Rather than a history of the performer, this is more of a 2-hour series of candid interviews, mixed in with footage of Cena doing exciting stuff like entertaining the troops, acting in bad movies, and shilling razors. I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate recapping these things enough that I’m not going to bother here, because I’d rather get to the matches anyway.
The matches! All his greatest hits, or at least those which haven’t already been covered elsewhere recently.
US title: Booker T v. John Cena.
From No Mercy 2004. This is the finals of their non-epic best-of-5 series, which would be more meaningful and exciting had the matches been any good. Slugfest to start and Cena takes him down for two. Booker goes to a facelock, but Cena clotheslines him out of the ring. Back in, Booker hammers him down and throws chops, but runs into Cena’s boot and gets clotheslined for two. Spinebuster gets two for Booker, however. They brawl outside and Cena gets sent into the stairs, but then so does Booker. Oh, irony. Back in, Cena gets two. Booker comes back with a sidekick and gets two. Cena gets a crossbody for two in a weird spot, as they fought for the pin. Booker whips him back into the corner again, however. That gets two. Booker hits the chinlock and that lasts for a bit. Cena fights out with a suplex, but gets flapjacked by Booker. That gets two. Booker hammers away as the slow pace continues. Booker tries another sidekick and crotches himself, so Cena comes back. Bulldog and five-knuckle shuffle gets two. Booker catches him with the Bookend for two, however. He stops to get a chair for some reason, then changes his mind and tries the ax kick instead. That misses, and Cena gets two. F-U finishes at 10:19. Slow-paced and dull. *3/4 Cena’s prestigious title reign would of course last all of two days before dropping it to Carlito.
#1 Contender tournament final: Kurt Angle v. John Cena
From No Way Out 2005. This was the finals of yet another derivative tournament to determine who gets a title shot, which was seen in various forms seemingly millions of times through 2004 and then again multiple times in 2005. On the bright side, at least it’s not a battle royale. John Cena was still US champion at this point, and consensus was that Cena needed to go over bigtime and in dominating fashion to get him ready to co-headline Wrestlemania against JBL and carry the World title. Angle takes him down with a headlock to start and hands onto that, preventing Cena from escaping a couple of times. Cena finally brings him into the corner to force a break, and then tries his own headlock. Angle quickly schools him by reversing to his own facelock on the mat, but Cena fights out of it. Angle gets clotheslined to the floor and they brawl onto the announce table, where Cena shows good fire and hammers away on Angle. Back in, Cena gets two. He pounds away in the corner and catches Angle with a clothesline out of the corner, setting up the F-U. Angle wriggles free from that and bails out of the ring. Back in, Cena stomps away in the corner, but Angle cuts him off and reverses another attempt at the clothesline out of the corner, turning it into a german suplex into the turnbuckles. Ouch, man. Angle goes right after the neck now, hitting a snap suplex for two and grinding his arm into the neck on the mat. Backbreaker gets two. Angle stomps away and takes him down with a bodyscissors. Cena fights up out of that and elbows Angle down, but gets caught with another german suplex, which turns into the rolling germans. That gets two. Cena comes back with a flying shoulder tackle, which Cole refers to as his "pound and ground" offense. Notwithstanding that the proper term is "ground and pound", as taken from the UFC, I fail to see how jumping in the air fits the definition of "ground" in the first place. Angle goes to the eyes, but Cena hits him with a spinebuster for two. Angle comes back with the german suplexes again, but Cena catches him with a backdrop suplex into a powerbomb for two. Another try at the F-U is reversed by Angle into a sunset flip for two, and Angle snaps off an overhead suplex to put Cena down again. This allows Angle to hit Cena with an Angle Slam, but Cena reverses out and DDTs him for two. Another try at the F-U, but Angle reverses that into the anklelock. Cena kicks him out of the ring to escape, however. Cena actually goes