For Your Consderation…An Indiscriminate Number of Thoughts on Wrestlemania XXVII

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For Your Consderation…An Indiscriminate Number of Thoughts on Wrestlemania XXVII

Welcome to the longest running, action-adventure, passive-aggressive, Mania recapping with easy-to-follow numbers column on the world wide web, For Your Consideration. I am your granddaddy of them all host, Andrew Wheeler, and this is the first of TWO columns going up on Pulse today from yours truly. Now I missed the live showing of Wrestlemania because of scheduling issues, but thanks to modern technology, I will be able to recap the whole show for you a mere 12 hours late (though as a caveat I would like to add that I have been on a media blackout since the event so as to not taint my opinion in any way).

Since I will be doing a full Judicial Review later on tonight (like an outlet in a Motel 6, that’s a cheap plug), I figured I would dust off the always popular numerical thoughts format. Now unlike the 10 thoughts that you see from several esteemed writers here on Pulse, I like to go beyond the confines and have been known to top out at over 100. It’s basically the Judicial Review you know and love, minus the chronicling of every rest hold and dropkick.

Remember that you can follow me on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/awheeler316), find me on Facebook, or just post in the comment section down below

An Indiscriminate Number of Thoughts on Wrestlemania XXVII

1. We open with the ridiculous crowd in Atlanta to start with Keri Hilson singing “America the Beautiful” and I have no idea who she is.

2. The set looks very cool, though the giant girders make it look like Dr. Octopus is standing behind her and about to attack.

3. Who thought it was a good idea to pipe in the fake airplane noise?

4. Who the hell is doing the introductory voice over? It’s like the start of SNL.

5. The opening video is used to introduce The Rock, though for a second I thought Abraham Washington was about to come out.

6. The Rock wastes no time starting the show, though he’s decked out in a track suit like an assistant coach.

7. The Rock’s logo on the back of his track suit looks like the Houston Texans logo, which kinda threw me for a second. Makes me flash back to Mania X-7 when some random guy had a Texans sign on the aisle.

8. The whole building is tinted blue, which I guess is what someone sees if he took too much Viagra (by far the strangest side-effect I’ve ever heard of).

9. Rock does his posing in the corner and this entrance is probably longer than the Bryan/Sheamus match will be.

10. Thankfully there is no sign of that giant floating screen in the middle of the ring. There is, however, a slightly askew sign hanging above the ring.

11. The roar of people in Atlanta is pretty damn insane. After watching the History of Wrestlemania DVD and hearing about the issues guys have had with noise at stadium shows, it’s nice to actually be able to HEAR the deafening chants in real time.

12. Finally The Rock has come back to Atlanta, Wrestlemania, and (for you shareholders) the merchandise table.

13. The Rock promises that this will be the most memorable Wrestlemania of all time. It already is as I’m pretty hard-pressed to think of too many Manias that started with an in-ring promo.

14. According to The Rock, you can taste Wrestlemania. I’m gonna imagine it tastes like Muscle Milk and self-tanner.

15. The Rock plays Sing-a-long with The Rock as we get a “Wrestle” “Mania” chant. Not quite “Orange” and “Blue”, but it works.

16. Rock takes a shot at John Cena’s merchandise again, and we get a great Fruity Pebbles sign in the crowd.

17. It’s at this point where the giant crowd becomes a problem, as there are so many chants that no one can get one unified one. All I hear are like 8 guys chanting for cereal.

18. The Rock drinks some of The People’s Water…available now at ShopZone.

19. We now get a “Yabba Dabba” chant led by The Rock. Can we follow that up with a chant of “Trademark Infringement”?

20. Rocky runs through some more of his catchphrases like a greatest hits concert, but who cares because the fans are really into it. My fear is that this is going to burn out the audience early, so we may be in for a few hours of people sitting on their hands until he’s back.

21. The Rock says that “If you smell…” belongs to The People. If by the people you mean the Marketing Department, then you’re 100% right.

22. Note to people who are doing the microphone thing with their hands when doing the catchphrase: it looks like you’re blowing an invisible giant. That is all.

