For Your Consideration…The RAW Judicial Review for 10/25/10

For Your Consideration…The RAW Judicial Review for 10/25/10

Welcome back to the longest running action-adventure, passive-aggressive, braggadociosly correct column on web of wide worlds, For Your Consideration. I am your Rent is too Damn High representative, Andrew Wheeler, and this week should be a pretty packed column: thoughts on Bragging Rights, the latest on Lesnar/Taker and a full review of tonight’s Monday Night RAW. All that plus the normal snark you’ve come to know and love.

Something to Brag About

Well, last night’s Bragging Rights PPV is in the books, and with the show expected to do Abyss-mal numbers (other possible TNA-related jokes included “Lethal numbers”, “Hardy anyone watched”, “SoLow Val” and “Hey Kurt Angle, did you see how few people ordered the show?”), most figured that the WWE was just going to phone it in. Turns out they didn’t.

I know this is going to sound like blasphemy to some who expect me to hate everything, but I actually really liked Bragging Rights. I did. I’m serious. Stop giving me that look.

See, this was a show that we expected NOTHING from. Nothing. Most people had written this PPV off before it even happened, and as the WWE sometimes tends to do, they phone it in with a filler show. Well, if this was their version of a filler show then they should run a hell of a lot more filler broadcasts.

Like I always say, the success or failure of a Pay-Per-View rests on whether or not the goals for that event were reached. The goals for this show were to advance certain storylines without making it look like a paper-thin event, and on that end they did everything they needed to.

Daniel Bryan v. Dolph Ziggler The match was well above people’s expectations, as the WWE allowed Bryan to go out there and put on a 20 minute match without the need to throw any stupid shenanigans his way. And Dolph, to his credit, hung in there. He didn’t look like – to quote Lorraine McFly – a little lost puppy. In end, Bryan won by making Ziggler tap out. That’s the finish I said they should do, so why would I find any fault with that? You’ve now established Daniel Bryan as your top midcard-level champion, you’ve furthered the dangerousness of the Patti LaBelle lock and you’ve shown that Dolph Ziggler can work a longer match and step up his game. Solid opener.

Road & Tire v. John Cena and David Otunga Hmm…where to begin? There are positives and negatives with this booking, and the fact that it has been so divisive may in fact mean that it’s a good thing.

The first positive is that Nexus finally has some gold. One of the biggest mysteries in recent booking has been the fact that Nexus is supposed to be the dominant new force, yet they never had any titles. Now, with Cena capturing the tag titles, Nexus not only has gold that it can defend (with everyone predicting that it will be in Freebird rules format), but it has gold that allows them to appear on both RAW and Smackdown. That is a huge positive, and it is something that will allow the stable to have a presence on both brands.

The first negative is the fact that McIntyre and Rhodes were built up just to be bumped off. With the WWE’s continued desire to break up established tag teams (see: Hart Dynast, The), the fact that they went with Drew and Cody as tag champions was actually a positive. Rhodes and McIntyre have been poised to break out at various points in their WWE careers, so the idea of them getting exposure on RAW seemed like a great opportunity. When they beat the long-reigning tag champions last month, I figured that they would be a midcard JeriShow. Instead, they got a few wins as a tag team and then got beaten in an unadvertised defense that was basically a handicap match. Maybe the company isn’t through burying Drew and they wanted to make sure that his stink didn’t get on the well-groomed Rhodes.

The next positive is also, in some people’s eyes, a negative. It’s the fact that this was an unadvertised title match featuring John Cena. I can understand why some people would think that this is a bad idea, especially when you consider the fact that Cena is one of the few proven draws. On the other hand, Cena was already advertised as being in Wade Barrett’s corner later in the night, so those people out there clamoring to see John knew he would appear anyway. Does anyone believe that if they advertised John Cena in a wacky-tag-team-partner match on the show that the buyrate would go up? I doubt it. In fact, this was a very sly move by the WWE. RAW and Smackdown are where things “happen”, and the PPVs are where angles get paid off. By having something “happen” on a PPV, that old successful formula of “anything can happen” is back in full swing.

