Hey there, kiddies. Lets get down to it!
JTG vs. Tyler Reks
Oh yeah, JTG doesn’t have a chance…at all. There’s a cage high above the ring, I guess there will be a cage match on Smackdown. The two men grapple until JTG gets corner and Reks decides to shove him around and this angers JTG who answers with several blows. JTG takes lands a dropkick and has the advantage until Reks manages to get to the ropes and the ref breaks the two up. JTG begins to gloat in a very ‘hood’ way in which Reks answers with a kick to the gut and Reks is pulling ahead. Reks misses on a flying knee and JTG tries to capitalize on the mistake with a very awkward-looking and mis-timed elbow to the face of Tyler Reks. The two meet in the corner and Reks lands another kick to JTG’s gut. Reks throws JTG out of the ring and steps out to join him…and by join him, I mean, beat up to a pulp. Both men re-enter the ring and Reks continues the beatdown and gets a two count. Reks locks in a submission hold until JTG gets to his feet and tries to shift the momentum but Reks isn’t having any of it. JTG is place in a corner and lands a double kick and a few punches on Reks. JTG hits this really stupid elbow that looked like it was suppose to be a backhand slap…but with his elbow. JTG tries to sneak in a quick cover but only gets two. Reks ends up outside the ring and JTG just kinda throws himself at Reks (not in a romantic way…not that there’s anything wrong with that) and whatever that was, it connected. JTG throws Reks back into the ring where JTG lands a big DDT for only a two count. JTG gets up and signals for his finishing move by shaking fist and I gotta admit, it looks pretty dirty and obscene…just sayin. JTG hops up on the top turnbuckle and motions for Reks to “come hither and give heed” but Reks apparently doesn’t swing that way and ducks under JTG’s jump. Reks kicks JTG in the gut…again. An angry-faced Reks hits the Burning Hammer for the pin. Tyler Reks gets the win.
We see a commercial for The Chaperone. I caught this cinematic adventure on Netflix the other day and I gotta admit, not as incredibly terrible as I was expecting it to be. Only thing is, just like the trailer, the movie couldn’t decide if it was a slapstick comedy, action or heartfelt drama. A little cheesy at times but, to my surprise, HHH wasn’t the main one at fault for that. Kudos for WWE films for not producing complete garbage.
Recrap time and its the gem of a match from Monday night between Vickie Guerrero and Trish Status along with Snooki. I completely forgot about the shoe bit and now I wish I could do so once again. I really thought John Morrison almost ripped off Snooki’s arm when he raised her hand at the end. I understand this is suppose to give Wrestlemania some sort of publicity but its killing any hint of legitimacy the show might have. This really makes the Mayweather ordeal look like a genius move.
Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Uso’s
Santino and one of the Uso’s square. No, I have no idea how to tell them apart and even if i did, I don’t know their names anyway. The Uso lands a couple hits but Santino shows off the Cobra (sounds dirty) and the Uso backs away quickly to his corner. The two lock up in the middle of the ring, wiggle around for a bit and the two release. Santino manages to lock in a side headlock and starts to pull again until the Uso pushes both of them into the corner where the other Uso tags himself in and takes control for a short while and tries for a pin for two. Other Uso goes back to the corner and is tagged by original Uso who throws his butt into Santino’s face to make his father proud but not too proud because he only gets a two count out of it. Original Uso hits Kozlov, who gets angered and the attention of the ref. While the ref is attacked, Other Uso kicks Santino and pulls the switch with Original Uso but only gets a two count. The get compared to the Bella Twins….hmm….I can see it. Santino lands a couple punches but gets a kick by Other Uso and then gets a side headlock but Santino breaks out of it and takes control. Both men tag out and now its Original Uso and Vladimir going at it with Vladimir getting the advantage. Kozlov gets a cover but is broken up by Extra Crispy Uso. Santino tries to deal with Extra Crispy but is thrown out of the ring. Extra Crispy tries to finish off Santino but gets flipped over Santino’s head. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Kozlov lands a kick on Original Uso and backs into the corner so Santino can tag. Santino whips out the Cobra (tehe) and whacks it into Original Uso’s head. Santino gets the pin. Santino and Kozlov wins.
Time to relive Raw once again and this time its John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio and in the ensuring beatdown by the Miz.
Following that, we get a rundown of the Wrestlemania card.
The Bellas, Alicia Fox, and Melina vs. Natalya, Tamina, Gail Kim and Eve
We kick off this shindig with Tamina and Original Bella (sorry, twins aren’t my thing) and the two begin with locking up in the middle of the ring. Tamina powers Original Bella around the ring and lands a really weak-sauce headbutt. The Bella tags in Alicia Fox, who quickly takes control over Tamina until Tamina gives Fox a big shoulder to munch on and Tamina tags Gail Kim. Alicia then takes control over Kim until Kim lands a dropkick and gets a two count. Gail tags Natalya, who tries to turn Alicia over for the Sharpshooter but Fox manages to get to the ropes and tags in a Bella (for continuity sake, I’m just gonna say it isn’t Original Bella). Extra Crispy Bella tries to fight off Natalya but fails as Natalya pretty much throws Extra Crispy around. Original Bella distracts Natalya as Extra Crispy Bella hits her from behind. Extra Crispy takes control before tagging Original Bella, who literally puts her foot on Natalya and tags Alicia Fox who stands over Natalya and lands ONE knee to Natalya’s face and tags Melina…mind-shattering action, folks. Melina throws Natalya’s face into the mat a few times and hits a running kick and into a commercial.
We return as Natalya is getting her head throw into the mat once again, this time its by one of the Bellas…I’m gonna call this one Original since we just came back from commercial. Original Bella tags in Melina, who just starts screaming…geez, that was terrible. Natalya rolls up Melina but only gets to and Melina locks in a chin lock. The Bellas are covering their ears for some reason as Natalya manages to break the hold. Madness ensues outside the ring as the opposing divas go at it. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Natalya lands a clothesline on Melina, tags Eve, who lands a moonsault off the top turnbuckle and gets the pin. The team of Natalya, Eve, Gail Kim and Tamina get the win.
This was fun as always, friends. See you next week
Tags: alicia fox, Eve, Gail Kim, JTG, Melina, Natalya, Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov, tamina, The Bella Twins, the usos, Tyler Reks