Pulse Wrestling Report: WWE Smackdown! — Christian, CM Punk, Alberto del Rio

Time is running out until the grand finale that is Wrestlemania. Tempers are rising and it’s heating up. To begin, we start with a recap of all the Edge/Alberto/Christian goodness we’ve been served in the last few weeks.

Straight from there, to Edge arguing with Teddy Long. Teddy makes it very clear that if Alberto and Edge so much as touch each other, they’ll be banned from Mania.

From there, we hit the obnoxious intro, and then Rey enters. CM Punk follows, for a Wrestlemania Rematch.

Here we go! Lock up, and Rey is in the corner. But wait, a hurricanrana into 619 position, but it’s obviously too early for that and Punk counters. Punk regains control, slowly laying down offense straight into an abdominal stretch. Reyburt fights out, up and over, and ejects Punk from the ring. He goes for another maneuver, but Punk is quick, and drops Rey hard on the barricade before a…

Commercial.

Both men back in the ring, Rey working on Punk to break out of a submission, but Punk brings him back down. Punk goes for a suplex, but Rey wiggles out, and Punk hits the Crossbody. Punk to the top rope, flies, but eats a dropkick from Rey. A series of kicks follows, and Punk is once more tossed out of the ring. Second attempt for the original spot, high moonsault from the top rope, but Cody Rhodes appears to attack Rey, ending the match.

Grade: B-
Punk came out looking very strong in this match, shooting Rey down at every attempt. Both traded the control like baseball cards throughout all of it, and I liked how it slowly built up into what it became. Would have been nice to see a solid finish, but I’m satisfied with it overall.

Cody launches the attack, draping Rey over the side of the ring before a series of headbutts, both are in the ring. Cody pulls his pant leg up, revealing a knee brace that he ultimately drives into Rey’s face, an homage to his predicament. From there, he exits, shoving cameras out of his face.

Backstage now, with Edge, and Christian approaches. He tries to get Edge to take the night off from his match against McIntyre, and Edge assures him he will not be stopped.

Commercial.

Edge is out first, followed by Drew.

And we’re off. Edge backs Drew into a corner, landing punches and kicks. But wait, Drew slams down on the injured arm, drapes him over the ropes and pulls. Back in the middle of the ring, stomping on the arm. Drew to the top rope, clutching the arm, but Edge tosses him away. He goes for his signature DDT, but the arm ailed him and he released him. Drew goes for Futureshock, but Edge counters into a submission, thankfully forgoing the Spear, and Drew taps.

Grade: C-
Very short, very to the point. I liked all the aggression pouring out from the two, but would have liked to have seen it go a bit longer.

Oh wait, there’s the Spear. Belt high in the air, and we’re done.

Commercial.

Come back for the obscenely long video package for HHH/Taker, and from there to…Joan Cena and Rosa entering. Can we move them to Raw, so that they can be used only as the eye candy they are, and I don’t have to suffer through watching them?

Commercial.

LayCool enters…in Jersey Shore garb. In slippers (someone please tell me why that’s a Snooki trait…actually, on second thought I don’t care) and tall poofs. I knew I liked them!

The two lovely LayCool members make fun of the fist-pumping, and Joan and Rosa take the opportunity to pounce. Looks like Joan taught Rosa to shake hair, but wait! A pretty solid suplex from Rosa! Michelle distracts, Rosa takes care of her, Layla hits a neckbreaker and it’s over.

Grade: F
Short. Very short.

Layla and Michelle take this moment to talk about their…I want to say “match”, but it’s not the right word…at Wrestlemania. Not much was said, but such is life.

From there, we transition into Corre and Big Show’s issues, along with a recap of their tension. And then we see Kofi and Barrett backstage for their big I-C match up. I wish I didn’t already know the finish…

Commercial.

Wade out, Kofi out.

Bell rings. Into the corner, Kofi tries for an early pinfall and fails. Kofi starts to bounce to the top rope, but is taken down by Barrett who then tries to stomp him into the mat. Pressed up against the rope, Kofi tucked between the middle and bottom, Barrett is pulled off but charges and lands a solid, nasty kick that sends Kofi hard to the ground. Barrett to the middle rope in the corner, plunges but misses. Kofi rolling and bouncing around, throws a dropkick, to the top rope, Crossbody, pin for two. Boom Drop, signals for Trouble in Paradise, Corre interrupts and distracts but Heath Slater receives the TiP instead. Kofi directs his TiP once more at Barrett, and it fluidly rolls over his shoulders into Wasteland position, which connects, and we have a new I-C champ, kids.

