Saturday Evening Post – 03.08.11 (The Rock, WWE Monday Night Raw, Draft, Mania)

Hello, everybody, as before and always shall be, I’m FLEA. Today’s column will focus on Monday Evening’s RAW show, how all this nostalgia is possibly going to make a great Wrestlemania and will the reset button be hit post WM?
 
Ain’t there a draft? Not because your windas are open, but a re-shuffling between RAW, Smackdown and Future Endeavor. We’ll come back to that  
 
Also, somewhere is this column will be a special guest that everyone asks for, sometimes. Then bitches
 
And by the way Miss Penny, FLEA don’t edit. Use some Effort, my darling
 
Mistah Jonah Kue – I said this about you on 2.23.11
 
3) And then I get to Kue’s Korner – P.U. I know I mentioned earlier my jealously for vids, but if everyone is doing it then why even bother? Just turn this site over to You Tube. Put us right up there with shamed baby poses and the tiger that jumps into the truck with a Nigerian who was asking for it. I like your style. Write more
 
And then you churned out excellent columns. Which proves that FLEA is always right. At least about this
 
 
Top 3 of 6 – Monday Night Raw
 
NUMBER ONE
 
RETURN OF THE UNDERTAKER
 
The entrance is always money
 
1) Dead Man has the mic and makes the expected threatening remarks going into a match of such magnitude. NO HOLDS BARRED. NO DQ. I would expect nothing less 
 
2) I heard a rumor that no mention whatsoever is to be made of WM17, which I thought was a fabulous match. But that’s not now and we need bitter enemies, not re-hash. Besides they might want to do the same finish (go look it up yourself, you tube freaks)
 
See – most people around here would have that very match embroidered RIGHT HERE. Not me. I have it on disc and remember how it went down. The point is they ain’t saying so I will subsequently ignore.
 
3) No H this week, so we have HBK cutting his promo. Fine job. I’m still curious as to how and if HBK shows up, sticking his nose where it does not belong
 
NUMBER TWO
 
CENA’S KNOCKOUT
 
1) Ok, if this was a schoolyard, bang bang, I’m dead. However this happens to be PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING / sports entertainment, so what the fuck was that? Pearl Necklace? Beating off? Nice shirt though. I’m going to get me one and hobble into a redneck bar – I Bring It…via Saddle Sores
 
2) This just sucked. He had a crowd against him (remember, before Austin and Rock, Dallas TX was a dead zone). Most of this crowd is from the Attitude Era and yer schtick just won’t fly. Or knock out one, either
 
3) MIZ saved this. He beat the shit out of Cena and brought some intensity. At this point I’d rather see him go one on one with Rock-E, but that would just be “who in the blue hell are you” or “it’s doesn;t matter….” Rock is very predictable, which makes it all the more fun that Cena Can’t keep up with him.
 
I’d say it should be the beginning of a long program, but I will not fool myself
 
NUMBER THREE
 
ORTON HAS NO TROUBLE
 
1) Ok…3 guys beat him senseless and drag him to the ring. WAM goes Otunga (back to Tampa) and BOOM goes to MASON RYAN (got it right this time)…but he’ll be back next week.
 
2) Something wacky should happen when O wrestles Ryan next week, because it does no good for Punk to go at it alone at WM
 
Unless Ryan goes down and Punk turns to his old Friend, Samoan Joe. Squash O in 3 minutes and a star is born. My bad, Joe is in Orlando having the time of his life
 
3) I know he is Mr. Positive (and I’ve met him – nice guy) – DDP. But who or what does he punch everytime O hits the Diamond Cutter from any/nowhere? 
 
NUMBER FOUR
 
COLE, JBL, 3:16 and a BEER BASH
 
 – before that, a quick interlude
 
WHERE DOES HYATTE STAND
 
After years of petty jealousy and a phone call out of the blue where he was denied to the point of cutting his throat, my good friend Chris Hyatte reached out. Hi-Rate and I have been in regular contact again, via phone…he always has an opinion and I thought I would include a few…. 
 
Where Does Hyatte Stand On:
 
Doing a column?
 
“Last time I checked, they still ain’t paying”  
 
Inside Pulse?
 
“You are there? I thought it was 411? Is this the Jew’s site or the Indian’s site? 
 
Just a brief interlude with Our Man Hyatte. Stay tuned for more
 
NUMBER FOUR
 
COLE, JBL, 3:16 and a BEER BASH
 
 1) Cole, as per usual, is great. He has managed to take the worst of Bischoff and McMahon and made it his own. Love it
 
2) Nothing says JBL like a limo that moooooooooss. Good to see him. I loved the JBL character (which was one of the last real life “gimmicks” we’ve had). I think it’s unfortunate that he came around when business was so bad, but I always thought he provided stability to an era when new stars were just getting their feet wet.
 
Also, he got drunk and fought Godzilla. Selling to an inflatable doll is right up there with anyone’s career achievements. Last night, he had a hard time keeping a straight face, especially with the “bully” line.  
 
3) Predictable Austin. I would have preferred that he not poured the beer on Cole, as Austin does not need to be over and Cole does. Other than that, great segment. People falling for the “okay, let’s have a beer, now – kick wham STUNNER” bit is always amusing
 
NUMBER FIVE
 
SNOOKI
 
1) I’ve lived in / lived near Jersey for a lot of years and yes, that’s how these people are
 
2) I have no interest, other than Vickie’s possible involvement. 
 
3) After Molly “Big Ass” Holly and Piggie James, it will amaze me if they do not skewer this pig. Or maybe they just treat her nice because it’s almost Hollywood. I’d skewer. Punk will probably fuck her. I’m sure there will be a line waiting. Why?
 
NUMBER SIX 
 
POST WM, THE DRAFT AND THE RELEASES
 
1) It happens every year, like clockwork. WWE “shakes things up” via draft and the future endeavors the unusable. “We have nothing for you” – “but a pink slip”. Poor guys can;t even go to TNA – that place is fucked up so bad they can;t keep their own roster employed, much less bring in new talent. Maybe a hook-up with Snooki would be a good thing
 
2) This is where I wish they would set up shops around the county and do Independent (but WWE style) shows. Develop. Guys could move around the country and maybe learn more than they do in 2 minutes RAWr or Smackdown segments.  
 
3) Of course, it’s easier to spend 20 million on butt-sucking movies than it is to…nevermind. The results speak for themselves. And that would be a whole nother column
 
Which are coming soon. I’m having fun typing and I hope you are enjoying reading. Send any feedback to ryderfakin@yahoo.com, or just type it the comment box below. That seems to be the preferred way. Like reading a Kindle instead of sitting down with a book.
 
also  – and I can’t believe I’m doing this – but follow me on Twitter @ryderfakin. Hyatte told me I was Twitter before Twitter was cool (based on phone conversations). I’d have a hard time putting that into print, but, what’s done is done. Thank YOU, CRZ
 
and thanks for reading, I’m FLEA

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