up and guillotines Angle with a legdrop as he’s coming back in, and gets two. Nice bit of thinking of his feet there. He charges into the corner and hits boot, but recovers with the F-U and gets two. This marked one of the few times someone kicked out of the F-U, in fact. Cena stops to celebrate prematurely, and Angle kicks him in the knee and goes to work on the ankle, getting ready to go for the kill with the anklelock again. He rams Cena’s ankle into the post, and he’s just an absolute master of drawing sympathy heat for Cena, as he applies a leg lock to Cena and forces him to get to the ropes. He keeps stomping the ankle and softens him up with the Angle Slam, leading to the anklelock. Normally this is certain death for any babyface caught in the move, but Cena is the Chosen One and so he gets to fight to the ropes, forcing Angle to switch to the unbreakable heel hook. Cena makes the ropes, however, and the ref gets caught in the middle and knocked out. First ref bump on the night, actually, which is rare for them. Angle goes for Cena’s chain, but gets speared into the corner while thinking it over, and Cena finishes with the F-U at 19:20 to earn the Wrestlemania title shot. Real good effort from Cena here, as Angle always brings out the best in him. Not as technically good as a lot of Angle’s stuff, but the point was to make Cena like a world-beater, and that’s exactly what it accomplished, as he survived all of Angle’s crazy counters and fought out of the unbreakable heel hook to get the clean pinfall. ***3/4
RAW World title: John Cena v. Kurt Angle v. Shawn Michaels
From Taboo Tuesday 2005. Angle attacks both guys to start and pounds Cena down with forearms, but Cena comes back and suplexes him for one. Shawn tries fighting off both guys at once, reversing a suplex on Angle for two, but Cena saves. Angle takes over on them now, but charges Cena and gets dumped, leaving Cena and Michaels to do their thing. Shawn throws chops, then stops to baseball slide Angle, leaving himself open to a backslide from Cena as a result. Shawn plays heelish and chokes him out in the corner, and throws him into an Angle german suplex, as Angle suddenly goes nuts with suplexes and takes both guys out. Shawn reverses the Angle Slam, but Angle turns it into the anklelock, which Shawn kicks out of. Cena catches Angle with the FU, but Shawn breaks it up. Cena cradles Angle for two. Angle sunset flip is blocked by Cena, but Shawn bodyblocks him for two, reversed by Cena for two. Angle and Shawn finally get smart and gang-beat him, which the crowd LOVES, and Angle pounds away. They team up and send Cena into the post to get rid of him, and then team up to put him through the Spanish announce table for good measure.
So it’s time to get down to the business of having an awesome match without him. Nice of you to show up, John, enjoy the match from ringside. Shawn and Kurt immediately turn on each other and slug it out, and Shawn powerslams him for two. Angle comes back with a back elbow and a kneelift, as the crowd is clearly behind him now. Snap suplex gets two. Angle goes to the bodyscissors and slows things down a lot, but Shawn rolls him over for two. He tries to come back, but Angle snaps off the overhead suplex and they head up. Angle’s superplex is blocked and Shawn tries to follow with the flying elbow, but he falls victim to the Pop-Up Superplex for two. Angle pulls down the straps, but Cena returns to ruin things and dumps Angle.
Cena backdrops Shawn and follows with a backdrop suplex, but Angle yanks him out of the ring and tosses him into the crowd. Shawn answers with a somersault plancha onto Angle and they head into the ring again, where Shawn gets the forearm and makes the comeback. Atomic drop and clotheslines and Cena gets drawn into the ring again. Shawn gives him a flying forearm too, but kips up into an Angle belly-to-belly that puts him on the floor. Angle then walks into Cena’s backdrop suplex and five knuckle shuffle. FU is reversed to the anklelock, and the crowd goes absolutely nuts for that. Cena can’t shove him off because Angle is a machine as usual, and it’s heel hook time. However, that leaves Angle open to a flying elbow from Shawn. Superkick goes to Angle, but Shawn gets FU’d at 16:42. *** Cena was WAY out of his league here, like Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts getting married type of out of his league.
