What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – January 8, 1994

WWF Superstars

-WWF President Jack Tunney announces that Lex Luger will be allowed to compete in the Royal Rumble. In order to appease Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, Tenryu and the Great Kabuki will also be also be given spots in the match.

-Vince McMahon and Stan Lane are in the booth for today’s show.

-Opening Handicap Contest: Yokozuna (WWF Champion w/Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji) vs. Scott Taylor & Bert Centeno:

Mr. Fuji appears in the split screen and says that Crush, Tenryu, and the Great Kabuki will prevent Luger from winning the Royal Rumble. Taylor and Centeno give Yokozuna a double dropkick but Yokozuna backs away when they try another. This handicap match must be under texas tornado rules because Taylor and Centeno remain in the ring throughout. After running through most of his arsenal, Yokozuna slams Centeno on top of Taylor in the corner and Banzai Drops them both for the win at 3:01. After the match, the lights in the arena go out and the Undertaker and Paul Bearer appear on the big screen (think of it as a poor man’s Titantron, but back then they referred to it as ‘the big screen’). The Undertaker is working on the casket he’s going to bring to the Royal Rumble and Yokozuna goes a great job looking frightened.

-“Double J” Jeff Jarrett vs. Rich Myers:

It took the WWF more than year to make Jarrett’s ring attire fit his gimmick. Throughout 1994 his entrance attire consisted of a headband and a colorful ring jacket but none of these things showed that he was a country music star. Jarrett dominates Myers until a blind charge eats buckle but Myers is confused about what to do on offense and when he makes up his mind he misses a dropkick. Jarrett quickly covers and gets the pin at 2:15. That might be the weakest squash match finish I’ve ever seen. After the match, Jarrett comes off the ropes and DDT’s Myers. Why didn’t that end the match?

-Jim Ross in the Live Events Center talks about the January 17th Madison Square Garden show. Crush and Randy Savage cut promos against each other.

-Bret “the Hitman” Hart (w/Owen Hart) vs. Mike Bell:

Our honorary ring announcer is Chris McKenna and he basks in the moment before performing his duties. Owen and Bret hand their shades out to fans at ringside and when the match starts Bell gets a couple of near falls from a headlock sequence. Bell delivers a clothesline and pounds away but Bret quickly comes back with an elbow off the ropes. Owen and Bret appear in the split screen and say that everyone at home is looking at the next WWF Tag Team Champions. Bret delivers a suplex, his second rope elbow drop, and locks in a Sharpshooter for the submission win at 2:05. I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but if you have a submission hold what does it hurt to at least damage a body part before finishing the match with that hold?

-Ray Rougeau interviews WWF Tag Team Champions the Quebecers and Johnny Polo. Polo calls Luger a coward and Rougeau chastises Pierre for talking in French. In a nice touch, Jacques looks at his brother when he says that brothers don’t always get along and says that they will show Bret and Owen what brotherly love is all about at the Royal Rumble. This was a good, short interview that effectively put over the Rumble tag team match.

-Non-Title Match: “The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon (Intercontinental Champion) vs. Chris Duffy:

Ramon unloads and clotheslines Duffy over the top rope. Back in, Duffy goes to the eyes but Ramon just tosses him out of the ring. Back in, Ramon paintbrushes Duffy as IRS appears in the split screen and refutes Ramon’s claim that he stole his gold chains. A chokeslam and Razor’s Edge end things at 2:38. This was a good squash by Ramon standards.

-Kwang displays his martial arts skills in his latest vignette. Maybe Kwang would’ve gotten over if the WWF signed Chuck Norris to a short term contract and had him job to Kwang in every arena around the country.

-Todd Pettengill gives us the Royal Rumble report.

-Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon) vs. Brian Walsh:

Bigelow has fun throwing Walsh around the ring but tires of that and puts him in a chinlock. Bigelow and Luna talk about the Royal Rumble in the split screen. A blind charge eats buckle, but Walsh’s attempt at a victory roll fails when Bigelow falls on his back. A flying headbutt gets the pin at 2:17. This was a good match because of Walsh bumping like a madman. After the match, Doink and Dink come to ringside and trip Bigelow. Bigelow and Luna slip on some marbles when they try to extract some revenge and we cut away before any more ridiculousness hits the screen. I’m surprised they haven’t tried to resurrect the Doink character in today’s PG environment.

-Ross hypes the Madison Square Garden card again. Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji and Tatanka cut promos for the WWF title match on the card.

-Tune in next week to see Lex Luger square off against Bastion Booger! Also, the Undertaker and Tatanka are in action and the Undertaker will show off the double wide casket he’s been making for the last couple of weeks.

The Final Report Card: Overall, a good show that built up all of the storylines heading into the Royal Rumble. I thought the Yokozuna handicap match would be more fun, but the last three squashes made up for it. Since there wasn’t a feature match on today’s show I’ll default to my pass/fail grading system.

Show Grade: Passing

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