That Being Said: TNA LockDown 2011 Report – Hogan, Flair, Sting, Angle, Jarrett

Welcome to “That Being Said”, PPV edition! I have decided against doing long intros for the PPV recaps, just because it’s a 3 hour show as it is. I do want to mention a couple things before we start.

A lot of people rip on LockDown because it’s ALL steel-cage matches, and that, plain and simple, is overkill. No one is disputing that fact. But, what TNA has always done with LockDown that I liked was to put a couple different variations of the cage match into the PPV, like the Lethal LockDown and the Escape (X-Scape, whatever hackneyd quote TNA is using for that now) match. No, it’s still not enough variety, but it does help. What they need is more variations of cage matches to do, but at least there are a couple different types of matches to break up the monotony. Ugh, I just defended TNA.

Second – thank you VERY much for the traffic, feedback, and the comments on last week’s article regarding my Dad. Very, very much appreciated. I will respond to comments on the Impact edition next week.

All right, let’s do this.

TNA LockDown 2011

Huh, they’re in a real arena and everything. I fucking HATE the Impact Zone.

X-Division X-Scape Match
Robbie E .vs. Brian Kendrick .vs. Chris Sabin .vs. Amazing Red .vs. Jay Lethal .vs. Jeremy Buck .vs. Max Buck .vs. Suicide

Nice that they remembered they had Jay Lethal on the payroll. Okay, so this is a huge clusterfuck. Not a bad clusterfuck. But a lot of really crazy shit happens – there’s 8 guys, and they’re all in a cage. Looks like this operates off tags, which I don’t really get. Suicide starts wrecking Robbie. Then Max buck starts wrecking Suicide. Then the Hardy boys almost start fighting. I don’t even know how you’re supposed to win this match, but dudes are trying pins – Robbie E pins Suicide out of nowhere, and the match keeps going – so it’s elimination. Robbie E’s hair is crazy. Red pins Lethal – yeah, this sucks. Red does some crazy Spiderman shit but Sabin just destroys him with a clothesline and pins him. Then my power went out, and I came back and Sabin was gone, I don’t know what happened but I think we can all agree that whatever it was is bullshit. Now we have Kendrick, GEN ME and Robbie E – the worst guys in the match. Awesome. At least that means I can stop trying to hard.

Max buck beats Jeremy with a rollup. Kendrick pins Robbie. Now Tenay is saying that whoever escapes the match now wins. The final two in this match are Max Buck and Kendrick. Max Buck wins, and the announcers talk about how he is conniving – because he won a match. TNA fucking sucks.

Winner And New #1 Contender (for X-Division Championship): Max Buck

Tenay and Taz tell us that cages are dangerous.

Eric Bischoff comes out. He does his tired old heel schtick. He talks for a few minutes. All that he’s really saying is something about someone getting back the TNA World Heavyweight Title. He doesn’t say who – I’m guessing that’s a teaser for later.

Christy Hemme is with Crimson and Scott Steiner. Crimson loves being teamed with Scott Steiner. Scott Steiner says he is going to go Kobe Bryant on fools, but he doesn’t want people to think he’s insensetive.

8-Man Tag-Team Elimination Steel Cage Match
Ink Inc. .vs. Scott Stiener & Crimson .vs. The British Invasion .vs. Orlando Jordan & Eric Young

Scott Steiner gets a huge reaction. He is like a TNA MVP right now. He’s one of the only people that the crowd really cares about. Which is hilarious, because right now they’ve got him doing this match, which is a fancy way of saying that right now he’s doing basically nothing. Again, I have no idea how this works. Is it elimination? Do they even know? Eric Young is wasting airtime trying to be funny, but everything with Eric Young is basically a waste of time so… yeah.

Jesse and EY start off, and do an exchange. Shannon Moore tags in and is a jerk with armlocks and elbow strikes. Doug Williams tags in on Shannon, and EY tags Orlando. Orlando wrecks both guys in British Invasion. Ha, that’s funny. This is hard to follow. Sorry that my recaps of this stuff kinda sucks, but I refuse to rewind and spend more time recapping it than they probably spent putting this match together. Brits start wrecking Jesse.

