The Celebrity Apprentice 2011 – Episode 1 Review

Year after year, I ask this question: WHY must The Celebrity Apprentice be two hours long? It’s such a guilty pleasure show, but I can’t commit two hours on a Sunday night to watching it. So instead, it gets put off until a lazy Saturday morning, when I can relax with a caramel latte and enjoy the madness.

Instead of writing a full recap, for this show I’m just going to do bullet points of what was great. It’s called The Five Wacky Wonders of The Celebrity Apprentice. So here we go:

  1. The naming of the teams. Lil John declared that he couldn’t be associated with anything lame, and then offered up the lamest name ever: “The Winners”. Really, Lil John? A child could come up with a better name. The name the men settled on, Back Bone, wasn’t much better. The women came up with the name “A.S.A.P”, which apparently did not stand for As Soon As Possible. No, it was “Artists, Singers, Authors, Professionals”. Or “Actors, Singers, Artists, Performers”. Or “Absurd, Screwy, Amusing, Preposterous”. Really, who can remember? Certainly not LaToya Jackson.
  2. Everything about Gary Busey. That dude is crazy! If ever there was a reason to wear a helmet on a motorcycle, Busey is it. I hope that’s what his charity is for. The Prophet of Pepperoni? That was the kind of thing that makes this show worth watching. And then his cell phone ringing in the boardroom? That was hilarious.
  3. Richard Hatch vs. David Cassidy. Wow oh wow, Richard Hatch is arrogant! I knew he was arrogant on Survivor, but I thought he’d be a little more reserved around a group of actual celebrities. He was bossy, pushy (literally!), rude and smug. But David was overly sensitive, too. But who cares? It made for great TV. When Richard implied that David Cassidy is a “little person” and called him “delicate”? I died.
  4. Star Jones vs. Lisa Rinna. I like Lisa Rinna, probably because she was on Veroncia Mars once upon a time. I thought Lisa was funny, and Star was wrong for closing their pizza joint early.
  5. David Cassidy referring to his daughter Katie as a very big TV and movie star. Look, I like Katie Cassidy and I think she’s got a great career ahead of her. But she’s not a huge star. She wasn’t even recognizable with her hat and sunglasses on.

Despite losing $35,000 for not delivering the pizzas to the firehouse on time, the women swept the floor with the men. The Boardroom was quite something. Richard chose to bring Jose and David in with him, and most of his team had said David deserved to be fired. Jose was annoyed that Richard had insulted his intelligence, but who wouldn’t with that suit Jose had on? What was on the sleeves? 

Watching the men go at each other, I thought it would be a mistake for Trump to fire Hatch. He’s arrogant, but he’s the kind of guy who will stir the pot and cause trouble, and that’s what this show is all about. The crazies get to stay, and Hatch brings more drama to the table than David. That said, I don’t think Trump likes reality stars or considers them to be real celebrities, so I fully expected him to fire Richard Hatch. I was really surprised when Trump axed David Cassidy instead.

What did you think of the episode? Did it bring all the wackiness and insanity you expected? Were you surprised by Trump’s first firing? Do you wish this show was an hour long?