Welcome to Inside Pulse Wrestling’s Live Coverage of TNA Turning Point!
The show begins with immediate technical difficulties. This … is TNA! This is also TNA.
MATCH #1: Number One Contenders Match – Ink Inc. vs. Beer Money, Inc.
James Storm and Jesse Neal start it off and the tattooed guys gain early control. Shannon Moore comes in and gets his shots too. The more experienced Beer Money take control of Neal and start working him over in their half of the ring. After a few minutes he makes the hot tag to Moore and he’s a mohawk afire. The match spills to the floor and Moore takes a ride on the boozer cruiser. Back in the ring Beer Money is able to isolate Neal and they hit him with the DWI to get the win and become the number one contenders.
WINNERS – Beer Money, Inc., **
MATCH #2: Falls Count Anywhere – Tara vs. Mickie James
Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne gets interviewed by Christy Hemme before the match. The camera will not stop moving and it’s making me motion sick. The match starts on the floor. They fight for a while and then make their way to the ring to fight some more. Tara dumps Mickie to the floor and she crawls under the ring and comes out the other side and knocks Tara to the floor. They continue the fight throughout the Impact Zone. Then they get backstage and Mickie sprays Tara with water. Yes, really. The weak brawling continues outside as Tenay calls their battles “epic.” They come back inside and fight in the men’s room. Is it 1996? Tenay and Taz laugh through everything, really putting over this heated feud. Madison Rayne comes out of one of the stalls with a fire extinguisher right in Mickie’s face and hits her with the belt. That’s enough to give Tara the pin. Good thing Madison was waiting in the men’s room just in case they fought in there.
WINNER – Tara, 1/2*
MATCH #3: TNA X-Division Title Match – Robbie E w/ Cookie vs. Jay Lethal
Cookie is supposed to get in a shark cage but she refuses so they just start the match anyway and Cookie goes to head backstage. Then, it’s the return no one cares about, as Shark Boy comes out to force Cookie into the cage. Meanwhile Lethal and Robbie are fighting around the ring. Lethal is dominating both in and out of the ring. After a brief shine the champion takes over with his bland offense. I yawn a few times and Lethal comes back, hitting the handspring elbow and the Lethal Combination for two. Cookie tosses something down from the cage and Earl Hebner intercepts it. She then tosses down some kind of hairspray or something, and Lethal catches it and uses it but gets caught. That’s a DQ.
WINNER – Robbie E (by disqualification), *
Cookie celebrates with the title, and Shark Boy makes his way back out. She slaps his stupid face twice and he gives her a terrible Stunner.
MATCH #4: First Blood Match – Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino
Before this match Christy gets a word with Tommy Dreamer. Why is Dreamer still hanging around? I hate this guy. Rhino takes the early advantage as the crowd chants about him sucking. RVD comes back and knocks Rhino to the floor. He hits the spin kick off the apron. Rhino comes back and slams RVD on the entrance ramp. Back in the ring Rhino hits a Gore. He then goes under the ring and brings some weapons in. They brawl some more and RVD gets Rhino down long enough for the Five-Star Frog Splash. He goes to hit Rhino with a trash can but gets punched in the nuts. Rhino follows up with a DDT, as I wonder why Tenay is obsessed with saying “stacked him up” 250 times a show. RVD comes back and hits a trash can assisted Van Terminator to bust Rhino open.
WINNER – Rob Van Dam, *3/4
MATCH #5: TNA TV Title Match – AJ Styles vs. Douglas Williams
Continuing the tradition of interviewing people who are not actually in the match, Christy gets a word with Kaz. They take it down to the mat and exchange holds in the early going. For some reason Tenay and Taz keep calling the Chaos Theory the “Rolling Chaos,” which is irritating. Williams tries the move early on but Styles is able to escape. He stays in control though, both in and out of the ring. Styles makes the comeback and works Williams over, hitting the dropkick for a two-count. He works on the knee and locks on a Figure-Four Leglock. Williams tries to roll out of it and they roll all the way to the floor. Back in the ring Williams hits an exploder for two. Apparently he stacked him up, according to Tenay. You can’t really stack one thing, as far as I know. While I fantasize about Mike Tenay losing his voice, Styles comes back with the moonsault into the inverted DDT, which Taz sells as if he’s never seen it before. I mean it’s a cool move but AJ has been doing it since 2002. AJ hits the Pele to send Williams to the floor. He follows him out and Williams runs Styles into the guardrail and hits the Chaos Theory! Awesome spot. AJ barely beats the 10 count. Williams hits the Styles Clash to win the match and the TV Title!
