That Being Said: TNA Impact Report for 04.29.2011 – Hogan, Flair, Sting, Angle, Jarrett

Welcome to “That Being Said”.

TNA Is Every Bit As Dumb As I Say

So I wasn’t too sure about this story’s validity, which is why I never said anything about it before now – although no one is refuting it. TNA’s Terry Taylor tried, and failed. So I’m posting a link to it. 

This could be some very bad business for TNA. And it is a very, very sad story, but at the same time, a happy one, in that some of the people that have been mistreated by TNA are finally fighting back, and it looks like others will join. If you read anything tonight, then read this.

Forget watching Impact. Forget my recap. Forget Interinactivity. Read this.

… and let me know what you think.

Also, we got some serious business to take care of tonight. Apparently, some people have labelled me “the TNA hater” and assume that I just want TNA to fail. I’m not sure where anyone is getting this from.

Okay, so it’s just like one or two crazy people that think that. And those one or two people are whacked. But still. What happened was, I took a look at the “10 Thoughts On Impact” thing and had to chuckle at what I saw on there. Read on…


(Comment Taken from last week’s “10 Thoughts On TNA Impact”)
Incognito: I always appreciate your take on the show M.C. Its nice to still have a TNA related column that isn’t just written to get cheap pops from the TNA haters.
Blair: Okay, first of all, “cheap pop”? “TNA haters”? Do people still actually talk like this? Second of all, last week, I openly praised the first segment, the first match, and RVD / Abyss. And I said at the end that the show was half-decent, and, let’s be totally fair, MOST PEOPLE in the comments said the show sucked and were a lot harder on it than I was. I really do try to find stuff on TNA to defend, and the Fortune stuff is the best stuff TNA has done in over a year. So I don’t know where you’re getting any of this from.

So I thought that was pretty funny. Then, just to show MC that I didn’t need to agree with his stuff to enjoy the article (I did enjoy it) I wrote a comment saying exactly that, and that I liked having an alternative opinion to TNA on the site, even if I didn’t agree with it. I even tossed around the idea of doing an “Interinactivity” with MC. Then I got this response from Incognito…

Incognito: Yeah (haha) you NEVER exaggerate how bad something is by about 50x (teehee) or describe something in the worst possible light (LOLGasm) because you have a receptive, like-minded audience. People just make that up about you. (HAH)
Blair: Holy shit. What the fuck does any of that even mean? If I throw a stick, will you go away? I would push you away, but would that would be animal abuse? LOLGasm?!?! What “people” are saying that about me?!?! The worst possible light?!?! What kind of light do you need to make a rape storyline look good?!?!

Do you even read my articles?

Obviously not.

So shut the fuck up.

For the record… again… I’m not a TNA hater. I want TNA to succeed. Of course I want to see TNA succeed – look at WWE right now. I’m not a WWE guy – I don’t even watch WWE right now. That Draft they did on Monday sounded like some of the most redundant, boring shit ever. So why wouldn’t I want TNA to succeed? I like Ring Of Honor, but it’s not like they’re stiff competition. But you people have got to cut me some slack here - TNA, over the last year, has made some of the worst moves in the history of the company. And this is a company with a REALLY bad history. I really hope a lot of the rumors I’m seeing about a sexual harassment case that could really hurt TNA aren’t true. I really do. I really do hope that TNA tries their best to get CM Punk, and use him properly, if what I’ve read about him leaving the WWE is actually true. I want them to use everyone correctly. It’s just that THEY’RE NOT DOING THAT RIGHT NOW. They have so much talent, and they’re misusing like 75% of it. But, again, that’s JUST MY OPINION.

So don’t pretend that all I want to do is rip on TNA when I find every opportunity I can to praise something that they’re doing, like what they’re doing with Fortune. Please, if you take issue with something SPECIFIC, a SPECIFIC critcism about a SPECIFIC PART of the show or my recap of that SPECIFIC part of the show, then I WANT you to put comemnts like that in there. But, for those of you emberassing yourselves by putting silly comments about me hating everything about the show on an article where I said that exact show was half-decent, AND went out of my way to praise a good quarter of that show… I would like to request that you… I don’t know… stop doing that?

