For Your Consideration…The RAW Judicial Review for 11/1/10 with Pee-Wee Herman

For Your Consideration…The RAW Judicial Review for 11/1/10 with Pee-Wee Herman

Welcome to the longest running, action-adventure, passive-aggressive, nonpartisan yet highly partisan column with its finger on the Pulse of wrasslin, For Your Consideration. I am your soon-to-be off the market host Andrew Wheeler ([D] Florida), and this week promises to be a pretty packed column.

Before I get down to business, let me take care of a housekeeping measure. As most of you know, I keep my personal stuff out of the column unless I absolutely have to mention it. Well, this is one of those rare circumstances. This Saturday I will be getting married to my amazing fiancé Rachel, who is unquestionably my soul mate (yes, a rare moment of sap, but I think given the circumstances it’s appropriate). She not only tolerates my love of wrestling but is an active supporter of my quirky passion, attending both a Smackdown taping and an ROH show. In addition, she accepts the fact that at the end of our long Monday workdays she is going to lose me for a few hours as I write “For Your Consideration”. Despite her lack of deep knowledge of the programming (she recognizes people and has developed a sense of who she likes and dislikes), she reads my column every week and is incredibly supportive of it. If you can find a partner in life that supports even your most oddball passion and loves you more for it, you hold onto them and do whatever it takes to keep them a part of your life.

So what does this have to do you with you, loyal FYCer? Well, next week there will not be a Monday column, as I will be sitting on a tropical island with a not-so-tropical glass of Scotch enjoying my honeymoon. Don’t worry, I will be right back here in two weeks, sporting what should be a pretty badass tan. For now, you can send feedback or congratulations at the various social outlets out there: follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/awheeler316, friend me on Facebook, e-mail me at awhweler316@yahoo.com or just post in the comments section below.

Thanks to all of my amazing readers for these past three plus years, and after the one-week hiatus I promise to be back and better than ever (though without the creepy Eric Bischoff black haircut he sported when that was his theme).

Get Up, Stand Up…for the WWE

With tomorrow being election day, the volume of the discourse seems to have amplified as the tone of the discourse has rapidly decreased. Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or DVR all of your shows), you haven’t been able to avoid the constant bombardment of ads for all of the “qualified” candidates. At the end of the day, if you’re over 18 years of age, you’re an American citizen and you’re not a felon, get out there and vote. It doesn’t matter who you vote for, just vote.

With that said, the Linda McMahon for Senate campaign has taken on a life of its own, both here on PulseWrestling and in the mainstream media. Before I get into what I’m going to say, I just want to state at the beginning that I am not a Connecticut resident and I am not a member of the Republican Party (because, quite frankly, no child has ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell the tale).

Our site always has a diversity of opinions, from those that hate TNA to those that mildly dislike TNA. When it comes to politics, however, there tends to be this feeling of a fly in the ointment. People come to this site to read about the ins-and-outs of the wrestling world, and discussing political happenings tends to muddy the waters a bit. I will admit that when I started writing here in early 2007 (to quote Doc Brown, “My God, has it been that long?”), I was guilty of engaging in some partisan political discussion. As my column evolved, the real world topics I generally addressed fell by the wayside, which freed up room to write more about wrestling.

A few days ago, another writer on this site decided to put up a column encouraging people to Stand Up Against the WWE. The column was the kind of dangerous article that can truly damage the credibility and reputation of the community we are building for ourselves here.

If I were living in Connecticut, I would have a decision to make between the devil I know or the devil I don’t. The Democratic candidate for Senate, Mr. Blumenthal, has been largely discredited by making potentially misinterpreted statements about his military service, yet he has been the one taking the position of bastion of integrity in the campaign. And that’s fine. It is. It’s politics. That’s the nature of the beast.