23. I love every Wrestlemania opening video package. The production folks always do an incredible job, and this one is no different.

24. I was worried they wouldn’t show Hogan, but we got a shot of him with Andre.

25. Biggest glaring omission from the video package was Jerry Lawler, but I’m sure he’ll get a nice plug later in the show.

26. There’s pyro, there’s ballyhoo, and there is one hell of a giant Wrestlemania sign. Sadly we open with Michael Cole, who is still in his Dr. Jeckyl phase.

27. Are they REALLY opening with Edge/Del Rio? I can hear thousands of internet people’s heads exploding all over the place.

28. Del Rio just drove up through the stage. Tremendous. Add to that his old school sparkly robe and we may finally have a true heel in 2011.

29. The announce team sounds like Cole, Lawler and Matthews, though we’ve oddly yet to get an on-cam from them. Even more surprising is that we haven’t gotten to see if the Spanish Announce Team is there, because I’m sure Vince would have loved to have them sing his praises.

30. Out next is…Christian. So Brodus Clay gets no intro (he materialized out of fat air) but Christian does?

31. Just as I finish typing that, we finally get the on-cams, including Carlos and Hugo.

32. Edge’s introduction is hindered a bit because of Del Rio’s car being there. If that thing hasn’t been moved yet, chances are it’s getting smashed up sometime tonight.

33. Well the giant floating cube of death has in fact returned. No room for Evan Bourne, but at least we got that thing on camera.

34. Brodus Clay just seems to make odd grunting noises like Mongo from Blazing Saddles.

35. Something about that big gold belt being defended in Atlanta that just feels odd. Probably why Vince put it on first, just to stick it to the WCW loyalists in attendance (all 3 of them).

36. The first match finally starts 20 minutes into the show. That’s not a great way to start the excitement. Hopefully that means there won’t be a lot of filler.

37. Del Rio is great at taking a bump over the top rope.

38. Glad Christian is earning his pay by banging on the mat. Don’t get me wrong, I love to see him on the show, but not just for the sake of watching him keep rhythm.

39. Alberto works over Edge’s already injured arm. The beauty of their prior altercations is that Del Rio doesn’t need to spend a lot of time establishing that Edge is hurt. It immediately makes any action to Edge’s arm mean more. Some may call it a cop-out, but I like it.

40. Del Rio takes a second bump to the outside. They look great but one day he’s gonna screw it up and hurt himself.

41. Edge with a summersault plancha to the outside? Fantastic.

42. Alberto going for a pinfall right after the top rope armbar with a look of desperation was about ten different, subtle things at once.

43. Christian’s back to banging on the mat, making him the Ringo of the match (making Edge the rest of The Beatles, which feels appropriate).

44. Matthews makes a random blanket statement about how Christian being out there has already helped Edge. How? Is he banging out a strategy in Morse Code? Please just stop saying things on the headphone just to say it.

45. The Cross-Arm-Breaker’s first appearance got broken up quickly, but the crowd immediately reacted when he locked it in. The company did a nice job of establishing it as a killer hold.

46. Christian ducking Clay’s clothesline looked great. Nice camera work to get that angle just right.

47. Edgecution marks Edge’s first finishing move of the match. Instead of going for the token pin, he sets it up for The Spear. Again, the crowd goes batshit for the attempt.

48. Clay interference into the Cross-Arm-Breaker attempt seemed like the right finish. Love that Edge tried to block it with his hands and then tried for a pin.

49. Edge locked in his own submission hold , which should have lacked some credibility because Edge’s arm is supposed to be all injured.

50. Christian took out Clay, so I guess he isn’t turning.

51. Spear out of nowhere and Del Rio is beaten. That was kinda anticlimactic. What was the point of building up Alberto Del Rio for months only for him to need tons of outside interference and STILL lose?

52. The match felt short to me, and the finish just kinda came out of the blue.

53. Edge is walking up the ramp by himself without Christian, which seems odd. Maybe these are where the seeds of dissension are going to come, in that Christian felt he saved Edge’s belt and yet wasn’t part of the celebration.

