Kue’s Korner: The WWE Laundry List (What Changes and What Stays the Same)

Why, hello there, friends and fans. Please wipe your feet off before stepping into this humble abode entitled “Kue’s Korner”, now coming to you on Tuesdays. I’m your undeniably charming host, Jonah Kue, and the day of the week ain’t the only thing changing about the Korner, ladies and gents. We’re changing up the format and making things a little more organized through the act of sectioning. Let’s take a brisk walk through this little Korner of mine, shall we?

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Jonah’s Jumpstart

Ah, fresh starts are so….refreshing. And with ‘Mania behind us, maybe ‘E can focus less on promoting celebs and more time building the future. So, your friendly neighborhood Brooklynite-turned-DC’er has done the courtesy of making Vince and co. a to-do list. Let’s start.

1. Gradually build Cena into a heel. It makes no sense to book the Rock/Cena match a year in advance if they weren’t planning a development of rather huge proportions to help promote this feud. Obviously, turning the top boy scout in the company isn’t cake, so the year is proper time enough to have him reach the breaking point, whether it be due to fan reaction or the age old “losses start piling up” method. And to think of what a feud with a heel Cena could do to push mid card face talent (as long as the dreaded squash doesn’t come into fruition).

2. Keep Miz champ until Summerslam. Let’s face it, the booking of the Miz as champ, though adequate, could have been better in terms of building credibility. So, in order to fix what’s lacking, why not build credibility with longevity? It worked for JBL, and Miz is three times the worker JBL was. Plus, this will give a huge push and pop to whoever does finally dethrone the Awesome one. Which brings me to the next point.

3. Morrison should be the next champ. Period. Argue with me. I know a good lot of you will. Start-stop pushes aside, no one has shown more promise as an up-and-coming face than Johnny M. And who better to take the gold off of the long-reigning champ, the Miz, than his former tag partner and best friend? Age-old story? Of course. Will it work? You’d better believe it.

4. Christian should get the Heavyweight belt next, then lose it to Del Rio. How in the world can this opportunity be passed up? Do the Peep Leader the honor that he deserves and give him a run with the belt. Del Rio is the future of Smackdown, no doubt, and he should be the one to take Capt. Charisma down, but nothing would make the fans feel satisfied like the belt on long-time favorite of many, Christian.

5. Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan at some point. ‘Nuff said.

And that should do it for the next few months. You’re welcome, ‘E.

Blue Streak

This little portion of the Korner will highlight Smackdown.

The true testament of a main event talent lies in the amount of heat they can keep after a high profile loss. My dear friends, I must say that Alberto del Rio has passed this test with flying colors. This bonafide superstar is truly one of a kind. I could praise this guy’s talent all day, but what I find even more incredible is how he’s being booked. He cut an incredible promo about “destiny being delayed”, therefore, rationalizing his keeping the motto, and justified the need for a rematch. The match between himself and Capt. Charisma was also the perfect way to push the Destined One without de-pushing Christian. Brodus Clay being used as merely a distraction for Del Rio’s win gives the number one contender legitimacy, since no one physically interfered in the match, and also gives Christian an excuse as to why he lost, without being seen as the lesser man. This is how you push a main event heel, folks. I implore Creative to use this technique on the Awesome One.

It’s funny how one dwindles in mid-card obscurity for what seems like an eternity, going through several character changes and storylines before finding the perfect gimmick that just clicks on all levels. To speak metaphorically, Cody Rhodes has dated up.

Trying to get Hardcore Holly’s respect and eventually teaming with him:
The first girlfriend that gets your hand held

Heel turn with Ted DiBiase to form Priceless:
Dating a chick because she has a hot mom

Formation of Legacy:
Dating the rich girl

Feud with DX:
Dating someone who dumps you for a douche

Feud with Orton:
Dating someone who dumps you for a friend

“Dashing” persona:
Finally, the virginity is lost

Feud with Mysterio that adds ridiculous depth to the character:
Menage Trois

But the match with Trent Baretta, the squash of a match it was, did exactly what it needed to in establishing, not only Cody’s in-ring dominance, but the aggression of his character transition. To tell a story in the ring is exactly what this kid needs, and is doing so perfectly. Not sure if I agree to extending the Mysterio feud, though. But if it gets Rhodes over even more so, I’m willing to see it through.

