The Rager – R-Truth/Morrison, Sir Cole, and WWE in London.

Oh hello there, didn’t see you come in. Take a seat, I won’t bite. Welcome to another Rager and as always, I’m your indubitable host, Chris and with me, as always, is a comically large-sized jar of Rage waiting to be opened and exposed to the masses. So grab a spoon to receive your daily dose of Rage…or be a real American and just use your hands and dig in…or be a real man or woman-man (yes, I get the redundancy of that) and plunge your head completely in the jar and go to town (for those keeping score, I’m going with the 3rd option).

The First Bite of Rage: Pip Pip Cheerio
There’s a few reason why I dislike watching WEE programming when they go overseas.
1. Nothing actually big happens because its taped and they know it will get leaked (although one could make a point for the R-Truth/Morrison debacle).
2. The staging: Without fail, every london visit, WEE drapes the ramp with stereotypical British-y things such as a ginormous UK flag, the double-decker bus, phone booths, etc. because the fans in attendance need to be reminded they’re in London and because the usual super that says “O2 Arena, London” isn’t enough for the fans at home they’re not in Milwaukee.
Of course, there must be an opposite end of the spectrum and here’s what I like:
1. The fans, maybe its because they don’t get nearly as many opportunities to experience WEE shows in person as American fans but it seems like they’re always incredibly lively crowd and coming up with great chants (I’ll discuss this further with R-Truth).
2. Ok, I guess there is not two but I felt weird for just putting a “1” and nothing coming after it…so…everybody having a good week so far? Really? Awesome…

The Second Mouthful of Rage: Dipped in Smackdown
Hey, I’m talking about Smackdown on Rager! Huzzah! I know, I’m just as surprised.
I’ll admit, I record Smackdown and I fast-forward the vast majority of it. I would like to say that I enjoyed the Battle Royal at the finale but the problem with it was that it was a surprise to nobody that Christian won. The guy has been building a feud with Del Rio for over a month now and it wouldn’t make any sense to put anybody else in that spot. I just feel like Battle Royals like that should be saved for when an new up and comer is gonna get a big push or somebody completely random. Also, I’d prefer Edge not have such a role in the story…I mean, Christian wants to avenge his best friend, thats fair game and a great use for it but having Edge actually there almost makes it look like Christian can’t handle it alone. I hate saying but I would much rather Edge ride off in the sunset and enjoy time to himself like he deserves and have WEE use his injuries as an angle. But then again, Del Rio has toad-face, I mean, Brotus Clay in his corner so I suppose Christian needs someone in his corner to even it out. I don’t know, this may be the ramblings of a mad man and thats the case, no need to worry or notify the authorities, I’ve given my imaginary and surprisingly fluffy friend, Fernando, permission to call the authorities if things get outta hand.

What I’m basically is saying, maybe a smaller tournament with like 8 guys would’ve been better for the predictable outcome. Nevertheless, Christian is in the right spot and the right match so all is well as far as I’m concerned.

The Third Spoonful of Rage (pinky out, naturally): Sir Cole
Well I sure did get my goofy hijinks fill for the year with Cole getting knighted. I understand WEE wants to continue the heat goldmine that is Michael Cole but now its gotten to the point where instead of us wondering who’s gonna be the guest host, its not why goofy garbage is Cole gonna do this time. Again, I’m becoming a grumpy old man (my girlfriend points this out all the time) and I’ve accepted that role but I’m just ready for this Old King/Cole thing to be over. Cole doesn’t need all this to get heat, all he needs is a microphone and sometimes a laptop infront of him. For an “entertainment” company thats obsessed with its image and how its portrayed (a la Stand Up for WWE) in the media, having a fake queen knight Michael Cole seemed out of place when you have that in mind. Of course, WEE is infamous for pulling this kinda thing in a foreign country but I know that personally, I feel like WEE’s ridiculous American hegemonic tone is played out and unnecessary. But thats just me, I may be over-thinking this whole thing and maybe Fernando needs to start dialing…possibly dialing a nursing home but in the meantime, I’m gonna go out on the porch, sit on my rocking chair and yell at Honda Civics for speeding by and blasting their dagnabbit hip hop music. I’m shaking my fist as we speak.

