I’ve been reading comics for years. I’m an avid collector and I’ve amassed quite an adequate collection. Like, my collection is literally dripping in adequacity.
And in my years of collecting comics I’ve become certain of three things; Superman will always be from Krypton, Batman will always be an orphan and Sinestro and Hal Jordan clearly have a romantic past.
Now I’m sure for most of you the first two statements are probably no brainers with their obviousness. I can also feel most of you reading this shrugging off my third statement as typical fanboy obsessive nature, but hear me out.
There was a time when I believed that Sinestro and Hal Jordan had a healthy platonic relationship that was soured by Sinestro’s quest for power (or order, depending on which era he’s being written in.) And that’s all fine and dandy, but I think there’s a deeper truth buried beneath that’s cleverly hidden in layers of subtext.
The Earth/Korugar Connection
There seems to be some sort of romantic connection between the Green Lanterns from Earth and the Green Lanterns from Korugar, and it’s a connection that the writers seem to both be hinting at developing.
First we had John Stewart and Katma Tui. Katma Tui was Sinestro’s successor and went to Earth to train Hal Jordan’s successor, John Stewart. John and Katma fell in love and eventually married. They lived happily ever after. At least until she was killed by Star Sapphire.
Most recently we had Kyle Rayner and Soranik Natu begin a coupling, despite an official decree from the Guardians of the Universe that Green Lanterns not engage in anything which could result in cooties. While their relationship is still blossoming, it’s been hinted that they are destined to be each other’s true love.
So Soranik succeeded Katma who succeeded Sinestro, while Kyle succeeded John who succeeded Hal. Given those couplings it almost makes a Sinestro/Hal Jordan pairing seem natural, right?
Korugarian Love Machines
Ok, I sill feel some skeptics. Some of you might be thinking “but Hal’s a red blooded American male, who’s not gay, why would he hook up with Sinestro?”
Well, maybe it’s because Korugarian men are known for their prowess in the area of, ahem, relationships. Don’t believe me, ask the Guardians of the Universe. You see when the Zamarons split from the Guardians all those many eons ago, the Zamarons began shacking up with the Korugarians.
I mean, can you wrap your head around that? This race of alien amazons left the men they’d been with for thousands of years to hook up with the Korugarians. Clearly the Korugarians must have been offering up something the Guardians of the Unverse couldn’t provide. We’re talking about an intergalactic cuckolding here.
Now if an immortal race of women could fall under the sway of Korugarian males, what chance would Hal Jordan have, no matter how strong willed he is. Let’s be honest, Hal’s always had a weakness for the flesh. He’s the same guy who quit the Green Lantern Corps to be with Carol Ferris.
The Passion of Fights
Sinestro and Hal Jordan have faced off against each other numerous times over the years. And each fight seems almost worst than the one before it. But what if the hidden emotion behind these tiffs is heartbreak? Suppose that Sinestro is a spurned lover and he wants to get his revenge on Hal for something as trivial as infidelity. Or maybe originating incident is inconsequential and has just grown into something passion filled. Perhaps only Sinestro and Hal know the origins of their feud.
Sure this a cockamamie theory, and would be a huge retcon But is it any different than having multi-hued Corps? Is it more outlandish than making The Black Hand obsessed with death or making Hal a drunk driver? All of these retcons happened at various points in the GL mythos and are all accepted as canon.
I’m just saying that a Sinestro/Hal Jordan is a coupling could be interesting and has the potential to be huge. And that I’m as sure that it happened as I am that Tarzan engaged in some sexual experimentation with apes.
C’mon people, he was raised by apes, he totally banged one.
Next Week’s Column: My Pitch for Marvel; Astounding NFL Superpro