Moving on.

Incognito: It was WCW Worldwide that was taped in the MGM studios, with the dumb spinning ring, not Saturday Night. Saturday Night did a couple of tapings there in 1996 but that was a Turner call, not Bischoff – technical issues. How’s THAT for pathetic nitpicking?
Blair: Well, I appreciate the nitpicking in this case, because you’re absolutely right, and this is the only thing that you posted last week that made a lick of sense. My apologies to all for saying it was WCW Saturday Night. So what I should have said was that watching TNA Impact in the Impact Zone is more like watching WCW Worldwide, which even LESS people watched than Saturday Night. In my defense though, I legit forgot that WCW Worldwide even existed – what does that tell you?

Incognito: Oh, and the longest feud in TNA right now is probably Angle vs. Jarrett, not Winter/Velvet. It just feels longer because there aren’t any four star matches in between the endless vignettes.
Blair: To be fair, Angle and Jarrett have only had ONE MORE four-star match than Velvet and Winter have had. And Velvet and Winter have had zero. And four stars may even be a bit generous for the LockDown encounter. And the Jarrett / Angle feud, MOST of the time, is ALMOST as poorly thought out as Velvet / Winter.

John Kinkaid: With regards to the Jarrett/Karen vignette in the carriage; was it just me, or did the horses appear to be moving their mouths in time to the dialogue. I happened to look up from my laptop at one point while Jarrett was speaking and would have sworn it looked like the horse was talking. I kept waiting for them to show the second horse fully to see if it’s mouth moved in time to Karen’s dialogue. Since my only exposure to Impact for a while has been Blair’s write-ups, I honestly thought this surreal moment was intentional.
Blair: I believe that when the human brain sees something it can’t process, it will invent something more entertaining for your eyes to see. I’m guessing this is what happened to you. Let me know what you see during the next Velvet Sky / Angelina Love / Ghost Rapist segment.

EWF_X29: I thought AJ’s opening promo was horrible he sounded like a guy who didn’t know what he was doing on the mic.
Blair: AJ’s promo skills have always been sketchy at best, you’re definitely right there. But that didn’t stop the crowd from going batshit over what it was that he said. While it wasn’t fantastic, I thought that it was one of AJ’s better promos, for better or worse.

CB: Last week I wondered where Jay Lethal was, and unfortunately we found out this week that he’s no longer in TNA. If anyone from TNA deserves a legitimate chance in WWE, it’s Lethal. I still can’t believe they completely wasted a million chances with him, especially with those actually awesome Flair exchanges that got him super-over last year.
Blair: I had a lot of responses to do this week, and the release of Jay Lethal is annoying and makes me angry. So rather than go on and on again, I’m turning this over to a new addition to my “BEST FU#%ING TNA TEAM EVER“, WaterDrip from – he’s going to be taking Matt Hardy’s color. Matt Hardy is not worth me having to change font color. WaterDrip?

So TNA decided “You know what, fuck it, we’re not using the guy, we’ve squandered away any chance of him producing for us because we simply don’t know shit about how to package a wrestling show together, plus, WWE is probably bound to let that fake Batista go soon, maybe even Tyler Reks, so we need to clear some space, plus, maybe the ‘E will get rid of Trent Baretta, so he can fill the role that Lethal had of guy we’re going to misuse, so, let’s just get rid of him. Plus, you know what, Orlando Jordan is on our roster, we’re fucking golden.”

The Fuj: 1 – I like Matt Morgan because he is a big man who is agile and can do more than the average big man wrestler; he has had a couple of really good matches with AJ Styles a few years ago. There is talent in Matt Morgan.

2 – I know EVERYONE hates him but Jeff Jarrett is the best perfomer out there today. He makes you care about him. He makes fans wan to root against him and see him get his butt kicked. Jarrett has picked up his A-game. The guy put on a great match with Kurt Angle at Lockdown. Let’s give the guy some props.

