Inside Pulse Wrestling WWE RAW Report – 03.21.2011: John Cena is LIVE!

Welcome to Inside Pulse Wrestling’s Live Coverage of WWE Monday Night RAW!

We open the show with Michael Cole in a fat suit pretending to be Jim Ross. He throws his hat at Jerry Lawler before taking refuge in the Cole Mine, complete with security guards. This segues into a Triple H promo segment.

Triple H ponders whether it will be the last time he competes in this business. Everyone is talking about this match and neither man knows how much this match will take out of them. This is Triple H’s biggest match of his life. The Streak is bigger than any of his title reigns and ending it will be a career defining moment. Triple H invites Undertaker to show up next week in Chicago so he can look him in the eye and tell him what will happen at WrestleMania. Triple H vows to beat the Undertaker or die trying. He also vows that the Undertaker will rest in peace.

His music plays and Ted DiBiase, Jr. makes his way down the ramp. He complains about being an afterthought. He has a great idea: that is to take out Triple H. He gets on the ring apron and he eats a mic shot to the head. Both men battle on the outside, but Triple H regroups and he makes DiBiase eat steel. The head meets steel and the back meets the barricade. Trips has a steel chair and he makes DiBiase taste it as well. He turns to the RAW Announce Table and he tears it apart. He sets DiBiase up and he Pedigrees him through the table.

John Cena responds to the Miz attacking him last week and the Miz rewrites “Miz”tory tonight.

Commercials.

Sheamus is in the ring for a rematch from a few weeks ago.

Sheamus v. Evan Bourne

Sheamus overpowers Bourne to start. He viciously attacks the ribs and Bourne has little chance. Bourne evades Sheamus and he kicks him in the head. SSP attempt MISSES! Sheamus connects with the Brogue Kick and that’s all.

Winner: Sheamus
Grade: N/R

Sheamus calls himself the champion of the USA and is promptly interrupted by Daniel Bryan. He wants to invoke his rematch clause at WrestleMania! Sheamus accepts by tossing the title at him and connecting with the Brogue Kick.

Randy Orton comes off his personal bus and he talks about taking out the New Nexus one member at a time and that all there is left is CM Punk.

Maryse is in the ring for her upcoming match.

Maryse v. Eve Torres

Maryse talks trash, but Eve Torres pops her a good one. This enrages Maryse and she takes it to Eve in the corner. Off the ropes, Maryse misses Eve Torres and Michael Cole is too bored. Eve Torres tells Michael Cole to shut up and she hits the standing moonsault on Maryse’s knees. Neckbreaker countered by Eve into a neckbreaker of her own for the pinfall.

Winner: Eve Torres
Grade: F

Eve Torres slaps Michael Cole a good one.

Commercials.

The Corre stand tall inside the ring as we return from commercials. Last Friday, they dismantled the Big Show and Kane. After that, we get Santino Marella and Vladimir Koslov.

Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel v. Santino Marella & Vladimir Koslov

Santino looks to end the match early with the Cobra, but Slater causes a distraction. Gabriel connects with a roundhouse and gets the tag to Slater. Slater works a chinlock and Santino breaks out of it. Slater tries to block the tag and the human bulldozer, Vladimir Koslov comes in. Barrett gets involved for a second and Koslov is down. Tag to Gabriel and he hits the 450 for the win.

Winners: The Corre
Grade: FTS

It’s now four-on-two until the Big Show and Kane make their way to the ring. Gabriel gets owned by Kane and Barrett gets sent back inside. The Big Show knocks out Slater and he goes after Ezekiel Jackson. Double Chokelsam on Jackson seals the deal. They shake hands with Santino and Vladimir.

Up Next: John Cena is LIVE……..

VIA SATELLITE!

Commercials.

Last week, John Cena got taken out by Alberto del Rio, Brodus Clay, and The Miz.

Josh Matthews asks John Cena what he will do next week when the Rock comes back to RAW. Cena says that he will face the Rock face-to-face and if there’s any problem…it will be settled. John Cena says that the Miz is worthy of being the WWE Champion. He hopes that the Miz rewrites history tonight, because at WrestleMania he will make history.

Michael Cole takes jabs at Cena and the Rock and he vows to further verbably own his WrestleMania opponent…NEXT!

Commercials.

