP being squashed…literally.
7. From WWE: The Undertaker buries Paul Bearer in “cement” – When I’m obviously using quotations, you know it’s a bad angle. Supposedly the stipulation was that Undertaker had to beat the Dudley Boys in a handicap match. So, the Dudleys got squashed…and Undertaker buried Bearer anyways. It might have been effective to write Bearer out of the script…but a freaking 12 year old could come up with something better than THAT.
8. From WWE: The Matt Hardy/Edge/Lita love triangle – I’ll admit that I liked the “shoot aspect” of the three way feud with Edge and Matt Hardy. Basically, Lita cheats on Matt Hardy in real life with Edge and Matt Hardy gets fired for letting his emotions get the best of him. The shoot worked itself into a feud, to which Edge won deceisively. Why was it bad? Because in WWE terminology: Edge > Matt, period. Had the company actually gave Matt Hardy a decent chance and made this into a hot angle (like they are NOW with Matt and Drew McIntyre), then it would have been better for everyone.
9. From WCW: The nWo Reunites in 1998 – First you had Goldberg’s long winning streak ending with Scott Hall tasering him and Kevin Nash picking up the World Title. Secondly, the nWo officially came back when Nash lost the title via the “Fingerpoke of Doom” by Con-Artist Hulk Hogan. The world was probably ready for Goldberg’s streak to end, but it should had ended with a better opponent and a better quality match. However, the “Fingerpoke of Doom” was clearly Hogan’s handy work and it put WCW closer to its deathbed.
10. From WCW: David Arquette: World Champion – While we’re at it, I want to see Jay Leno hold half of the WCW Tag Team Titles. Hell, John Cena should have lost the WWE Title to Keven Federline. This was the move that killed WCW. You can’t truly blame Vince Russo for this as it was Tony Schivone’s idea. But, you can blame Vince Russo for actually acting on said idea. Sure, it got the world buzzing, but no one was watching. To be fair, though…WCW practically was on its death bed the night they spoiled that Mick Foley was going to win the WWF Title.
What are your thoughts on the worst storylines you’ve seen? Voice your opinions in the comments or comment on the ones I mentioned. Â Next week, I will have 10 Thoughts on some column on Pulse Wrestling. Â That’s right…next week Pulse Wrestling is on notice as I’ll give thoughts out on one column from between now and next week. Â Have a great rest of the week!