The O’Really Report – RhettsleMania Gone Wild! (featuring Cena/Rock/Triple H/Undertaker/Corre/Snooki)

The Showcase of the Immortals.  The Grandest Stage of Them All.  WrestleMania is upon us!  The card is stacked, the future is on the line, and the legends of yesteryear are on their final legs making their way out the door.  So much is riding on just one night in wrestling.   I’m going to make a breakdown of everyone involved and what they need to do to make the largest impact on the biggest stage of them all.  But before we get to that there are some matters that need tending to…

Facebook:  Rhett Davis

Twitter:  @radmann9

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You can also check out my 10 Thoughts on Monday Night Raw here.

A week away from the Pulse and I feel like I’ve missed so much, but now I’m back and it’s time… for your Weekly Wednesday Wrestling Stop for all things WRESTLEMANIA centered. I’m your host Rhett Davis and these are my picks for WrestleMania XXVII!

For the record, I am doing these matches in order I feel they will occur in the show, NOT by preference or importance.  Anyways back to business as usual…

Match #1:  Cody Rhodes vs Rey Mysterios

Honestly I debated between whether this or the U.S. title match should open, but opening the show with these two fast paced stars would make for a more memorable opening.

Cody Rhodes:  Cody can look great in a win or a loss if he brings his A game.  With Rey Mysterios, he can do some pretty innovative maneuvers and he shouldn’t hold back.  Cody needs to come in with a total brutal offense.  After all, it was Rey who made him no longer Dashing.

Rey Mysterios:  The Master of the 619 CHOSE Cody to be the man who faces him at Mania.  Having Cody job to him really doesn’t make a lot of sense, unless of course Rey just wanted Cody to make himself look good.  I doubt that’s the case, and with Rey on his last legs, (literally) its time for Rey to pass down the torch.

Outcome:  Cody should win by hitting Rey with a phenomenal move from the top rope (maybe a CrossRhodes?) and then pin Rey with no shenanigans.  Post match Cody goes for the mask of Rey and Rey counters by taking off Cody’s mask.  Cody freaks and Rey hits the 619.

Match #2:  United States Championship:  Sheamus (c) vs Daniel Bryan

A match that was recently added with no real back story except they had a confrontation a few weeks ago and then Sheamus challenged him with his career on the line to take the belt.

Sheamus:  Sheamus has lost a LOT of steam since his feud with Morrison.  When he fought him, it seemed like he was ready for big time as a main-eventer, but since then he had a pointless losing streak to only have him challenge Bryan as a last second chance to get him on the card.  As long as he looks dominant, the Celtic Warrior will do just fine.

Daniel Bryan:  I love watching DB wrestle, but he only got on the card because of Sheamus lacking an opponent.  He’s easily one of the top competitors in the company, but I don’t like his chances of winning.

Outcome:  Sheamus wins in what will probably be like last year’s Rey/Punk match where we just complain that it didn’t go longer.  Sheamus wins by hitting DB with a nasty Brogue Kick after fighting out of the LeBell Lock. Post match Awesome Kong comes out and teases knocking out Sheamus before clobbering Gail Kim and Daniel Bryan.  Well wishful thinking anyways.

Match #3:  The Corre (Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, and Ezekiel Jackson) vs The Big Show, Kane, Santino Marrella, Vladimir Kozlov

Take out the Money in the Bank Ladder match and what do you get?  Two multiple partner tag matches.  However, I’m glad they finally decided to add this match.  All this adding last second… what is this TNA?  For a second, I was scared this would replace the pre-show battle royal or just wouldn’t make the show.  Wade seemingly like one of WWE’s hottest new stars (main-evented a few PPVs like Survivor Series) would have surprised me to not get a spot on the show.  I’m going to do this in bulk instead of by each one as I will do the Snooki match.