54. Edge puts his title on Del Rio’s car as the fans chant “Do it”, adding Alberto’s car to the list along with cakes and trophies.

55. Edge beats on the car like a Street Fighter bonus level.

56. Christian appears at the top of the ramp (what the hell? Did he transport?) with a crowbar and a pipe, and they vandalize the car further. Did they learn nothing from the company based in Atlanta that wasting all this money on destroying cars does very little in the long term?

57. Cole rants about how Edge should be in jail for that, and I can’t really disagree.

58. What the hell is the point of Brodus Clay if he couldn’t even stop Edge from destroying the car? He is the worst bodyguard ever.

59. A Tough Enough commercial airs, so congrats to everyone who paid $65 to watch a commercial.

60. Cody Rhodes gets an AWESOME new entrance of news clippings about his deformed face. He plays the character perfectly as he walks out, showing that he has what it takes to be a top heel.

61. We get Smackdown replays instead of a video package, which is odd. Even odder is the fact that the Dusty Rhodes turn wasn’t even mentioned.

62. Rey is dressed like Captain America, which looks awesome.

63. Rey going after the mask to start the match was a nice touch.

64. The opening of the match feels very frantic, like they have a lot of nervous energy. Hopefully once they settle in it won’t look like it was booked by a Crystal Meth addict.

65. A fan in the front row has a Broski of the Week sign, which represents the only mention of Zack Ryder we’ll get all night.

66. Cody Rhodes bringing back the Alabama Slam. Somewhere Bob Holly just paused from potatoing a rookie at an indie show to yell at his television.

67. The match slowed down but sadly the crowd just got quiet. The pitfalls of a giant stadium.

68. A standing suplex on the second rope is a surefire way to get people to cheer for Rhodes, and sure enough they did. Impressive move, though.

69. Cody’s been doing a fine job dominating the match, but the audience is so primed for a Rey comeback that it’s like they’re saving their energy. Sure enough the second Rey goes for 619 they come to life.

70. At some moments and from some angle, Rey looks like a kid in a Halloween costume, making this all the more disturbing.

71. Cody pulled off the knee brace, and the brace gets cheered. Fickle crowd.

72. Cody’s mask pops off and he gets a 619. Rey comes off the top rope and it looked like something got botched but in the end Rhodes got kicked in the face.

73. Rey puts on Cody’s mask, which is like double-bagging your face.

74. Rey drops the dime with the mask but Cody kicked out. Guess Rhodes got Wrestlemania finishing move kick-out powers.

75. Rhodes plastered Rey with the knee brace to his face and wins with CrossRhodes. Good win for Cody at Wrestlemania. Hopefully it means something down the line.

76. Okay match. Didn’t steal the show like they had hoped, but it was perfectly passable.

77. Who the hell invited Snoop Dogg? This better count as the one and only wacky segment we get all night.

78. William Regal rapping was worth every penny for this show.

79. Beth Phoenix? I remember her.

80. Zack Ryder singing “Friday” was tremendous. Piper laying him out was a nice touch.

81. Masters and Tatsu were disturbing. Nice to see Team Superstars.

82. The Fuckin’ Midget shows up like Ice Cube and makes noises like a rabbi with laryngitis. Music starts and he starts to rap, killing his gimmick like Kane did with the trombone. Oh, and the Bella Twins dance behind him…even though they were heels. They turn more than The Big Show.

83. Speaking of Big Show, it’s time for the convoluted 8-man tag. Who would have thought that Team Hilary Swank would have all that gold while PuNexus are watching this show from Tampa?

84. Big Show and Kane looked like fearsome monsters…until Show decided to wave at a kid.

85. Santino has added a shimmy to his in-ring walk as we are informed that Kozlov was attacked by Team Hilary Swank at Axxess.

86. Kofi Kingston earns his Mania payday. That’s ghanna make some folks happy. Remember when he was almost considered a legitimate Superstar with potential? Yeah, me neither.