WINNER – Douglas Williams (new TV Champion), ***1/2
MATCH #6: Full Metal Mayhem for the TNA World Tag Team Titles – The Motor City Machineguns vs. Generation Me
This one should be pretty tough to follow. The fight starts right away in the aisle, and Gen Me takes early control. The Guns come back and the weapons get involved early. As you might expect this is all cool spots and fast paced action. After about 10 minutes of spots and the Guns pretty firmly in control, Shelley climbs up the ladder and if he stood on the second rung from the top he should be able to grab the belts but he thinks he can’t. So the Guns go and get two more ladders and set them on either side of the first one. I’m not sure how that’s supposed ot help. It doesn’t, but the Guns stay in control. They go for a table and set it across the three ladders. Tenay says he’s never seen that before, but Edge & Christian did it at WrestleMania 2000. I mean it’s not like I watch WrestleMania 2000 every day and I remember that. Meanwhile Shelley hits Jeremy with a Sliced Bread #2 off the apron and through a table. That leaves Sabin and Max to climb up to the table platform with chairs in hand. They hit each other’s chairs a few times. Sabin wins the battle and knocks Max down to the mat and then pulls the belts down for the win. I know some people will really like that, but I thought it was terribly contrived and kind of boring.
WINNERS – The Motor City Machineguns, **1/2
MATCH #7: Casket Match – Abyss vs. D’Angelo Dinero
They quickly take the fight to the floor. Dinero is the aggressor early on, still angry about the way Eric Bischoff paid off his own brother to turn on him during last month’s lumberjack match. Back in the ring Dinero goes up top and Abyss slams him right onto the casket. They do more stuff and the crowd seems disinterested. Abyss almost slams the lid shut but Dinero fights out of it. Why do people think WWE misused Dinero again? More boring stuff happens and then Dinero hits the Elijah Express. He rolls Abyss into the casket but before he can slam the lid Abyss punches through the side of the casket right into Dinero’s nuts. No matter, as Dinero sells it for about 3 seconds before going back on offense. Abyss reverses the momentum and slams Dinero into the casket with a Chokeslam and shuts the lid.
WINNER – Abyss, *1/4
MATCH #8: Submission Match – Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe
The technical difficulties continue, as they’re backstage for a Joe/Jarrett promo, and when Gunner & Murphy attack Joe, they cut to a video package for Hardy and Morgan. Then they cut back to the arena and Tenay and Taz start talking, and then they cut right to the Jarrett/Joe video package.
They start off with mat and submission wrestling, which is obviously Joe’s specialty. Joe gets down on the mat and invites Jarrett to come after him. Jarrett goes after the ankle, which given the prematch attack is a smart move. Joe has counters for pretty much everything Jarrett tries. He gets Jarrett outside the ring and makes him tap, but of course he can’t win there. Back in the ring Joe gets another tap out but Jarrett’s leg is under the bottom rope so that doesn’t count either. Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Gunner and Murphy come out to interfere. The crowd chants “Angle.” Jarrett locks on an Ankle Lock and Joe actually gives up. Sigh.
WINNER – Jeff Jarrett, *3/4
MATCH #9: TNA World Title Match – Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Morgan
In the prematch promo, Morgan asks special referee Mr. Anderson to make this a no-DQ match. I didn’t realize referees had that authority. Morgan dominates early on with his power. They take it to the floor, as Taz reminds us that no DQ doesn’t mean no count out. That’s a different bag of animal crackers. Where does he come up with these nuggets? Hardy tries the Whisper in the Wind but Morgan avoids it and continues to dominate. Hardy hits the Twist of Hate out of nowhere for a two-count. TNA – where finishers mean nothing. Morgan comes back with the Carbon Footprint, but it looks like he tweaked his knee. Hardy goes for the Swanton but Morgan gets his knees up. The champ tries to get counted out but Anderson won’t comply. Hardy takes offense and piefaces him, so Anderson fires back and throws him back in the ring. Morgan gets a rollup for two. Hardy comes back with a move that I miss while I’m arguing with Glazer, and Anderson won’t make the three count. The champ uses a chair and continues working the knee. He knocks Anderson to the floor, and then Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint but no one is there to count. Bischoff comes out dragging referee Jackson James, but of course doesn’t want him to make the count for Morgan. Moments later Morgan goes for the Chokeslam on a chair but Hardy reverses it to the Twist of Hate and gets the pin.
WINNER – Jeff Hardy, **