On the other hand, you have Linda, and to a lesser extent you have Vince. To his credit, Vince McMahon has managed to keep his crazy in check throughout this campaign, spending most of his time writing check after check to his wife’s Senatorial campaign to the tune of $40,000,000. If there is one thing the McMahon Family was built for, it’s a political campaign.

Vince and Linda counted on the fact that the WWE was going to be attacked, because they are such an inviting target. It’s a company that has been chastised for being the downfall of western civilization for so long that to mock pro wrestling anymore for being tasteless is about as original as mocking Fox News for being unbiased. Vince was clamoring for the fight because he lives to take on people who want to throw stones as his immense glass house (why else would Titan Tower be made of so many windows?).

The Stand Up for the WWE Campaign may be fairly disingenuous given it’s time, but the message isn’t all that terrible. Attacking Linda McMahon for her involvement in wrestling was going to provoke a response, and the cheap shots being taken at the expense of wrestling fans, while not original, is nonetheless tiresome. The campaign, with its heavy-handed message, hasn’t done what most politicians tend to do. It hasn’t lied.

WWE television is a TV-PG show, which means it can appeal to a larger audience. We might not all be the biggest fans of the decision, and we might long for the era of guys being sprayed down with septic tanks while Mae Young Jell-O wrestles Santino, but the move happened nonetheless. And what happened for this short period of time? Kids were able to watch the programming. No, the root reason wasn’t exactly a noble one, but so what? The shows became more family-friendly, which provided Linda with a solid answer when criticized for the raunchy programming that used to air. Hell, the offensive stuff they keep bringing out happened almost nine years earlier. And while Trish barking like a dog wasn’t exactly high art, she did in the end get the upper hand and Vince was the one made to look like a fool. At the end of the day, if TV-PG is seen as the root cause for the decline in ratings and buyrates, Vince McMahon will unleash the blood and sex because he is above all else a businessman.

The WWE has created a successful literacy program and a voter registration campaign, as well as participated in Make-A-Wish and the USO. Were they done for good PR? Absolutely. But so what? Most charitable actions by companies are done as part of the “what’s in this for me” mentality, but they still allow good to happen.

Using the WWE as a political machine for Linda’s campaign is the most logical move Vince McMahon has made in the past decade. Fans, by and large, aren’t going to tune out because of the Stand Up campaign. And, as my esteemed colleague Mr. Glazer pointed out earlier today, if you’re morally outraged by it, turn the show off. There are plenty of other shows to watch on Monday Nights, and there are plenty of other wrestling promotions out there to cater to your needs.

Vince and Linda have built an entertainment juggernaut that has been exploited by everyone from movie producers to presidential candidates, so to decry them for using it to their advantage is absolutely absurd. Watching the promotional videos they made with wrestlers talking about their passion for the business would have been championed at any other point in time. And, for the large majority of us not voting in Connecticut, it’s a nice little video reminding us that the wrestlers are living out dreams. If that doesn’t work, then watch the videos featuring the WWE employees. Most of us would give anything to have a job working for the WWE and get paid to watch wrestling. These are hard working people who get to do just that and weren’t shy about saying so.

Vince loves a fight, which isn’t much of a surprise. He has boasted for years about how he beat the government, saved NBC late night, became the highest rated and longest running cable show ever and revolutionized Pay-Per-View. The man lives for competition, and bah gawd he was going to attack when given the opportunity.

As someone who has studied politics, it is astounding to think that anyone in the Democratic Party thought it was a good idea to kick the hornet’s nest that was WWE. Airing the clip of Linda kicking Jim Ross in the balls and questioning her ability to lead is like airing a clip from “Terminator” of Arnold shooting at Linda Hamilton and asking how he could be allowed to be governor based on his heinous attempt to kill James Cameron’s ex-wife.