RAW World title: Edge v. John Cena
This is their first "real" match in a series that currently sits at 300,000 and counting. Cena pounds Edge and gets a clothesline to put him on the floor, but Edge pulls him out for a quick brawl. Back in, Cena with a sideslam for two. Edge bails and hides behind Lita (at her hot slutty mess peak here), but Cena of course won’t hit a woman and Edge gets the cheapshot. He follows with a baseball slide to put Cena into the front row. Back in, Edge pounds away with knees on the ropes and chokes him down. They slug it out and Edge gets a leg lariat for two and follows with a german suplex, then puts him down with a standing dropkick and out to the floor. Back in, Edge with a missile dropkick for two. They fight for a superplex and Cena sends Edge to the mat and follows with the legdrop for one. Edge charges into the corner and Cena almost gets an FU, but Cena reverses to a rollup for two. Edge puts him down with a big boot and goes up again, but Cena rolls through a bodypress and gets two. Edge with a sleeper, but Cena powers him into the corner to break. Edge sets up for the spear instead, but hits the turnbuckle and walks into a Cena DDT for the double KO. That’s not what this match needed. Cena makes the comeback with the backdrop suplex and Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Lita has the ref distracted. Probably with her awesome rack. FU and STFU finishes at 14:00 to give Cena the title back, however. They’d have awesome matches in the future, but this wasn’t one of them, as it was ultra generic heel offense from Edge and basically just a way to get the belt back on Cena. **3/4
John Cena v. Edge
Cena works a dramatic headlock to start and turns it into a chinlock. Edge slugs him down in the corner to escape and goes to his own headlock, but Cena takes him down with a hiptoss and an elbow for two. Blind charge misses and Edge hits him with a DDT to take over. He fires away in the corner and does a simple cocky heel act to keep it strictly good guy/bad guy, but Cena comes back with a suplex out of the corner for two. Edge clotheslines him down again and drops elbows on the neck, then slugs him down for two. Cena fires back from the apron and goes up, but Edge slugs him to the floor and baseball slides him into the railing, as we take a break. Back with Edge holding a bodyscissors, but Cena powers up and hits the flip neckbreaker for the double KO. Edge recovers first with a big boot for two, but goes to grab a chair and gets rolled up for two. Edge recovers and clotheslines Cena down again, then drops an elbow for two. Leg lariat gets two. Edge goes to a camel clutch, but Cena powers out of it and both guys are out again. They slug it out and Edge goes down, which allows Cena to make the comeback with his shoulderblocks and powerbomb. Five knuckle shuffle and F-U attempt, but Edge reverses to the Implant DDT for two. Edge goes up and Cena catches him with another try at the F-U, but Edge reverses that to the electric chair and sets up for the spear. That misses and the F-U finishes at 13:57. Started slow and simple, but as they adjusted to the heat and atmosphere it picked up and got pretty good for what it was. ***1/4
RAW World tag titles: John Cena & Shawn Michaels v. Edge & Randy Orton
From RAW, February 2007, as Orton is still in his roided physique and has hair. Cena and Michaels were Wacky Tag Team Partners Who Dislike, But Still Respect, Each Other at this point, leading up to their Wrestlemania match. Shawn works on Edge’s arm to start, and it’s over to Cena for a pounding on Orton in the corner. Suplex gets two. Orton fires back with a dropkick and Rated RKO double-teams Cena in the corner. JR & King having an inane discussion about Shawn turning on Marty 15 years previous to this match leads me to think that there’s a market for a new type of promo in wrestling, based on political attack ads. Guys could take footage from years past showing what terrible people they are, complete with ominous narration, and could probably do pretty good business that way. Anyway, Cena is face-in-peril for a bit, but comes back with a bulldog on Orton, selling like he’s just been in a car wreck. So Shawn gets the tag and runs somewhat wild