People are chanting for Steiner. Everyone else in this match, no one cares about. Which is too bad because Doug Williams is pretty awesome. But TNA forgot that he was doing well. Now Brutus is beating on Crimson. People don’t want Crimson. People want Steiner. My recap of this match should just basically consist of why it would have been better to just let Steiner cut a 20 minute shoot promo.

Crimson tags Steiner and the people go APE SHIT. I’m not kidding. People love this dude. He’s basically crippled too. Steiner wrecks the Invasion, does the flexing elbow and some push-ups, hits some suplexes, and yells at the crowd. Then he punches Shannon Moore for fun. Then he takes out Eric Young. Steiner is awesome. Steiner takes the Invasion guys up for a superplex. Shannon tags him and Steiner just stares at him like “what the fuck was that bullshit supposed to be?” and hits the superplex anyway.

Eventually Steiner realizes that he was tagged out. He’s not happy. Then Eric Young takes off his pants. Other guys don’t like this. Orlando Jordan stops a pin for no reason and hits the GENDER BENDER. Crimson hits the Diamond Cutter. Steiner comes in and destroys Magnus. Eric Young hits a flying dropkick on Steiner. They have given up on tagging.

Eric Young is trying to escape the cage. He does. Eric Young has never been funny. Shannon Moore hits what Mike Tenay calls a “Moore-gasm” out of nowhere, which admittedly looked pretty cool for a guy with a pineapple to on his head, and got the pin. Eric Young is confused because he escaped the cage. This isn’t funny.

Winners: Ink Inc

Christy Hemme talks about how she is rooting for Mickie James to beat Madison Rayne. Madison takes issue with this. Madison has started calling Tara “attitude”. She doesn’t trust Tara anymore. Tara just helped her try to kill someone, so I don’t know what that’s about. She tells Tara to stay in the back. Tara doesn’t care.

Steel Cage Match For The TNA Knockouts Championship
Mickie James .vs. Madison Rayne (w/ Tara)

Have you ever noticed how the whole “Tale Of The Tape” shit is complete bullshit? It tells you nothing. It doesn’t even make sense. One of the “tales” is “Queen Demands Competition” and another one of them is “Hardcore Country Haircut Or Dream Fulfilled”? Like why would they even waste time on such obvious bullshit? I don’t know what the deal with Madison Rayne’s song is, but it makes me want to go to the Common Room and talk about Apartheid. Her entrance alone is longer than it took to eliminate Suicide.

So Mickie starts throwing Madison into the steel. Mickie’s shoulder is still taped up. She hits a swinging DDT. Pin. Jeff Hardy loses.

Winner And New TNA Knockouts Champion: HARDCORE COUNTRY

Holy shit. Are they serious? ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS. How long have they been building this fucking… she fucking ran her over with a… holy shit. They didn’t learn anything from… holy SHIT.

Sixty-seven stars.

Christy Hemme is talking to Matt Morgan. He explains the storyline that he is involved in, and calls Hernandez “Shawn”. He then explains that The United States is not Mexico.

Negative ninety-two star clusters.

Wow, they gave Samoa Joe and The Pope a video package? They shouldn’t have done that, it makes even less sense when they put the whole thing together.

Steel Cage Match
The Pope .vs. Samoa Joe

Wow, so they’re actually gonna do this match. I guess it was harder to tell them “what match?” when they both got new ring gear. Crowd is chanting the “gonna kill you” chant. People love Joe. It’s amazing they have no idea what to do with him. He should be with Fortune, or something along those lines. Pope tries to get out right away, Joe stops him but Pope gets off a cheap shot, but Joe just wrecks him with punches until Pope reverses a whip and body slams him. Joe is up right away, and takes Pope’s head off.