The kicker was when some midlevel flunkie looking to get ahead in his or her job decided to petition to ban the wearing of WWE merchandise to the polls. That is the equivalent of buying a gun, loading it, giving it to Vince, putting on a t-shirt with a bull’s-eye and then asking him about the WBF. I mean, seriously? Who the hell thought they were going to win that. That’s the kind of blunder that was so beyond logical that I almost assumed that Vince did it himself ala The Higher Power. Of course you can’t ban WWE merchandise from the polls. That would have been like banning Heinz Ketchup shirts during the 2004 election. THAT is why Vince is giving out free merchandise to fans outside of polling locations. And yes, even if you told them you were voting Democratic, they would give you the shirt. They don’t care about your vote, they care about the image. Vince wants every shot from every prescient covering the election to show thousands of people with WWE logos on their body. That’s it. Plus, even if Linda loses, he can say that his promotion got a high voter turnout. It’s win win for him.

Best of all, the fans in Connecticut have been big winners. WWE Appreciation Day sounds like a great Supershow, and at only $10, was one hell of a bargain for a wrestling event. And even though it wasn’t a full fledged political rally, it was still consistent with what everyone has done in the past. In 2004, I got to see a Dave Matthews Band show in Gainesville because it was part of a voter campaign, even though the undercurrent was to vote out Dubaya. Did I feel used and cheapened? Hell no. And, because they closed the show with “Lie in our Graves”, I got to hear one of my favorite songs live for cheap.

One of the other writers here said that we should vote against Linda because of all of Vince’s failed ventures and that they should “stick with wrestling.” Really? Really? If that’s the best you got, it’s time to go back to the drawing board. Sure, they’ve failed at outside ventures, but the company is still standing. And for the record, WWE Film is doing just fine. No one was expected to go out to the theaters to go see “Knuckleheads”, but it got them prime placement in Wal-Mart, which is all they cared about.

But my issue is with the nature of the argument itself. Because the McMahons have failed in ventures outside the wrestling world we shouldn’t vote for Linda. Zuh? That has nothing to do with being a Senator. Do you have any idea how many failed businessmen have been members of Congress? Even better, do you know how many failed businessmen have been SUCCESSFUL members of Congress?

Linda’s resume is fairly impressive. She’s a former CEO of a billion-dollar company that she helped grow from a regional promotion to a global brand. She took the WWE public and made her and her husband even richer, while expanding their brand into different mediums. All that matters is what she’s done for Connecticut and what she can do for the state. The WWE created thousands of jobs for that state, and I’ll be damned if there isn’t a wrestling fan in the world that can’t name where WWE Headquarters is.

I’m not saying to vote for her or to vote against her. Hell, 90% of the readers here aren’t able to vote in this election to begin with. My issue is with people attacking the WWE for doing what it was built to do and for doing it effectively. I’m all for them going after the people who went after wrestling, like I always have.

Lastly, there were comments made about the insidious Parent Television Council. The PTC is a bullying organization that uses a culture of fear and manipulation to control the public. When they went after Smackdown, they did a significant amount of damage. It was not as simple as the WWE losing Coke and going to Pepsi. The pressure that this group put on advertisers nearly crippled the UPN show. When Vince lost Coke, the only beverage company he could get was R/C Cola. For years, Vince had to fight to get advertisers to what was the highest rated Friday show, for fear that the ultra-religious PTC would lead boycotts. But enough about them, my heart can’t take it this close to the wedding.

Getting your panties in a bunch because Vince is exploiting his WWE audience for perceived personal gain in the year 2010 seems almost quaint. Screw the devil you know and realize that he’s the devil you built. We built. We all gave him the power to lump us together into one Universe and create self-serving causes, so now people want to get up in arms and complain?

Wrestling and politics should be separate, but good luck untangling them. As long as we’re a diverse audience made up of loyal viewers ranging in ages 3 to 103 living in 50 states or across 100+ countries, we’re wide open to pandering from everyone. I’ll stand up for the WWE simply because I embrace them doing what everyone else does. Sure the timing goes beyond “suspect” to downright patronizing, but so what? If anyone is swayed by this campaign, then chances are they were going to vote for Linda because they like wrestling, not because they care about the issues. Best of all, come Wednesday, this argument is going to be completely irrelevant.

