Pulse Wrestling Report: Smackdown 10.22.2010 — Kane, Randy Orton, Bragging Rights Countdown

The last of WWE programming before Bragging Rights. We’ll get to see what the defending champs have in store for us before Sunday, and if Raw will retaliate for the invasion on Monday. I’m ready for this.

Right off the bat, we have Team Raw staring down Team Smackdown in the ring. Teddy has decided to let the Superstars pick the matches tonight, and the mic is handed to Miz. He calls for a 6-man tag match with himself, Big Zeke, and Sheamus. Show picks Kofi and Mysterio for his team. Edge’s turn on the mic. He challenges CM Punk…and I can’t wait to see that. JoMo’s turn, he wants Alberto. Swagger wants Santino. Reks doesn’t get anyone, apparently, as Truth is MIA. Are they still in Canada?

We kick things off with the 6-man tag team match, Rey and Sheamus off first. Sheamus keeps Mysterio down, despite a few rallies. Sheamus looks incredibly lazy as his half-hearted offense is punching me in the face. Kofi tags in. Sheamus takes a nasty little fall outside of ring where Mysterio lands a seated senton, and we cut to…

Commercial.

Come back to Zeke and Kofi. I’ve forgotten what a monster Jackson is as he tosses Kofi around easily, and tags in Miz. Sheamus tags in. He seems to have rediscovered his own energy as he grounds Kofi. Kingston finally gets some offense in, as he crawls towards his corner, but Miz tags in and drags him away. Kofi finally tags Show, and the two captains go at it. Mayhem is starting to break out and Miz is chokeslammed. Rey is tagged in, finishes him up for three.

Grade: B
Lots of variety, lots of action. I dug this match for sure, but it seems like it would be better suited as a main event. Can’t complain though. It was an excellent match.

Commercial.

Come back to the same recap from Thursday’s Superstars, reviewing the Barrett/Cena shenanigans.

Cut to Josh Mathews, with Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero. He asks about Daniel Bryan, and we have another recap, this time of their showdown on Monday.

And now, Swagger is entering with his horrendous mascot and…

Commercial.

We’re back. Santino’s turn. Let’s see what he’s got! Santino already looking like a fool, out of the ring. Eagle stalks, and Hornswoggle enters, who chases off the eagle, and the fight continues. A medley of comedic ridiculousness erupts outside of the ring, but Santino is all business once he gets back in the ring. Goes for the Cobra, but taken down. Swagger gets the Ankle Lock, and Santino taps.

Grade: D-
Just…no. I’m tired of this kind of stuff.

Another commercial.

Dashing Grooming Tips…lip care? Tuning out.

Alberto’s entrance begins. A fan has an “Alberto Del-Lame-O” sign…really? JoMo next. And here we go. Some back and forth, but JoMo lands one of his solid kicks. Alberto gets him in a submission, and JoMo looks horrendous tonight. Alberto gets his knees up when John goes for Starship Pain, and locks in his finisher for the victory.

Grade: D
Alberto has finally won me over, and tonight was no different. But JoMo looked terrible. He was no-selling submissions, and everything was done really sloppy. I almost felt like he was mocking Alberto during this match.

Commercial.

Edge waltzes out. Punk next. This better be as good as I imagine it will be.

Bell rings. They play footsie for a minute, hug for what feels like forever, and Punk backs Edge into a corner. All moves thus far are slow, and subtle.

Commercial.

Come back, and they’re still dragging. Punk gains some momentum, working on the midsection. Punk goes to the top rope, but Edge turned it into a scoopslam. Lots of reversals, Edge gets fired up, Punk goes for GTS, countered by Edge. Top rope chops, Punk goes for super-plex, Edge tosses him away. Edge gets the bug eyes, in Spear position, but Miz and Reilly drag him out of the ring for disqualification.

Grade: C-
I have never, ever been bored during one of Punk’s matches. But this was horrendous. If they want to save their energy for Sunday, don’t work them on the show. It was painfully slow and sloppy. Not what I expected from two of my favorite men.

Kofi comes out to fight, then Tyler Reks, John Morrison, Alberto, Zeke, Swagger, Santino, Swagger takes him out, Sheamus comes out with the Brogue Kick, Show runs out, Sheamus lands another kick, Mysterio comes out with a 619, Punk hits the GTS on Mysterio, Edge Spears Punk. And that was the longest sentence, I’ve ever written.

The Blue Crew take a moment to raise each other’s arms in victory, and the audience pops.

Commercial.

So…we come back to LayCool dressed up as Natalya and Bret Hart. This did NOT work with Mickie James, it sure as hell doesn’t work now. Although, Michelle just earned ten cool points for pulling off the Bret look that well. Natalya and Kelly Kelly emerge. This will be a hot mess.

Apparently this is tag team. Here we go. Layla-As-Natalya and the real Nattie start. Some good offense, and Michelle-As-Bret is tagged in. Layla back in, but Natalya gets a double underhook butterfly suplex perfectly. Goes for the Sharpshooter, but Michelle holds on to Layla. It’s locked in, and Layla taps.

Grade: C+
You know what, this wasn’t terrible. Extra points for Kelly Kelly not even entering the ring, Michelle was actually comical as Bret, and Nattie looked great. Not bad, not bad.

Commercial.

We get to see the Stand Up For WWE video again, and I’m okay with that. It’s extremely well done. It pumps you up, makes you cry, and does a lot to rally you behind the company. I may not fully agree with everything Vince does, or the direction of PG television, but I definitely support the workers and employees that work their asses off for me. I encourage you do the same.

Kane enters with Paul Bearer…and…

Commercial.

Come back, and Randy’s entering. They stare each other down once the bell rings, and Kane is quick as a cat landing some solid offense. It almost seems like Randy and Kane took all the energy from all the other stars. Kane goes for the Tombstone, countered into a backbreaker from Randy. Kane rolls out of the ring, but Randy drives him into the steel post. The announce table falls victim to their fight, but they both crawl back in immediately. Just kidding, they’re back outside the ring, as Randy takes a wicked clothesline. Kane is ramming Randy back and forth between the barricade and the ring. Randy is left twitching outside of the ring as we go to…

Commercial.

And we’re back! Kane still dominating, a near fall after Kane hits another clothesline. Couple knees into the chest of the Viper. Again, the fight continues outside of the ring. Randy starts to get fired up, only to be cut back down. Kane to the top rope, connects for two and a half! Hand goes in the air, signaling the Chokeslam, but Randy counters. Once more, Randy gets fired up, working on Kane. Scoopslam by Orton, then sets up for the DDT on the ropes, connects! Randy gets ready for an RKO, countered, big boot to the face of Orton. Chokeslam position once more, but bells chime. Lights dim, come back on, and Randy hits the RKO for three.

Grade: B-
These two had chemistry from the start. I liked seeing Kane get the upper hand through most of this match, and Randy performed fabulously. Of course the finish was completely predictable. But it was completely worth it.

Kane tears apart the announce table, and waits for Taker in the ring. Bells, and blue light takes over. Undertaker emerges from the ring, and pulls Kane under like a bad Jaws sequel, and the credits roll.

Final Grade: D
All the life and charisma that these elite stars usually embody during every second of Smackdown was gone tonight. The matches would have been decent enough, if they hadn’t dragged me down. They all looked sedated. The main event, was the opposite. Kane and Randy looked great, even if the finish with Undertaker was campy and a little ridiculous. But it was short, sweet, and to-the-point. Not the best Smackdown I’ve ever seen, but oh well.

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