The Corre:  With the hottest angle in the past year (or couple of years depending on your optimism), it would’ve been a shame to get at least Wade Barrett on the show.  All in all, this stable is finally making an impact after being transferred over to the Blue show.  Ezekiel needs to take down the Big Show, if he does nothing else he needs to do that.  Slater just needs to breathe in some more oxygen and enjoy his paycheck on the apron.  Gabriel needs to hit the 450 Splash.  And last of all, Wade should be the leader despite the group being ‘leaderless.’  Wade needs to be ruthless though.  He needs to be ordering his men around left and right and take control of the match.

The Other Guys:  I wish they would’ve gone with Christian and Kofi instead of the goof squad, but they should provide some moments at least.  It is their first WrestleMania to be fighting after all.  Big Show needs to flatten Slater or Wade with his Knockout punch after taking a lot of damage from the gangba… gang advantages that the Corre utilizes.  Kane and Kozlov can take the brunt of the damage although I imagine this match will be rather short in order to leave more time for the main events.  Santino can provide some comedy with his combination of comedic moves.

Outcome:  The most dominant force in the WWE will win! Run!  or the English translation…The Corre!  This match could easily go either way, but I hope that WWE realizes that Wade Barrett’s Mania record is a little more important than Big Show’s 1-8, Kane’s 5-7, and Santinslov’s 0-0 record.  If Corre is to win, then Wade needs to hit the Wasteland on Santino for the ultimate heat.

Match #4:  Randy Orton vs CM Punk

Another MOTN contender but I don’t believe it will be as entertaining as the opening contest.  Orton just doesn’t have that many 5 Star matches despite who he faces.

Randy Orton:  With the Punt taken away from Orton’s arsenal, we don’t have to worry about Punk taking an extended leave of absence anytime soon!  Randy needs to be the viper he has been and really goes out of his way to be sneaky and throw some more lazy punches.  The leg should play a large part of the match, but that shouldn’t affect his RKO.  Randy really needs this win to be taken as a serious top face in the WWE.

CM Punk:  Punk should prove why he’s a ring technician and start pulling out some submission moves for this match.  Especially any that could weaken the knee of Randy such as the Sharpshooter, Surfboard, Boston Crab, etc.  Orton should almost be easy pickings for Punk in this match as he pulls him apart limb from limb.

Outcome:  I suspect this will be a slower match than the opening, but altogether still a stellar performance.  The best finish I can depict would be Orton crying out in anguish as Punk builds pressure on the knee until Orton ‘passes out.’ When the referee goes to raise his hand he lifts it up on the third time and fights out of the move only to get clobbered over the head by a kick and then Punk picks up Orton to hit the GTS with a maniacal smile.  Orton comes back to life, fights out of the GTS, and hits the RKO to get the win.  I’d love to see Punk win, but as I said earlier Orton needs the win much more than he and Punk can keep his heat without winning.  Why?  Because he’s that good.

Match #5:  World Heavyweight Championship:  Edge (c) vs Alberto Del Rio (w/ Brodus Clay)

With more or less a tri-main event (as it usually is with the two titles and the Streak), they can’t all go back-to-back.  Where would the Diva’s match go?  They obviously put that match second to last because it’s the epitome of women’s wrestling right?  Or maybe it’s to see if they can break the year before’s most-people-at-the-bathroom-at-once record… Anyways, they need one of the main events a little early and I can’t see the Miz/Cena or Taker/HHH match coming on this early.

Edge:  Edge needs to be resilient in this match as it will be a battle of who can cheat better Edge or Del Rio?  This match needs to be back and forth with a combination of seeing how far they can go before getting caught by the referee.  Edge needs to try and hit the Spear multiple times in the match with Del Rio dodging or reversing it in order to build tension.  At the end Edge needs to finally hit the Spear on Del Rio if for nothing more than to get a HUGE pop from the audience.

Alberto Del Rio:  Cheating is the name of the game.  Any opportunity to steal the win Del Rio needs to try.  I believe he will enter with Brodus Clay, but Christian will take care of that distraction.  It gives Christian a reason to be on the show and gives another twist to the match.  While Edge is desperately trying to hit his Spear, Del Rio needs to be destroying the arm of Edge in preparation for his Cross Armbar.