I’ll leave you with a thought and then get down to the wrestling: if Linda didn’t use the WWE to further her campaign, who wants to bet that people would be up in arms that she didn’t. Seriously, if she tried to distance herself from the WWE entirely and avoided anyone associating her with what made her who she was, she’d be demonized here as someone ashamed of their past, forgetful of what made them who they are and be viewed as an enemy to the wrestling public.

In other words, she’d be The Rock.

Alright, enough politics. Oh, and for what it’s worth, I love The Rock just as much as the next guy, but he’s the epitome of someone that only comes back to wrestling when it helps him, and yet we have no problem popping like champagne on New Years as soon as we see him.

For Your Consideration…The RAW Judicial Review for 11/1/10

“If ya smell….”

We open with Long Island’s finest before seeing the entrance of the overly tanned and awkwardly smiling WWE Champion, Randy Orton. Seriously, his smile makes me think that he’s done something horrible to a puppy before coming to the ring.

The Orton/Barrett match has been dubbed free or fired, which was the same deal they made in Salem for the witches.

Randy stands there for a few minutes to mild applause, which Jerry awkwardly says is a moment he must really enjoy. Orton says that no one can take the title from him, but he can accept it. He can’t accept if he loses because of a crooked referee. As Survivor Series? Nah, never happen.

Orton invites out John Cena “to this ring”, in case there’s some other ring that he was expecting Cena to arrive at. Randy, unless this is WCW World War 3, there’s only one ring. Also, the chances of seeing Firebreaker Chip decrease significantly.

Here comes John Cena who demands that Orton cut him some slack. Cena says that championships come and go and John has a decision to make. If Randy loses, John’s free from Nexus. If Randy wins, John Cena is fired. If it ends in a double disqualification, I think he gets put in a glass box that gets filled with cement. I’m kidding. The WWE would never do that…again.

Randy says that this is Cena’s way of saying he’s going to screw him at Survivor Series. Orton says that if he does screw him, he’ll keep his job but he’ll be the biggest phony in the WWE. Even bigger than Kane, who isn’t even Undertaker’s brother. Orton says that Cena doesn’t deserve to be in his ring, but he can’t leave without asking Wade Barrett for permission because he’s never read the Thirteenth Amendment.

John bitches about having to get coffee for Wade before saying that Barrett may have enough to win the WWE title. Wade doesn’t know about respect. Before John gets a chance to order four fried chickens and a Coke, here comes…

Wade Barrett and the Mid-Card All-Stars. Wade thanks Cena for the kind words and says that he’s going to raise Wade’s hand in victory in a few weeks. John says that things are coming to a head, but he will not go quietly into the night. He will leave Wade a parting gift: he will beat him up. Randy points out that he doesn’t have to wait until Survivor Series, and since Wade has to stand behind seven other guys, he’s going to beat off on him…er…beat on him on PPV. Randy offers him the chance to prove him wrong.

This quasi-Benoit line sets off the GMail. As the WWE Champion, the GMail feels for him. We all want to know what Cena’s going to do, so we should find out tonight. Our main event is Wade Barrett and a partner of his choice versus Randy Orton and a partner of his choice, with John Cena as The Beaver. Or the referee. Jerry promises that we will see what’s on Cena’s mind. The answer? A hat.

Commercial.

Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater are in the ring with their giant penny titles.

Nexus v. Hart Dynasty

So I guess this’ll be the final appearance of the Hart Dynasty. Slater and Kidd start off and Tyson takes him down. Kidd slaps Smith to tag him in, so DH gets fired up with white-hot mild offense. Smith drops the leg on Ginger before hoisting him up for the “Mention His Dead Father” suplex.