Joe with strikes in the corner. Running shoulder, followed by a spin-kick. Joe just dominating Pope. Joe is just destroying Pope, but Pope still manages to climb the cage, so Joe can slam him into it and crotch him on the rope. Joe hits that giant mule kick while Pope is perched up there. TNA chants. Joe tries to facewash, but Pope gets the ref in the way and tosses Joe into the cage. Pope with some strikes while Joe is down. It doesn’t last long, as Joe starts hitting back with kicks. Pope cuts him off with an uppercut.

Pope locks on a sleeper. Joe and Pope exchange tired chops and slaps, but they look way more tired than they should be. It is a very cool exchange though, and Joe hits an atomic drop and a big boot, followed by that awesome senton backsplash. Crowd is pretty into this match, but it’s a decent match. Joe hits a muscle buster and pins, but Pope gets his foot on the rope.

Pope tries to get out of the cage, so Joe pulls his pants down and Pope kicks him off the buckle. Pope hits a nice elbow from the top, but Joe kicks out at 1 and HULKS UP… until Pope hits a facebuster for a 2-count. Pope goes for the Elijah Express, but Joe catches him and RAMS the back of his head into the cage. OUCH. Joe hits a Muscle Buster, and locks on the choke. Crowd loves it. Pope taps. Cool – Joe needed that. Please end this feud… immediately.

Winner: Samoa Joe

Backstage, LAX are talking Spanish to each other. Christy Hemme wants to talk to Hernandez. Hernandez explains the concept of Mexican America. The idea is that it’s a generic foreign heel stable, so try to keep up with this revolutionary conce[t. Hernandez wants to be T-Bag from Prison Break.

Steel Cage Match
Hernandez (w/ Mexican America) .vs. Matt Morgan

So last year when they did this match, the BotchaMania guy had content to work with for weeks. It was literally one of the worst matches ever done. I wonder how many times they can remix that old LAX song that Konnan did. LAX used like 3 different versions of it. Homicide used another version after that. Now Hernandez is using another version of it.

So they start punching each other. Morgan with stomps and those really retarded standing elbows in the corner. He then runs into Hernandez. Sidewalk slam. He’s exhausted all but one move in his moveset about 20 seconds in. Crowd is completely dead. Anarchia grabs Morgan’s leg through one of the holes in the cage that the camera is supposed to get to. Hernandez with some strikes with Morgan on the apron, before raking his face into the cage.

Hernandez with the “nerve hold”. Hah. Matt Morgan may not know a lot, but he knows that move is BS so he tries a wrestling move but remembers that he doesn’t know a lot of wrestling moves, so it doesn’t work. Hernandez still in control, and he tosses Morgan into the cage. A very weak Morgan chant breaks out.

Hernandez with chokes and sleepers. He’s trying not to make Morgan feel bad about not knowing any moves. Hernandez with a running charge, and tries to get some heel heat. Morgan is down. Morgan would like to get in offense, but again, he’s run out of moves. Match… moving… so… slow… Morgan then dishes out punches and clothesline. Like 5 of them. Man, Matt Morgan is a TERRIBLE wrestler. He has nothing. Literally nothing. He can’t talk and he can’t wrestle. So he continues not wrestling Hernandez, but Hernandez is a good sport about it.

Hernandez hits a spear. Matt Morgan hits his giant boot and pins. Fuck that. I don’t buy that Hernandez couldn’t kick out of that stupid shit.

Winner: Matt Morgan

Way to make a new heel stable and them job them out to the likes of this fucking clown. Mike Tenay says that Morgan is ready to get back in the World Title hunt. Oh for the love of…

Even better, now the Mexican America girls are in the ring talking about how TNA can’t keep Mexican America down just by screwing them over. I’m guessing she means pretending that Matt Morgan doesn’t suck. One of them wants to be the TNA Knockouts Champion. The other one wants to speak Spanish. Joseph is a happy man right now.

Velvet Sky’s music htis, and she comes out. She hits the cage against both Mexican America’s girls, and tosses Sarita around quite a bit. One of the LAX girls took their boot off for some reason. People cheer. You gotta like Velvet. She tries.

Backstage, Christy Hemme is talking to Karen Angle. She likes having sex with Jeff Jarrett and knows he is going to win.