The next negative is the fact that David Otunga has a title to his name. That thought alone just makes me sad. He’s fine on the mic, but in the ring he tends to get lost in the ring. Hopefully this will be Freebird rules so that Slater and Gabriel will get a chance to actually wrestle.

Overall, this was more good than bad. If the company wasn’t serious about Drew and Cody, then it was a good idea to get the belts off of them. At least with Cena and Otunga, the tag titles will get some spotlight on them.

Goldust v. Ted DiBiase Goldust is experiencing a bit of a career renaissance, as he seems to have broken free from his current pattern of appear for a company, get released, go to the competition, get released, lather, rinse, repeat. The feud he’s engaged in with Teddy is the classic midcard filler feud, and that’s fine. The WWE needs to do more stuff like this to keep a strong lower card. Remember, the best kinds of wrestling shows are the shows where we have a reason to care from top to bottom. The match itself was passable, which is ore than fine with me. Teddy just doesn’t seem to have that certain “it” that his father had, so I’ve got to believe that if this storyline doesn’t work that it’s back to the drawing board with him. Goldust, on the other hand, may have guaranteed himself a slot on the roster after the inevitable next round of cuts.

Natalya v. Layla The Diva division is obviously in a holding pattern until Beth Phoenix returns, which is why I picked against Natalya for the show. The match was borderline train wreck at parts (like where Natalya almost broke her neck on a blown spot), but thankfully the belt didn’t wind up with Natalya. She needs to be free to take part in the Hart Dynasty downfall, especially because she’ll probably wind up aligning with the heel Kidd. LayCool’s antics are still passable, though Stryker calling their promo Shockmaster-esque was classic. The Diva division is in a bad way right now, so hopefully some of the NXT rookies can step it up and show that they can do SOMETHING to shake the women’s brand up.

Undertake v. Kane Well, I picked this one correctly, so kudos to me. The match did everything right in terms of hiding Taker’s limitations, as it was more of a slow motion brawl and less an actual match. Undertaker once again got to keep all of his heat by dumping Kane into the open pit of darkness and despair (but enough about Michelle McCool), but an odd Nexus run-in wound up helping Kane retain his title.

For those people freaking out about the random Nexus attacks, pump the breaks. First off, Nexus’s M.O. has been that they are all about the winds of change and going after the establishment, and having already humbled John Cena, it makes sense that they would want to sideline The Undertaker. He’s one of the faces of the company, and being responsible for eliminating him is another feather in their caps.

The next reason this works for me is that it keeps the belt on Kane. What would be the point of putting the gold around the Undertaker’s waist if he can’t actually defend it? Smackdown has some faces with potential momentum, the biggest of which is now Edge. Edge/Kane isn’t going to…ahem…set the world on fire, but it’s something different.

The final reason this works is that it is the big insurance policy for the WWE. With the rumors of Brock being brought in, the WWE would have a massive main event for Wrestlemania…if it happens. If it doesn’t, the WWE needs to cover their asses, and this is how they did it. Option one is that the WWE can go with a straight-forward Undertaker v. Wade Barrett match, which would make sense. Option two is that John Cena turns heel and we get the long-rumored Taker/Cena Wrestlemania match that should make them a decent amount of money.

Sure, the match sucked, but for setting up a better future, I can’t really…ugh…bury it.

Bragging Rights Match: RAW v. Smackdown

RAW lost despite my prediction. See, I can admit when I’m wrong.

Call me crazy but I actually liked this elimination match. There was some questionable booking, but overall I thought it was pretty damn entertaining. In the end, Rey and Edge stood tall, which makes sense since they’re two of the front-runners to be the #1 Contender.

Some random thoughts:

-Why the hell did Kofi get eliminated so early? Would it have killed them to let him and Morrison have a few moments in the ring before having him get bumped off?