Smith and Slater botch something in the ring as Gabriel gets tagged in. Gabriel get some kicks before tagging in Slater. We then get a few more quick tags, because if you can’t actually act like a tag team, just keep tagging until we concede that you are in fact a team.

Justin “Sledgehammer” Gabriel locks in a resthold but Smith breaks free with a belly-to-back suplex. Kidd gets tagged in and he comes out with some dropkicks and hits a neckbreaker for two. Smith dumps Slater out of the ring, while in the ring Tyson dropkicks Gabriel out of the ring. Smith again botches the match by blatantly putting himself in position to eat a dive by Kidd to the outside. This “miscommunication” leads to Gabriel hitting the Quebec Area Code Splash for the pin.

John Cena is in the back before R-Truth wanders in to the shot wearing what looks like a straightjacket. Truth says Cena got bucked before reminding us that they are friends. Cena wanders off in disgust. Can’t say I blame him.

Commercial.

Pee Wee Herman is here tonight. I love it.

Here comes Sheamus. Fun fact: his arms move independent of his body. We get a replay of Santino’s fluke win, now finally seeing that it was because of John Morrison cheating that he won.

“Expec ah taut ah wuz gunna cum ow heah ahn trow a tempah tantrum cuz Santino pulled off da bigges upshet in da history of da duba duba eeye lass week.” The truth is that Santino didn’t beat him because Sheamus beat himself. You heard it here first, Sheamus beats himself. Sheamus dares him to come out, so here comes Santino in another ridiculous t-shirt.

Santino says that he respects Sheamus and he’s a fan of his. Last night he went out for Halloween dressed as Sheamus, and if you didn’t see a pigment joke coming, you have to stop with the Q-Tip when you feel resistance. Santino says that he’s worried about having eaten too much candy, and if he were to wrestle he would vomit. Funny, I had the same feeling at the thought of Santino wrestling. His replacement opponent is…Vladamir Kozlov.

Vlad says that Sheamus talks funny, and “now I crush you.”

Vladamir Kozlov v. Sheamus

Sheamus and Kozlov lock up and Vlad backs him into the corner. Sheamus and Kozlov trade blows as I wonder how anyone could want to see this over Bryan/Ziggler again?

Sheamus delivers some knees in the corner before hitting a horribly telegraphed backbreaker for two. Sheamus starts dropping knees into the skull but Vlad pops up and connects with headbutts and a kick for two. Sheamus hits the Bicycle Kick for the pin before kicking Kozlov out of the ring. I gotta say, I love that subtle heel move.

Sheamus stalks Santino up the ramp so Santino tries to bribe him with candy. Santino pulls out the wallet and offers him singles, which he claims he was going to use to make it rain. He offers him an AmEx card and a check. Sheamus pulls him up for the Razor’s Edge on the stage, but John Morrison comes out to deliver kicks. Clearly he didn’t have time to put on a shirt.

Randy Orton is strolling in the back when Resurrection-Truth pops up and he reminds us again that he and Cena are friends. He’s like that desperate kid who hangs around the cool kids, hoping that if he says they’re all pals long enough that people will think it’s true. Kinda like when Deuce Snuka pretended to be in Legacy. Randy Orton the shows that he’s taken too many blows to the head by making Truth his tag partner.

Commercial.

If your only qualification for a job is the color of your hair, take that job. Who doesn’t want to work in a contrived 80’s sitcom?

We’re back and Mark Henry has what looks like a super teeny tiny cell phone. He’s complaining that things have been rough ever since Evan Bourne, his long-time tag partner for three whole weeks, got injured. The camera pulls out to show that he’s on the phone with Pee Wee Herman, who’s standing next to him. Pee Wee says that he understands before talking about a splinter. Henry says that he still needs to find a partner. Herman says he’d love to be a tag partner. Henry asks for a big hug. We then get Diva Twister. Yup. He promises lots of surprises, and then reveals…Lita. Guess now that Matt’s gone, it’s safe for her to show her face.

