You know what I love about The Amazing Race? You know, besides the exotic locales, hilarious challenges and the fact that I get to watch people crack under high-pressure situations from the comfort of my own home? I love the hilarious nicknames the teams give one another. And there are two TV-themed nicknames this season – we’ve got a Team Glee and Team Gilmore Girls. Before we dive into the recap, let’s discuss the competitors.
Andie & Jenna: Also known as “Team Gilmore Girls“. Andie and Jenna are a birth mother and daughter who’ve only just met. This seems like a very tense environment for getting to know one another, and I’m expecting some awkward moments.
Brook & Claire: Also known as “Team Home Shopping”. Brook talks/screeches so much that I kind of wish she’d been the one to take a watermelon to the face, but alas that was her teammate Claire. They seem too prissy to go far, and it wouldn’t surprise me if at some point Claire tries to shove a clue down Brook’s throat.
Chad & Stephanie: There are three “dating” couples this season, and all three of the women on the teams are hair stylists. So there will be no excuse for bedhead, folks. Chad is a hothead, Stephanie has already been nicknamed “Tinkerbell” by the other teams. They’ve been together eight months and recently purchased a house together, so we know they’re low on decision-making skills.
Connor & Jonathan: “Team Glee“!! These A Cappella singing Princeton nerds are kinda adorable, but they seem to think that singing in cabs will put them in good favor with their cab drivers. Maybe if they break out “Don’t Stop Believin'” rather than the crap they were singing last night. Still, they’re pretty likable – one dude is the spitting image of Harry Potter!
Gary & Mallory: Little Miss Sunshine and her dad could end up being pretty great. I like father/daughter teams, and Mallory has a tendency to screech everything in a slightly less annoying manner than Brook.
Jill & Thomas: Team Dating #2. They won the first leg and received an interesting prize (more on that later). He brags about having attended Notre Dame in a condescending way and said “At least they speak English there” when the teams found out they’d be going to England. Not a great attitude to kick off the race with.
Katie & Rachel: Team Volleyball is my early pick to win. They’re young, fit, and didn’t come across like idiots. They’re teammates, so they have to get along in high-pressure situations. And I am dying for an all-girl team to finally win this thing.
Michael & Kevin: I don’t know about these guys. Apparently they’re YouTube stars, but I’m afraid to watch their videos in case I feel like Kevin is taking advantage/making fun of his dad. They don’t seem like they’ll fight much though, so they could go far.
Nat & Kat: My back-up team to win. I’m a little worried that one member of this team is a diabetic with an insulin pump. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know much about diabetes, but is that safe?
Nick & Vicki: Team Dating #3. They’re this season’s “Team Stupid”. Every season has to have one. Some seasons have two. This time, it’s the tattooed, pierced, and incredibly dense duo.
Ron & Tony: They would have been nicknamed “Team Wiz” and I was considering them as my non-female pick to win. Oops…
From the City of Boston to the Country of London
Phil Keoghan kicked off the race in Massachusetts and announced a couple of interesting twists for the teams. The first twist was that all the teams would be heading to London, England but there was only room for three teams on a flight that would arrive half an hour earlier than the second flight. Score one for The Amazing Race – I love when the first few teams get rewarded in some way during a leg. The second twist was really great – the team who won the first leg of the race would receive a new “Express Pass”. The Express Pass is something the team can use at any time to skip a challenge. Brilliant! Score two for The Amazing Race. Let’s just throw this out there right now – the Express Pass kick’s Survivor‘s Medallion of Power’s butt, and is a lot better than most other twists TAR has introduced over the years. I love it. A reward, won on merit, that can be used if the team holding it far fall behind or realizes that skipping a very difficult challenge could give them a huge lead. Brilliant.
The three teams to get on the first flight and score a half-hour lead were Ron & Tony (Team Wiz), Jill & Thomas and Chad & Stephanie. I guess hot head boyfriends and hairstylist girlfriends are good at finding airports, anyway.
The teams all arrived in England and were sent off to Stonehenge for their next clue. The thing about England is that while it’s great that everyone speaks English, they drive on the other side of the road and that can be hard when navigating. I spent a month in Cape Town, where they also drive on the left side of the road, and even crossing the street had the potential to be dangerous when you don’t know where to look. Team Wiz lost their lead almost instantly, and spent the remainder of the hour and a half long episode in the car. Seriously. They were in the car the whole time.
As if driving on the left side of the road wasn’t hard enough, half the teams had no idea how to drive a stick shift either. Seriously people, when are you going to learn? DON’T GO ON THE AMAZING RACE WITHOUT LEARNING TO DRIVE A STICK!!! Didn’t they read my blog last season? I could have saved them a lot of trouble and embarrassment! My god, I’m not even eligible to apply for The Amazing Race, and I still include “Can you drive a stick shift?” in my list of questions when screening potential/hypothetical partners. (FYI, should Canadians ever be allowed to participate, I’ve pretty much selected Boyfriend as the TAR partner. He can swim well and drive a stick, two skills I do not possess. But I’m still accepting applications.)