87. Ezekiel Jackson has the power now to take Big Show down with a clothesline.

88. Everyone comes in and hits all their moves in the first minute, allowing Santino to do The Cobra into a knockout punch by Show and the thing is over before it began. That’s gonna be rough for all the people who counted on this to be their bathroom break.

89. I think the entrances took longer than the match itself…not that I’m complaining.

90. Santino does his Trombone Nonsense, but thankfully Kane doesn’t join in again.

91. The Rock and Eve are together in the back. Rock lets her feel his muscles, which makes up for her not having a match on the show.

92. The Rock promises to make a magical moment, and of course it’s Mae Young. She demands some of The Rock’s penis, which is still somehow disturbing despite knowing that it’s coming.

93. The Rock turns around again and it’s Rock and Austin on screen together. Great moment.

94. The Orton/Punk video package is great, even if it did feature Manuseless. It’s also strange to see Punk with hair and fairly clean-shaven.

95. Punk denies the audience “Clobberin’ time”, which is just cruel.

96. Orton’s music gets a massive pop. Matthews says that Randy has the psychological advantage, which is so clearly wrong. Didn’t Punk take out Orton with a wrench AND lay him out with the GTS? That’s called psychological advantages…neither of which held by Randy.

97. Orton poses with the swirling cube of destruction behind him. That thing just looks ridiculous.

98. Orton takes eight seconds to revert to punches.

99. Punk avoided getting whipped into the steel steps by leaping onto them, which looked awesome.

100. At least the crowd here is chanting and yelling throughout, which is a nice change of pace from the Rey match.

101. Punk mocking Orton for being injured is classic heel technique.

102. Randy is showing frustration due to his injury. We recognize that emotion since we’ve seen it from him when working with people who blow spots. I half-expect him to yell “Stupid!” at his knee.

103. Punk’s look of amazement when he hits the turnbuckle clothesline is amusing. It’s nice to see someone who looks like he’s having fun on the show.

104. A tree-of-woe into a knee to the face off the top rope? Nice, inventive stuff from these two.

105. Punk signals for an early GTS, which should lead to an RKO. Sure enough, he tries for it but gets blocked with a kick for two. Nice way to turn an expected spot into a surprise.

106. Love how Punk has adopted Savage’s point-to-the sky move when on the top rope.

107. There is a Randy Orton Orange-O-Meter in the crowd, which may be sign of the year.

108. Orton takes about ten minutes to set Punk up for the superplex, but at least it looks impressive when he hits it.

109. Orton sold the turnbuckle figure four like grim death. Don’t remember ever seeing someone bite the ring post to stop from screaming.

110. Orton pulls out the Wrestlemania Vintage Scoop Slam, which, as always, prompts Matthews to start talking about him hearing voices.

111. Randy follows up with a Thez Press and an Angle Slam. Combine that with the Garvin Stomp and the Diamond Cutter and you’ve got someone who has stolen more from past wrestlers than a crooked promoter.

112. The Anaconda Vice at Wrestlemania. Fantastic.

113. Randy’s Second Rope DDT got a nice reaction, but nothing compared to him humping the mat. Lawler says he’s going to a place with no pain and no injuries, which is what you tell your kids when their dog is being put to sleep.

114. Orton abandons his RKO quest to deliver the TamPunt. Sadly, while running, his leg gives out. It’s like watching the Kentucky Derby, only I doubt Randy will be shot in the head.

115. Orton goes for the RKO out of nowhere but Punk blocked it by simply popping out of the move.

116. The top rope clothesline was turned into an RKO and Orton gets the pin. Well color me surprised. Looked impressive though.

117. The Rock is in the back with Mean Gene. Rock is worried about meeting Cena’s #1 Fan, who turns out to be Pee Wee Herman. The Rock says he sees potential in him. We then see Mean Gene dressed as John Cena, which prompts Herman to turn on Cena and join Team Bring It (with it, of course, meaning merchandise).

118. It’s Hall of Fame time as I hear Howard Finkel’s voice. Abdullah the Butcher looks about the same. Sunny didn’t look too bad. The Road Warriors are there, without Hawk or a mannequin. Drew Carey gets booed, fittingly. Bob Armstrong gets a decent pop. Jim Duggan erupts the place, complete with a 2×4 with a bowtie.