-Loved that Del Rio attacked Mysterio. Yes, it was predictable, but the way that it happened made it that much more brilliant. See, they had the accidental collision, which I thought would lead to miscommunication and THEN confrontation. Instead, they had Del Rio realize his mistake and then just for the hell of it have him attack Rey. Good stuff.

-Tyler Reks as a “monster” doesn’t work. His last run as a surfer hippie killed any notion of him being a killer, and his Slipknot hair just makes him look dirty instead of menacing. At least all he did was bump off Marella.

-Sheamus and Big Show getting counted out was a good way to keep them strong, but it made Show look like a fool considering he’s the captain and is supposed to be the strategist. The downside is the fear I have that this might lead to a Sheamus/Show match. Shudder.

-Edge spearing everyone in sight may actually be the way to get him over.

-Poor Ezekiel Jackson. He’s gone through several start-and-stop pushes and now that he’s back from injury, he winds up botching his finish with Mysterio. Have fun on Superstars working with Primo and Darren Young.

-The Miz getting pinned in the end was fine since he was Captain, but I still hoped that somehow he would pull out the win. Smackdown didn’t need the meaningless win, but Miz actually did. The momentum he would have had in captaining the winning team would have added a lot of value to his character.

Randy Orton v. Wade Barrett We all knew what to expect going into this match, so anyone that complains that they were somehow screwed over is fooling themselves. Yes, it could have been intriguing to have Randy Orton drop the title to Wade Barrett, but is that momentary shock really worth jeopardizing both face Orton and Wade’s future. The WWE knows that they cannot afford to simply waste another first-year star on the off chance that his title run doesn’t work. Sure, Sheamus wasn’t a bust on his first go-round, but he didn’t light the world on fire either.

Wade Barrett is good in the ring, but not great. He has done more with his push than anyone could have predicted, which is a testament to the WWE Creative Team. Yes, say what you want about them, but every once in a while they can spot talent.

The finish was the kind of schmaltzy sports entertainment finish we should always expect from a show that isn’t the Big Four. These kinds of endings happened all of the time during the “golden era” of the 90’s, but for some reason Vince kept going out of his way to actually give us finishes.

I have no problem with the finish of the match. Much like Kane/Taker, the problem here was that you had to have Guy A win without hurting Guy B. Just like there was no way the WWE was putting the title on Undertaker, there was no way they were putting the strap on Barrett. Unfortunately, they needed to figure out a way for Wade to win, so they decided to lawyer everyone. Technically speaking, John Cena did what he was told to do. On top of that, he interfered at a point where Randy would have inevitably won anyway. It wasn’t like Cena just randomly attacked Orton to prevent Barrett from winning the title. Instead, he actually saved Wade. And for his trouble, he got RKOed.

It was an intriguing finish, and one that I can’t get up in arms over. For a filler show with low expectations, it delivered well above what we all thought we were being served.

Alright, enough of this unbridled optimism, it’s making me nauseous. Remember, you can follow me on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/awheeler316), friend me on Facebook, e-mail me at awheeler316@yahoo.com or just post in the convenient comment section down below.

On with the show…

The RAW Judicial Review: 10/25/10

“Gimme a hell yeah.”

We go right at it with the awful Nickelback theme that reminds us in TV-PG that they have their balls out. Speaking of exposed genetalia, we are in Green Bay, the former home of Brett Favre.

There’s screaming fans and garish signs coming to you in crystal clear WWE-HD. Here comes Nexus, along with their version of Nikolai Volkoff, John Cena. Wade Barrett decides to take this moment to introduce the most dominant group in the WWE. No, not Techno Tag Team 2000. He means Wade Barrett and the Mid-Card All-Stars. Wade does his Don Pardo impersonation by introducing everyone, including musical guest John Cena.

We get still photo replays of Nexus burying Undertaker. He then unveils his inner James Bond villain by explaining why they did what they did. Long story short, they have their reasons (i.e. the writers haven’t written why yet. Don’t worry, that worked out well for TNA.) Barrett then demands that John Cena give us the Sportscenter recap of what happened the night before. Cena does his Jonathan Coachman impersonation and gives us a half-hearted recap of Bragging Rights. Wade then gives us his revisionist history of what occurred, which surprised me because I didn’t even know he was German.