Storm Troopers
At Stonehenge teams scurried around asking locals for help with the clue “What’s the opposite of Nor’Easter?”. My mother and I arrogantly yelled “Sou’Wester, you fools” at the teams until we found out that the next location was actually the Eastnor castle. Oh.
The next challenge, “Storm the Castle” required teams to climb up ladders along the side of a castle while angry villagers poured buckets “water” (sludge from the local duck pond) on them. Next they had to balance in a “boat” (a human-sized walnut shell from the set of a Thumbalina musical) and pull themselves across a lake without capsizing. Once teams crossed the river they arrived at a medieval battleground where they had to knock over a suit of armor using a watermelon and a slingshot. You know, like they did back in the day.
I loved this challenge for a few reasons. I love challenges that give the TAR producers a chance to hire a few colorful locals as extras. This episode had two stand-outs – the redheaded villager they kept showing close-ups of, and the hilarious court jester who juggled while balancing on a ball. He juggled a few pins and said “Now you see them, now you don’t” and then threw them behind his back. I could totally still see them. It was fantastic. The other reason I loved this challenge was that anyone could excel at it. Case in point: One of the Glee kids totally rocked it. So did the docs. Jill & Thomas sped through the challenge and arrived on the mat first, winning the coveted Express Pass, and were followed by Nat & Kat in second place.
One heck of a hit
Alas, every rose has its thorn and the thorn in the side of this challenge was that it was actually quite dangerous. I cannot do this incident justice with words. You need to watch it. If you’ve already seen it, you probably need to watch it again.
Talk about “right in the kisser!” I don’t know what’s worse – the frequency with which Brook speaks, or the fact that Claire did not appear to receive medical attention from anyone who was not dressed as a court jester. If I had a watermelon smash on my face, I’d want to see a doctor. Kudos to Claire though, because she knocked that sucker down on her second try after The Incident. The Glee boys surpassed them for third place, but they came in a respectable fourth place, followed by the Volleyball girls in fifth.
The rest: Lost, Stuck, and just plain Dumb
Next to complete the challenges were Gary and Mallory and Michael and Kevin, respectively landing in sixth and seventh place. Poor Michael and Kevin, they could have had a bigger lead but just could not figure out how to balance themselves in their walnut shell boat. I’ve got to say though, when they finally did manage to cross the lake Kevin laid the praise on pretty thick. He whispered something along the lines of “I’m so proud of you, Dad” EVERY TWO SECONDS. Seriously kid, the man sat in a boat without falling over, he did not win a Nobel prize. Chill.
The final three spots in the race were up for grabs among the three most pathetic teams. We had Chad and Stephanie, who completed the watermelon challenge but could not find the pit stop. We had Team Gilmore Girls, who stalled their car so much I was worried the citizens of England would go all medieval villager on them and send them back to America. We had Nick and Vicki, who could not find anything. And we had Ron and Tony, who seemed to have traveled through the Chunnel to France and back, because they had not gotten out of their car in ages.
Finally, Chad and Stephanie found the pit stop and scored eighth place. Next the younger Gilmore Girl Jenna rocked the watermelon challenge, landing her and her mom in ninth place.
I liked Team Wiz, and I hoped they weren’t so far off the mark that they couldn’t catch up. And Nick & Vicki gave them plenty of opportunities. After storming the castle they took forever to solve a clue that no one else had a problem with – take a flag from a battlement. It meant take one of the several giant flags that were surrounding them. Instead, they wandered around asking villagers “Are you a battlement?” Finally, they grabbed the flag and moved on to the lake. Where they couldn’t find their boats. For a minute there I actually thought they might try to swim across the lake in search of a boat, Finally they realized that the Thumbalina walnut shells were boats and made their way through the rest of the leg to land in tenth place. I don’t see this team going too far.
If only they’d had a yellow brick road to follow
Finally, Team Wiz arrived at the challenge, long after everyone else had finished. We didn’t even get to see them launch the watermelons, although we were allowed the pleasure of watching one tiny man and one large man try to balance in that tiny boat.
I’ve got high hopes for this season of The Amazing Race. The extra-long premiere worked and has successfully left me wanting more. We’ve got some quirky players, a fun new twist and the added bonus of seeing the teams travel to a stressful location – Ghana – next week. I love it when teams travel to the third world because it’s such a relationship tester. Who do you think will be out next? The tattooed twits? The Gilmore Girls? One of the blonde hairstylists and her rageaholic boyfriend? Sound off below!
