Pulse Wrestling Report: WWE Smackdown! 03.18.2011 — Christian, Edge, Alberto del Rio

28 seconds in, and I’m already confused. I thought Edge and Christian were going for the belts tonight? Why are Kane and Big Show in that match? Whatever…

Cole enters, to the Raw music, and goes into his little box, despite Lawler not being present.

Edge enters, and appears to have trimmed his hair. Very nice. Alberto makes his way out, with Ricardo and Brodus. Apparently, Brodus will be the one competing.

Bell rings, and off we go. Edge getting beaten, trying to rally but failing. Edge cannot get any offense in, and Brodus is tearing him apart, slowly but surely. But wait, Edge to the top rope for a wicked crossbody. Brodus drops his monstrous body weight on to Edge’s chest, and is dragged over to the corner, but dodges the attack. DDT, crazy eyes, but Ricardo distracts and Alberto grabs Edge’s attention, allowing Brodus to nearly steal a victory, but Edge kicks out. Christian, to save the day! Attacking del Rio, Brodus is focusing on the two, and Edge hits his Spear for the three.

Grade: D+
Meh. It was what it was. Not a contest I would bring up in conversation. I did like that the focus was primarily on the two men in the ring, and not solely on the brooding feud.

Naturally, Alberto has snuck away from Christian and pounces on Edge in the ring. But wait! Christian catches up, and tears Alberto away, as they collide on the announce table, sending Josh and Booker running. Teddy Long’s music cues up…we’ll see the two in the main event, and declares that it will be a steel cage match!

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Friday Night Smackdown!

Sheamus is US Champ? I have got to start watching Raw again.

Commercial.

And, Sheamus enters. Followed by Kofi. I may jinx it, but I’m rather looking forward to this.

Bell rings. Steady competition between the two, reversals and counters aplenty. Sheamus grounds the momentum into the mat, wearing Kofi down. Huge elbow to Kofi’s face, but that’s it before Kofi gets riled up. To the top rope, crossbody! But Sheamus lifts him up, over his shoulder, Kingston fights out, lands a few punches, Boom Drop. Kofi signals for Trouble in Paradise, but Sheamus rolls out, giving him the upper hand once more. Reversal, SOS from Kofi, count one, two…but Sheamus grabs the rope, breaking the count. Brutal attacks outside the ring, Sheamus driving the steel steps into Kofi’s knee, and both men are back in. Brogue Kick, and Kofi is doneski.

Grade: B-
Wow! I loved this. Sheamus has long been one of my favorites, and not just because of that Irish accent. He got kind of lost for a while there, and even though I think he’s just a step above the US belt, it’s nice to see him doing something with it. He and Kofi meshed very well together and I was entranced with this match.

Quick recap of Kane’s whole debacle with Corre and Big Show, leading into this obvious tag team match.

Cut to Kane backstage, chit chatting with Show, who is trying to motivate Kane to destroy Corre, and set aside their differences. Kane responds with a very eloquent Chokeslam attempt. Both go back and forth with. He chuckles, “You complete me,” and we uncomfortably move to…

Commercial.

Oh, Trent Barreta is still alive. And Cody…either has a new song or a remixed version of his previous one. Either way, it’s an improvement. Apparently the translucent mask wasn’t good enough to hide his face, there’s now a towel over his head.

Here we go. Cody is headbutting Barreta repeatedly until…he wins.

Grade: N/A

Another recap, this time of the original tension between Christian and del Rio, pre-injury.

Commercial.

More hype for HHH/Taker, and the Shawn Michaels video package yet again.

Now, to LayCool entering. Apparently Layla will try to take on Joan Cena.

Commercial, again.

Joan enters, and off we go. It starts off with Joan pouncing on Layla, shaking her hair all around, throwing “kicks” and generally flailing about. Time for her super awesome cartwheel, but Layla knocks her down. Back to the one move Joan can resort to…shaking her opponent’s hair around, and she goes to the top rope. Michelle shouts to distract, Layla throws her down on the mat, and wins.

Grade: F
Layla actually isn’t terrible, but Joan couldn’t even kick properly. Everything she does is stiff and awkward, and I’m truly sick of suffering through what she tries to pass off as “talent”. It’s ruining the Divas even more for me.

Commercial.

Tag Team time! Corre out first. Next, Show, and finally Kane.

And so it begins. J-Gabe and Kane start it off, but Kane drops him easily. Slater tags in, but Kane again has his way with him. Backed into a corner, but not for long, as that situation is reversed. Slater works on the leg, and tags in J-Gabe. And back again. Slater works on the leg again, and tags in J-Gabe once more. Justin to the top rope, but knocked down by Kane who tags in Big Show, who is running Slater over with heavy clotheslines. Show goes for the Chokeslam, connects, cover but Scott is tugged out of the ring, forcing a disqualification.