John Cena pulls out some more lawyering skills by pointing out that Wade did in fact win the match, so everything should be hunky dory. Barrett and Cena go nose to giant nose, but that sets off the GMail. Wade Barrett is entitled to a rematch, but there must be a special referee. That referee is determined by the winner of Randy Orton versus Any Member of Nexus. The fans chant for Cena, but that’s just due to the fact that they don’t know who anyone else in Nexus is.

Wade, clearly not knowing any of their other names anyway despite just introducing them, announces that it’ll be John Cena. David Otunga grabs the microphone for some reason and bitches about how Cena ignored him in the match and hit the FU on him. Otunga says that Cena was against him, so tonight he needs to pay and be fired. Listen to the man, he has a giant penny attached to a belt.

Barrett says that Otunga and Cena cannot function as tag champions, so it’ll be Otunga and Cena versus Slater and Gabriel. Sure, why not?

WWE Unified Tag Title Match: Nexus v. Against Us

John Cena and Heath Slater start off but Barrett says that Nexus doesn’t fight itself, so he demands a Finger Poke of Doom. Barrett then says that Otunga needs to be the one to lay down. How the hell is it that someone with a law degree is getting beaten in an argument by a man that used to wear a coat without putting his arms through the sleeves?

The disproportioned barrister gets in the ring and drops to one knee. The fans start to boo, but that’s because Cheeseheads must be opposed to gay marriage. It’s the 21st Century folks, get over it. Otunga lays down and gets pinned by Heath Slater. Nexus celebrates in the ring as John Cena heads to the back for some Stacker 2. Well, that’s a great way to make sure that the better tag team gets the gold.

Later tonight, John Cena will face Randy Orton. Right now?

Commercial.

We’re back and here comes Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlyn for some reason. For the record, Kaitlyn’s got some thighs on her. Suddenly, I want shawarma. Vickie claims that the referees were out to get Dolph Ziggler (why, he doesn’t play for the Dolphins…who got ROBBED), so tonight, Dolph is going to embarrass Daniel Bryan. How so? Is he going to choke him with a tie?

Dolph Ziggler v. Daniel Bryan

Just as the match is about to begin, CM Punk comes out and I wonder if this could get ay more awesome. Punk comes out in a DARE shirt, proving that yes, it can. If this is the start of a Bryan/Punk feud, I will order the next PPV with no questions asked.

Dolph takes Bryan down with a waist lock as Punk joins the commentary team. Bryan fights to grab Dolph’s leg but Dolph gets a waistlock. Bryan shoulder-blocks Ziggler down and connects Bryan with a few kicks. Daniel goes for a surfboard submission as Lawler gets called out for not knowing the name of moves. Bryan turns the surfboard into a chinlock, which actually gets a pop!

Punk takes the time to point out that William Regal is who trained Daniel Bryan, while all Shawn Michaels did was take money from Bryan and leave him to his own devices. Is it wrong that I’m hoping that Punk injures himself for a few months and can do nothing but commentary?

Ziggler gets dumped out of the ring by Bryan, who connect with a suicide dive. The impact knocks Dolph into a…

Commercial.

We’re back and Bryan and Ziggler are trading punches like kids trade pogs. Kids still use pogs, right? Fuck, I’m old. Bryan connects with a dropkick for two as we get a replay of the suicide dive. Bryan fires off with kicks and the fans seem to actually appreciate what they’re seeing. Daniel connects with a kick to the head before going for the Patti LaBelle lock. Bryan props Ziggler on the top rope and connects with a hurricarana that gets rolled through by Dolph for a two-count.

Dolph goes for a sleeper but Bryan breaks free and eats a superkick for two. Ziggler measures Bryan for the Zagnut Bar, but Bryan gets a roll-through that gets countered for two. Lawler gives them the faint-praise damning “These guys are fun.” Neat-o, King.