on Orton, dropping the elbow from the top and cleaning house. Superkick on Orton misses and nearly hits Cena, and we have TENSION. Holy shit, they’re fighting each other in the main event of the biggest show of the year, and THEY MIGHT NOT BE GETTING ALONG. No wonder WM 23 is not one of the more widely remembered shows. We take a break and return with Shawn fighting out of a surfboard, but an Edge-O-Matic gets two. Orton comes in with the Garvin Stomp on Shawn and drops a knee for two, and we hit the chinlock. Shawn fights up, so Orton gets the backbreaker for two. Edge comes in with a sleeper as this match continues to disappoint. Shawn drops Edge on the top rope to break, and makes the hot tag to Cena. Five-knuckle shuffle for Orton and he goes for the FU, but it’s BONZO GONZO and the ref is bumped to boot. Shawn hits Edge with the tag belt and gives it to Orton, as everyone is having domestic issues here. Is this TNA or something? Edge walks out, leaving Orton to take a superkick and FU at 13:05. Pretty standard TV fare. **1/2
RAW World title: John Cena v. The Great Khali
This is from One Night Stand 2007, a show that I’ve never seen, probably because it’s got fucking Great Khali in the main event. This is falls count anywhere, probably to give Cena the best possible chance at not stinking up the building with Khali. Amazingly, Khali was still undefeated at this point. Khali lays down the beating in the corner to start and chokes Cena on the ropes. Cena fights up, so Khali puts him down with a high kick and follows with a slam. Cena manages to get him down with the Flashback and goes up, so Khali casually chops him to the floor. Admirable bump taken by Cena there. Khali gets two off that. Cena comes back again, but this time runs into the stairs and gets dumped into the crowd. They fight over to a sound table and Cena hits him with a monitor, but can’t get the FU. Khali continues the ass-kicking, but Cena swings the boom camera and knocks him down for two. Another try at the FU is foiled by that bitch inertia, and Khali throws him onto a conveniently located crane. Cena finally gets his FU off the crane, and that’s enough at 10:28. Not Cena’s best match or anything, but they kept it exceedingly simple and this was totally watchable. **1/2
RAW World title: John Cena v. Bobby Lashley
From the Great American Bash 2007, as the John Cena B-level PPV tour continues. The crowd’s reaction to Cena here is much more solidly positive than I’m used to hearing for him. They do the epic lockup and test of strength to start, both of which Cena loses. Lashley rides Cena to the mat with some amateur stuff, then bullies him into the corner until Cena tries the STFU. Lashley bails and the crowd boos him pretty solidly, which is interesting given that they were trying for the babyface v. Babyface feel here. Cena gets a slam and elbow for two, as the replay shows Lashley doing a leapfrog. Who gives a fuck if Lashley did a leapfrog? Lashley comes back with a uranage suplex and works the ribs in the corner. Sideslam gets two. Lashley whips him into the corner and follows with a delayed suplex for two, finally starting to clue into the fact that he needs to play heel here. Cena comes back with the neckbreaker and follows with the top rope guillotine legdrop, which gets two. Lashley snaps off a gutbuster and hooks him with a bodyscissors on the mat. Cena fights up and gets the backdrop suplex and five knuckle shuffle, but Lashley escapes the FU and powerslams him for two. Lashley comes back with a torture rack, FINALLY playing full heel to the crowd, but Cena hits him with the FU while he’s gloating. That gets two. Lashley is really pissed now and sets up for a spear, but Cena counters into the STFU. Lashley does a really good dramatic crawl to the ropes, however, as this crowd is just crazy into Cena for some reason. Lashley gets the spear out of nowhere for two and JR is going nuts to really sell it. Lashley puts him on top to finish, but Cena reverses to an FU off the top, and that’s that at 14:30. Good drama here, although if Lashley had clued in sooner and played Angry Black Man to really up the crowd, it might have been great. Cena had his working boots on here carrying Lashley to a very credible main event match. ***1/2