They recap the entireity of this Angle / Jarrett feud. But it doesn’t really present Jarrett as a huge heel, and even makes Angle sound like an asshole for a bit. Like they make it seem like a mis-understanding. What BS. Angle HAS to win, right? Right?

2-Out-Of-3-Falls Steel Cage Match
Kurt Angle .vs. Jeff Jarrett

The referee kicks Karen out of the match. Tenay says that the first fall is decided by submission, the second by pinfall, and the third by leaving the cage. I really hope it doesn’t go to a third fall – that’s a crappy way to end a feud with this kind of build, whether you like the build or not.

Crowd is really into Angle, who dominates the first few minutes of the match with punches and suplexes. Jarrett locks in figure-four, and Kurt suffers a couple two-counts, even though the only way to win the first fall is by submission. Really? Angle reverses the move, but Jarrett grabs the bottom rope. Angle hits an Ankle Lock. Angle with an elbow, and Jarrett reverses a charge into a sleeper.

They volley for control of the Ankle Lock though, and Angle runs into the post. Jarrett hits an enziguri. Jarrett hits his MMA submission. Kurt reverses into an Ankle Lock. Jarrett taps. First fall to Angle.

The crowd is pretty dead, all things considered. Jarrett takes control in the second fall. This match doesn’t seem to be going over all that well. I’m not totally sure why. I mean partially why is that no one cares about Jeff Jarrett. But part of it is that the mat is not making as much noise when dudes hit it, some of the time. Not sure if something’s wrong there. Eventually, Angle hits the triple-German suplex until Jarrett kicks him in the nuts.

Jarrett kicks out of an Angle Slam. Angle messes up a dive to the top rope, but still climbs up and hits a belly-to-belly superplex off the second rope. Two count. Angle with a hard clothesline. Angle then hits an RKO, and makes a big show of it. That’s fucking hilarious.

Jarrett hooks the trunks off an Angle Slam, and gets 3. Second fall to Jarrett. The crowd is just flat for this.

Jarrett tries to get out the cage door, even though there’s a lock on it. Taz explains that there is a key IN the lock. THEN WHY… fuck.

Kurt tries to stop him. Jarrett kicks his ass. Jarrett unlocks the cage. MAN, what bullshit. WHY THE FUCK BOTHER LOCKING IT THEN??? TNA fucking sucks. Fuck this.

Angle hits five German suplexes in a row. Crowd comes alive a little bit. Angle goes for the door, and almost leaves, but he second guesses it and goes back in. Kurt then takes the key and puts it inside his trunks. He should really just toss it back out of the cage. He doesn’t care, he goes and tosses Jarrett into the cage a few times. Jarrett is busted open. Angle rakes his face into the cage.

Jarrett is then up like nothing has happened, and trying to climb the cage. Kurt stops him, and just beats the shit out of him perched on the turnbuckle.

Then bad shit happens. It LOOKS like (and I say looks like because I don’t know for sure) someone botched what was supposed to be a powerbomb off the top rope by Jarrett. Someone messed up though, because Angle landed RIGHT bad on his neck. Please tell me Jarrett didn’t cripple Angle on top of everything.

Jarrett trying to escape the cage. I guess Angle is okay (whew) because he Angle Slams Jarrett off the turnbuckle. Brooke Hogan really likes this. Or it’s the Brooke Hogan that Hulk Hogan fucks. Can’t tell. He goes for the cage door, remembers that he locked it, forgets that he HAS THE DAMN KEY, and tries to sclae out of the cage. Gunner runs down and tries to stop Angle from climbing out.

Which he does, but instead Angle hits a GIANT MOONSAULT from the TOP OF THE CAGE. They showed Brooke Hogan in total disbelief. I’m not sure why they keep showing her. Is that who Angle is dating now? Because that would be amazing.

So now Scott Steiner is here. He runs off Gunner. Nice that they acnowledged that Angle brought Steiner back to TNA. Odd bit of continuity.