3-Blair, I understand your point a couple of weeks ago that not everything in TNA is perfect and people should see that and not be shaded. I understand. Fine and dandy. But you cannot treat TNA like EVERYTHING in TNA is the worse ever as you seem to do on a weekly basis. So now it has come down to you nitpicking about the Impact zone. What’s next? You are going to criticize TNA for having commercials? You are going criticize TNA fans for breathing air? Or for drinking a cup of water? Seriously, too much analysis by paralysis that a majority of caual fans don’t care about.

4-Crimosn is AWESOME. I dig this guy; he has a look and aura about him that screams Goldberg!

Blair: Yeah, I had more important shit to deal with this week than Fuj’s nonsensical ramblings. So once again, I turned to THE BEST F#%ING TNA TEAM EVER for help. Swayze?

FUJ is awesome. His comments should be featured on the show itself.

1. Matt Morgan isn’t agile and can’t do more than the average ‘big man’. TNA have other ‘big men’ who can all do more. Fact. Furthermore, if the last match you can remember the guy being good in was YEARS ago against a guy known for being really good, then what does that tell you?

2. Jeff Jarrett isn’t the best performer out there today. Not even close. He doesn’t make you care about him. The exact opposite. People don’t want to see him get his ass kicked. They don’t want to see him at all. ONE TIME in TNA’s history did fans want to see Jarrett get beat up. It was against Raven in their second year. Fans were bringing signs with just the date of the match they wanted to see Raven kill Jarrett so bad. Of course, Jarrett won, because it’s his show, and then nobody ever cared about Jarrett ever again, except for know-nothings like yourself. I’ve seen them all. That’s why the ratings are consistantly the same whether Jarrett is on or off the show. Fact.

3. Critizing having commercials or breathing air? You’re being silly. How about just critizing doing a really poor wrestling show every single week? Because that’s what TNA does. Like every week. Maybe people wouldn’t treat everything in TNA like it’s the worst ever if everything in TNA wasn’t the worst ever. There is literally nothing the show can boast about. In fact, I’d say Blair is very generous in his critiques of these shows, like getting behind the Fortune stuff, which is good. It’s laughable how poorly TNA is run. If you can’t see that…then you just don’t get it and you never will. Sorry, my dude.

4. Nothing at all about Crimson screams Goldberg. LOTS about Crimson screams X and Tritan and Judias Messias and Monty Brown and Hoytmania and so on and so forth. Will he be as big as Goldberg? Or will he follow the fate of those other guys? ONLY TIME WILL TELL? Or common sense. It’s the second group.

5. You’re still awesome FUJ.

6. More Steiner on the show please.

7. Fist Pump! 

A couple things I want to add – first, I said that IN MY OPINION, the Impact Zone sucks because they’re running their show at a shit arena that holds shit for people in a shit location in a shit amusement park that provides shit production values, all of which makes TNA look shit welfare compared to WWE. Which wouldn’t be such a big deal if TNA didn’t pretend they were better than WWE all the time. I always see stuff like “TNA is about WRESTLING, WWE is just about entertainment!” Don’t kid yourselves. Nothing could be further from the truth. TNA wants to be WWE so bad it’s not even funny. Which is actually a shame, because WWE is sucking wind right now, and if TNA plays their cards right, they could take advantage – they won’t overtake them, that will just probably never happen, but they could still take advantage. But what does that even have to do with me hating everything on the show, which I didn’t even do?! As for the last five sentances of your comment, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, and I’d bet good money that neither do you.

Second, do you mean that Jeff Jarrett “put on” that match at Lockdown in the same way that you said Matt Hardy “put on” that great match with AJ Styles last month? Yeah, Hardy and Jarrett totally pulled their weight in both those matches. I will give him credit for not fucking it up, how about that? Except for that one part of the match where he DID fuck it up, you know, that one part where Jarrett almost fucking crippled Angle by performing one of the only moves he was actually called on to perform? (Powerbomb from the top rope.) Yeah, totally not just anyone could have botched that, or do the cowardly heel schtick that Jarrett did at LockDown. Jeff Jarrett is awesome, you can tell by his 4 separate runs between WWE and WCW right before no one would ever hire him again so he had to start his own company.

