Gulliver’s Travels – Review

Reviews, Theatrical Reviews, Top Story

Black is NOT the new big.

This time every year, film fanatics anticipate not only presents under the tree but presents at the box office as well. All year round, we hear of the best films at festivals and art houses and if we’re good boys and girls, those films might get a wide release. This year we have Black Swan, True Grit, Blue Valentine, and The Illusionist. Sadly, like the lone gag gift at a white elephant exchange, we also have Gulliver’s Travels.

This re-telling of the classic 18th century novel stars Jack Black as Lemuel Gulliver, a lowly mail room worker with a debilitating crush on the travel editor, Darcy (Amanda Peet). In order to impress her, he copy/pastes travel articles from the internet and passes the work off as his own. He lands an assignment to cover the Bermuda Triangle, and there his boat is shipwrecked on the island of Lilliput.

The people of Lilliput are very small (Jonathan Swift’s book says they are 1/12 Gulliver’s size) yet extremely efficient and they waste no time imprisoning Gulliver. But Lilliput’s enemy attacks their palace, putting the Princess (Emily Blunt) and the King and Queen (Billy Connolly, Catherine Tate) in danger. Gulliver escapes his shackles with the help of Horatio (Jason Segel) and saves the Lilliputians from harm; they quickly make him their hero.

However, their hero isn’t noble. In fact, he’s a selfish liar who has no redeeming qualities at all.

Jack Black’s Gulliver lies to Darcy, the supposed woman of his dreams, in order to get close to her. Then in Lilliput, he fabricates his life back in America, saying he was “President the Awesome”. He makes the Lilliputians build him a mansion, and he teaches them scenes from movies such as Star Wars and Titanic, saying that they are all part of his real life.

If you’re thinking this sounds funny, it really isn’t. Gulliver saves the palace from the rival country, yes. But by putting out a fire with his urine. When the Princess asks the General of the Lilliputian army why he loves her, he points to her breasts. Her response is, “That’s inappropriate”. This response could be said about any single joke in Gulliver’s Travels. The screening audience barely laughed during the entire film. There is also enough language in the movie that I still can’t believe it’s rated PG, even though I’ve double checked.

Jason Segel is the sole redeeming quality of the movie, and his remarkable ability to act like he wants the movie to succeed. Which is more than anyone else does.

Gulliver’s Travels was converted to 3D after filming, so the 3D effects are disappointing. The best shots of the film are of a miniature scale New York City during the opening credits sequence.

Jack Black is due for another hit movie. He can be funny and charismatic, but movies like this and 2009’s Year One aren’t helping his case. Personally, I had high hopes for Gulliver’s Travels and the Tenacious D frontman. Looks like we’ll have to wait for next year’s Kung Fu Panda 2 to get a good performance out of the actor.

Gulliver’s Travels opens on Christmas Day, like the re-gifted present from your distant cousin who you don’t know. What’s really disappointing is that there will be families who have just finished opening presents around their Christmas trees and fireplaces, getting bundled up to see a movie together. Gulliver’s Travels has enough foul language and inappropriate humor to make everyone’s hearts two sizes too small.

Jenny is proud to be the First Lady of Inside Pulse Movies. She gives female and mommy perspective, and has two kids who help with rating family movies. (If they don't like 'em, what's the point?) She prefers horror movies to chick flicks, and she can easily hang with the guys as long as there are several frou-frou girlie drinks to be had.