Welcome to Inside Pulse Wrestling’s Live Coverage of WWE Monday Night RAW!
IT’S TIME TO….
Play the Game. Well hell it’s been nearly a year since Triple H opened Monday Night RAW and it’s better than the usual John Cena and the Miz opening RAW, so take that and suck it haters. The epic match between Undertaker and Triple H at WrestleMania XXVII is official. It takes a week, but Triple H finally speaks. He talks about the test of time and that he’s done everything he can do in the company. He goes through all his accolades and even name-dropped Ric Flair. He talks about outlasting everyone except the Undertaker. He talks about how both men have no challenges left, except for Undertaker’s streak. He talks about when the streak dies, the Undertaker dies. If he can’t end it, he’ll die trying. Powerful words from Triple H.
Amd as if he was on cue, Sheamus makes his way out because he’s pissed off that Triple H didn’t mention him at all since his return. Sheamus gets in the ring and gets kicked in the balls. Trips tosses the Irish Curse out of the ring and he proceeds to give Sheamus a bigger reason to be pissed off by unleashing months of retribution for supposedly ending his career last year. Sheamus ends up on the RAW announce table and he gets Pedigreed through it. 12 minutes in and the announce table is already destroyed. Sounds like tonight is going to be a lot of fun.
Shawn Michaels will speak out on the epic encounter and Michael Cole will answer Jerry Lawler’s WrestleMania challenge. Finally, the Rock invites us to his home where he’ll respond to Cena’s diss from last week.
Commercials.
We recap what just went down, We’re back live and Sheamus can barely walk. He needs the support of four people and the RAW GMail chimes in, so Jerry Lawler reads it. It’s not his problem that Sheamus got brutally attacked by Triple H, he still has a match and it’s against…EVAN BOURNE!
Sheamus v. Evan Bourne
The bell rings and Evan Bourne is a house of fire all over Sheamus. Sheamus misses wildly and he eats a roundhouse kick. AirBourne connects and that’s all.
Winner: Evan Bourne
Grade: N/R
Justin Roberts makes an announcement that “The Voice of the WWE” Michael Cole was making his way to the ring. He is all smiles as he will tell Jerry Lawler his answer next.
Commercials.
We recap last week’s interview segment between Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole.
Michael Cole is in the ring and the RAW Announce Table is repaired. He calls Jerry Lawler to get off his fat ass and come inside the ring, but the “no physicality” rule is still in effect. He claims that he has more guts than anybody and that he never backs down from a fight. He still doesn’t accept the match at WrestleMania. Wait…there’s two conditions. He wants his trainer in his corner and he wants a special guest referee of his choosing. Lawler responds and the match is official. Michael Cole is all excited and he brings out his trainer…Jack Swagger. Eh, gotta give him a WrestleMania payday somehow. At least it’s not Miz’s man-servant. Cole mocks Lawler and he pushes him. Lawler gets bitch-slapped and he goes after him before Swagger locks in the anklelock.
Randy Orton walks.
Commercials.
Michael Cole sprays Lysol and Clorox wipes the table and headphones before asking if he can finally do his job. HA!
Randy Orton makes his way to the ring and he acquires a microphone. CM Punk was right about something. That was when he punted Punk in the skull over two years ago. He should have kicked harder. He makes Rated R threats about what he will do to Punk when the time is right. Seems the time is now as CM Punk makes his way to the stage flanked by the New Nexus. He calls Orton arrogant and predictable. While Orton may want Punk in rehab, Punk wants Orton in the ground. The RAW GMail chimes in and Michael Cole defers to Josh Matthews. He books CM Punk v. Randy Orton at WrestleMania XXVII. Over the next few weeks, Randy Orton will face a member of the New Nexus. A win for the New Nexus allows that member to be at ringside for Punk/Orton. A loss means that member is banned from WrestleMania completely. If anyone from the New Nexus gets involved during the next three weeks, the New Nexus will be disbanded.
Randy Orton v. Michael McGillicutty
McGillicutty starts out strong, but Orton turns the tide. He misses the knee and McGillicutty takes advantage. McGillicutty gets sent out of the ring and we take a break.
Commercials.
We’re back and Orton has a series of headbutts and fists for McGillicutty. Off the ropes and Orton eats a dropkick for a series of two counts. Orton gets backed into the corner and McGillicutty takes charge. Off the second rope, McGillicutty snaps the neck back and covers for two. Orton suplexes his way out of trouble and he waits in the corner. Orton gets his clotheslines and the powerslam. 3.0 backbreaker connects and McGillicutty helps Orton out with the setup to the Hangman DDT. Orton coils…RKO CONNECTS! That’s all folks!
Winner: Randy Orton
Grade: C
McGillicutty is in a prone position and Orton grimaces. Orton readies for the concussion kick, but Punk tries to talk him out of it. Orton does it anyways and he runs from the New Nexus.
The WWE hypes the signing of Mistico, known now as Sin Cara.
The Miz and his man-servant walks towards the ring.
Last week, John Cena & The Miz win AND lose the WWE Tag Team Championships.
