We open up with a very campy segment involving the Undertaker, strutting around backstage to cryptic music and dimmed lights. Oh, and itâ€™s over now.
Cutting to the show, Kane is crouched over the mound of dirt where Undertaker was buried last Sunday. He claims full responsibility for Undertakerâ€™s loss, and assures us that he will not be returning. Right as he calls for a moment of silence for his brother, in an anticlimactic twist, Alberto del Rioâ€™s music queues up. Apparently, he feels due a world title shot, and knocks the urn out of Bearerâ€™s hands like a school yard fight, causing a brawl to ensue. Rey runs out, scaring Alberto off, and Bearer is in 619 positionâ€¦so Rey goes for it. Kane tosses Rey out of the ring, and out comes Edge to Spear Kane. Heâ€™s the last one standing, as his music rips through the arena. Well, there you go! Show is off with a bang, and no Greenday music in sight.
Come back to Teddy Long talking to Alberto, turning him down for a title shot. Well, sort of. There will be a number one contender decided tonight in a Triple Threat between del Rio, Edge, and Mysterio tonight.
Next up, Dolph Zigglerâ€¦and Vickie wearing something even stick figures shouldnâ€™t attempt. Next, Daniel Bryan! I cannot complain about this one bit.
Bell rings, and theyâ€™re already twisting and turning around the ring. Dolph throwing some subtle kicks, before landing a solid drop kick and locking in a submission. Although, itâ€™s hard to focus on the match with Coleâ€™s voice droning on and on about his disdain for Bryan. Finally, Bryan builds some momentum, looking great as usual. Top rope, connects, Dolph rolls outâ€¦
Come back, and Dolph has regained control with some reversals. Both men lock arms and attempt a few suplexes each, before falling out of the ring in an awkward way. Both men out, ref counts to 9 before both are in. A lot of back and forth between the two, Label Lock, countered, Sleeper locked in, ref takes a bump. Doesnâ€™t see the pin, Vickie attempts a three-count but is kicked out. Bryan lands a Superkick for the victory.
This is working very well, these two look great and are absolutely thrilling together. Which, based on the WWEâ€™s track record, means they should kill this right quick. I want to see this go far!
Josh Mathews is lurking backstage, and stumbles on to Bearer. Josh has never looked this frightened before. Kane waltzes up as Josh runs away, huffing and puffing.
Now, all the Superstars and Divas tell us what they like about their jobs. Must say, this was very well done.
Kelly Kelly is showing off the only two assets she has working for her, but Cody forces her out. Big Show interrupts, wanting to face Cody. Show has to pick a partner to take on Dashintyre. Hmm.
Jack Swagger enters. Kaval enters.
Bell rings. And Kaval is already blowing my mind. Jack in control for the most part, grounding the high flyer as much as he can. Kaval flails around, laying down a hurricanrana, gets Swagger in the corner and lands a solid kick. And then another for a two-count. Swagger gets out of the ring, drilling Kavalâ€™s leg into the steel ring post, and works on his ankle even further once back in the ring. Ankle lock, locked in, Kaval taps quick.
These two looked great, and Kaval was given a real moment to shine. I donâ€™t mind that Swagger went over, but I feel like it made Kaval look bad to tap so quick. Of course, the Ankle Lock is vicious, but Kaval has shown resilience on more than one occasion.
After a few recaps, we cut to Teddy and Hornswoggle. Time for the Diva Halloween Costume Contest. Can you feel my excitement?
The Bellas â€“ Batman and Robin
Alicia Fox â€“ Cleopatra
Kelly Kelly â€“ Slutty Bo Peep
Rosa â€“ Leprechaun
Melina â€“ Spiderwoman
LayCool â€“ Lady Gaga and Beyonce (really?)
Not that you care, or anything, but LayCool named themselves winners. As expected, this has turned into a match. Dare I even grade it?
Alicia, Rosa, and LayCool, against Kelly, Melina, and the Bellas. Wow, Robin Bella actually looked pretty good against Alicia, Melina tags in.
I looked down to read a text, and all hell has broken out. Once the ring is cleared, Kelly stumbles through her finisher for the victory.
Edge and Rey are discussing the Triple Threat backstage. Big talk, and thenâ€¦
Dashintyre make their entrance, mic in hand. Theyâ€™re discussing the tag titles, promising to bring them back. I missed Raw, so Iâ€™m a little lost. They also claim theyâ€™re going to be calling themselves â€œThe Dashing Onesâ€â€¦I like Dashintyre better.
Big Show enters. I wonâ€™t even comment on the big yellow wig. Apparently, his partner is Kofi. Well, good!
Bell rings. Drew and Kofi off first, both trading offense until Show gets the tag, and takes control. Few monstrous chops, a body slam, and tags Kofi back in. Cody tags in, cornering Kofi. Drew tags in, but takes the fight outside the ring, driving Kofi into the announce table. Back in, another tag by Drew. Cody works on the legs, lands a suplex, for a two-count. Drew in, and despite the solid action, the announcers are giggling about the grooming tips. Kofi nearly gets a tag, to be pulled away by Cody and locked into a submission. Kofi finally getting fired back up against Drew, makes the tag to Show. Spinebuster from Show, Drew charges, Show counters, Chokeslams Cody for three.
Not a bad match at all. It was a little watered down, but overall impressive enough.
Come back to Rhodes and McIntyre arguing backstage. Yet another tag team bites the dust. Drew, donâ€™t make Cody go all Tiffanyâ€¦
Triple Threat time. Albertoâ€™s up first. Followed by Rey, who looks silly in a ball cap. Followed by Edge.
Bell rings. Rey charges Alberto as Edge stand idly by, watching. Rey is tossed out, but lands it and instead tosses Edge out. After a bit of a fight, Edge rolls up Alberto for two. All men are in shambles outside of the ring, after Reyâ€™s crossbody from the top rope incapacitates all three.
Alberto has backed Rey into a corner, shoving his boot (which is larger than Reyâ€™s head) into Reyâ€™s face. Alberto still in control, not sure where Edge is. Edge reappears, Alberto and Rey still going at it. Rey is knocked out of the ring, Edge works on Alberto. The fight, once more, moves outside, and all three are on their backs. Again. Edge and Rey are back in, Rey to the top rope, connects, for two. Edge in 619 position, Rey taken down by Alberto. Belly to back suplex from Alberto to Edge, for two. Edge sits on the top rope, a failed hurricanrana from Rey, Alberto locks in cross arm breaker, Edge drops an elbow on del Rio. (Are you all sick of reading their names yet?) Triple clothesline! 619 connects from Rey, Rey is Speared outside of the ring, Edge pinsâ€¦for two. Del Rioâ€™s ring announcer distracts Edge, Alberto lands a kick, Rey breaks up the pin, goes for his own pin, for two. Alberto once more in 619 position , as is Edge, Rey picked up by del Rio, Edge Spears both men for the victory.
I loathe Triple Threats, but this one wasnâ€™t bad. All three men looked pretty good. Rey and Edge kept me guessing as to who would win. They fed off each other very well, and kept the crowd roaring.
Kane ignites his fire, staring down Edge, as the credits roll.
Tags: alberto del rio, Dolph Ziggler, edge, kane, report, rey mysterio, WWE, WWE Smackdown