In the ring…Jack Swagger and his lost puppy, Michael Cole. Swagger leaves the ring so Cole can have the spotlight. He reminds us what happened last week with Brian Christopher. It was so tasteless that we get to relive it. Speaking of Brian Christopher, he gave Michael Cole a gift – a photo album.

We view the photos on the album. Michael Cole also visited Memphis and he found out that Jerry and his dad were cowards and bullies. He calls the family a bunch of losers. Lawler gets out of his seat and he takes care of Jack Swagger. He goes after Cole, but Cole runs away and he lets Jack Swagger take care of him. Anklelock applied and Michael Cole takes control of the grip. They stand tall.

Commercials.

Michael Cole apologizes for what happened moments ago.

We go back to last week when Snooki got RAW.

Dolph Ziggler (w/LayCool and Vickie Guerrero) v. John Morrison (w/Trish Stratus)

Bell rings and they lock up. Ziggler catches Morrison with the rights and the referee breaks it up. Morrison gets a corner charge, but Ziggler stops it. Ziggler drops the elbow and gets a two count. Chinlock applied, but Morrison gets out of it. Morrison ducks under Ziggler and he dropkicks him. Ziggler gets sent out of the ring. He looks to dive out, but Michelle McCool stands in his way. Trish Stratus takes out LayCool and the RAW GMail changes the matchup…

Commercials.

Dolph Ziggler, LayCool, & Vickie Guerrero v. John Morrison & Trish Stratus

Back from the break it’s still Morrison and Ziggler. Morrison hits a modified Pele and he tags in Layla. This forces Trish Stratus to come in, though I thought it was billed as intergender rules, not mixed tag rules. Stratusfear connects on Layla and she continues to eat slap after slap. Layla reverses the whip and we get a tag to Michelle McCool. Kick connects to the temple and she attacks relentlessly. Cover and two, Trish counters into an airplane spin, but Layla gets tagged in. Tag to Vickie and she drops her ass on canvas. Tag to Morrison and Ziggler has to come in. Josh Matthews proves me right! Morrison misses Starship Pain and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag. Tag to Vickie Guerrero and she scores the pinfall.

Winners: Vickie Guerrero, LayCool, & Dolph Ziggler
Grade: FTS (Not even a Trish Stratus thong shot could save this match.)

Commercials.

Video package for HHH/Undertaker shown.

Randy Orton makes his way to the ring to face off with one of his WrestleMania 22 opponents, Rey Mysterio!

Commercials.

Randy Orton v. Rey Mysterio

Orton and Mysterio take it to each other and Mysterio scores with the kicks. Orton blocks a kick and uses a forearm before taking a break. He sends Mysterio out of the ring and it quickly goes to the floor. Back inside, Orton gets two. Orton drops the knees for another two count. Mysterio fights back, but Orton sends him to the corner. Mysterio fights out of the corner and he hits a seated senton. Orton comes back with a powerslam. Mysterio gets caught in a DDT position, but he counters for a 619 attempt. Orton counters that with the DDT and he coils up. CM Punk comes on the Tron and he says to Orton that he doesn’t know what sick and twisted is, but he wants to meet his wife. Orton races to his tour bus and CM Punk hits Orton in the back of the knee with a wrench. Punk says some parting words before he blows a kiss to Orton’s wife.

Commercials.

Alex Riley is in the ring and he says that he was fired as the Miz’s apprentice. But he was rehired to be the Miz’s personal speaker. The Miz talks about the people paying money to watch him. He brings up last week and he had rewritten history. He has more chrisma than Shawn Michaels, is more dominant than Andre the Giant, and is more intelligent than the Rock and John Cena combined. He has become bigger than the WWE Universe. He takes the WWE logo off the microphone and flips it upside down to form a M. He reveals the object on the table and that is…the WWE Title spinner belt with the W logo reversed. He doesn’t plan on being a multi-time champion, because he’s not going to lose the championship.

John Cena shows up on the TitanTron to mock the Miz. He warns the Miz that he made a mistake. The set changes and John Cena is LIVE IN PITTSBURGH! He dodges a table being thrown at him and Cena goes balls to the wall against the Miz and Alex Riley. Riley gets overpowered and the Miz sees that so he runs like a coward. Riley comes back inside and John Cena makes his ass tap out. Cena is bleeding a little bit on his cheek and Alex Riley is down and out.

Show over.

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