And to think, I nearly forgot that Green Day does the intro for Smackdown now. Way to start the show on a sour note.
Kane has a message for Taker tonight. And I guess Michael Cole is joining in on the announcing fun. Wonderful. And out comes Teddy Long. He joyfully introduces Edge, who is miraculously over again. The heel thing was working so well for him, too. Oh well.
Next out is Swagger, with his mascot, and a mic. Swagger is a man with a lot to say, but no good way of saying it. Stop letting him speak. Snappy word play, and we begin!
Swagger in control from the start, flaunting his amateur style with some moves that sound a lot more impressive than they are. Eagle gets speared by Edge, and we go to…
Commercial.
Swagger begins working on Edge’s left arm, and stays there even after a failed pinfall. Edge starts building momentum, but only for a moment. Swagger corners Edge, Edge counters, hits a DDT on Swagger. Offense laid down by Swagger, Edge slides out of the ring, counters, sets up for a Spear…a bunch of reversals and attempted pinfalls, but the match continues. Edge finally hits a Spear, for the win.
Grade: C+
Not a bad match at all. There was a lot of back and forth, subtle shifts, and an impressive finish. Edge made Swagger look better than he has in months.
Edge grabs a mic for a concise follow-up, and exits.
From there, we’re shown Rey’s attack on Alberto from last week.
Commercial.
Dashing Grooming Tips. This week…gross teeth. I sure do love these segments, but I don’t think I really need to recap them for you all.
LayCool’s music starts up. We’ll get to see Layla in action, as Michelle sports a shirt that says “Flawless Dynastyâ€. And…now it’s Kelly Kelly’s turn, as she enters with Natalya.
Bell rings, and off we go. Layla in control early, as Kelly is already flailing around. Kelly misses wildly with a clothesline that Layla sells anyway. Counter from Layla, hits the Lay Out, and it’s over.
Grade: D-
Honestly, I can’t believe Kelly Kelly is still allowed to wrestle. Tonight was a perfect example of why no one cares about the Divas. Even Layla looked sloppy tonight.
Commercial.
Big Show enters, sprinting to the ring and flinging his limbs around. It sounds like we’re in for some standup comedy and shameless plugs. And wow, he’s apparently the captain for Smackdown’s team at Bragging Rights. He introduces Hornswoggle as the official mascot…they’re not giving Smackdown a shot in hell, are they.
Dudebusters make their entrance, with Smackdown shirts on. I know you all can’t tell, but I’m rolling my eyes. It’s like they’ve put everything terrible about Smackdown into one ring. Wait…Kelly Kelly already left…
Yet ANOTHER recap of the original attack on Mysterio by del Rio.
Commercial.
A quick plug for the new WWE Magazine with The Undertaker, which is a good one, by the way.
Dashintyre make their way out with their Souvenir Penny Belts…no joint song yet. Kaval’s incredibly catchy music starts up and he waltzes out, followed by Kofi Kingston…wow. This may be a pretty good match. Let me knock on wood before it starts…
Cody and Kofi start off. Quick tags already, and McIntyre is in. Some swift back and forth, but Drew takes control. Another tag for Dashintyre. Kofi gets a tag, and Kaval goes nuts. Mayhem ensues, ring gets cleared, but Cody hits the CrossRhodes, and it’s over.
Grade: C
Should have been longer. I wish the tag teams weren’t dying. But Kaval was insane, I’m consistently impressed by him, despite his definite losing streak.
Commercial.
Come back to Bearer in the ring. He introduces Kane in a way only he knows how, and the Big Red Machine slinks out. Music that is only found on CDs sold at Walgreens in October tears through the arena during Kane’s speech. Not sure if it’s the new spiffy lighting arrangement or the promo itself, but it reignited my interest in the whole situation.
More Alberto recaps.
Commercial.
Come back, and another Intercontinental Championship is up. That title gets defended almost as much as the Arizona border. Dolph’s turn, and here we go.
MVP quickly in control, wearing Dolph down. Dolph takes over, distracting the ref for Vickie to strike, but she doesn’t. A spat ensues, as Vickie ignores Dolph, and then exits. Ref keeps counting, but MVP lays a baseball slide on Dolph before a…
Commercial.
Come back to both men in the ring, Dolph applying a submission on MVP. Ziggler works on MVP, who is gaining his own momentum, but Dolph gets the Sleeper locked in. MVP breaks it, rolls up Dolph, for two. Dolph getting frustrated, MVP getting fired up as he shoots Dolph like a slam dunk, for two. Both men throwing everything short of their finishers, to no avail.
In a strange turn, Kaitlyn appears. MVP goes for Ballin’, but Kaitlyn stops him. Zig Zag, and it’s over.
Grade: C-
Both men looked really lazy tonight, and the match lagged. I didn’t see the normal flair from Ziggler, and Kaitlyn’s appearance couldn’t save this match. Stop giving away title matches!
Kaitlyn runs to Dolph’s side after the bell rings, and they hug excitedly. But Vickie comes out and stares the two down.
Commercial.
Raw Rebound, and then we cut to Josh interviewing Alberto. I accidently tuned out what he was saying, and don’t feel like rewinding.
Commercial.
Alberto enters. Rey enters. Here we go.
Alberto pounces immediately. Some miscommunication seems to take place, and Alberto is launched out of the ring. Drop toe hold from Rey to Alberto onto the steel steps, and then he’s driven in to the ring post. Alberto is bleeding from the mouth, as the fight continues outside the ring. Mysterio goes to the top rope, crossbody delivered!
Commercial.
Fight still heated, Mysterio busts out his serious face. Alberto hasn’t landed a single shot since the bell rang, Mysterio again to the top rope, shot down by an insane kick by del Rio who is getting pissed. Momentum slows as the counters are traded, but Rey gets fired up. Boot delivered to del Rio’s face, Rey to the top rope, again grounded by Alberto. A sunset flip that was landed a little too un-PG, into a pin on Alberto, for two. Rey again to the top rope, hurricanrana, 619 position, ring announcer interferes, and Alberto goes for a submission on Rey. Rey fights out, goes for the same line of tricks, this time sending Alberto into his ring announcer, 619, connects, it’s over.
Grade: B+
Since this review started, I don’t think I’ve ever written so much about one match. This was exhilarating from start to finish, and both men looked fresh and rejuvenated. Alberto has never impressed me, until tonight. Â
Credits roll.
Final Grade: C
Not wonderful, not terrible. Let’s hope there will be lots of legit qualifying matches to look forward to, instead of whatever has been showing. But please, can we eliminate the Hornswoggle segments and dedicate that saved time to a Divas match? Michelle McCool is actually pretty watchable, so let’s rebuild that, shall we?
