No Chance – Thoughts, Concerns, and Questions about the Upcoming Wrestlemania.

Hello boys and girls. Welcome to the No Chance column. Can anyone else believe that Wrestlemania is less than 20 days away? It seems like just yesterday we were first getting a glimpse at that sign hanging over the ring.

But it’s getting close to the time where all the storylines over the past few months are about to come to their climactic battles. Let’s take a look at them, shall we?

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole w/Jack Swagger (Special guest referee: Steve Austin): Last year, I thought the most interesting buildup to a match was the Vince vs. Bret match that felt years in the making. (I would also accept the Streak vs. Career as the best buildup to a match.) However, when the actual match took place, it was rough to just sit through the whole thing and watch it. Not only was it a bad match, it was uncomfortable to watch. That is my fear for this match. As far as the storyline goes, it has been a long time coming for Michael Cole to get what’s coming to him, and Jerry Lawler seems to be the perfect person to deal out that punishment. However, I don’t know how well this will play out when it comes to an actual in ring match. Lawler’s feud with The Miz proved that he could at least keep from embarrassing himself in the ring, and on some occasions put on a fairly entertaining match. However, we haven’t seen any indication that Cole belongs in the ring at all. While I suspect that Swagger will be used to try and deter, this I am still worried at the potential train wreck that this match could end up being.

WWE champion The Miz vs. John Cena: Everyone involved in this match (The Rock included) has had at least one stellar promo in relation to this upcoming match, if not multiple.  If every rivalry in the WWE could have a fraction of the mic work that this one has, then we would be in a new golden age of wrestling. That being said, the ring work leading up to this match has mostly consisted of The Miz ambushing Cena at the end of each Raw episode. I like the fact that these two don’t seem to be actually fighting one another until Wrestlemania, but I would like to see The Miz get a real match to show off his skills instead of beating up Kahli. Also, The Rock needs to appear live soon. His taped promos have been good, but nowhere near the quality of the one he gave when he first returned to the ring. Because he always wears the same shirt (as wrestlers tend to do) it’s starting to feel like he taped all the promos on one day and they are just getting played one a week.

Speaking of The Rock, we still don’t know what his exact involvement will be in the match at Wrestlemania. Special Referee? We already have one of those and besides how will the Rock be able to use that to put both wrestlers in their place? Interrupt the match? Then do both wrestlers lose? I don’t know where WWE is going with this story, but I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt on this one for now.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk: As far as raw in ring talent, this could be the most entertaining match on the card right now. It also seems to be the most fool proof of the matches. Either Orton or Punk could win the match and have a good story come out as a result. The only thing I worry about is the risk of Nexus coming back to interrupt the match. All the other members have been punted, which should put them out for quite a while. Are we to see them come back in a manner of weeks when Chris Jericho is still out from his punt? And how long was Vince out when he received his punt? So as long as this stays a match between just the two of them, Randy vs. Punk looks to be one of this year’s highlights.

The Undertaker vs. Triple H: We already took an in depth look at this match two weeks ago, and so far not much has happened that would change my thoughts. Triple H has cut good promos but nothing yet has convinced me that there is any real chance of him ending the streak. At this point all I really want is a good match out of the whole thing. Even with what seems to be a foregone conclusion, both contenders can deliver great in ring performances so it will still probably be a match worth watching.

Diva Match: So apparently Snooki is going to be at Wrestlemania. In a match. I, like many others, tend to view the Diva’s match as a bathroom break in the program, and now WWE seems set on re-enforcing that point of view.

So, one article later and you may notice that I have yet to mention a Smackdown rivalry. At least two matches from Smackdown will take place (Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes) with a few more likely to take place.  But it feels like Wrestlemania is being dominated by Raw. Why is this? I think The Rager Column from yesterday explained the situation beautifully if you were privileged enough to read that.

Each week Smackdown seems to contain more and more Raw recaps and they seem to be longer and longer. And what happens when an important Smackdown event happens such as the return of the Undertaker? It happens on Raw. And Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio feels like a Raw match as much as a Smackdown one. Has Alberto even missed a Raw since winning the Royal Rumble? I have a roommate who only watches Raw, and he was surprised to learn that technically Alberto is considered a member of the Smackdown brand.

As always feel free to leave your comments about Wrestlemania, the wrestling world in general, or whatever you want below. I’m Joel, and this has been No Chance.

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