119. Shawn, deservedly so, gets his own entrance. He waves at the fans, who know full well that he could head down to the ring and probably still have the best match on the card.

120. Sadly there is no video package recapping Lawler/Cole.

121. The special announcer for this match is Jim Ro…Booker T. Oh wait, now here comes Jim Ross. This instantly became a better Wrestlemania.

122. Michael Cole interrupts the entrance and comes out dressed like Rick Steiner. Ye gads that man has some pale legs.

123. Cole says that Lawler has the biggest ego in the building, which is such a bold-faced lie that even as a heel that takes gumption to say.

124. Cole mocks Lawler and Ross for being fat and old, which subs for his entrance music.

125. There is no doubt in my mind that Cole is wearing orange and black as a rib on Tazz.

126. Cole calls himself the new Mr. Wrestlemania. Sure, why not.

127. Kurt SwAngle gets his own entrance, complete with a towel.

128. SwAngle gets his main event push-ups, but they are interrupted by Steve Austin on that stupid ATV. He almost kills SwAngle while racing down the ramp. Cole heads for the Cole Mine as he tells Austin that “he doesn’t need that.”

129. Steve runs the ropes in his camo shorts, making him look relevant and fashionable…assuming this is being broadcast from a Bass Pro Shop.

130. Lawler’s old music has been restored, thankfully. Well, here’s the moment he’s waited for for a long time. And he comes out in the old school Kaufman-feud-era costume. Fantastic.

131. The fact that Michael Cole has tattoos is incredible disturbing.

132. Steve Austin declares that they ring the fucking bell, so there’s your TV-PG for ya.

133. SwAngle gets dismissed in about twelve seconds by Lawler, looking like a complete fool.

134. Cole begs off in his box and reaches out for a handshake through a hole in the Cole Mine. Lawler grabs his hand and slams his head into the plexiglass.

135. Lawler climbs into the Cole Mine, which is proof that Michael should have paid for a roof. First rule of a lair: have a ceiling.

136. Lawler bounces Cole off of the GMail before flinging him into the ring, which of course allows SwAngle to jump Jerry from behind. Fine heel moment there.

137. Michael Cole hits a sliding dropkick and manages to not kill himself. Oh, and then SwAngle grabs an Angle-lock, making Austin look like a complete joke.

138. The fans chant “You can’t wrestle” at Michael Cole. Of course he can’t wrestle. If he could wrestle, imagine how effective he would have been as a play-by-play man.

139. Cole’s Vader Bomb attempt was highly entertaining.

140. Cole dragged Lawler into the middle of the ring and this is where the wheels are starting to fall off. He’s going so slow that he’s transcending being a cowardly heel and is now someone that the fans have realized they paid to watch.

141. A “boring” chant confirms that, which prompts Cole to drop a strap and lock in the AnCole Lock. Jerry thankfully is used to selling for lesser opponents.

142. SwAngle throws in the towel. Who does he think he is, a Hart?

143. Austin uses the towel to wipe himself down, and here comes the SwAngle Stunner spot. SwAngle argues about the towel and sure enough he earns his Mania payday by taking the Stunner.

144. Cole begs Austin before slapping him, allowing Lawler to clock him. Jerry then proves Newton wrong by hitting a dropkick.

145. Lawler lowers the strap and connects with the punch off the rope but pulls up the shoulder.

146. Jerry opts to lock in an ankle lock of his own and Cole does his Christian impersonation. Austin keeps asking if he gives up until finally ringing the bell.

147. So apparently Lawler was told he couldn’t use the piledriver, which probably has to do with the fact that Taker is going to use a Tombstone later.

148. SwAngle carries Cole to the back like An Officer and a Gentleman.

149. Austin and Lawler drink some beers. Booker comes into the ring as well and celebrates with them. He asks if we want to see a Spinarooni, and if it weren’t for Tough Enough, this would have been a great opportunity for him to turn heel and lay out Lawler.