The Miz and his man-servant make their way out to the ring while Michael Cole sings the praises of his boy and Josh Matthews looks bored. He looks upset because the Rock isn’t going to respond to the Miz. Oh wait, it’s because the Rock knows the Miz is right. The Miz is the biggest star in the WWE because Cena is outdated and the Rock is an afterthought. He talks about the Tag Team Championships. He won them and John Cena lost them. He says that he is in the driver’s seat and that he controls what happens. Instead of Cena being focused on the Rock, he should focus on the Miz. He makes a bold statement stating that he will beat John Cena at WrestleMania and on the same night, he’ll beat the Rock. The man-servant tries to rally the fans, but instead John Cena makes a house call. He enters the ring with very important news. He says that the Miz is not well and he has a cute “Doctor’s Note” that stats that the Miz has OCD. Instead of being awesome, he’s below-average. Instead of being must-seen, you need a microscope to “see it”. The Miz has over 200 cats and over 1000 pairs of blue Dockers. He saves doggie poop bags and pees in milk jugs. During free time, the Miz locks himself in the closet and eats toilet paper. The Man-servant gives the toilet a bad name and says that Cena is full of crap. Michael Cole knocks Alex Riley for that lame joke and it’s so bad that John Cena even calls the Miz out on it. Cena calls for the Miz to make waves…fire Alex Riley. The Miz says that he’s mentoring future superstars. Cena wants Alex Riley in a match where if he loses he’s fired. The Miz accepts, but on one condition. The Miz won’t interfere, but if Alex Riley wins, then John Cena must publicly admit that the Miz is awesome.
The RAW GMail chimes in and Michael Cole reads the email. To make certain that the Miz does not interfere, the match tonight will be a steel cage match where the only way to win is via escape.
Commercials.
Eve Torres joins on color.
Diva’s Battle Royal
The bell rings and it’s balls to the wall. Good luck calling this one. Last three is Gail Kim, one of the Bellas, and Maryse. Gail Kim hits the neckbreaker and Maryse tries the French Kiss only to be tossed out of the ring and it’s down to Gail and one of the Bellas. Gail tosses one out, but Twin Magic occurs and the other Bella Twin tosses Gail Kim out. The referee never seen it and when Eve tries to inform the referee of the cheat, she gets attacked by the twins.
Winner(s): The Bella Twin(s)
Grade: FTS
Commercials.
We recap John Cena’s rap on the Rock.
We are LIVE via satellite in the Rock’s house. He mocks John Cena before ripping off his merchandise. He knows he has the attention of John Cena and that when he returned he said what he wanted to say to him. He calls Cena out for responding to him via rapping. He thought it was funny. He reminds us about how it started. It started when John Cena called him out while he was out making movies. He opened the door to the WWE and paved the way to cross-over into Hollywood. John Cena is going to pay for running his mouth. He will be hosting WrestleMania, but he’ll address John Cena sooner than he thinks. The lights go out in the arena and in his house. The Rock has a gift to John Cena…”The Rock is back…to scratch an itch. So enjoy your Fruity Pebbles ya yabba-dabba-BITCH!”
The odds are good that the Rock is actually in Buffalo tonight.
Commercials.
Shawn Michaels discusses his emotions involving Undertaker and Triple H in an excellent video promo hyping Undertaker v. Triple H at WrestleMania XXVII.
Daniel Bryan v. …
The Miz attacks Daniel Bryan from behind and beats him down outside the ring. This ends in a brutal Skull Crushing Finale and for once Michael Cole isn’t on the Miz’s side. Seems that this was done on the fly since something went a bit too long. The Miz says that he did that because he can. He wants the cage lowered for our main event. Yup…something went long, otherwise why would they send him out this close to 11PM?
Commercials.
Michael Cole asks the Miz why he attacked Daniel Bryan and he responds that because he can.
Steel Cage Match: Alex Riley v. John Cena
If Alex Riley loses, he’s fired as Miz’s personal servant. If John Cena loses, he has to say that the Miz is awesome. The bell rings and this is going to be interesting. Riley tries to escape, but John Cena stops that and he continues to beat Riley into next year. John Cena tries to calmly leave the cage, but the Miz breaks his promise by shutting the door in John Cena’s face. Alex Riley takes control while the Miz tweets a picture of John Cena being sent to the cage. The Miz slips the BlackBerry in the ring and Alex Riley uses it on Cena. Riley crawls to the door and John Cena stops it. The Miz tries to help and he is unsuccessful. STF is applied and Riley passes out. John Cena climbs the cage and the Miz has a chair waiting for Cena. Riley gets back up and he grabs Cena in the Electric Chair move. Time for our final break.
Commercials.
We are back and Riley is still in control. Riley looks for a dropkick, but catches air. Cena comes back with shoulderblocks and the Protobomb. Five Knuckle Shuffle connects and the Attitude Adjustment almost allows Alex Riley a head start to the top of the cage. Cena falls back and Riley is up top. Seems that Riley is afraid of heights (or was waiting for Cena to get back up. They walk to the turnbuckle and Cena connects with a top-rope bulldog. Attitude Adjustment connects and John Cena takes the phone to take a picture. Tena looks to leave through the door, but the Miz tries to block. Cena shoves his way out and is immediately the receipent of a Skull Crushing Finale.
Winner: John Cena
Grade: B-
Show over.