The Fourth Sip of Rage: A Spot of Miz
Just a random thought but when Miz was sitting in a chair saying “I’ll wait” I had a college flashback. Granted, I graduated about 4 months ago so thats not much of a flashback. Anyways, I don’t know if any of you had professors or teachers like this but I loved when they caught students having their own conversation. The professor sees this, proceeds to stop their lesson, stand right in front of them with their hands in front of them, giving the students a cold glare and saying “I’ll wait til you’re done.” I know this doesn’t have anything to do with wrestling but dear me, that was some amazing, tasty awkward moments. Its those kinds of awkward moments that gives me hope for a brighter tomorrow. Yes. We. Can.

The Last Rageful Bite: The Flaming Truth
I suppose Morrison’s slap on the wrist is over. I can just picture John Morrison sitting Native American-style in time out as Vince struts over to him with a chair in-hand. Vince places the chair in front of little Johnny and Vince sits in the chair backwards (assuming he starts off the conversation with “Lets rap”). Vince goes into detail about why he put R-Truth into the main even and that it hurt Vince more than Morrison to do that. Vince asks Johnny if he’s learned his lesson and Johnny responds (with his lower lip hanging out, of course) and shakes his head up and down. Vince gives Johnny a pat on the head and stands and Johnny does so as well. Vince tousle’s Johnny’s hair as Vince tells his to go join Cena and Miz and go play nicely and don’t do that again. And R-Truth gets bumped from the big-boy swings yet again.

Wow, that ended up being a lot more elaborate than I planned. But seriously, it felt like R-Truth winning last week was Morrison’s slap on the wrist and then Vince decided John has suffered enough. As much as it pains me to say this, R-Truth really has been scrapping for a chance to main event and Morrison has been playing chicken with main eventing for a while now. It seems pretty cruel to dangle that in Truth’s face and then take it away this week. I wanna say that WEE isn’t done and that they’re gonna throw some other twist in this.

I did really enjoy the “thats illegal” chant that rose when Truth lit up a cigarette and I thought it would be hilarious if Parlament imposed some sort of fine for this indiscretion but after I looked into it (Wikipedia, its on the internet so it can’t be wrong, right? right? anyone?), I fear the crowd might be misinformed. In the Health Act of 2006 that put a ban of all indoor smoking, there were exceptions made. One of said exceptions were “stages/television sets” where smoking would be needed during the performance. Now, I know its a stretch to call what R-Truth does as a “performance” but nevertheless, I’m pretty sure that counts. Sadly, I don’t believe WEE will get any sort of punishment…although I gladly would’ve for their obvious, corny anti-smoking campaign between Morrison and Truth.

Dessert: Rage à la Crème
So this is just a random Raging from yours truly and has absolutely nothing to do with wrestling, so if you’d rather not stick around for this then thank for reading this far and I’ll see you next time.

As for the rest of you, I just want to share the ridiculousness of my car. My car was leaking transmission fluid and so I took it to a shop that does both repairs and body work. I dropped it off so they could look and give me an estimate. I later find out that my car had been in an accident while it was there. Turns out a guy came in and demanded that his SUV needed to be inspected immediately, when the owner of the shop explained that he’d have to wait a little while. Appalled at the notion of having to wait, the man left abruptly and hopped in his SUV which he backed into (and ontop of) my car’s front bumper. The man obviously drove off immediately, never to be seen by anyone. But good news, not all was lost, my tiny little car received only paint damage whereas the other guy lost a brake light. I call that a win, yes?
But seriously, the owner of the shop was very nice about the whole thing and was obviously incredibly sorry for that happening and fixed and painted my bumper free of charge. I’d give them a free plug but I doubt any of you will be in NC anytime soon plus thats not what I do.

Ah, the kicker of it was that the original problem was a crack in a seal at the front of my transmission and the guys in the shop weren’t specialized to fix it so I had to take it somewhere else.

I’m done complaining now…whew, felt good to get that out. Thanks everyone for sticking around for all that. If you’d like to discuss my Rages, feel free to comment or if you have a completely different Rager of your own, please share. Trust me, it helps quite a bit to get all this out.

Have a great week

The human mind is like a piñata. When it breaks open, there’s a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience.

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