By Anthony Zinzi
So February is here again – possibly the most boring month of the year the second the Super Bo, er, “Big Game†ends. We’re into the dog days of the hockey and basketball seasons but their respective trade deadlines are a couple weeks away, so things are just plodding along. College basketball is fixing to heat up, if you care. Pitchers and catchers report next week, which is exciting, but who can watch guys play long toss and do PFP’s all day? And, on top of all that, Monday’s Valentine’s Day…sponsored by Hallmark and Russell Stover. What’s a bored, single guy to do? Well, besides that, perverts.
Here’s an idea – how about checking out the latest pay per view from the land of confusion that is TNA? Yes, I’m doing the Genesis/Phil Collins puns…it’s easy and lazy, just like me.
When compared to last month’s Genesis, TNA has swung the pendulum in the complete opposite direction this month, leaving us with an incomplete card leading up to the go home show. It’s understandable, considering that we’re still in the afterglow of Fourtune showing their true colors as “They,†(again). So let’s review and preview:
“The Pope†D’Angelo Dinero v. Samoa Joe
Joe sought to expose Pope for being a fraud, stalking and recording him. Pope took exception to it and ran his mouth. Now Joe is pissed and wants a piece of Pope.
Everything about this program seems off, though I’m glad they’re being used.
The in-ring story: Joe is too physical for The Pope, so expect Pope to hit and run to try and wear Joe down.
Who goes over: Joe’s the biggest chump this side of Sting, so there will be some sort of shenanigans, leading to a Pope victory.
Street Fight
Bully Ray v. Brother Devon & Devon’s Two Sons
Team 3D could have retired on top as champions, leaving the business as the most decorated tag team in sports entertainment history. But something happened on the way to heaven, and the once proud teammates turned into bitter rivals. Bully Ray escaped Genesis with a DQ win, Devon having been caught by the ref using Ray’s chain. On last night’s Impact, Devon was able to put Bully Ray through a table with an assist from his sons. Enraged, Ray issued the challenge to Devon and his sons.
The in-ring story: A continuation of the story told last month, where Devon has Ray’s number once he’s in the ring in a match. Devon will try his best to keep his sons out of the way, as they’re not trained, while Ray will use them to get the advantage by playing to their emotions.
Who goes over: Ray’s able to get the better of Devon, probably due to Devon’s sons turning on him. Ray puts Devon through the table for the victory to even it up. Best two of three tables match to end the feud.
Triple Threat Number One Contender’s Match for TNA X Division Title
Max Buck v. Jeremy Buck v. Robbie E.
Three triple threat matches were held, with the winners of each match meeting at Against All Odds to determine the number one contender for Kazarian’s X Division title.
The in-ring story: What starts as a handicap match will become your typical three-way once a Buck goes for a pin. Robbie E. will play face in peril even though he’s a heel. Well, you know…
Who goes over: Thanks to heel miscommunication, Robbie E. wins with a roll up and gets his shot at Kazarian.
Custody of Kurt’s Kids v. Giving Karen Away
Kurt Angle v. Jeff Jarrett
They bailed on the MMA storyline for this melodrama involving Karen Jarrett.
The in-ring story: Angle beats Jarrett down from pillar to post, but Jarrett eventually takes over when Angle’s temper gets the best of him. Karen will be able to interfere freely in this match.
Who goes over: Jarrett wins after he breaks out the acoustic equalizer, setting up the fun for 3/3. No custody of Dominick and Alliyah, or whatever their names are, for Kurt.
Last Knockout Standing for TNA Knockouts Title
Mickie James v. Madison Rayne (c)
Mickie beat Tara to get to Rayne, but Rayne knocked Mickie out thanks to a distraction from Tara at Genesis. She’s been sporting a loaded glove since.
The in-ring story: This is going to go all over the building, much like the Mickie/Tara falls count anywhere match. A brawl like this will hide Rayne’s in ring weaknesses.
Who goes over: Madison has a good thing going with the Prom Queen gimmick, and the loaded glove is a nice touch. With that said, Mickie has to take the belt here.
Gunner, Murphy, and Rob Terry v. Scott Steiner and Beer Money
This match is the fallout of the “They†storyline, as Bischoff is doing whatever he can to exact his revenge on Fourtune and anyone who has aligned themselves with them.
The in-ring story: Gunner and Murphy are security guards in storyline and Rob Terry is pretty green, so this should be a punchy-kicky match carried by Storm and Roode. Steiner will get the hot tag to throw some suplexes.
Who goes over: The ref loses control of the match and rules it a no contest as the brawl continues to the back.
Rob Van Dam v. Matt Hardy
A rematch from last month, where Hardy debuted and defeated RVD.
The in-ring story: A back and forth contest, with Matt Hardy doing his thing and RVD countering with more of the same. Matt worked RVD’s leg during the brawl on last night’s Impact, so that will hopefully come into play.
Who goes over: Hardy debuted and immediately became just another worker on the TNA roster. RVD hits him with the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin.
Ladder Match for TNA World Heavyweight Title
Jeff Hardy v. Mr. Anderson (Anderson) (c)
At Genesis, Anderson defeated both Matt Morgan and Jeff Hardy in the same night to win the TNA title. Hardy and Anderson ended up in the middle of the “They†storyline, as Fourtune assisted Anderson against Immortal two weeks ago. Last night on Impact, Anderson successfully defended his title against Morgan, thanks to a returning Hernandez, while Hardy sat atop a ladder at ringside. To put the exclamation point on things, Hardy nailed a Swanton on a prone Anderson and posed with the title that bears his face.
The in-ring story: The main focus point is Jeff Hardy’s experience in ladder matches, putting Anderson behind the eight ball from the get go in the contest. Anderson needs to raise his game beyond punch, kick, Mic Check to hang with Hardy. Expect an overbooked mess, with Fourtune and Immortal
Who goes over: Do you hear that? That is the sound of inevitability, as Mr. Anderson extricates himself and the title from the Immortal/Fortune program.
Of course, the beauty of previewing TNA is that you can put a lot of thought and effort into things and still be completely wrong. We’ll find out Sunday.