SO now Angle is trying to get out of the cage. Karen runs down and sprays something into Kurt. A blinded Angle clotheslines the ref. Karen has the door open, Jarrett is almost out. Things are out of control in this match. Jarrett is almost out, but Angle hits an Ankle Lock and drags him back into the cage. Karen goes under the ring and slides a guitar into the ring, and Jarrett hits Angle with it. Holy shit.

Nice finishing sequences to this match, a lot of suspense. They didn’t need those first two falls at all. Jarrett is about to escape out the door, but Angle grabs him in an Ankle Lock again. Karen is trying to pull him out of the cage, but Kurt is trying to pull him back in. Karen slams the door on Kurt. Jarrett gets out.

The referee kicks Karen out of the match. Tenay says that the first fall is decided by submission, the second by pinfall, and the third by leaving the cage. I really hope it doesn’t go to a third fall – that’s a crappy way to end a feud with this kind of build, whether you like the build or not.

Crowd is really into Angle, who dominates the first few minutes of the match with punches and suplexes. Jarrett locks in figure-four, and Kurt suffers a couple two-counts, even though the only way to win the first fall is by submission. Really? Angle reverses the move, but Jarrett grabs the bottom rope. Angle hits an Ankle Lock. Angle with an elbow, and Jarrett reverses a charge into a sleeper.

They volley for control of the Ankle Lock though, and Angle runs into the post. Jarrett hits an enziguri. Jarrett hits his MMA submission. Kurt reverses into an Ankle Lock. Jarrett taps. First fall to Angle.

The crowd is pretty dead, all things considered. Jarrett takes control in the second fall. This match doesn’t seem to be going over all that well. I’m not totally sure why. I mean partially why is that no one cares about Jeff Jarrett. But part of it is that the mat is not making as much noise when dudes hit it, some of the time. Not sure if something’s wrong there. Eventually, Angle hits the triple-German suplex until Jarrett kicks him in the nuts.

Jarrett kicks out of an Angle Slam. Angle messes up a dive to the top rope, but still climbs up and hits a belly-to-belly superplex off the second rope. Two count. Angle with a hard clothesline. Angle then hits an RKO, and makes a big show of it. That’s fucking hilarious.

Jarrett hooks the trunks off an Angle Slam, and gets 3. Second fall to Jarrett. The crowd is just flat for this.

Jarrett tries to get out the cage door, even though there’s a lock on it. Taz explains that there is a key IN the lock. THEN WHY… fuck.

Kurt tries to stop him. Jarrett kicks his ass. Jarrett unlocks the cage. MAN, what bullshit. WHY THE FUCK BOTHER LOCKING IT THEN??? TNA fucking sucks. Fuck this.

Angle hits five German suplexes in a row. Crowd comes alive a little bit. Angle goes for the door, and almost leaves, but he second guesses it and goes back in. Kurt then takes the key and puts it inside his trunks. He should really just toss it back out of the cage. He doesn’t care, he goes and tosses Jarrett into the cage a few times. Jarrett is busted open. Angle rakes his face into the cage.

Jarrett is then up like nothing has happened, and trying to climb the cage. Kurt stops him, and just beats the shit out of him perched on the turnbuckle.

Then bad shit happens. It LOOKS like (and I say looks like because I don’t know for sure) someone botched what was supposed to be a powerbomb off the top rope by Jarrett. Someone messed up though, because Angle landed RIGHT bad on his neck. Please tell me Jarrett didn’t cripple Angle on top of everything.

Jarrett trying to escape the cage. I guess Angle is okay (whew) because he Angle Slams Jarrett off the turnbuckle. Brooke Hogan really likes this. Or it’s the Brooke Hogan that Hulk Hogan fucks. Can’t tell. He goes for the cage door, remembers that he locked it, forgets that he HAS THE DAMN KEY, and tries to sclae out of the cage. Gunner runs down and tries to stop Angle from climbing out.

Which he does, but instead Angle hits a GIANT MOONSAULT from the TOP OF THE CAGE. They showed Brooke Hogan in total disbelief. I’m not sure why they keep showing her. Is that who Angle is dating now? Because that would be amazing.

