We kick things off with Kane entering, with a no-nonsense type of gait. Once more, he demands the release of Bearer, as he bellows into the microphone. I’m not sure I like this “human†side of Kane, but he breaks it down, tugging on our heart strings. Once more, Edge appears on the screen. If I see another Paul Bearer decoy, I’m going to lose my mind. Kane runs backstage, where Edge is destroying…another dummy! My poor dog is going to feel my rage…
Commercial.
Come back to Swagger entering, then Kaval. Bell rings, and we’re off.
Jack drives Kaval into the ground, then into the corner. Kaval’s quick offense picks up with his fancy kicks, but the rally is short-lived. Kaval lands awkwardly, as the ref tries to assess the situation, his right ankle appearing to be the issue. Wow, how obvious. Swagger zones in on the injured ankle. A few chops from Kaval, shifting the momentum. Rolling liger kick from Kaval after a few short kicks, his lead foot doing most of his talking, going for a pinfall for two. He crawls his way to the top rope, but Swagger brings him back down. Gets the Ankle Lock, Kaval taps.
Grade: C-
Not great, not bad. Both are pretty great, but there just wasn’t anything that stuck out to me as great.
Mic in hand, Swagger explains his greatness, and shows the recap of his match against Kofi, and some other stuff. Yeah.
We’re given the stats of Hornswoggle and the Eagle/Chavo. No. No. NO.
Commercial.
We come back, and it’s really happening. I rarely refuse to report on a match, but this will not poison this review. Next!
Commercial.
Teddy is chatting with the new tag champs (still in shock, by the way) Santino and Kozlov. Chavo stumbles out, challenging them to a match.
A quick background on Kofi Kingston, and then to Todd Grisham interviewing Dolph. He is the greatest, apparently. Can’t say I disagree.
Commercial.
Kofi’s out, Dolph’s out.
Both men pounce as soon as the bell rings, title on the line. They trade some punches, Kofi goes for TiP, but Dolph gets away, as he rolls out and we go to…
Commercial.
Come back and it’s still back and forth. Dolph maintains the pace, keeping Kofi down. Dolph is launched into the turnbuckle, and both men separate to collect themselves. Kofi goes for the SOS, misses. Goes for the Boom Drop, but as Dolph rolls away, Kofi lands a solid kick, maintaining control. Kofi to the top rope with an insane dropkick, pin for two. Some more high-impact offense, but still only a two-count on the pin after a tall crossbody. Sleeper hold is locked in, but Kofi fights out, only to be sent into the steel ring post. As Kofi goes to make his move, Swagger appears and attacks Kofi, calling for a disqualification.
Grade: C+
These two were nonstop the entire time they were facing each other, but there was still a bit to be desired. They did everything right, but nothing knocked my socks off.
Swagger locks in the Ankle Lock on Kofi before being forced out by officials.
Edge is hanging out on some sort of pillar, catapulting a wheelchair and pissing Kane off some more. God, these are getting old.
Commercial.
Chris Masters in the ring, for a Masterlock Challenge! Out comes Cody Rhodes. Cody calls for the antibacterial wipes, and cleans the chair. Well, can’t say that’s a bad idea. Sits down, but retreats to pull out a nail file. Masters tosses it out, and gives him a quick pat on the cheek, enraging the Dashing One. Masters grabs Cody by the…nose? He motions for his jacket, but Masters charges, forcing the Masterlock on him, and Cody proceeds to pass out like a college freshman.
Commercial.
Santino and Kozlov enter for their match, then Chavo. His partner turns out to be…Drew McIntyre.
Bell rings. Drew roughs up Santino before Kozlov tags in, taking care of Drew. Once he knocks Drew down, Chavo takes advantage of a blind ref and attacks Kozlov, then tags in. Kozlov finally gets the upperhand, and in comes Santino. Drew lands a headbutt, goes for Futureshock, but Chavo tags himself in. He goes for the Frog Splash, but the knees come up. Cobra, roll up, and victory.
Grade: D-
I love these guys, don’t get me wrong. But it’s more a comedy routine than anything else. And it was really short. Oh well, it was entertaining enough. Just not what you’d expect from the tag champs.
Chavo and Drew argue in the ring, and Drew hits the Futureshock on Chavo. Then retreats. Interesting!
In case we forgot, we relive tonight’s Kane/Edge drama, and then a medley of all the Kane/Edge/Mysterio/del Rio shenanigans.
Commercial.
Recap of Monday’s Miz/Randy stuff, then LayCool backstage, then…you guessed it!
Commercial.
Layla enters. Nattie enters, and Beth!
Bell rings, and oh jesus they are flipping all over the place. The Divas champ found her way outside of the ring, where Layla attacked. Beth provided security, keeping Michelle away. And the fight continues. Double clothesline, Nattie goes for the Sharpshooter, Layla reaches the rope but is dragged away (along with Michelle) and she taps.
Grade: C
They were given decent time, allowed an actual finish, looked great, and Kelly Kelly was nowhere in sight. Works for me!
Commercial.
Rey enters. Edge enters. Alberto enters. Kane’s music starts, but no Kane. Out comes Teddy, and this will be a handicap match.
Bell rings. Rey kicks it off. Poor Alberto is getting his ass kicked as Edge tags in, great team work between the two as they tag frequently. 619 position, but Alberto rolls out of the way. And, late to the party, Kane comes charging out. Edge and Kane duke it out by the ramp, and then disappear. Rey is confused, letting Alberto charge and shift the momentum. He lands a kick to Rey’s head that launches the Superstar outside of the ring. It takes no time at all for Rey to get fired up, and even less time for del Rio’s backbreaker to Rey. Suddenly, a 619 connects, for three!
Grade: B-
A lot went on, and these two were really on their game. It was strange for Edge to disappear so quick, but overall it was great. I really liked how quick the finish was, barely giving you a chance to predict the next move.
Immediately to backstage, revealing that Paul Bearer is tucked away atop a ladder. Kane runs in, assuming it’s another dummy, knocking down the structure over a railing. Turns out, it was Bearer! The shock is difficult to suppress. “I told you,†Edge mutters.
Credits roll.