Bryan and Ziggler trade blows on their knees as Punk buries NXT. Ziggler delivers a nice throw that looked like a reverse bodyslam for two. I can’t believe Vince is letting these two go out and wrestle on RAW. Someone must have fiddled with the old man’s meds. Either that or he wants people to vote for Linda so he’s bribing them.

Bryan locks in the Patti LaBelle Lock but Vickie drags his foot out of the ring. Regardless, he taps. Guerrero screeches for a few minutes as my ears bleed like I’m watching an Al Pacino move. Punk stands up to applaud Bryan, and if voting for Linda means we get Punk/Bryan, then I will register in Connecticut and cast my ballot for wrestling’s best actress. That’s how we know she’s telling the truth in her speeches…she isn’t very good at delivering lines.

Commercial.

We’re back with Vince Lombardi, who has been frozen in carbonite. We get shots of the Packers in attendance, which of course leads to a promo about literacy. Hey, if they could get George “The Animal” Steele to talk, they can do anything.

In the back, Toby Keith gives The Bella Twins copies of his CD, and in exchange, they give him a crappy electric title. He might be the first person to be in TNA and be given the WWE Title. Well, I guess Punk qualifies. Yep, bet you didn’t know CM Punk and Toby Keith had something in common. Santino pops up dressed like a cowboy and he’s going to sing. It’s actually about as good as Toby Keith, just slightly less racist. Speaking of racial stereotypes, Sheamus shows up. He calls Santino a dusgrace ahn an embharassmen. He challenges Santino to a match tonight on RAW. Well I guess this is the trade-off for getting an awesome Bryan/Ziggler match.

Wade Barrett is in the back smirking at space before Cena bursts into the locker-room to complain about the finish. Barrett says that if Cena wins tonight, Wade is going to make him an offer he can’t refuse. Why would he be giving John Cena bribes when he HAS to do what he tells him to do? Wait…brain…trying…to…assign…logic…to…wrestling…gaak…

Commercial.

I don’t know what Fable III is, nor do I care, but the song in the commercial is lodged in my brain.

We’re back with highlights of LayCool mocking Natalya on Smackdown. Speaking of which, they’re in the ring with their matching tramp stamp titles.

Lay-Cool v. Melina and Gail Kim

Hey, everyone’s already in the ring, so that should save some time. Melina takes out Layla with a kick and bounces her head off the canvas in such a way that I thought she might have killed her. Layla botches running the ropes and then we get a mid-air belly bounce. Layla blind-tags Michelle McCool before getting rolled up, and McCool drops Melina for the pin. Thanks for coming Gail Kim. Hope it didn’t take you too long to get ready.

Jerry “Mystic Tan” Lawler and Michael “Casual Male” Cole talk about how we should register to vote and vote for WHOElindaVER YOU WANT. No coercion at all. Jerry also gets a nice shot in about how you better not wear your WWE shirts to the polls. I’ll admit that the decision to prevent people from wearing WWE shirts is a bit ridiculous. I feel like I should get my electoral process professor on the phone.

Miz and Mizfit are in the back walking towards a…

Commercial.

Did you know that John Cena and Michael Jordan have two things in common: terrible movies and charity work.

Awesome, here comes The Miz. Miz says that he’s accomplished more in his career than everyone in this arena can dream of achieving. Well, I guess Hunter isn’t backstage. Miz says that he isn’t a miracle worker. Really? After seeing Alex Riley wrestle, I assumed he was deaf and blind.

Miz says that he was the last RAW star standing and if the rest of RAW didn’t suck, they would have won. His talent doesn’t just speak volumes, it screams awesome. What? Is he just spouting off catchphrases? Miz hypes the fact that he’s the THQ poster boy for the video game. “Eat your heart out, Tetris.” Alright, I’ll admit that I popped for that.