But Fuj, you put a bit more though into it this week – which I appreciate. To show my gratitude, please accept this list of the moves that Matt Morgan has performed in TNA:
– Bicycle Kick (or “CARBON FOOTPRINT, if you’re an idiot.)
– Sidewalk Slam (which he calls the “Hellevator”?)
– Fallaway Slam
– Choke Powerbomb (I’m being VERY generous with the term “powerbomb” here)
– Body Avalance (don’t let the name fool you, this consists of him literally just running into someone)
– Clothesline
– Stupid Standing Corner Elbows

See, and I even called those last three things “moves”, just to be nice. I draw the line at “punches” though. That CARBON FOOTPRINT shit is the lamest finisher I’ve ever seen. “The Hellevator” is his word for a SIDEWALK SLAM?!?! The “Fallaway Slam” is slightly easier to perform than the monkeybars. I think we can all agree that running into a dude really fast is just complete shit. Any big guy who moves with a rod up his ass like Morgan does should be able to perform at least one kind of powerbomb other than the “choke” variety. Those standing elbows are something that he does that is at least different, but they just look a bit dumb is all. I get that you like the dude. That’s cool. There’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s okay to just admit that you like him for reasons outside of him being a terrible wrestler with awful mic skills. We all have guilty pleasures when it comes to favorite wrestlers. Fuck, we’re wrestling fans, if anyone is familiar with guilty pleasures, it’s us, right?

One more comment, and we’re off to the races.

Steven Gepp: And people are telling me this was a good episode? Sorry… NO!
Blair: Yes. Yes, that’s the right answer Steven. Thank you. Thank you so much. I’d kiss you if Pulse hadn’t made me sign forms promising I wouldn’t.

All right, well thanks again for the comments – yes, even the crazy ones. And, these recaps of mine are getting insane traffic, which is something else I have to thank everyone for. 

Now it’s time for some TNA Impact.

“Queen Clouseau”

I don’t know what to think of that title, but I’m scared. Here comes Jeff Jarrett and Karen Angle. Karen has an umbrella. This is not funny. There are a bunch of Knockouts and other girls in the ring. I’m sure this will totally not be the worst thing ever, unless I exaggerate it by about 50 times.

Karen starts yelling at girls while Jeff Jarrett takes her umbrella. Karen starts talking about whoever Kurt’s “mistress” is. All the girls in the ring are her suspects. Karen asks an old lady from catering if it’s her. She yells at the caterer for a while. The caterer doesn’t understand what’s going on. She leaves. All the girls are screaming. Then the exact same thing happens with the seamstress. Then Karen kicks her out of the ring. She’s not finding anything out before she kicks them out of the ring though, which makes this whole thing pointless. Then it happens with Miss Tessmacher. Then it happens with Sarita and Rosita. Then it happens with Tara and Madison Rayne. These girls more or less just put up with it and leave, and don’t just punch her out for… whatever reason. I’m not sure why. This is pain on a whole new level right here. It’s one thing to say they’re doing this for comedy, but it’s not funny, and it makes no sense.

We are 15 minutes of just this. Time has lost no meaning. I pray this is almost over. Karen is yelling at Velvet Sky now.

Velvet tries to slap Karen. Jarrett stops her and yells at her. So she slaps Jarrett instead. Then she goes after Karen, but Jarrett tries to pull them apart.

OH NO. Now Winter and her Rape Bride come down to the ring, and Rape Bride jumps Velvet. Karen and Jeff are leaving. Winter goes to Christy Hemme and tells her to ring the bell or “her demon will get her”. I don’t even know what to say at this point. I mean, just… like… holy shit, man. Holy SHIT. Like… what can I even say?

This is not well-timed, given the message I was triyng to get across with Interinactivity. I try to state that I’m not saying that everything in TNA is the worst thing ever, then they go ahead and air the worst thing ever in the FIRST SEGMENT. And this is the worst thing on Impact all year.  But I’m just exaggerating in order to reach my target audience. Oh, and this is a match now I guess.