Creative, may I have your ear for a request? No more 8-man matches involving the Corre. Stop it. Just stop. The waste of time it had on ‘Mania was enough of a middle finger. The two-out-of-three falls match was a colonoscopy. It’s a lovely idea to have Kingston and Barrett feud, as both have the ring capabilities as well as can cut decent promos, but to consistently have it shoved down our throats that the Corre is a powerful unit has little effect if they’re jobbed frequently. Have Barrett run the IC title picture, have Slater and Gabriel attempt to reignite the tag division (is this a lost cause yet?), and have Zeke as an enforcer similar, but more effective, than the ultimate pear look-a-like, Brodus Clay has while being paired with Alberto.

All in all, my fellow viewers, I would say Smackdown is doing rather well post-‘Mania. I’m curious to see if they cut down recap time and actually add more screen time for the blue roster itself. I believe I speak for all of us when I say that one “Raw Rebound” is more than enough for Smackdown.

Seeing Red

And this little diddy (not Puff) will focus on the past night’s Raw.

The crowd reaction said it all, folks. Despite a very visible botch and being in the ring with Primo, Sin Cara has established himself as the next motherfucker one must keep their eye on. Anyone who’s followed Mistico has already known this, but the way they’re pushing him in WWE is rather unconventional. For a company that’s very prone to having, as so many say, “boners for the big guys”, one would think Sin Cara besting both Sheamus and Swagger. Not only does this give this handsome brownie hope for the blue-and-gold masked one, it also gives me hope that Trips will be better with the booking end of things than most would give him credit for.

You know how a house guest is a riot and incredible company for the first few hours, but by hour six, he’s wearing out his welcome in the worst way? That guy’s name is “Lawler vs. Cole”. Only this time, he’s changed his name to something a bit more obnoxious: “Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Cole/Swagger”. The only comfort I can find in this gelatin of a storyline stretched so thin is perhaps, with the exchange between Swagger and Cole on Raw, the former will finally gain some momentum as a face.

And one more leaves us. Our Rated R Superstar has come to call it quits and leaves as the World Heavyweight Championship. Say what you will about his personal history, but his accomplishments can’t be denied. You’ll be missed, Edge. On the same lines, this is really coming close to putting a cap on the previous era of the WWE. With HBK gone, Trips basically out of the picture, and Edge now retiring, it seems that the kids that have been itching for their time in the sun will now have their chance. Cena and Orton have a hell of a burden to pick up the slack as locker room leaders. Hopefully, they’ll keep their egos in check and help build rather than perch their own asses atop that mountain. The only thing left to complete the passing of this previous era of WWE is 20-0. And what a fitting end it will be.

Speaking of the new era coming to light, how symbolic was the opening promo? Cena and Orton, the top established faces of the company, do the routine they’ve been doing for years as title contenders, only to be interrupted by three….well, two potential main eventers with eyes on the prize and sentiments echoing that of Cena’s theme: My Time is Now. The results of the night is….questionable, to say the least. I’ll let it play out. Truth is no main event talent by any means. But this feud may be all that’s necessary to really move his character in a more established direction. Here’s to hoping against hope, folks.

‘Round the Bend

I was rather taken back by this little number by Penny Sautreau-Fife. Her concern for ‘Taker’s well-being seemed refreshing, especially in the lot of jaded IWC fans that make up so much of the fanbase.

To be honest, Mike Gojira impressed the hell out of me by, not only taking up the broad topic of the IWC, but does a bang-up job at it. Check “The Stomping Ground” here. (By the way, we’re still feuding, Gojira. And I’m definitely the smarmy heel in all of this).

A fantasy booking for ‘Mania 27 that might have actually worked? Rhett Davis takes a stab at it on his “O’Really Report”.

Kue’s Klosing

I’m a bit intrigued about the future of both Smackdown and Raw now. It’s hard to predict anything, at this point, but hopefully, with Trips behind the scenes, we’ll have some pleasant changes going around. Here’s to bringing in the future, Dolorean style.

Adieu

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