The last WWE show until Wrestlemania promises to be a good one, with appearances from all the big boys. Right off the bat, we get a rematch for the Intercontinental Championship, with Wade Barrett entering first. He dons the freshly won title as Josh jabbers on about the match between Corre and Team Clusterfuck on Sunday. Kofi is out next, looking all kinds of furious.
Bell rings and we’re off. Kofi springs into action, landing some hard kicks and attempting an early Trouble in Paradise, which misses. Kofi eats Barrett’s giant boot, launching him outside the ring, and Wade follows. He drives Kofi into the side of the ring, then into the barricade. Both men back in the ring, Barrett raising his fist high in a Jericho-esque fashion. Kofi locked into a submission hold, builds up. To the top rope, high crossbody, pins Barrett for two. Boom Drop connects, signals for Trouble in Paradise, but knocked the hell down by another big boot. Wasteland position, fought out of and placed on the top rope, leaps over Barrett and TiP connects. Kofi pins, but out comes Corre to end the match.
Grade: D+
Completely, a million percent predictable. Did you all really think he’d lose it, or even win clean? Shamon.
Obviously, Santino and Kozlov run out, and the new besties, Big Show and Kane, follow. An entire brawl breaks out, reminding us that this match is still happening on Sunday, and the babyfaces clear the ring, peeling Kofi off the mat.
A recap of Cody’s interference of Rey and Punk’s match. Leading into Striker backstage, to interview the Death Eater Dashing Cody Rhodes, who has his mask and towel hiding his face. He starts crying about his broken face, and promises to end Rey Mysterio at Wrestlemania.
Commercial.
We’re back with a look at Axxess. From there, we go to the HHH/Taker video, and back to…
Commercial.
Another look at Axxess, and back with the Bellas. All three are discussing CM Punk and Randy Orton and…now there’s a video package for the two of them. And…
ANOTHER DAMN COMMERCIAL.
You guessed it, more Axxess stuff! I don’t remember them raping Smackdown with stuff like this last year. Hall of Fame plug, now. This time, profiling the Road Warrior’s induction.
More. Commercials. I’m going to snap.
A recap of Raw. Swagger vs Lawler, this time. Really? A full recap? This ain’t Superstars…
Oh, hey look! Smackdown is on! Cool. Lawler walks out for his promo, and Michael Cole’s box is empty. King starts off by discussing what Cole has done in recent weeks to him, including bringing his son out. He says that Cole is scared, and claims that he only puffs out his chest so far because Swagger was on his side. From there, he says that Stone Cold will take care of Swagger, leaving Cole all alone. His final sentence is a vow to finally shut Cole up, and the crowd goes wild (sort of)!
Now, to see all the publicity Wrestlemania has brought. You know, because why would I want to watch wrestling? I want to see these men posing and giving a thumbs up.
Commercial. I can only hope we’re just getting this stuff out of the way for the good stuff…right?
More Axxess shit. Getting a teensy bit angry here…a full Raw recap of HHH/Taker/Shawn. Not that watching Shawn doesn’t bring a smile to my face, but come on. We were there. We saw this. That’s Raw. This is Smackdown. Please, please, move on!
Commercial.
More Axxess. More plugging. More videos.
Commercial.
More Axxess. More Bellas. More Snooki. More videos.
And now, ladies and gentleman, Mr. Conway Twitty!
Commercial.
Hey! More Axxess! A plug about Edge. And let me guess…
Commercial.
Back with a recap again of Cody and Rey. Could this mean…? It does! Cody Rhodes is entering! In ring gear! Halle-fucking-lujah. Followed by Chris Masters. Which means this match will last about eight seconds. But it’s still better than anything Axxess related.
Cody pounces, backing Masters into a corner. But he gets some chops into the Dashing One. But wait, all the cameras need to turn to Michael Cole during a real match, who is stomping back to his box. Back to Cody, he stomps on Master’s face, but rallies. Almost locks in the Masterlock, but Cody reaches the ropes. CrossRhodes. Done.
Grade: D-
At least there was a bit of action.
Rey runs out and attacks. Cody hung up on the ropes, Rey reveals his knee brace, but Cody slithers away.
Aw, Chris Jericho on DWTS. He looks fantastic! I might actually start watching that show. Might.
Commercial.
More Axxess. This time we get to see all of Cena’s cars! Boy, they weren’t kidding when they refused to consider themselves a wrestling company, were they?
Oh god. It’s not even a live confrontation? They’ve been hyping all night about The Rock and Cena…from Raw? Well, that’s what it is.
What a waste of god damn time. I know for a fact it was not like this last year. I understand they’re all super busy with Wrestlemania stuff. But it’s just Smackdown. This was ridiculous. Two whole matches, one sort of promo from a Raw star, three full recaps, and endless Axxess blurbs? Excellent.