RAW World title: John Cena v. Randy Orton
This is from Summerslam 2007, for those (like me) needing a scorecard to remember which of their endless matches are which. I don’t remember this in the least, much like most of 2007. I only kind of recall that Cena had been champion for about 11 months straight at that point and people were wondering when they’d change the damn title. Lockup battle to start and the crowd immediately and violently turns on Cena. For a HEADLOCK. That’s cold, man. Orton comes back with his own, and the fans don’t appreciate that, either. Well it is pretty boring when Orton does it. Cena goes for the STF and Orton makes the ropes, then pounds him down in the corner. So now the RKO fanbase starts going crazy, until Cena comes back with a bulldog for two. Orton clubs him down with a forearm to the back of the head, and that gets two. Cena tries a shoulderblock and wipes out, and Orton sends him into the announce table from the apron, and the crowd’s not really sure how they feel about that. Back in, Orton really punishes him (and us) with the CHINLOCK OF DOOM, complete with O-face to really sell how much he’s enjoying it. Cena powers out, but misses a blind charge and Orton gets two. Orton works him over with the Garvin stomp, but Orton goes back to that chinlock again, and follows with a dropkick for two. JR notes “Orton may win the title with a dropkick!”, and not even he can sell that line with any believability. Orton gets yet another god damn headlock, and NOW I remember this match! This is the match where Orton does a million headlocks and nearly bores the crowd to death. Orton switches it to a sleeper for a bit of a change. Cena runs him into the corner to break and makes the comeback with his usual stuff, and that gets booed halfway to Timbuktu by the hostile crowd. Orton elbows out of the FU and puts Cena down with the backbreaker. Draping DDT gets two. Orton is a slithery, vipery, slithering viper-like thing of some sort, but Cena blocks the RKO, then charges and splats on the floor. They’re really flailing around with this match now, trying to build to a big finish and not accomplishing much of anything because the momentum keeps getting stalled. Cena comes back with a neckbreaker and goes up, but Orton follows and they fight for a superplex. Cena brings him down and follows with the guillotine legdrop, but Orton escapes another FU and sets up again. This time he wants the punt, but Cena moves and hooks the STFU. Orton makes the ropes, and it’s RKO out of nowhere for a huge pop. That gets two. Another try is reversed to the FU for the pin, and Cena retains at 21:22. Way too long, as the last ten minutes were great big match stuff, but they took too much time to get there. ***1/4
From Royal Rumble 2008: John Cena enters at #30 and wins it.
RAW World title: HHH v. John Cena
From Night of Champions 2008. Pretty clear that HHH is the face here. HHH wins the power battle and adds a crotch chop, but Cena goes to the headlock and the crowd even boos THAT. Cena clotheslines him and adds the Marine salute, then tackles him and pounds away. Suplex gets two. Cena gets a shoulderblock, but HHH ducks another one and Cena lands on the floor like a goof. Back in, HHH works on the back and adds a suplex, then drops an elbow. Whip to the corner, twice, gets two. They start a slugfest and the crowd does the "Boo / Yay" thing, but HHH goes up and lands on a boot. Cena comes back with shoulderblocks and the backdrop suplex, but HHH prevents any shuffling. High knee and facecrusher set up the Pedigree, but Cena escapes and hits the neckbreaker. Cena goes up with the top rope legdrop, but HHH fights off the STF. We can’t see him, but HHH can, as Cena walks into the spinebuster. Pedigree is reversed again and HHH hits the floor, acting like he suffered a leg injury. Cena follows by ramming the knee into the post. Back in, Cena takes out the knee and tenaciously hangs onto the leg, fighting off HHH’s escape attempts, but HHH gets the ropes before he can hook the STFU. FU is countered with KICK WHAM PEDIGREE, but it only gets two. I thought only Hulk Hogan and HHH’s own children would be allowed to do that. Cena recovers first and it’s an FU, which