So now Scott Steiner is here. He runs off Gunner. Nice that they acnowledged that Angle brought Steiner back to TNA. Odd bit of continuity.

SO now Angle is trying to get out of the cage. Karen runs down and sprays something into Kurt. A blinded Angle clotheslines the ref. Karen has the door open, Jarrett is almost out. Things are out of control in this match. Jarrett is almost out, but Angle hits an Ankle Lock and drags him back into the cage. Karen goes under the ring and slides a guitar into the ring, and Jarrett hits Angle with it. Holy shit.

Nice finishing sequences to this match, a lot of suspense. They didn’t need those first two falls at all. Jarrett is about to escape out the door, but Angle grabs him in an Ankle Lock again. Karen is trying to pull him out of the cage, but Kurt is trying to pull him back in. Karen slams the door on Kurt. Jarrett gets out.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett

The ending sequences in the match were great. The ending though… I don’t even know what to say about that. Like… I don’t get it. At all. I’m not a mark or anything. I’m really not. I know it’s fake. I’m not a guy who complains about who wins and loses or whatever. Angle did look great in the entire match. That’s great. But if this was the last match for these two… I really don’t get it. Few people have ever needed a win more than Angle did.

We get a video package for the World Title Match. It goes back over a year – another odd bit of continuity.

Triple Threat Cage Match For The TNA World Heavyweight Championship
Sting .vs. Rob Van Dam .vs. Ken Anderson

TNA has gotta start spell-checking their graphics. McMahon would fire a dude and make sure his family never worked in wrestling again if that happened on his show. Anderson tries to get the crowd behind him. It doesn’t work. People are getting sick of him. Sorry, it’s true.

Anderson is trying to be an edgy tweener. So Van Dam and Sting kick his ass. Sting tries a submission, Van Dam breaks it up and starts working on him with some shoulderblocks. Standing moonsault on Sting. Vam Dam eats cage when Anderson pulls a rope down. Sting somehow mananges a double-scoprion lock somehow. Van Dam is on top of Anderson, so Vam Dam just starts punching Anderson. This is… confusing. Different though.

Sting tosses Van Dam in the corner, but they crash into each other. All 3 guys are down. Anderson is cool with this because he doesn’t have to pretend to wrestle. He does get off a couple clotheslines, because he’s so awesome like Stone Cold. I kind of zoned out during this part.

When I came back, Hogan was at ringside trying to hand a pipe to Van Dam. Van Dam takes the pipe. He hits the cage with it, and tosses it to the side. Anderson grabs the pipe and hits Van Dam with it, and yells at Hogan that it was for him, not Hogan. Sting gets him from behind with a Death Drop, and pins. Major letdown. And I wasn’t expecting anything.

Winner And Still TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Sting

Why the fuck are they showing Brooke Hogan over and over again? And why are they doing replays on entrances? Sting is pointing at Hogan. Hogan tells Sting that he and Sting are going to do it on his time. Oh wow, he’s really not going to wrestle, is he?

Lethal LockDown Match
Immortal (Matt Hardy, Bully Ray, Abyss & Ric Flair) .vs. Fortune (Kaz & Beer Money) & Christopher Daniels

Wow. I forgot that Flair would actually be wrestling in this match. I sure hope that Daniels doesn’t turn on Fortune here.

This should be pretty out of control. Kaz is going in first for Fortune. Abyss is going in frist for Immortal. Kaz takes down Abyss, and starts dishing out shots. Abyss does eventually catch him for a chokeslam, and hits a big boot when Kaz reverses it. Abyss is stomping on Kaz’s face – Bully Ray is yelling at him. Kaz starts to fight back, dodges a charge, and hits a hurricanrana on Abyss which he sells well. Kaz slams Abyss into the cage with a nice dropkick. Then hits a sliding dropkick with Abyss on the apron.

Immortal sends in Cold Blood. Kaz takes him down with kicks, shoulderblocks, and clotheslines. Abyss is down. Springboard legdrop from Kaz. Kaz is awesome. Kaz almost hits his finish, but Hardy kicks out of it. Abyss hits a big right hand, and Hardy hits the ICE PICK!!! Hardy hits a Side Effect.