Grade: C-
Absolutely predictable in every sense of the word, but entertaining nonetheless. Slater and Gabriel function well together, and I enjoy their chemistry tremendously. Show moves fantastic for a guy his size, but it’s still not quite up to par with my standards. Not terrible though.

Kane, infuriated, charges J-Gabe, and sends him back into the ring. Show picks him up for a Chokeslam but Corre attacks first, on Big Show. Wade miraculously performs Wasteland on Show, and they turn their attention to Kane, sending him into the steel steps. They dissect it, placing the bottom half on top of Kane, but attack Show when he tries to help. Wade picks up the top half and drives it into Kane not once, but twice. They pull apart the announce table, their eyes on Show now, placing him on top in a forceful downward trajectory, and retreat.

Grisham is backstage with del Rio, asking him about the steel cage match. He claims that they are tampering with his destiny, continues shouting, and then we cut.

Commercial.

Swagger’s turn to do something, Masters already in the ring. Cole is blabbering on about his Ankle Lock on JR, and appears more like a preadolescent boy practicing his promos in a hair brush.

Swagger jumps when the bell rings, but boom! Quick drop from Masters, who attempts the Masterlock, but Swagger fights out, going for the ankle. Almost locks it in, but Masters fights out as well. Swagger uses the ring post to his advantage, to wear down Masters’ ankle, locks in the Ankle Lock, and it’s over.

Grade: F
An obvious storyline advancement, but still could have been given some more time. I miss Masters on Superstars, because at least that was a real competition.

Swagger hands over Masters’ ankle on a silver platter for Cole to practice on once more.

Switching gears, we cut to a plug for Jericho’s stint on Dancing with the Stars. As a former dancer, I have to say that he shows some promise…as much as one can, anyway.

Commercial.

Reyburt enters upon return. Followed by…Ted DiBiase? Okay…

Rey already bouncing around the ring, escaping Teddy. Rey to the top rope quickly, but a high dropkick mid-air, for two. A bit more bouncing, but Rey eats a clothesline that nearly makes his head roll. Teddy continues manhandling Mysterio, big DDT from Rey, hurricanrana, successful, second hurricanrana is caught by Teddy who drops the masked man. Dream Street misses, and Teddy is LAUNCHED into the ropes in 619 position, connects, and it’s over.

Grade: C
Too short, especially since it was just heating up. Rey and Ted meshed extremely well together, and their back and forth was incredible. Ted managed to look very, very strong while Rey still looked like the dominant partner. I would have liked to see it continue, but it will suffice as is.

Commercial.

A plug for Snooki’s match at Mania. Don’t even get me started.

Ah, that steel cage music. Oh. I guess that was all eventful enough because…

Commercial.

Both men enter, the cage is locked, and here we go. Christian charges, Alberto takes control, both men are wobbling all around. Christian goes for Killswitch, but Alberto fights out. Alberto quickly scales the side, Christian follows, both men teetering around the top. Alberto behind him for a belly to back suplex, but Christian holds on and climbs…until Alberto grabs him in a fireman’s carry and drops…but both are incapacitated.

Commercial. AGAIN.

Both men are up, except for Christian now, after a wicked kick. Christian is sent into the walls of the steel cage, and pressed hard into it. Christian is dropped once more, for a two-count. Del Rio climbs while Christian is down, but Christian grabs the ankle and pulls him back down, but it appears Alberto still has his flair. Backbreaker from Christian after being caught, for a near fall. And now it’s Alberto’s turn to be tossed into the cage wall, Christian crawls towards the open door but Alberto latches on. Christian climbs in the corner, and Alberto lands a hard kick. Now Christian is keeping del Rio from escaping through the door, but lets go, and then finally gets him. Alberto goes for Cross Arm Breaker, countered into the Killswitch, cover for two! Christian again climbs, to no avail. Alberto steps on Christian who is hung up on the second rope, using him to elevate himself. To the very top, but Christian is hot on his tail. Both men sitting pretty on the top bar, but Christian is knocked into a daze. Alberto descends, but Christian wraps around him, dropping farther, and plunges…to the ground! Christian wins!

Grade: A-
This is the first A I have ever awarded, and I feel it was deserved. Both men performed admirably, and made the steel cage match enthralling. Welcome back, Christian. We sure did miss you.

Alberto, as per usual, attack Christian after the match, but is stopped when he hears his car horn honking. Who is in the driver’s seat? Edge, of course! He discusses how beautiful the Bentley is. He then threatens to destroy the car, which drives Alberto mad. Who is that in the passenger seat? A chair. Oops. Brodus attacks Edge before he could finish his sentence, allowing Alberto to work on his arm, wedging a chair underneath, and smacking it hard with another chair. Alberto admires his handiwork, as officials run out, and credits roll.

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