150. Austin stuns Booker T while he drinks the beer. Well okay then.

151. The GMail goes off, and I paraphrase…the referee overstepped his authority, so Jerry Lawler has been disqualified and the winner is Michael Cole, who is sobbing at the top of the ramp.

152. The crowd chants bullshit as Matthews reads the results a few more times. Lawler tosses Matthews into the ring and he takes a Stunner. Will this pave the way for the glorious return of Kevin Kelly?

153. Don’t care how it happened, but the announce team is now Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross.

154. If I never see another Triple H/Undertaker video package, it’ll be too soon.

155. The lights go out and we hear bells, which are part of Triple H’s new music. Oh good, he finally got pyro. And, for some reason, his background looks like Middle Earth. A collection of shields block the entrance ramp and Triple H is back in his ridiculous costume phase as Metallica plays.

156. The lights go out again, the costume is off, and we’re back to Hunter’s old theme.

157. If we’re this far into the show, this must mean that the Bryan/Sheamus match got cut. Well that sucks.

158. The Undertaker gets his standard blackness and fireballs, which leads into Johnny Cash. Who knew a banjo could be so intimidating?

159. The match starts with the umpteenth staredown before they actually go at a fairly quick pace.

160. Undertaker threw Hunter towards the corner but wound up tossing him over the rope to the outside but they keep punching one another. Well I guess they figure if the two of them can’t really wrestle, they can still throw fists.

161. Taker dismembers the Spanish Announce Table, but Hunter rams Undertaker through the Cole Mine (and upon rereading that I can see how there could be a double-entendre there).

162. Undertaker’s Old School being blocked is starting to become as common as him actually hitting it.

163. Hunter dismembers the regular announce table, ensuring equality in the WWE. He tries for the Pedigree spot that took out a lot of the lower card but Undertaker reverses it with a backdrop that looked insane.

164. I guess their goal here is that if they can’t wrestle, they’re just going to kill each other. In other words, what a lot of indie promotions do.

165. Undertaker’s top rope suicide dive connects, giving them both another few minutes to nap.

166. Taker tries for a Tombstone on the steel steps, but Hunter catches a charging Undertaker off the steel steps through the Spanish Announce Table with a Spinebuster.

167. Undertaker Chokeslam marks Finishing Move #1 for the match.

168. Undertaker’s Last Ride attempt is blocked and Triple H goes for the Pedigree but he gets reversed into Snake Eyes but that gets reversed into a Spinebuster for two.

169. Hunter grabs a chair but he gets booted in the face. Undertaker grabs it and bends it across Triple H’s back, despite the fact that he looks like he’d rather just use it to sit down and take a rest.

170. Hunter comes out of nowhere and hits the Pedigree, which marks Finishing Move #2 for the match.

171. Undertaker hits the Last Ride, which makes Finishing Move #3 for the match.

172. Taker slashes his throat and goes for the Tombstone, which is Finishing Move #4 for the match.

173. Undertaker goes for a Tombstone on the chair but it’s reversed into a DDT onto the chair.

174. Hunter hits another Pedigree, which is Finishing Move #5 for the match.

175. Hunter goes for ANOTHER Pedigree, making it Finishing Move #6 for the match.

176. Hunter wallops him with a chair over and over, which means we’re getting the Wrestlemania X-7 finish homage.

177. Hunter does the slash as he goes for the Tombstone and he actually hits it, making it Finishing Move #7.

178. Hunter crawling away from Undertaker like he’s supernatural was borderline comical.

179. Hunter finally grabs the Sledgehammer of Inevitability but Undertaker locks in the Hell’s Gate for Finishing Move #8.

180. Hunter finally grabs the Sledgehammer after about 40 seconds in the hold but he drops it, seemingly choked out until he finally taps.

181. So in the end they killed each other for the first half and spent the second half just doing every finishing move over and over until the point of pure comedy.

182. Taker is tended to by medical professionals as Hunter walks away, which is an odd sight to see. He is carted away, which allows Triple H to say he got his “win” even though he didn’t end the streak.