Fortune sends in Daniels, who clears the ring of Hardy and Abyss. He hits dropkicks, clotheslines, shoulderblocks. Daniels with a double stomp off the ropes on Hardy. Daniels and Kaz are now both working on Abyss, wrecking him with kicks to the head. Bully Ray is like Cookie on the outside. Crowd is chanting for Flair. Daniels with a submission on Hardy.
Flair comes in, crowd goes apeshit. He dishes out a chop to Kaz, and stomps on Daniels. He chops him and punches him in his dick. Flair is taunting Beer Money. Chops to Kaz. Struts by Flair. He is gyrating at Beer Money. Daniels starts fighting back, but gets beaten by the numbers game.

Fortune sends in Storm, who spits beer at Abyss, gives both a front and reverse facebuster to Hardy.

Flair is begging off. So James Storm breaks a beer bottle over his head. Flair is busted open and James Storm is cutting him with the glass. Wow.

Storm working on Flair in the corner. He’s biting open the wound. Yikes. Fortune is beating Flair’s ass, he staggers around the ring and collapses and starts trying to escape, so they pull his SHIRT OFF AND HIS PANTS DOWN… yeah, that’s right… and they start spanking him… um… yeah.

Bully Ray is in for Immortal, and starts wrecking and yelling. He just takes down everyone, and Flair’s pants are ripped right up the side. Flair is stomping on Storm and working on him. Immortal in full control.

Last man in, Robert Roode. The top of the cage lowers. Roode starts dominating Abyss and Matt Hardy. Flair eventually takes control of Roode, until Roode has just had enough and gives him like 10 chops in a row. Back body drop by Roode on Flair. Flair’s pants seem like they were rigged to be ripped, but he’s eager to keep them on, so I dunno.

Fortune is in control – Cage top with weapons start lowering. Now anyone can win with pin or submission.

So Fortune just grabs everything they can find and start destroying Immortal. Roode is doing some serious violence to seniors. Abyss gets knocked though the cage by Daniels, who follows him outside.

Matt Hardy is going to the top of the cage, and Daniels is right behind him. Daniels and Hardy brawl on top of the cage. Flair is yelling “FUCK!!!” in the cage. Daniels goes for an Angels Wings on the top of the cage, but Hardy reverses and Daniels just about goes flying off the cage, which I don’t think was supposed to happen, but blessedly he’s fine. Hardy hits a Twist Of Hate on top of the cage. Hardy climbs down.

In the ring. Bully Ray is just destroying guys until Storm gets the better of him. Flair gets him with a Kendo stick, but eats a spinebuster by Roode.

Daniels is up, and he dives from the top of the cage to the FLOOR, onto Hardy and Abyss. Dude is fuckin’ insane.

Roode in the ring, has a figure-four on Flair, so Bully Ray destroys him with a trash can. Now he is destroying everyone with a kendo stick. These look like some seriously STIFF shots. Flair grabs a stick and he and Ray start wrecking Fortune. I think Abyss and Hardy are still selling the Daniels dive on the outside.

Ray has busted Daniels open, and is rubbing Daniels’ blood on his face. He’s about to finish off Daniels with a shot from a kendo stick shot when AJ STyles’ music hits, and the crowd comes fucking unglued as he runs out and just ruins his shit on the cage, before hitting a pele.

Beer Money works over Flair, and Roode locks in some kind of armbar. Flair taps.

Winners: Fortune

Very good match. I like that Fortune looked like a legitimate dominant force, because they’ve needed a solid win to solidify them for a while now.

All in all, it wasn’t bad. Pope and Joe was a good match, not great. Angle and Jarrett was suspenseful, and a good outting, especially with Jarrett involved… until the ending. Lethal LockDown was good.

This has been “That Being Said”. Remember to comment with thoughts on the recap or the show, because those are always fun, and follow me at www.Twitter.com/BlairADouglas and I will see everyone on Thursday. Peace.

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