This Week in ‘E – …And the Slammy Goes To… (WWE Raw, John Cena, The Miz, David Arquette, Randy Orton)

The Slammys are in the books, the WWE is building to a stacked amount of shows at the year’s end and David Arquette has become the most promoted former WCW Champion in a long time.

Opening Witty Banter
You know what, I had a really great weekend. Caught up with some old friends, made some new friends and let go of some baggage and tried to make peace with some things in life. Plus I got blind drunk both Friday and Saturday night, spent a lot of money and may have messed up another phone. Eh the good far outweighed the bad this weekend and I can’t complain right now. I think I’m gonna try this new positive outlook thing in regards to life and see how that goes. Heavy stuff for an intro package, huh?

Let’s take some ‘E…

The News of the Week
Last night Monday Night RAW, live from New Orleans, Louisiana, hosted the 2010 Slammy Awards, the third of its kind in its recent revival. Much like the previous two years, an award podium was set up on the entrance stage as absurd awards were given out in between actual wrestling matches.

Here are the results from tonight’s show.

David Arquette, yeah that one, opened the show by presenting the award for Shocker of the Year. He reminded everyone of his wrestling past as a former WCW World Heavyweight Champion and cut a promo.

Shocker of the Year:
The Nexus debuts

other nominees:
The Miz cashes in Money in the Bank, becomes WWE Champion
Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho in the head
Paul Bearer turns on The Undertaker

Wade Barrett accepted on the award on behalf of The Nexus. This led to the anonymous RAW GM to book Barrett against The Big Show. Big Show won the match by count out when Barrett purposely left the ring and took his Slammy with him.

Despicable Men Award (presented by Kelly Kelly, Tyson Kidd & Jackson Andrews):
CM Punk sings “Happy Birthday” to Rey Mysterio’s daughter

other nominees:
Drew McIntyre faces and humilates Teddy Long
Kane buries The Undertaker alive
Mr. McMahon makes truce with Bret Hart, then kicks him in the groin

Kofi Kingston & WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (with The Bella Twins) beat Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) & WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero). Kingston pinned Ziggler after hitting Trouble in Paradise.

Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year (presented by WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov):
Pee-wee Herman vs. The Miz
Herman then gave a heartfelt thank from a satellite location.

other nominees:
Wayne Brady gets RKO’d by Randy Orton
Mike Tyson punches out Chris Jericho
William Shatner sings WWE Entrances

Cody Rhodes pinned Mark Henry after a Beautiful Disaster and a second rope knee to the back.

Holy %&^*%&* Move of the Year (presented by Jerry “The King” Lawler & Vickie Guerrero):
John Cena sends Batista onto a car and through the stage with two Attitude Adjustments

other nominees:
Kofi Kingston hits Drew McIntyre with a leg drop off ladder through announce table
Randy Orton delivers RKO to a flying Evan Bourne
John Morrison dives off set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz

Wade Barrett came out to accept the award for Cena being he is still technically fired. He called Cena out, knowing he was somewhere in the arena. Cena came out and Barrett agreed to rehire him on two conditions. One, he faces Barrett in a Chairs match at the upcoming TLC pay per view, and two, he faces David Otunga tonight. The Nexus then attacked Cena en masse.

Arquette then returned to present the Fan Reaction of the Year. It was just four random shots of fans in the crowd and a solid excuse to bring back to show the little girl who looked so angry after The Miz won the WWE Title a few weeks back. Sure enough they bring the little girl out to accept her award. Naturally The Miz and Alex Riley interrupt her. The RAW GM interrupted again and booked The Miz against Rey Mysterio right now.

The Miz pinned Rey Mysterio after a small package due to distraction and interference from Alex Riley, David Arquette and Alberto Del Rio.

The RAW GM then booked Randy Orton in a handicap match against Riley and Arquette later in the evening.

“Oh Snap” Meltdown of the Year (presented by Edge & Christian):
Edge destroys the Raw GM’s computer

other nominees:
Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s trophies
Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm with a steel chair
Batista quits WWE

John Morrison and Sheamus battled to a quick double disqualification. Post-match, the RAW GM booked the two men in a rematch at TLC, in a Ladder Match with the number one contender status for the WWE Title on the line.