183. Wrestlemania next year will be in Miami, and you better believe I’ll be there.

184. Vickie Guerrero in leather comes out to introduce her team.

185. I’m shocked that Snooki didn’t blow up just heading down to the ring.

186. Trish in her ring gear looks insanely hot. She is proof that some women get better with age.

187. Trish reversing the Styles Clash into a facebuster was impressive.

188. Trish tries for the corner hurricarana but it gets blocked they fall off the top rope to the outside.

189. Morrison and Ziggler get a few seconds to shine as Slo-Mo-Rrison hits Starship Pain on the outside.

190. Snooki gets booed as she gets tagged in and does a handspring ass smash to McCool and splashes her for the pin.

191. The Miz/Cena video package is AWESOME, complete with “Hate Me Now”. This thing made him seem more legitimate than months and months of booking.

192. Awesome, The Miz has a giant inflatable “AWESOME” to bust through. Oh, and kudos to whoever upgraded The Mizfit’s ring attire.

193. John Cena gets a full gospel choir to sing him out. He gets a full Jesus prayer as a video package highlights Cena’s career. Are the people in the choir aware that Vince once wrestled a match AGAINST a deity? Or that he has declared himself the higher power? Eh, as long as the check clears.

194. The fans BOO the choir. Wow.

195. Cena is out in Red, White and Blue and he makes it down that ramp in record time.

196. Cena’s jumbotron logo looks like the Stars N’ Bars, which goes well with the all black choir standing up there. How did someone not notice that during rehearsals?

197. Just hearing Jim Ross hype these two when the bell rings is proof that he should be back on the microphone for the rest of his time on this planet.

198. The one benefit to so many fans hating John Cena is that, like in the Punk/Orton match, it isn’t going to be silent.

199. Cena’s top rope leg drop looks impressive, but it’s hard for anyone who takes that move to not look stupid standing there for so long.

200. The fact that Miz was allowed to get so much offense so fast in the match and have extended opportunities to dominate Cena were effectively designed to make him look like a credible heel (which is something that probably shouldn’t be needed but is, sadly, necessary).

201. Cena’s Five Moves of Mediocrity make a Wrestlemania appearance, but it rightfully gets booed out of the building.

202. The Miz’s seated DDT is very impressive.

203. Removing a turnbuckle should be harder than it is.

204. The STFU just didn’t feel remotely threatening when he locked it in.

205. Mizfit ramming Cena into the turnbuckle leading to the SCF not being the finish would have been the finish if not for the fact that we know that The Rock hasn’t been out yet.

206. A main event ref bump got deservedly booed. Cena FUing Miz and having the pin isn’t going to help matters either.

207. Mizfit using the briefcase and THAT not being the finish is making The Miz an even bigger joke.

208. Miz kicking out of the FU, on the other hand, may in fact make The Miz look more legitimate than even the video package.

209. What good is it for Cena to clothesline Miz to the outside and then take him out? A count-out doesn’t win the title and Cena knows that.

210. A count-out finish for the main event of Wrestlemania. If this isn’t a Dusty Finish, I’ll be shocked.

211. Sure enough, here comes Coach Rock. We all knew this was the true main event anyway.

212. The GMail goes off but The Rock decides to go read it. He says it doesn’t matter what the laptop thinks and he knocks it off of the pedestal. He restarts the match, which gives the loser recourse because The Rock probably doesn’t have the “authority”…though I don’t wanna get into TNA territory.

213. Cena gets Rock Bottomed as soon as he goes into the ring, and The Miz gets the pin to retain the title.

214. The Rock lays waste to The Miz, running through another Greatest Hits collection.

215. So in the end John Cena loses, The Miz looks like a complete joke and the strongest babyface in the WWE is…The Rock.

In the end Wrestlemania had a lot of questionable booking decisions, some passable yet forgettable matches and ultimately left the audience feeling like something major was lacking. History may be kind to this show, but for now I just fail to see the logic in almost everything they did. Hopefully they figured out a way to get Cena/Rock booked, because if not, this was a big gamble for absolutely nothing.

This has been for your consideration.