Commercial.

Zach Ryder is in the ring as Lawler points out that this is his hometown. I’m pretty sure Long Island is an island and not a town. I was born in Long Island, but I’m pretty sure I was born in an actual city (Valley Stream, to be exact).

Ezekiel Jackson v. Zach Ryder

Jackson muscles Ryder around the ring for a while, so I guess he’s a face. Ezekiel hits that Samba Slam for the quick pinfall. He is a scary looking man. If they book him properly, Ezekiel Jackson could be an asset to the WWE.

Commercial.

Here comes Pee-Wee Herman. He says that he feels raw. I didn’t know the arena had a movie theater. The secret word is “ring”.

Awesome, here comes The Miz, along with the Mizfit. Herman goes for the handshake but it’s a no-go. Miz says he doesn’t like Pee-Wee since he was a He-Man fan. “Why don’t you marry He-Man?” Miz says the secret word a few times, which upsets him. Miz mocks what Herman’s wearing, which is saying something when you consider he isn’t wearing pants. Pee-Wee does the “I know you are, but what am I” before playing the repeat game. Miz points out that he’s Mr. Money in the Bank and he could reduce Pee-Wee to non-concentrate orange juice. Pee-Wee is apparently getting angry and he’s a rebel before busting out “Really, infinity” before telling him to not anger the pee. Herman’s cousin is in the back, and his cousin is apparently The Big Show.

Sure enough, here comes The Big Show dressed like Pee-Wee Herman. Show goozles Miz and Mizfit and muscles them out of the ring. Big Show lifts up Pee-Wee, lifting him up where he belongs.

The GMail goes off and tonight Miz will face The Big Pee-Wee next. The GMail says that tonight’s word is “pain”, and between this and the Sheamus/Kozlov match, I can’t disagree.

Commercial.

The Miz v. The Big Show

Big Show slaps Miz and clubs him down before ramming his head into the turnbuckle to slap him again. Show launches Miz across the ring before…slapping him. Again. Big Show delivers an elbow for two. Miz kicks away at his leg for a while and hits him with punches. Holy crap this is dull. Miz locks in a sleeper, because I guess the energy of this match was getting too out of control. Big Show stands up and drops backwards, flattening Miz. Big Show goes to the second rope for a Vader Bomb, but Miz moves out of the way.

Miz fires back with some kicks and punches. He leaps off the top rope with a double-axe handle. He goes up and drops it a second time. On this third attempt, he drops Big Show for two.

Big Show comes back with clotheslines and a back bodydrop as he does a train noise and charges Miz, but no one’s home. Miz grabs his briefcase to beat down Big Show for the disqualification.

Stand Up for the WWE video package featuring celebrities.

John Cena and Wade Barrett are in the back as Wade tells Cena that tonight he has to sweep and mop the Nexus locker-room. He does realize they’re in an arena and next week it’s a new arena, right? Wade says that when he’s through, he can scrub his back. Um…

Commercial.

Ted DiBiase w/ Maryse v. Daniel Bryan

DiBiase backs Bryan into the corner but he reverses and unleashes some kicks and for the first time in a while, the crowd comes alive. DiBiase takes over and whips Daniel into the corner. Bryan fires back with punches and connects with boots to the face. Teddy knocks Bryan off the top rope to the outside. Daniel slides back in only to get pinned down for two.

Bryan takes DiBiase down for two but Ted kicks out. Bryan goes for another pinfall attempt but Ted kicks out. Bryan does his flip out of the corner before Hulking up. He unleashes some kicks to Teddy before eating a slam for two. Teddy measures him for DreamSteet but Bryan turns it into the Patti LaBelle lock for the submission.

Commercial.

LayCool is here for some reason. They said they feel bad for hurting the WWE Universe and they need a fresh start. They are compassionate people. They say that Natalya is “special”. They will give Natalya a shot at the Tramp Stamp Title at Survivor Series if Natalya can beat Michelle McCool.

