What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – February 5, 1994

WWF Superstars

-Vince McMahon & Stan Lane are in the booth for another show.

-Opening Contest: “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels (w/Diesel) vs. Gary Sabaugh:

It takes Michaels an eternity to get ready for the match and when it starts Sabaugh gives him an arm drag. Sabaugh goes to work on the arm, but Michaels catches him with a dropkick. Michaels pounds away and catches Sabaugh with a flying forearm. Sabaugh reverses a take to the buckle, but a blind charge eats buckle and Michaels blasts him with a superkick for the pin at 2:15. Michaels and Sabaugh had a better squash match a year later on the Action Zone.

-Jim Ross is in a WWF studio and talks about how you can get tickets to WrestleMania X. Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji say that Yokozuna has momentum and that Tatanka better not get in Yokozuna’s way before WrestleMania.

-Earthquake is coming back to the WWF!

-Marty Jannetty & the 1-2-3 Kid vs. Fidel Fierra & Barry Horowitz:

The Kid and Fierra start and Fierra hammers away until the Kid dropkicks him out of the ring and hits a pescado. Back in, Jannetty and Horowitz get tagged in and Horowitz fires away in the corner. Jannetty reverses a whip into the corner and hits a hiptoss. Jannetty blocks a sunset flip with an elbow drop for two. Horowitz tags out, but Fierra gets backdropped when he tries a piledriver. The match starts to fall apart as the Kid and Jannetty briefly work over Fierra and slow the action down. Suddenly, Jannetty has an episode of Shawn Michaels envy and pins Fierra after a superkick at 3:20.

-Todd Pettengill provides the WrestleMania X report. Tickets for WrestleMania are sold out, but you can watch it at the Paramount Theatre on closed circuit! Hey, Jim Ross just said that tickets were still available!

-Kwang (w/Harvey Wippleman) vs. John Paul:

Kwang utilizes his martial arts offense and spews green mist into the air, which Lane says is toxic. You know, since Wippleman managed Kwang he could’ve teamed him with Adam Bomb and maybe THEN I would have bought that description. Kwang pulls Paul up after giving him a spinning heel kick in the corner. Paul tries to mount a comeback, but Kwang ends it with a superkick off the ropes at 1:58 shown. Am I in the Twilight Zone? That’s three straight matches that have been ended by the same move. This was an effective debut for Kwang.

-Paul Bearer is in the cemetery looking for the Undertaker’s spirit. Considering that the Undertaker didn’t return until August it took a while for Paul to find it.

-Non-Title Ten Minute Match: The Quebecers (Tag Team Champions w/Johnny Polo) vs. The Steiner Brothers:

The stipulation is that if the Steiners defeat the Quebecers in less than ten minutes they get a title match on next week’s show. Vince announces that next week “Macho Man” Randy Savage will face “the Model” Rick Martel, which should be a clue as to where this match is going. Scott and Pierre start and Pierre hammers away. Scott catches Pierre with a double underhook suplex when he puts his head down too early and the Quebecers have some heel miscommunication spots when Jacques tries to break up the cover. The Quebecers bail, but Scott follows and gives them a double noggin knocker. Back in, Rick gets tagged in, but falls victim to a Pierre missile dropkick. You know, if I were the Quebecers I’d just keep applying chinlocks to waste time. Rick slams Pierre off the top rope and another heel miscommunication spot occurs when Jacques interrupts the pinfall. Jacques tags in, but Rick gives him a gorilla press slam for two. Like idiots, the Steiners work the arm and Lane calls them out on it. Pierre knees Scott in the back when he runs the ropes, but when Pierre grabs Scott for a Jacques attack we get ANOTHER heel miscommunication spot. Scott covers Jacques after a slam and when Pierre tries to break that up we get heel miscommunication spot #4. This is getting pretty ridiculous. After clotheslining Pierre out of the ring, Scott rolls up Jacques but the referee is distracted by Polo and Pierre comes back into the ring and clotheslines Scott. The Quebecers pound on Scott in their corner legally and illegally. Jacques slams Pierre onto Scott for two. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Scott for one before Rick interrupts. Scott botches taking a fall from a clothesline, but it still gets two for Pierre. Scott backdrops Pierre out of the ring on a blind charge, but can’t make the tag. Jacques hits a hanging piledriver, but the Quebecer crash misses and we get a double KO. Rick gets the momentum swinging tag and he unenthusiastically cleans house. All hell proceeds to break loose and Scott hits a Frankensteiner on Pierre. However, since Jacques is incapacitated on the outside Polo rings the bell out of desperation. After some confusion, the referee orders the match to continue since time hasn’t really expired and Rick botches giving Jacques a top rope bulldog. Johnny Polo intervenes to make this thing even more of a mess and the Steiners give him a Steinerizer, but that allows time to expire at 10:27 and the Steiners don’t get their title shot next week.

Some people may hate me for this, but I can’t in good faith like this match. If you are going to employ a ten minute time limit then there needs to be a timer somewhere on the screen so the audience can follow along. Instead, we just got a regular match and the fans at home had no idea when the time limit was going to end. Nevermind the fact that the Steiners, noticeably Rick, didn’t care about being out there and painfully botched some spots in the match. Grade: D+

-“The Rocket” Owen Hart says his brother has done it all, but that was before he came along.

-Doink (w/Dink) vs. George South:

Dana Zielke, an old guy, is our guest ring announcer. A guy named Dana? Okay. Poor Dana is too stupid to leave the ring so Doink has to tell him to get out of there. South trips over himself when he chases Dink around before the match and in a great show of sportsmanship, Doink attacks him before he can get to his feet. Doink blocks an atomic drop and finishes with a German suplex in 33 seconds. Whoever booked this show and gave Doink less than a minute has my gratitude forever.

-Jim Ross feigns outrage at Owen Hart’s attitude. Ross continues to talk about WrestleMania tickets although Pettengill told us they were sold out. Crush and Randy Savage cut promos against each other.

-Rick Martel hypes his match with Randy Savage on next week’s show.

-Tune in next week to see Randy Savage collide with Rick Martel! Crush, the Bushwhackers, and Ludvig Borga (really?) will also be in action and we’ll get an update on the Bret Hart-Owen Hart saga.

The Final Report Card: With the buildup to WrestleMania underway it was clear that the Steiners wouldn’t be appearing at the show as they looked like fools in their match. Aside from that debacle, this was a very passable show.

Show Grade: C-

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