gets two. They both slug it out for the big Boo-Yay spot, but Cena hits the backdrop suplex again and reaffirms that we can’t see him. Five Knuckle Shuffle finally hits, but HHH grabs the ropes to block the FU. STFU follows, however, and HHH has to fight for the ropes. Cena drags him back to the middle applies it again, but HHH counters to a nasty crossface. Cena powers up and into the FU, but HHH elbows out and it’s KICK WHAM PEDIGREE to retain at 19:40. Man, Cena’s been choking in the big match all over the place lately. Wasn’t quite the epic "moment" they were hyping, but it was a solid match where no one was really sure who was going over, so it had the drama that it needed. ***1/2
John Cena v. Shawn Michaels
From RAW, February 2009, as we’re finally into the HD era now. This is part of the JBL-Shawn Michaels storyline which in retrospect would have been much better had the payoff not been so terrible. If Shawn wins, JBL is into the Elimination Chamber match. Shawn chops away in the corner and gets slugged down as a result, then ducks out of the ring to escape an FU. We take a break and return with Shawn getting a figure-four, but Cena reverses and gets a belly-to-belly suplex for two. And we hit the chinlock. Shawn fights up, but Cena backdrops him and whips him into the corner. Shawn comes back with the atomic drop and tries to go up, but Cena takes him down with an STF attempt. Shawn escapes, so Cena gets the usual stuff. Shawn, however, CAN see him, and grabs the hand waving in front of his face for a crossface! That’s a great spot. Cena reverses to the STF, but Shawn makes the ropes. He comes back with a sunset flip for two and a clothesline out of the corner. JBL demands that Shawn superkick him rather than go for a flying elbow, but Shawn defies his master and goes up anyway. That allows Cena to shove JBL into Shawn and finish with the FU at 9:47. Good TV match, but I’m not particularly sure why this warranted inclusion. ***
John Cena v. Jack Swagger
From RAW’s draft show, April 2009. These are some really weird match choices. Swagger takes Cena to the mat and rides him with a facelock, but Cena dumps him and gets a clothesline on the floor. Back in, Swagger clotheslines him right back for two. Another clothesline gets two. Cena misses a charge and Swagger goes with a full-nelson. Cena powers out and gets the backdrop suplex and five-knuckle shuffle, but Swagger puts him down with a big boot for two. We take a break and return with both guys down for a count. Cena fights up first and Swagger gets a hurricane DDT that nearly turns disastrous because he can’t hook it properly. Kneelift gets two. Powerslam gets two. He goes for a pump splash, and Cena catches him with the FU and STF to finish at 8:12. **1/2
John Cena v. Big Show
From Judgment Day 2009, yet another B-show that has been rightfully forgotten. Cena is selling a rib injury, what with being thrown through a giant spotlight by Big Show at the previous PPV. Most people would of course be dead, but Cena is just suffering from bruised ribs and doesn’t even miss a show. Show uses his frying pan-like fists to pound on Cena’s ribs for two. Show tosses him out and then runs him into the post. Back in, Show continues pounding the ribs and goes to a bearhug, as his arms are now “tree limb-like” according to Michael Cole. So he’s apparently some sort of creature with trees for arms and frying pans for hands. Cena breaks free, so Show splashes him in the corner and whips him into the other corner. Can Cena possibly overcome these unovercomeable odds? Much like Sammy Davis Jr, YES HE CAN. Show misses a charge and it’s five-knuckle shuffle, then a DDT and STF. Show escapes and clotheslines out of it, then gets a pump splash for two. Another one misses and Cena wants the STF again, but Show is just too big. So he goes up with the guillotine legdrop instead, and still wants the damn STF. Why not just PIN HIM? Show hits him with a powerbomb and sets up for the knockout punch, but Cena hits him with the FU for the pin at 14:55. Really dull stuff, and sadly it lead to another series of dull matches between them. *1/2
John Cena v. The Miz