Natalya v. Michelle McCool

Natalya goes for a waistlock to start but Michelle brings her down with a leg scissor. Nat hits a nice belly-to-back suplex and hits an elbow to Michelle’s face. McCool pulls Natalya off of the top rope as I try desperately to call this like a straight match.

Michelle locks in a leg scissor but Natalya breaks free and goes for a waistlock. Michelle counters with a suplex but Nat goes for the Sharpshooter. Layla pulls her out of the ring so Natalya tries to Sharpshooter her. LaCool misdirection leads to Natalya getting the pinfall.

We cut to a hospital room with Freddie Prinze Jr. as a doctor. He’s with Vince, who is in a coma. Freddie says it’s a shame that Vince is going to miss the election. Did that just happen or am I hallucinating?

Commercial.

We’re back and Vince is still in a coma. Freddie mentions that Linda spent $50 million on the campaign, which wakes him up from the coma. Vince is covered in bumper stickers before yelling that he hates politics. Prinze tells Vince that they buried The Undertaker, Nexus is stronger than ever, Cena joined Nexus, Paul Bearer’s back, Goldust is getting married and RAW is being run by Pee-Wee Herman. Vince says that the next thing he’s going to tell him is that Daniel Bryan is US Champion. McMahon says he has to go to the bathroom, but he says if Linda can run for Senate, he can run for President. As Vince walks away, we see that his ass is covered by a Blumenthal banner.

It’s revealed that Stephanie wakes up from the dream and we hear the voice of Triple H say that he’s still in a coma and is brain dead.

Is it wrong that I laughed at this?

The referee gets his own entrance. I bet Charles Robinson wouldn’t get this kind of treatment.

Commercial.

Wade Barrett & David Otunga v. Randy Orton & Resurrection-Truth

R-Truth and David Otunga are in the same main event. My head may cave in. Otunga and Orton start it off as Lawler says that David Otunga has a ton of talent. Exqueeze me? Baking powder?

Otunga muscles Orton into the corner and delivers some stomps before taking a shoulderblock. Otunga tags in Barrett, who gets taken down with a clothesline. Randy fires away in the corner as Cena administers a five count. Wade takes advantage of the distraction and gets a roll-up for two.

Otunga gets tagged back in before being hit by the same vintage scoop slam that befell William Henry Harrison, killing him 30 days after his inauguration. Randy rolls David out of the ring and hits him with an uppercut. Otunga reverses Orton and whips him into the steel steps.

Barrett gets tagged in and he unleashes some punches and kicks as R-Truth just stands there getting crunk. Wade locks in a resthold but Randy breaks free with a belly-to-back. Orton does the sloowwww crawwwlll before getting the hot tag to Truth.

It’s now Truth and Otunga as R-Truth hits a hip-hop-toss. Truth then does some minstrel dancing and hits a kick for two. Wade gets tagged in and hits a sideslam for two. Barrett delivers a backbreaker before reverting back to punches. Wade comes off the second rope but Truth moves and we get another sloowwwww crawllll.

Otunga tries to run into the ring to distract Cena, preventing John from seeing the tag. That was a really smart and novel little thing right there. Kudos to you, David Otunga. Delicious granola Kudos for all. Wade Barrett hammers away on Truth before tagging in the fully proportionate David Otunga who gets a two count.

Cole points out that Cena is very vocal, though his enthusiasm is somewhere between office party birthday celebration and porn actor. Otunga and Truth do ANOTHER slow tag and we get the same bit where Orton distracts Cena. Randy then hits the RKO on David Otunga and Truth gets the pin.

Barrett and Cena have words on the entrance ramp as Wade and Randy stare at each other.

I’m off to enjoy my wedding week and my honeymoon. Be back in two weeks. Until then…

This has been for your consideration.