What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – March 26, 1994

WWF Superstars

-It is announced that Bret “the Hitman” Hart won the WWF championship at WrestleMania X. We also get a new Superstars theme to replace the previous one that looked like it came out of the late 1980s.

-Vince McMahon and Jerry “the King” Lawler are in the booth.

-Opening Contest: Lex Luger vs. Dwayne Gill:

Luger comes to the ring in a foul mood and he pounds on Gill in the corner. Luger gives Gill a gorilla press slam and finishes him with a Rebel Rack at 1:05. After the bell, Luger maintains the hold for a few seconds until the referee convinces him to release it.

-McMahon narrates highlights of the Luger-Yokozuna title match at WrestleMania.

-Tatanka and Kwang are shown getting ready for their match backstage.

-Diesel vs. John Chrystal:

Shawn Michaels isn’t in Diesel’s corner this week, but McMahon doesn’t provide an explanation for why that’s the case. Diesel chokes Chrystal on the ropes and gives him Snakes Eyes. Diesel puts the audience to sleep with some slow and plodding offense before finishing Chrystal with a big boot and Jackknife at 2:24. It’s worth mentioning that this is when Diesel used to fall to the canvas with his opponent when delivering the Jackknife.

-Irwin R. Schyster gives us reasons why you should pay your taxes and why people don’t pay their taxes. He says if you don’t pay your taxes that he will put your kids to work and take their allowances. I think Congress banned that in the early 1900s.

-Kwang (w/Harvey Wippleman) vs. Tatanka:

Kwang attacks Tatanka from behind and spits mist into the air. A Kwang blind charge eats buckle and Tatanka delivers a top rope chop for two. Tatanka catches Kwang with a swinging neckbreaker when he puts his head down too early for two. A second blind charge from Kwang eats buckle and Tatanka schoolboys him for two. Tatanka goes after the arm, but Kwang fights back and a spinning heel kick sends Tatanka for the floor. Outside, Kwang pounds away as we go to a commercial break.

When we return Kwang has Tatanka in a nerve hold and the crowd works up a “USA chant.” Now why would chanting for the government that took away Tatanka’s family lands motivate him to do better? After over a minute of nerve hold action, Kwang takes a different approach and delivers a leg drop for two. Kwang goes back to the nerve hold and after a while IRS comes out and yells at Tatanka on the house mic that he hasn’t paid taxes on his tribal headdress. As Tatanka makes a comeback and knocks Kwang out of the ring, IRS inspects the headdress which causes Tatanka to come outside and brawl with him. A double count out is the result at 6:53 shown. This match started off on the right note, but once Kwang started locking in his nerve holds it went downhill really fast. Rating: ½*

-The Smoking Gunns vs. Rich Meyers & Jason Headings:

Albert Dilts is our guest ring announcer and he’s more interested in putting himself over than announcing the match. Billy and Meyers start and Billy wins their opening exchange with a clothesline. Headings gets the blind tag when Meyers is in the ropes and catches Bart with a headscissors. A criss cross sequence leads to a Bart dropkick. The Gunns hit a double side Russian leg sweep for two. I thought that was the finish. The Gunns pound away on Headings and a super Sidewinder finishes at 3:30. This went on way too long after Headings lost the criss cross sequence.

-Todd Pettengill recaps WrestleMania X.

-Owen Hart vs. PJ Walker:

Owen and Walker go through a wrestling sequence and after some flips, twists, and turns Owen comes out on top with a clothesline. Owen heels it up as he pounds on Walker and the crowd doesn’t take kindly to his taunts. Walker reverses a take to the buckle, but Owen blasts him with a spinning heel kick and locks in the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:46. There wasn’t a lot of energy in this squash and considering Walker’s abilities I thought that it would be a more competitive match.

-Johnny Polo joins McMahon in the booth and Jeff Jarrett comes by to remind everyone that he’s going to fight Thurman “Sparky” Plugg on next week’s show.

-Tune in next week to see Jeff Jarrett collide with Thurman “Sparky” Plugg! Also, Razor Ramon, Doink, and the Earthquake will be in action.

The Final Report Card: This was a pretty boring show. The squash matches were bland and the only storyline development we got was for an impending IRS-Tatanka feud that I’m not that excited to see. Until the King of the Ring qualifying matches hit we will probably be in a holding pattern and I can’t say that I’m excited about that.

Show Evaluation: Thumbs Down

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