What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – January 29, 1994

WWF Superstars

-Vince McMahon recaps the Royal Rumble and WWF President Jack Tunney announces that both Bret Hart and Lex Luger will get title shots at WrestleMania X. Tunney says that a coin toss this Monday night on Raw will determine who faces Yokozuna first, with the loser facing suitable competition (in Bret’s case Owen and in Lex’s case Crush) before facing the winner of the first title match later in the evening, and that guest referees will be in both title matches at the pay-per-view. I never understood why Bret or Lex couldn’t defer on the coin toss. If it were me I’d want the last match on the show.

-Vince McMahon and Stan Lane are in the booth for today’s show.

-Opening Contest: Men on a Mission (w/Oscar) vs. Austin & Joey Watson:

Mo and Austin start and Mo bowls over him with a shoulder block. Austin goes to the eyes, but Mo gives him a short-arm clothesline and tags Mabel. Mabel pounds away and slams Austin when he tries a body press off the second rope. Mabel clotheslines Austin over the top rope and Watson makes the tag like an idiot. Mabel destroys Watson and Men on a Mission get the win after a Stacked Big Splash at 3:01. I couldn’t get behind Men on a Mission because of Oscar’s loud rapping style before and after their matches. But the crowd liked them and that’s all that matters.

-Jim Cornette says that Yokozuna fulfilled the prediction he and Mr. Fuji made prior to the Royal Rumble by beating the Undertaker. Cornette says he doesn’t care about the Undertaker’s hocus pocus and that his lawyers are going to keep Bret Hart and Lex Luger from facing Yokozuna at WrestleMania. If Clarence Mason was around at this time period I would’ve believed Cornette on that one.

-Thurman “Sparky” Plugg vs. The Brooklyn Brawler:

This is Bob Holly’s debut under the ridiculous ring name of Thurman “Sparky” Plugg. His tights are also hideous, but that’s not my area of expertise so I’ll shut up. Plugg gets a hiptoss and the Brawler complains about a hair pull. The Brawler briefly pounds away, but Plugg catches him with another hiptoss, a slam, and a dropkick. The Brawler bails and when he comes back in Plugg catches him with a clothesline. Plugg hits a suplex and a top rope splash gets the pin 2:28. This was a good debut for Plugg.

-A video package shows the hard and soft sides of WWF Women’s champion Alundra Blayze.

-Jim Ross reminds us that tickets are still available for WrestleMania X and unconvincingly tells us that he can’t enjoy the Super Bowl because of Owen Hart’s heel turn at the Royal Rumble. Owen says he wants attention and Bret says he feels cheated by Owen’s actions.

-Diesel (w/Shawn Michaels) vs. Tommy Angel:

A local girl butchers the ring announcing duties and Vince and Stan Lane drop a “hooked on phonics” joke to put me in stitches. I feel guilty for laughing about that, but I couldn’t help it because of Vince’s constant shtick about the WWF caring about their fans. Diesel gives Angel a backbreaker and chokes away. A big boot and Snake Eyes follows and that’s all she wrote at 1:30. It’s good that they kept this thing short because I don’t think Diesel had any more moves left.

-The Quebecers say that if the Steiners can beat them in a ten minute match next week that they will earn a title shot.

-Tatanka vs. Austin Steele:

Tatanka and Steele run the ropes a lot to start and Tatanka chops away. Tatanka pinballs Steele between the corners, slams him, and hits a big elbow drop. After taking a backdrop, Steele mounts a comeback ,but Tatanka goes on the warpath after Steele takes him to the buckle. A series of chops follow and the Papoose to Go sends Steele to the showers at 2:32.

-Todd Pettengill provides the WrestleMania X report.

-Earthquake is coming back to the WWF!

-“Double J” Jeff Jarrett vs. Tryone Knox:

Jarrett stalls after Knox maneuvers him into the corner and when Knox quits paying attention he gives him a cheap shot. Jarrett pounds away and hits a nice dropkick. Knox surprises Jarrett with a fluke small package for two, but that victory is short-lived as Jarrett catches him with a clothesline. An elbow drop misses and Knox slams Jarrett for zero. Knox goes for a sunset flip, but Jarrett falls on top of him to block it and holds the ropes to get the pin at 2:23. Now how are the fans supposed to take Jarrett seriously if he has to beat jobbers like that? After the match, Knox complains to the referee about Jarrett’s use of the ropes so Jarrett shuts him up with a DDT. Jeff Jarrett: getting to the top of the country music business by DDT’ing jobbers one show at a time.

-Paul Bearer wheels the double wide casket down to the ring, where it shakes and the Undertaker’s voice comes on over the PA system and proclaims that he will not rest in peace.

-The Headshrinkers (w/Afa) vs. Sid Garrison & Larry McGill:

Just like the 1993 season of Monday Night Raw was littered with Tatanka squashes it looks like the 1994 season of Superstars is going to have lots of Headshrinker squashes. Samu and Garrison start and Samu chops the life out of him and delivers a powerslam. The Headshrinkers give Garrison a nasty looking flapjack and clothesline McGill after he makes the tag. McGill tries to go on the offensive, but when he throws Fatu’s head into the canvas Fatu immediately pops up and Samu blasts him with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers give McGill a double reverse side Russian leg sweep and finish him with a top rope splash at 2:41. The Headshrinkers had a vicious edge that many heel tag teams can only dream of so of course the WWF decided to turn them face and destroy the killer instinct that got them over.

-Ross talks about how impressed he was with Razor Ramon’s effort against IRS at the Royal Rumble. These Jim Ross segments are absolutely painful. Ross says IRS is Rush Limbaugh’s favorite wrestler, but I doubt that because Limbaugh hates taxes. It reminds me of Ross calling Shelton Benjamin the “T.O. of the WWE” around 2006 when wearing shades and being black were the only qualities Shelton had in common with T.O. IRS says his goal in 1994 is to become the Intercontinental champion. Razor Ramon says he’s coming after Shawn Michaels next.

-The Steiner Brothers say they are tired of the Quebecers stipulations, but they’ll face them next week because they want the tag team titles back.

-Tune in next week to see the Steiners face the Quebecers in a ten minute challenge! Also, Kwang debuts and Marty Jannetty & the 1-2-3 Kid will be in action.

The Final Report Card: Since the next pay-per-view is more than four weeks away, this show was just used to put over new talent and build momentum for guys in the midcard. I have no idea what they were doing with Jarrett during this time period, other than seeing whether they could put he or Holly in the more ridiculous outfit each week, but everything else was clicking.

Show Grade: Passing

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,