Miz says that the Bragging Rights team should have had seven Mizes, or seven brides for seven Mizes. Miz blames his team, blames Smackdown and, like a good Republican, blames Rey Mysterio because he’s an immigrant. Miz invites Rey to Monday Right RAW, because he may slowly be morphing into Scooby Doo.

The promo gets interrupted by…Eve. Seriously? Eve? Miz says she should apologize for her music, choice in men and terrible hair extensions. Eve says that everyone in the arena knows that Miz is nothing more than 15-minute flash in a pan. She caps it off by calling him a frog-faced loser. Wait, he’s French?

Miz tries to say his catchphrase but Eve says he is the furthest thing from awesome that the WWE has ever seen. This coming from a woman who accompanies Resurrection-Truth. Riley tells her to shut the front door before saying that the rest of Team RAW is on their way to unemployment. Well, maybe Ezekiel Jackson. He then issues an open challenge to any member of Team RAW.

“Oh no. Go away.” I never thought I would agree with Michael Cole, because here comes Resurrection-Truth. Why can’t his legal woes extend to Wisconsin?

R-Truth asks them what’s up, but sadly not what up with that. Is it too much to ask for Lindsey Buckingham to Guest HostW RAW? Truth says that he wants a piece of Mr. Kermit. Oh, because he looks like a frog. High-larious. R-Truth tries very hard to get the word “truth” inserted into every sentence for a few moments before…

The GMail goes off. “Ding. Ding. Ding.”

Resurrection-Truth v. The Miz

Miz fires off with some punches before connecting with a hip-toss and clotheslined out of the ring and into a…

Commercial.

We’re back and Miz is already pinning Truth for two. Miz mounts Truth and fires off right hands as Cole and Lawler mock each other’s spouses. Miz drives a knee into Truth’s back before locking in a dreaded resthold. Miz goes for a belly-to-back but Truth reverses for two. Miz charges Truth in the corner and delivers with that still impressive clothesline for two.

Miz props Truth on the top rope and goes for a Superplex, but Truth blocks it and knocks Miz down. He leaps off the second rope and punches Miz a few times and hits a clothesline. Truth drops Miz for two before eating an elbow in the corner. Truth does a split before hitting that modified Stunner thing that he borrowed from Skip Sheffield. When you’re stealing moves from an NXT rookie, you know you have a limited move-set.

Truth launches Miz to the outside before tossing him back into the ring. Mizfit nails him from behind (that’s what she said), but Eve shows up and smacks him in the face. You know, there are people that would pay good money for her to smack them in the face.

Truth dropkicks Mizfit on the outside before rolling up Miz for two. Miz blocks the scissor kick and hits the SCF for the pin. Cole says that this was about teaching R-Truth a lesson. I guess Cole feels he was getting too uppity.

Miz blows a kiss to Eve after the match, because nothing says heel like date-rapist.

Commercial.

We’re back with introductions for Toby Keith. He is accompanied by the Bella Twins, who exude the same excitement you’d see from a dancer accompanying a kid out at his Bar Mitzvah.

Toby Keith babbles about how he hasn’t been in Wisconsin in a while. When the hell did he turn into Kenny Fucking Powers? Whoa…whoa…whoa…Toby Keith just used the term “wrestling”. Security! Security!

“It’s a one-fall match in the next match.” Well, he’s still better than Lillian Garcia.

Sheamus v. Santino Marella

This thing better not last more than 30 seconds and it better be an outright squash. Santino peers out cautiously from behind the electric screen. Keith encourages him to get into the ring and it fires up Marella.

Sheamus tosses Santino into the corner and then hits him with a clothesline. Sheamus stomps the hell out of Marella and I’m dreading the fact that this might lead to a Kozlov run-in. Sheamus goes for the Bicycle Kick but Santino blocks it by falling.

John Morrison runs out and tries to get the ref to stop the match to save both him from injury and us from watching it. Sheamus props up Santino and goes for the bicycle kick again but moves and Santino gets the fluke pin. Are you FUCKING kidding me? What was the point of building up Sheamus as a deadly force in wrestling so that he can be jobbed out in a joke?! This better be an Umaga situation where Sheamus next week kills Santino. Literally.