Knucklehead Moment of the Year (presented by JTG & William Regal):
LayCool gets beaten by Mae Young

other nominees:
Big Show unmasks a bald CM Punk
Santino Marella gets out-danced by Vladimir Kozlov
Beth Phoenix eliminates The Great Khali from the Royal Rumble

In a Divas battle royal to determine Diva of the Year, Michelle McCool won the match after eliminating WWE Divas Champion Natalya Neidhart. Other participants included Layla, Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, Tamina, Maryse, Nikki & Brie Bella, Melina, Rosa Mendes and Kaitlyn.

Post-match, the RAW GM booked Natalya and Beth Phoenix against LayCool (Layla and Michelle McCool) in a tag team Tables match at the TLC pay per view.

Edge pinned Jack Swagger after hitting a spear.

WWE Moment of the Year (presented by The Big Show):
The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in Michaels’ final match

other nominees:
Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind with a lead pipe
Edge Spears Chris Jericho through the barricade
John Cena counts 1-2-3 as Orton defeats Barrett and Cena is fired from WWE

Michaels cut a taped thank you message from an undisclosed location.

Randy Orton beat Ales Riley and David Arquette in a handicap match. Post-match The Miz attacked Orton but it led to Orton powerbombing Arquette through a table.

Michael Cole then came out to present “…and I quote” Line of the Year. They showed a montage of various quotes and lines from over the past year. Cole then said he won the award himself and went into a rambling thank you speech before being cut off by the shut up music.

Superstar of the Year (presented by Teddy Long):
John Cena

other nominees:
The Miz
Randy Orton
Kane
Rey Mysterio
Edge

John Cena made David Otunga tap out the STF. Post-match, Cena wore out Otunga with a chair while Wade Barrett looked on from the entrance ramp.

Prior to the Slammy Awards airing live on RAW, the company handed out Slammys in then other categories. Here is that list.

Best Performance by a Winged Specimen:
Monday Night Raw chicken

Best Use of Exercise Equipment:
Rosa Mendes’ use of a Shake Weight

Most Menacing Haircut:
Tyler Reks

Best Family Values:
Kane destroys Jack Swagger Sr. as his son looks on

Superstar/Diva Most in Need of Makeup:
Sheamus

The “Cole in Your Stocking” Award:
Daniel Bryan attacks Michael Cole on WWE NXT

Outstanding Achievement in Baby Oil Application:
“Dashing” Cody Rhodes

Frequent Tweeter Award:
Goldust

Best WWE.com Exclusive TV Show:
WWE NXT

Most Annoying Catchphrase:
Zack Ryder for “Woo, woo, woo, you know it.”

I have to say of the recent three-hour shows this was my least favorite, but then again maybe it was just burnout. It was still a fun show but I did not like the way the Cena-Nexus stuff ended up. I feel like they’ve dropped the ball a couple different times in regards to the mileage they could get out of the story and all the twists and turns that could have happened. I’m now anxious for my favorite time of the wrestling season – Royal Rumble, which kicks off the creative high point leading into WrestleMania.

Goldust had his shoulder surgery and will be out 5 – 6 months. His autobiography still comes out today.

Who would have guesses that Dustin Rhodes would have become relevant again in 2010, putting on stellar matches and once again making the Goldust character entertaining and relevant once again. I await his return.

Speaking of injuries, Kaval had an MRI recently on his left ankle but no real results have been released yet.

You know what, injuries are never good but Kaval timed his pretty well. He was floundering on SmackDown, not having made the impact that his feloow NX alums have. Perhaps some time away and come back reinvented again, away from the NXT mantra will be in his best interest.

Speaking of rookies, Tyson Kidd’s new giant is called Jackson Andrews, a WWE developmental guy who signed with the company earlier this year and was originally trained by Booker T.