Outcome:  After Edge finally hits his Spear, Del Rio needs to land purposefully on the side of the ring and land his foot on the rope as the ref counts three.  Edge jumps up to celebrate and the referee is telling him no because his foot was on the rope.  When Edge finally realizes this, he picks ADR up and receives a low blow by Rio and then while he is ‘preoccupied’ Del Rio locks in the Armbar and Edge taps out.

Match #6:  The Talk the Talk Battle:  Jerry Lawler vs Michael Cole (w/ Jack Swagger) Special Referee: Steve Austin

This is one of the matches I’m looking forward to the most.  Not for the actual wrestling because Lord knows this one is going to suck technically speaking.  Jerry may have been able to have a great match with The Miz, but we’re talking about Michael Cole here.

Jerry Lawler:  With Steve Austin as the referee, there should be no doubt as to who wins, but Jerry should just pummel the rat-like qualities of Cole’s face away.  Oh and the Piledriver needs to be reintroduced just for one occasion.  Anyone think Cole can pull off Andy Kaufman?  I think he might.

Michael Cole:  Cole’s trainer should make a fair amount of controversy in this match and help Cole by tripping up King and hitting him when Austin isn’t looking.  Once Austin sees Swagger do something wrong he won’t eject him; he’ll give him a Stunner for his troubles.  That way this is a ‘fair’ one on one match.  The only offense I see Cole getting in is his AnCOLE Lock, but once Swagger is Stunned the end of the match will be in sight…

Outcome:  Jerry Lawler beats Michael Cole with the flying punch and then the Piledriver.  Post-match Steve Austin and Jerry Lawler celebrate in the ring (with Steveweisers) until Cole gets back to his feet and is offered a beer and well we know what happens after that.  Who knows, Swagger may even join the party as well!

Match #7:  The Battle of Last Outlaws, No Holds Barred Match:  Triple H vs The Undertaker

Many think that this will be the last match, but if Raw should any indicator then the Miz/Cena/Rock confrontation will end the show.  Until Raw, this match could’ve opened the show and I wouldn’t have cared.  But the epic confrontation on Monday Night has made this feud.  Why couldn’t they have done this WEEKS ago?  With both men being out for over 6 months, there will definitely be some ring rust, but when dealing with two of the biggest names ever, we can know that this match won’t disappoint.

Triple H:  With the No Holds Barred stipulation, Triple H can pull out his fancy old Sledgy.  I’m sure she’s lonely hiding under the ring with those stiffs like Kendo and Moppie.  He can pull out all the tricks that made him the Cerebral Assassin and with him being a prominent member of The Family, maybe we can get some blood?  Some blood would go nicely on my Outlaw Sandmatch.  It certainly would intensify this match and really make this seem even more brutal.  Expect to see the Heartbreak Kid make this match.  I expect him to interfere on behalf of Triple H to give him that extra boost to win this match and end the Streak.

The Undertaker:  The Deadman needs to do what he’s done in his last 18 Mania matches: dominate and outwit.  The Streak will never be broken.  The Deadman won’t let that happen and frankly I hope it never is.  It provides so much suspense for whoever is trying to overcome the odds and beat Mean Mark Calloway.  Taker also needs to step it up in this match and pull out all the stops to out-cerebral the assassin.  I’d love if he pulled out a bike chain and they had a duel of the items of choice.  HBK could be the outside factor to this entire match though…

Outcome:  Shawn Michaels will come out and fake attacking Triple H (in order to prove that the Game can’t do it) and instead Superkick Taker.  After a few minutes of total demolition on Undertaker, the Deadman will finally regain his feet and throw Triple H through a table long enough to get Shawn alone in the ring to put the Hell’s Gate on him and take care of the interference.  When the Game returns, they fight for a few minutes more with Trips taking control until Taker finally hits the Tombstone for the three.  The Undertaker celebrates in a ring of total carnage until we cut to a video package for the next match so they can clean up… ugh.

