Wednesday Morning Backlash: John Morrison, WWE Royal Rumble 2011, Lawler/Cole, Undertaker/Sting

Columns, Top Story

by Penny Sautereau-Fife:

I’m a bit worried about John Morrison right now. The past couple months he’s been progressing so well, getting a real substantial push, showing he can finally work the story of a match and not just be a spot monkey. He was finally starting to look like he could seriously be moving up the card to be a legitimate main-eventer.

And then he made my wife and I, and millions of others, in unison the world over, scream “Holy shit what the fuck that was fucking awesome” at our screens on Sunday, and all of a sudden it feels like he’s all about the cool spots again.

In fairness, the Rumble and Raw were just two events, and both nights he was in a match that really doesn’t leave any room for enough story for everyone to have one. So my fear may be premature. I freely admit that.

But as awesome as that spot on Sunday was, (seriously, you all know what I’m talking about, I don’t even need to elaborate), it has become this week the ONLY thing anyone is really talking about in relation to Morrison. Therein lay my fear. I’m afraid the buzz surrounding that spot will convince Vince and UnCreative to decide Morrison is better used as a Shelton Benjamin-esque spot guy to pop the crowd with ooo ahh moments and forget about giving him any serious main-event push or letting him continue to evolve into a fuller more well-rounded worker as he has been of late.

Here’s hoping it’s just a jaded smark’s paranoia. I’d love to be wrong about this.

Anyway, onto my random rambling about the past week’s events.

I enjoyed the Rumble match this year, moreso than last year (except for Punk’s mid-match promo). Like many I was skeptical of the 40 man expansion, but it worked surprisingly well, and I liked that Punk’s Nexus house-clearing and the need to get both Big Zeke and Batistette over as monsters by having them each single-handedly elimate existing monsters, thus avoiding too much deadwood in the match as usual AND the obligatory “gang up on xxxxx” spots, there weren’t really too many lulls to bore me into bathroom breaks, or vajazzling out of desperation for something interesting to happen.

Er, forget I said that.

And yes, I’ll go there. As one of the Pulse writers said the internet got a collective hard-on for Punk/Danielson/Regal, so too did I get moist over this wet dream of wrestling. Well, figuratively at least, they ARE all men after all. But still, watching these three put on a clinic and stiff the hell out of each other was a thing of beauty and damn but I wish it could have lasted longer.

I must admit to actually being a little disappointed that Triple H was being honest in interviews about him NOT being at the Rumble as a surprise entrant. I can’t explain why. I’d much rather he quietly retire and take over for Vince so someone who still actually has some respect for WRESTLING can be running the show. And he really doesn’t need to accomplish anything else as an onscreen talent. So exactly why I missed him turning up in the Rmble I can’t quite say, but somehow him not showing up to toss Sheamus out felt almost wrong. Maybe his long abscense has actually made me miss seeing him.

The strange dark promos on Raw? Yeah, we all know it’s likely Taker coming back. But I will join the consencus here and say I’d LIKE it to be Sting if at all possible, if only for the history-making WTF moment it wll cause seeing him walk out to a WWE ring after all these years.

I’m kind of on the fence at this point on the whole Danielson/Gail Kim/Bella Twins fued. Right now it doesn’t seem to do him OR Gail any real favours, but I’m willing to take a wait and see approach to it.

Booker and “Diesel” showing up was kind of ruined by the Pulse reporting the signing two days beforehand, but it was still nice to see them pop a crowd. That being said, I don’t want to see either man anywhere NEAR the Title picture, or even the main event scene. Booker seconding Stone Cold on Tough Enough works fine for me, and Nash, well, he’s best used in a managerial fashion these days. He can still talk just fine, but for the love of fuck keep him out of active competition. I have Fibromyalgia and the worst flare-ups I have STILL aren’t as painful as watching Nash trying to work a match with shot knees. He makes Big Show into Danielson by comparison.

Finally, I’m hoping there is a Lawler/Cole pay-off of some sort at Wrestlemania, that results in Cole getting beaten so badly, even if wrestlescripted, that he’s unable to appear on tv for minimum 3 months. Conversely, I almost evilly hope that Lawler shoots on the irritating nasal whine and puts him legit out, for much much longer. The man is worse than X-Paqc heat, some of his crap makes me change the channel even if I’m otherwise enjoying the match at hand. I can’t imagine I’m the only one who flips to Lie To Me to escape Cole’s voice, and that is NOT good for the WWE’s bottom line.

See you next week. I’d give a witty send-off but Fran’s been awake 32 hours and I need to go find some horse tranq before she starts painting the mice.

Glazer is a former senior editor at Pulse Wrestling and editor and reviewer at The Comics Nexus.