The giant/smart ass thing has worked well in the past, with Michaels and Diesel as the standard bearer for the gimmick, may as well see if it works better than it did for Brian Kendrick/Ezekiel Jackson and Carlito/Matt Morgan.

Speaking of developmental, WWE officials are talking to pretty much everyone about being involved in the new Tough Enough. Apparently, they will be using a lot of signed talent for this one, and not just unknowns like the original show did. Casting should end this month, with the show debuting spring 2011.

So that’s where Seth Rollins, Richie Steamboat, Damian Sandow, Donny Marlow, Bo Rotunda, Wes Brisco, Mason Ryan and Xavier Woods are going to end up.

Speaking of USA Network, USA boss Bonnie Hammer took the number three spot in The Hollywood Reporter’s Women In Entertainment Power 100 list, beating out Oprah Winfrey, who took 4th. You can check that list out here.

When we are talking the most powerful woman in the wrestling industry, Ms. Hammer has to be ahead of Stephanie McMahon and Dixie Carter right?

Speaking of her influence, it can be seen in the upcoming WWE television shows appearing on the USA Network going into Christmas.

* Last Night: WWE Monday Night Raw (LIVE) on USA from 8-11PM ET
* December 14th: WWE NXT on WWE.com at 10PM ET
* December 16th: WWE Superstars on WGN from 8-9PM ET
* December 17th: WWE SmackDown on SyFy from 8-10PM ET
* December 18th: WWE Tribute to the Troops on NBC from 9-10PM ET
* December 19th: WWE TLC PPV on PPV (LIVE) from 8-11PM ET
* December 20th: WWE Monday Night Raw on USA from 9-11PM ET
* December 21st: WWE SmackDown on USA (LIVE) from 8-10PM ET
* December 21st: WWE NXT on WWE.com at 10PM ET
* December 22nd: WWE Tribute to the Troops (two hour version) on USA from 8-10PM ET
* December 23rd: WWE Superstars on WGN from 8-9PM ET

That’s a whole lotta wrestling coming up if you are into that.

The Road to…TLC
TLC Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Edge v. Kane (c)

Tables Match for the WWE Championship
Randy Orton v. The Miz (c)

Chairs Match
John Cena v. Wade Barrett

Ladder Match for the Number One Contendership for the WWE Title
John Morrison v. Sheamus

Triple Threat Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship
Kofi Kingston v. Jack Swagger v. Dolph Ziggler (c)

Chairs Match
Rey Mysterio v. Alberto Del Rio

Tag Team Tables Match
Beth Phoenix & Natalya Neidhart v. LayCool

Wrestler of the Week
Week of December 6 – 12: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov
The comedy duo of Marella and Kozlov outlasted Mark Henry & Yoshi Tatsu, The Usos and The Nexus to win the WWE Tag Team Titles. While giving the Tag belts to a comedy duo shows what the comedy truly thinks of the tag division. It is also telling that Marella is now two-thirds of the way towards the vaunted Triple Crown. It’s also telling that two years ago Kozlov was a legit World Title contender and now it’s considered an upset when he wins the Tag Titles. I guess this means we get a double dose of these two now that they can be a part of SmackDown as well.

RAW’s On Tonight!
Okay RAW was actually on last night but after talking it over with Glazer we decided to postpone this a day so that I could cover the Slammys.

On Last Week’s Episode…
SmackDown

Superstars

NXT results and breaking holds

RAW results, thoughts and judicial review

How They Rated
Superstars (12.2.10) – .52

SmackDown! (12.3.10) – 1.71

A.M. RAW (12.5.10) – .31

RAW (12.6.10) – 3.1

This is Boring, What Else is There to Read?
Logan watches Nitro so you don’t have to.

Glazer and Ziegler talk year end WWE awards.

Mark has been a columnist for Pulse Wrestling for over three years now, evolving from his original “Historically Speaking” commentary-style column into his current Monday morning powerhouse known as “This Week in ‘E.” He also contributes to other ventures, outside of IP, most notably as the National Pro Wrestling Examiner for Examiner.com and a contributor for The Wrestling Press. Follow me on Twitter here.

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