Match #8:  The Battle of Bathroom Breaks:  John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs Dolph Ziggler/LayCool

No I didn’t forget about this match, but I’m expecting both of the two big main events to be lengthy so a bathroom break in between wouldn’t hurt anyone.  I’m about as excited about this one as everyone else…

Team JoMo:  John Morrison should be in a better position than chaperone (don’t think Triple H) to Snooki, but he should do some memorable moves that make the highlight reel.  Remind me why this guy can’t be a world champion, yet he’s on the highlight reel every PPV?  Snooki should get very limited time in the ring, but just enough to make media news and show off her ‘sick’ new moves.  Oh yeah she’s bringing Vickie and LayCool too. Yeah I don’t understand it either.  Trish should put in some time to split with JoMo and get some good moves in like the Chick Kick and maybe the Stratusphere?

Team Ziggles:  I still support my theory that Cole and Vickie could be stable managers as Vickie has literally done all the talking for this side of the feud minus McCool on commentary.  Dolph should also get adequate time and hold most of the match with JoMo pulling out some flashy maneuvers of his own.  McCool should definitely get in there and tie it up with Trish as it seems to me that WWE wants her to be the next Trish.  So it seemed a few years back anyways.  Layla probably won’t do much except be on the receiving end of the Drunken Jersey Snooki beatdown.

Outcome:  I don’t know.  I can see JoMo getting the pin, or Trish, or Snooki.  But regardless, expect the good guys/girls to win.  I’ll go with Snooki pulling some move that Trish taught her and catching Layla off guard for the pinfall.

Match #9:  The Battle of the Microphones:  The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs John Cena

The final match of the night will see The Awesome One The Miz taking on Barney’s Turd John Cena.  With The Rock being the guest host, you can bet your bottom dollar that Rocky will be in on this one.  Maybe I’m slow, but I just realized only three titles are on the line… hmmm… strange.  Anyways this match should be a decent one, but by no means the best match of the night.

The Miz:  Like Del Rio, Miz needs to be aggressive, but looking for any advantage that he can find.  Riley should interfere heavily during the opening minutes of the match as he did during the Lawler match.  During the match The Rock’s music should hit and out runs The Rock to take out the Varsity Villain. (he did cheap shot him on Raw) Without A-Ri, Miz needs to step it up (in no correlation to the dance movie) and let Rock get in Cena’s head while Miz tears Cena apart.  The Miz, like Del Rio/Rhodes/Wade, needs a huge WrestleMania night in order to keep himself at the top of the card and not fall through.

John Cena:  Cena just needs to do like he always does.  Let Miz get the upper hand in the beginning using all of his dirty tactics until he makes a mistake and then Cena will get the upper hand.  Rock will be running interference during the match and at one point the referee should get knocked down in order for The Rock to layeth the Smackdowneth on both Cena and The Miz.

Outcome:  Rock will interfere in multiple points in the match, but will not be a factor in the ending fall.  I can see this match going either way with the win, but if it ends the PPV then you can count on John Cena coming up with the win.  Miz will hit the Skull Crushing Finale, but Cena will kick out to Miz’s shock.  As Miz grabs the now M WWE Title and attempts to hit Cena in the head for the DQ, Cena will duck and hit the FU and then lock in the STFU to have Miz tapping to end the match.  Post match Rock will walk in the ring with a mic and the title and tell John that he has earned his respect.  Despite the controversies, Cena has overcome the odds and won not only the WWE Championship, but The Rock’s respect.  He shakes Cena’s hand and we get a 20 minute celebration with The Rock and John Cena.  Show close.

Thanks for reading and sorry for the length.  Yeesh I broke my last record. By over 2,000…

Plugs:  Make sure you check out Glazer’s in depth look at some of the Inside Pulse Writer’s opinions on WrestleMania (minus mine :/ ) here.

Oh and don’t forget the Ragiest Rager on the Raging Planet Chris Sanders here.

And last but not least let’s not leave out the ‘humble’ writer on the circuit Mike Gojira with his look at the hardest thing to analyze in wrestling right now: WrestleMania. (hypocritical I know right?)

And quite frankly my dear… that’s a wrap.

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