Grade: B
Wow! Who would have thought these two could look so good together? Everything was incredibly innovative, and the TiP rolling into Wasteland was magnificent. I could watch it on a loop over and over. Actually, I think I will do just that.

Corre’s not done yet. J-Gabe hits the 450, and all four celebrate.

Now it’s Alberto’s turn to argue with Teddy. He doesn’t think Teddy would dare take him out of the match, and Teddy chuckles at that notion.

Commercial.

Undertaker is entering with his ever-catchy-but-not-quite-the-same-as-the-chimes music. Smoke billows out from behind him as his seedy eyes size up the crowd. “The more things changes, the more they stay the same.” He thinks that Triple H is way over his head, and doesn’t quite have it all figured out. His streak is safe, he says, and claims that Triple H’s confidence is quavering. He promises that Trips will in fact be number 19, and turns to leave.

Commercial.

Jack Swagger makes his way out, and Cole is more than likely sportin’ wood. This means I have to hear Cole’s overly excited voice spitting into the microphone. R-Truth enters next, and for some reason I thought it was JTG when I heard the music cue up. Same difference.

Bell rings, and I guess we’re starting. Truth dropped hard, but his pimp hand is strong and he fights Swagger off momentarily. Truth pulls down the rope to a charging Swagger, causing him to be tossed out of the ring, and a tired-looking Truth jumps after him, hitting the floor in a jarring motion that leaves both men on the ground. Both back in, Truth to the top rope, cut down by Swagger, who begins working on the ankle. Ankle Lock is locked in, Truth reaches for the rope but can’t get there so he taps.

Grade: D+
Not bad from either man. Truth looks best with his serious face on. Despite Michael Cole’s shrill voice ringing in my ears, I enjoyed it for the most part.

Cole runs into the ring with a rap of sorts, and the two celebrate.

Commercial.

Alberto enters with his Spanish soap opera music, Brodus Clay right behind him, and we head to…

Commercial, again.

Captain Charisma’s turn, with Edge by his side.

Here we go! Christian stops Alberto in his tracks, but the big man finds a way to regain control. Christian is thrown into the turnbuckle as Alberto charges but Christian sends Alberto over his shoulder, falling loudly outside the ring. Christian immediately flies over the top rope for a Crossbody, and both men are down.

Commercial.

Both are back in, Christian still flying about annnd…Alberto is out of the ring again. Christian follows, allowing Alberto the upper hand as he drives his arm into the steel steps. Edge is pacing, wanting to help but knowing he can’t. Both back in, still working on the left shoulder. Alberto goes up top, but Christian stops him, climbs up, and a wicked hurricanrana. Christian gets fired up, to the top rope, goes flying for a Crossbody but it misses. Alberto charges for his famous kick, and misses. But a DDT puts Christian back on top. He goes for the pin, but Ricardo places his foot on the rope to break the count. Edge comes rounding the corner, forcing Ricardo away but is taken out by Brodus. Christian is distracted, Alberto goes for the Cross Arm Breaker which Christian avoids, attempts the Killswitch, which is fought out of, he hits a dropkick, pins for two. Cross Arm Breaker is locked in, but Christian is on the ropes, so it’s broken up. Double clothesline. Edge Spears Brodus, grabs a chair and goes nuts with it. Back to the ring, Alberto is on his feet, Christian hits the Killswitch, and it’s over!

Grade: B+
Christian and Alberto…this just works. I’m speechless. Keep it up, boys!

Uh oh. Edge enters the ring with a chair, eyeing Alberto. His eyes are bulging so hard, they might fall out of his head. Christian tears the chair away from him, trying to keep him calm. Edge stares at Christian, who then turns to finish the job himself, a solid crack hitting Alberto square in the back. Edge bellows into Alberto’s ear and Christian tears him off of the fallen Superstar.

Credits roll…unfortunately.

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