Kue’s Korner: Baby Oil and Beards; CM Punk and RKO’s Establishing Feud

Bonjour! Ciao! Howdy! Welcome to a lovely little edition of Kue’s Korner, with yours truly as your gracious and generous host, Jonah Kue. Well, what a week it’s been, hasn’t it, ladies and homies? Returns, rebuttals, reintroductions, and we’ve still got a whole lot of wrestling television before the big ‘Mania finally graces our TV screens (or laptop streams, but I won’t tell if you won’t). Of course, there’s the talk of the town being the People’s Champ and his verbal throwdown with the Doctor of Thuganomics. I must admit, I was rather spirited about this topic, and posted my thoughts on my new more frequented wrestling blog, “Kue’s Korner Lite“. The article link is below:

Defending the Great One: Why Cena is a Disrespectful Jackass

But this week, we’re going to talk about another feud, one that’s doing wonders in establishing characters for the future. So, let’s get to the whoring before hand.

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Why is our tanned snake friend, Randy Orton, such a magnet for all the cheering he receives from us? Let’s face it, his promos are lackluster at best. His matches are rarely above two stars. Yet, whenever Rev Theory screams about voices in their heads, the arena that carries the echo is engulfed in what we smarks have come to call “a huge fucking pop”. His cold and calculating Viper persona has propelled him to the face push the company has attempted to give him for the longest of times. Still, amongst that victory, something seemed vacant. That something was a feud worth talking about, a feud that would really establish this new “face” Orton.

Sadly, the early attempts at this were mediocre at best, as he was put into clashes with new heels that needed to be established as well. Sheamus, whose dominance was a key character trait (a la putting HHH out of commission), was nowhere to be seen in his feud with Orton, and soon enough, he ended up passing the title to the Viper. The late November Nexus fiasco was mainly focused on Barrett and Cena, with Orton and his title simply the icing on the cake. And the Miz and Orton was simply a logical rematch feud, no more, no less. So, over half a year later, we’ve finally come across a man who is able to establish the Viper as a legitimate character by being a more than legitimate foil. And who better to be that foil than the greatest Superstar today?

The WWE hit a gold mine with this New Nexus stable. And the glimmer in the gold is none other than the infamous CM Punk. He plays his character of sadistic, cunning, cult leader to perfection. He’s even carried Cena through a hat-trick of very good matches. However, the feud with Cena just didn’t hit all the right buttons. This is more the fault of Cena’s character not presenting itself well as an involving protagonist to Punk’s villain role. That’s why Randy is, without a doubt, the right opponent for our bearded leader.

The thing about Punk’s character is that, as creepy and as obsessive as he is, his reasoning is infallible. There is a logical justification to every one of his beliefs and actions. That’s why his face opponents have always seemed two-dimensional and unrealistic as a protagonist against him. Orton is different, though. He makes no excuses for his actions. When Punk showcased Randall’s punting him in the skull that fateful day two years ago, Orton basically shrugged, gave a shit-eating grin, and wanted to beat the hell out of him again. Why? Because he’s Randy Orton. So, in comparison:

Mysterio vs. Punk

Punk: Don’t drink or do drugs!
Rey: Don’t tell people what to do!
Punk: But I’m telling kids not to drunk or do drugs
Rey: Yeah, but…
Punk: Do you want kids to drink or do drugs?
Rey: Well, no, but…
Punk: Then, have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up!

Cena vs. Punk

Punk: You basically tried to kill a man by dropping 23 chairs on him. This was after you won the match
Cena: He had it coming. He turned me into a slave, I wanted my reparations!
Punk: Okay, but he never tried to kill you. You’re a homicidal maniac preaching hustle, loyalty and respect to kids who think you’re a role model. You need to be stopped.
Cena: Your name almost sounds like CM Sucks!
Punk: Yeah, I can see this promo war with the Rock doing all sorts of “win” for you, buddy.

Orton vs. Punk

Punk: You cost me my title 2 years ago.
Orton: Yeah
Punk: You punted me in the head
Orton: Yep
Punk: I was out of action for months!
Orton: I’m a bit bored
Punk: I’m fucking up your chances for a title shot.
Orton: Okay. So, your head has been missing my boot for the past 2 years, has it?

Instantly, you have two characters who connect on a mental level (as both clearly have their issues), and the storyline and character development stand to make both Punk as even more over as a heel and Orton more over as a face. As the time draws closer to ‘Mania, I’m very intrigued on the in ring chemistry these two will have, as I’m sure WM27 won’t be the last time this face-off happens. Ladies and gentlemen, we might be witnessing something special, and more importantly, something lasting in this feud.

Adieu.

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