Commercial.

If Golden Corral helps you to happiness, maybe suicide isn’t such a bad option.

We’re back for more Stand Up for the WWE. The wrestlers talk about how much they love working for World Wrestling Entertainment. Cole talks about how this is an honor and a privilege, and if this was in 3D, my eye would have been poked out by his growing nose.

Nexus is in the back and Otunga asks for a one-on-one conference with Wade Barrett. David says that Wade couldn’t get the job done, so he wants to put the focus on Otunga. David threatens to expose why Nexus attacked Kane, but his threat is cut off by McGillicutty and Harris. Barrett says that David knows the deal and he needs to decide if he’s Nexus or Againstus. Otunga says he’s Nexus.

Commercial.

Next week is Pee Wee Herman hosting RAW, which should be fantastic.

John Cena v. Randy Orton

Cena is out first, flanked by Wade Barrett. Orton is out next, and he hears voices. Clearly the Wellness Policy doesn’t cover mental illness.

Cena and Orton dance around the ring for a moment before locking up. Cena gets a headlock but Orton takes him down with a shoulder-block. We get a second headlock, letting us know that they’re trying to burn out the clock.

Cena takes Orton down with a shoulder-block of his own before getting another stare-down. Cena goes for a bulldog but Orton moves out of the way and unleashes some stomps and punches. Cena comes back and goes for the flying shoulder-tackle but misses and flies through the ropes. Orton attacks Barrett as we head to…

Commercial.

We’re back and Cena goes for the FU but eats a DDT. It’s capital letter offense here on Monday Night RAW. Randy fires off some more punches but Cena comes back with the Five Moves of Mediocrity. John connects with the Five Knuckle Shuffle before going for the FU again. Randy blocks it and goes for the RKO but Cena goes for the STFU and Randy counters. Orton pulls out the vintage scoopslam used by John Adams against Thomas Jefferson.

Randy goes for the second-rope DDT but Cena tosses him over the top rope. Wade takes this moment to attack Orton, but Cena makes the save. Orton and Cena go at it again, ending with Cena whipping Orton into the heavily padded barricade. What a pussy. He doesn’t wanna get hurt in a fake sport.

Cena climbs the top rope going for the Rocker Dropper, which connects for two. Cole yells that somehow Orton kicked out. Yeah, somehow the champion kicked out of a transition move. Cena goes for the FU but Orton counters again. Randy slides back in the ring but gets locked in the STFU. John breaks the hold to get in Barrett’s face and as he turns around he gets nailed with a dropkick. Shades of Sparky Plugg.

Orton hits the second-rope DDT before he starts to hump the mat. That can mean only two things; either the Mrs. isn’t putting out or it’s time for an RKO. Cole lays on the snake metaphors as Randy goes for the RKO but it gets reversed into an FU for two. Orton then connects with an RKO but Cena rolls out of the ring.

Randy rolls Cena into the ring and puts him in position for the Punt of Death. Barrett pulls Cena out of the ring and clotheslines him, giving Cena the win via disqualification. Why does this finish look familiar? This was like the “Back to the Future II” of wrestling finishers.

Nexus runs out to jump Orton but Cena leaps out of nowhere to fight them off. Barrett demands that they stop and Wade banishes Nexus. Never underestimate the intimidation factor of a British accent.

Wade Barrett says that since Cena won, Wade gets to pick the referee at Survivor Series. His pick: John Cena. John Cena is going to be an impartial referee. If Wade doesn’t win, he will fire John Cena on the spot. So clearly he doesn’t know what impartial means.

Barrett says that when he wins the WWE Title, John Cena will be relieved of his responsibilities as member of Nexus. What a decision…help Wade win and get his freedom back or help Randy Orton who tried to kill him with pyro. Decisions, decisions.

This has been for your consideration.

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