Kue’s Korner: Skip-A-Turn; Post-Wrestlemania Predictions and Presentations

Please wipe your feet, just had the floors washed. But welcome all the same, geese and ganders, to Kue’s Korner. I’m your metaphorically-gifted host, Jonah Kue. And speaking of yours truly, I’ve relocated this week from the lush aisles of Brooklyn to the lush ‘burbs of D.C. The moe was quite painless, and I’m rather enjoying the new pad belonging to my fiance and myself. Just thought I’d drop a personal note in there.

Well, with all the action taking place in the ring this week, it’s a surprise to see that pro wrestling’s biggest battle can be seen…on Twitter. Nifty. Well, it’s a good a marketing technique for ‘Mania as any, right? (Well, besides that classic Chef Boyardee commercial with the Rock. Just sayin’).  But as anticipated as ‘Mania is, this week’s Korner deals with the future, i.e. post-‘Mania. So, let’s get started, folks. Here’s some whoring:

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Beaten path? No thanks, already witnessing one. And this one is the basic archetype of “jumbled midcard before Wrestlemania”. The year’s biggest spectacle needs its top draws, and we have them in the form of title matches (Edge/Del Rio, Cena/Miz), big names (Rock, Austin, Stratus), and a quirky little gimmick match (Cole/Lawler). Sadly, because of such a focus on the big draws, the midcard gets even more lost in the shuffle than usual. Pushes that seemed to pick up a bit during Rumble time also seem to wither a great deal post-Chamber (or post-No-Way-Out, if we’re being nostalgic, which happens to be the theme of this ‘Mania).

We’re seeing this now with Ziggler and Morrison. These guys were at the top of Praise-n-Push Mountain, both World title contenders for the last two PPV’s, only for one to get fired and the other to job to the fired guy. And let’s not even bring up Sheamus hitting rock bottom (Zing! 3 points). Seriously?

I know I may be fretting about this too early, as post-‘Mania brings in a whole new scenario, what with the big draws dying down and the draft freshening things up a bit. With that said, here’s what I’d like to see happen after that fateful day of April 4th.

Morrison gets traded to Smackdown! – There’s no denying that this kid is main event ready. He just is. Raw’s just gotten to be a bit of a larger pond, or at least too many old fish are swimming in it. With an established set of main eventers in Cena, Miz, Orton, and Punk, Morrison will have a better chance to showcase his abilities with the World belt on the line. Del Rio is bound to be needing some face numero uno contenders (let’s not kid ourselves, Edge is losing that strap, friends), and after his ready-made feud with Christian, Morrison is the next logical choice. This needs to happen (if for the sole fact that seeing both Miz and Morrison hold the top tier belts in the company simultaneously would pretty much accurately describe Sheen’s coined term “bi-winning”).

Either Ziggler or Sheamus turns face – Preferably Ziggler. I’m sorry, but these guys, character-wise, are getting stale. Sheamus has been on a losing streak for awhile now, and I can’t see a payoff for him at all. Ziggler’s character has been dwarfed by the bigger-heat-magnet-than-a-black-Subaru persona of Vickie Guerrero. Still, if you’ve caught NXT Season 4 at all (thanks to all the recapping), you’ve definitely noticed Ziggler’s commentary throughout the shows as downright hilarious, Not only that, but there was a great deal of positive fan reaction to them. Let this kid cut a simple unscripted promo, and you’re looking at face gold in Dolph Ziggler.

Refine Cena Character’s Focus – I’ve become a bit apathetic towards John Cena’s character. This is because he’s become more apathetic towards his opponents and titles in the ring. Sure, I’m in the same boat of people who complain about the amount of attention being paid to the Rock in contrast to the Miz, but at the heart of it, that’s not my complaint. His promos, post-Chamber, have been so ridiculously crowd-dick-riding (even more so than usual) that it seems like he’s attempting to compete with the Rock for hosting duties, instead of actually fighting anybody, let alone the Miz for the title. This feud is supposed to be career and era defining. Stop putting yourself over, Cena, at least for the sake of putting other people over, for a change.

The Miz wins his title back at the first opportunity – Naivety has lost itself on the way to me this time, which is why I’m not an idiot thinking that the Miz isn’t losing his belt to Cena at ‘Mania. Eh, it’s the big spectacle, so, the good guy’s gotta win this one. But it would be a huge miztake (booyah! 4 points) to not put the belt back on the Miz by the next PPV. The Miz is being built very similarly to the Corporate Champion Rock character, as far as heel champs go. They need to build Miz as a credible and long-lasting champ so that whomever they choose to dethrone our Awesome friend will go over like Angry Birds (topical reference. Kids love me).

With those options presented, your quirky columnist is curious as to what your post-‘Mania thoughts are. Leave ’em in the comments section, kiddies. And here’s to the future. A hopefully-Matt-Morgan-no-longer-in-the-field-of-pro-wrestling future.

Adieu.

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