Ladies and gentlemen, Washington sports has a powerplay that would shame the Capitals (actually, now that I think about it, most powerplays shame the Capitals). I’m refering of course to the face-off that is currently brewing between filthy rich DT Albert Haynesworth and new Redskins Coach/Enforcer Mike Shanahan.
The root of the problem is really quite simple: Shanahan expects Haynesworth to play nose tackle in the Skins’ new 3-4 defense, and Haynesworth seems to think that the Redskins gave him a 120 million dollar deal to play the way he wants. Basically, Haynesworth boycotted the 3-4 transition as much as he could, skipping every offseason workout and showing up in less than ideal shape.
And Shanahan is not pleased with his star DT. That’s why the coach is making Haynesworth take a conditioning test consisting of three full field sprints; a test that Haynesworth failed yesterday. As a result, Shanahan ordered Haynesworth to spend extra time on the treadmill, as he will have to do for each day he does not complete the conditioning test. In addition, Haynesworth will not be practicing with the first team until he proves he is properly conditioned.
Shanahan has justified his actions to the press, saying that he doesn’t want to put an unfit Haynesworth on the practice field and leave him vulnerable to injuries. I don’t believe that excuse. My thought is this: Shanahan is angry that Haynesworth skipped workouts to continue his stupid boycott, so now he’s making him pay.
And honestly, I don’t have a problem with that. It’s not unreasonable for Shanahan to expect his players, particularly a richly paid star such as Haynesworth, to show up to camp in the expected shape. Conditioning is critical to team success and absolutely should not be optional. Furthermore, slacking off because of an unwillingness to play the new 3-4 is even more egregious.
Now, to be fair for a moment, I would like to address the argument that Haynesworth did not sign with Washington to play nose tackle. That is a valid point, as the shift to the 3-4 was unexpected and swift. But the fact is that if Haynesworth wants to collect his massive paycheck, and something tells me he does, than he should do what his team orders. They are his employers, and as long as he is a Redskin, he plays by their rules.
The 3-4 shift is no doubt highly affecting for other players. Consider the defensive ends who must adjust from quick pass rushing to forceful bull rushing. Consider the linebackers who will be playing with new positioning, new roles and a new playbook. Shifting to the 3-4 is not supposed to be easy for a front seven. But despite this, I’ve only heard Haynesworth complaining publicly. Am I the only one who sees the problem here?
If you read my article on Brett Favre last week, you know that I condemn athletes who subvert their coaches’ authority and act like they are bigger than the team. Thus, I consider Haynesworth’s behavior entitled and inappropriate, and I support Shanahan for cracking down on him. For starters, it appears to be working: Haynesworth has gone from refusing to play nose tackle to accepting that it is now what he is paid to do. And it would not have happened if Shanahan had backed down like some coaches may have (ahem Brad Childress ahem). He is the head coach, the Redskins are his team, and all of them have to follow his rules. If Haynesworth isn’t cool with that, he can take a lot less money to play somewhere else. It’s as simple as that.
Speaking of subversive athletes who act out: Terrell Owens. The granddaddy headache-inducing maniac has signed with the Bengals, who lately seem unable to avoid signing headache-inducing maniacs, including notorious pouter Larry Johnson, seismic underachiever Cedric Benson and proven trouble chasing whacko Adam Jones. Oh, do I even have to mention Chad Johnson (I refuse to call him Ochocinco), the face of team chatterbox-psycho-maniac?
Now, the Bengals are not always wrong with their apparently idiotic acquisitions. Benson defied the odds to have a terrific season in 2009, and Johnson, for all of his faults, is one of the better receivers of the past decade. So before I rip Cincinnati’s brain-dead front office, I would like to acknowledge those two success stories.
But signing Owens seems absolutely crazy. To begin, he’s a team wrecker who destroyed his relationship with the 49ers and Eagles and couldn’t convince the Cowboys to re-sign him even though he was the top receiver they appeared to be lacking (tangent: this is when all Cowboys fans say thanks for the emergence of Miles Austin. It’s always rewarding for a team when they discover they don’t need Owens to have a potent passing attack. It’s like realizing you don’t need alcohol to make it through the day.) This guy is not exactly a hot commodity.
And honestly, from a football perspective, this is a savvy move. Owens is old and his skills have diminished, but even though he couldn’t manage 900 yards for the anemic Buffalo Bills he may have another year or two of solid play in him.
For starters, he won’t be the top receiver on the Bengals, meaning he’ll have an easier job getting open. Secondly, he is playing for a decent quarterback in Carson Palmer, who signed off on the Owens acquisition (thank goodness). Third, Owens is a gym rat who is famous for his superior conditioning and physique. Now I’ve never played in the NFL, but I assume that the older you get the more helpful it is to be in fantastic shape, as Owens likely is. Fourth, he is no longer playing for the Bills. I’m not high on the Bengals, but they are certainly not the sinkhole that is the Buffalo Bills.
Considering all of this, there is reason to believe that Owens is not done. And if he isn’t, he will certainly be a solid weapon opposite Johnson. He is big, strong and tough, allowing him to make catches over the middle, in traffic and in the redzone. That is an asset to any team, particularly for the Bengals, who showed absolutely no ability to throw over the middle, in traffic or in the redzone in their humiliating playoff loss to the Darrell Revises. A healthy, happy, not washed up Owens can be a critical asset to the Bengals. So that’s saying something.
Of course, there’s no guarantee that Owens won’t be washed up, and there’s certainly no guarantee that he’ll stay happy for sixteen games. Let’s face it, the guy will be more mercurial than, well, mercury. If the Bengals lose (something they have excelled at in recent years), Owens may blow up like a time bomb. And nothing destroys a team like time bomb mode Terrell Owens. We all saw that in Philly, and you could argue that his grumbling about the Tony Romo-Jason Witten bromance was a damaging factor in Dallas. So, that is a major risk.
Also, we know that Owens can damage a team filled with normal, professional guys, such as the Eagles. Now that he has an equally crazy guy to hang out with? Horror. I would believe any of the following Johnson-Owens headlines (note: for the sake of accuracy, I will use the moniker Ochocinco for the next few sentences):
“Ocho and T.O. Room Together, Trash Executive Suite”
“Ocho and T.O. Steal Team Playbook, Blame Carson Palmer”
“Ocho and T.O. Watch Each Others’ Reality Shows During Film Study”
“Ocho and T.O. Race Sled Dogs on Heinz Field, Get Tackled By James Harrison”
Basically, I’m arguing that if you thought T.O. was a crazy attention seeker before, he is going to be twice as bad next year now that he has Johnson to push his limits. And if you don’t think those two can completely ruin the already shaky Bengals (remember how they started 7-1 and finished 3-5? Grisly stretch run for those guys) then you do not have the trainwreck radar I do.
And if it works out, wonderful. But the Bengals are once again playing with fire. And you can only be burned so many times before people stop feeling sorry for you. We wouldn’t want the fans to lose interest, would we? Because then, Ocho and T.O. will be more entertaining than the team itself. And when that happens, we’re all doomed.