From RAW, July 2009, the night after their PPV match at The Bash. Winner of this faces HHH in the finals of some sort of tournament thing the next week, with the winner of THAT facing Randy Orton for the title. So our choices are basically Cena v. Orton or HHH v. Orton. There’s your problem. Cena elbows him down and an elbowdrop gets two, but Miz pounds away on the mat. Cena with a fisherman’s suplex for two, and he hits the chinlock. Miz slugs out and comes back with a suplex for two. Miz with a kneelift and neckbreaker for two. He slugs away in the corner and blocks a bulldog, then follows with a neckbreaker for two. And we take a break, returning with Miz holding a sleeper. Clothesline gets two. Miz chokes him out in the corner, and gets an electric chair for two. Miz gets another sleeper, but Cena powers out and makes the comeback with the usual. Guillotine legdrop and STF finish clean at 10:35. Can’t say Miz didn’t get lots of offense. **3/4
RAW World title: John Cena v. HHH v. Shawn Michaels
Shawn immediately superkicks HHH out of the ring for some reason, and goes after Cena with a neckbreaker. He throws chops, but Cena bulldogs him out of the corner and follows with the suplex for two. Shawn gets hung up on the top, allowing Cena to punt him at will and go for the FU, but Shawn turns it into a DDT for two. Cena’s knee is now injured, so Shawn goes to work on it and gets the figure-four. Cena quickly reverses, as Lawler and Striker actually have a halfway interesting conversation about how the move works. Cena bails and Shawn follows with a pescado, as Striker immediately leaves my good books by declaring the D-X fans in the audience to be “The soldiers of fortune”. Have any of Striker’s stupid nicknames ever gotten over? Cena wants to finish Shawn with an FU through the table, but luckily HHH recovers after 6 minutes out cold, and puts Shawn out with a spinebuster instead. “How ironic is that?” wonders Michael Cole. Answer: Not very.
Back in the ring, HHH gets two on Cena while Striker reels off all his nicknames, like Eddie Vedder paying tribute to Dewey Cox. HHH pounds him down for two, and follows with a neckbreaker for two. Blind charge hits boot and HHH wants the Pedigree, but neglects to add KICK WHAM first and thus it’s reversed. HHH fights back with a clothesline for two. They do the boo-yay deal, but Cena comes back with his shoulderblocks and five-knuckle shuffle. Shawn saves HHH from certain doom and gets rid of Cena, and now we begin the Shawn-HHH portion of our program. HHH puts him down with a high knee, but Shawn gets the clothesline and kips up. HHH immediately puts him down with a spinebuster, but continues having no luck getting the Pedigree. Shawn goes up, but Cena cuts him off and tries the guillotine legdrop himself. That misses, so Shawn drops the elbow on him. “This is why we fall in love with this craft!” declares Striker. SHUT UP. Cena recovers and catches HHH with the STF, but Shawn breaks it up with a crossface on Cena. That quickly gets reversed to the STF as the idiot announcers are already declaring this to be the greatest match in history, featuring the three greatest wrestlers in history. Superkick on Cena, and then another superkick on HHH puts him on top of Cena for two. “Everyone on their feet here!” declares Striker, while everyone is clearly sitting down. Way to bring the credibility, Matt. Cena manages to get the FU on HHH, and both Cena and Shawn crawl for the cover in dramatic fashion. Both are covering, but HHH kicks out anyway. Everyone goes for their finish, and Cena gets the FU on Shawn, onto HHH, to finish at 21:12. Cena v. Shawn is great, Cena v. HHH is great, and Shawn v. HHH ranges anywhere from boring to awesome, so the end result was a really good outing from everyone. ***1/2
Love him or hate him, he generally delivers in the big matches. That being said, there’s not many big matches here because most of them were taken by other DVDs. And what’s with the set ending in 2009? It’s a really weird collection of B-level main events and inessential TV stuff, and it’s probably going to only appeal to the hardest of hardcore Cena fans. What is here is pretty good, but I can’t imagine many people wanting to see his match with Great Khali or Big Show again anytime soon. Recommendation to avoid.
Tags: DVD, John Cena, SmarK Rants