Angelina Love .vs. Velvet Sky

Angelina starts choking Velvet.

She’s just shoving and choking her around. Now Angelina is pulling Velvet’s hair. Velvet is screaming. The crowd is dead silent. Angelina pulls some more hair.

Velvet ducks a few things and starts kicking and chopping Angelina. None of this has any effect on Angelina. She’s just standing there while Velvet kicks the shit out of her. Angelina is invincible now. Side effect of the date rape drugs?

So Angelina chokes some more, and tries a chinlock. This goes on for a while. Velvet eventually hits a chinbuster and a couple kneelifts.

Then Velvet goes for Winter. Winter rakes her eyes and gives her a rope neckbreaker. Angelina is up, and kicks her in the head.

Now Winter is telling Angelina to kill Velvet Sky. So Angelina locks on Winter’s finisher. She holds it on for several minutes. Velvet is unconscious.

Winner: Drugged-Out Terminator Blonde Rape Victim

Four Stars thanks to the involvement of Karen Angle, but I am willing to bump it up to 8 once they throw in some time travel.

In the parking lot, Ken Anderson is getting out of his truck. Someone asks him about his truck. He talks about how he loves his truck. And he wants his title shot. Amazingly, that Ken Anderson segment was the least painful thing on Impact so far. Oh, and in future news, Sting will probably beat up that truck. Because that hasn’t been done 1000 times.

I’m going to watch The Office. I can’t handle this Impact.

30 minutes in. I’m really hoping they got all the pain out of the way in the first half hour. I really am. They gotta have most of the pain out of the way, right?

Morgan been out yet?

… shit.

Damn, and speaking of which, backstage, Matt Morgan is walking around explaining the angle he’s involved in with Scott Steiner. Five stars.

Here comes Mexican America, who were a big deal until they were jobbed out in their first feud to Matt Morgan. But we should still totally take them seriously. To illustrate this, they drop the flag, and the Impact Zone boos, because I guess they’re all racist. Anarchia speaks Spanish. America belongs to them now. Spanish announcers are saluting.

Anarchia .vs. Chris Sabin

Oh man, they’re gonna job Sabin out to this loser, aren’t they?

The girls rush the ring, and Sabin is distracted. Anarchia jumps him and steps on his face. Sabin fights back with a couple forearms and a flying elbow shot. He jumps to the apron, and jumps a trip attempt from Hernandez and hits a botched springboard elbow to Anarchia. Anarchia with a rollup. PIN?!?! TNA fucking sucks.

Winner: Anarchia

So… either Sabin messed up his leg, or it was just bullshit altogether. Doesn’t really matter. Mexican America starts jumping him, but ALEX SHELLEY comes back to a huge reaction, and again, nothing like what they do for Anderson or Morgan, and clears the ring of Mexican America. Alex Shelley is tremendous.

Scott Steiner is mini-golfing. With a very small club. For some reason. He wants to know why the sun goes up and down. Swear. He would kill himself if he were Matt Morgan. Swear. That’s why he kicked his ass. Swear. Matt Morgan can come find him. Swear. He’s not a hard man to find. Swear. Something about shooting DNA to the moon, I think. Swear. Steiner is tremendous.

After the commercial, Morgan has found Steiner. Steiner is yelling at him from behind the curtain. So Morgan goes behind the curtain like a retard. Morgan goes farther than Steiner ever could have walked if he WERENT crippled, again, because he’s a moron, and Steiner jumps hum from behind and kicks his ass while swearing at him. For like 5 fucking minutes.

Then Morgan gets the upper-hand. Then he kicks Steiner’s ass. For like 5 fucking minutes. Steiner is still swearing. Steiner screams apology. On the plus side, Matt Morgan’s glaring inadequacies are much less visible in a backstage brawl. See, I can say nice things.

Hey, Sting is approaching Ken Anderson’s truck. WOW!!! I TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING OR ANYTHING!!! Sting busts up the truck.

TNA Television Title Match
Christopher Daniels .vs. Gunner

Hm, interesting. This could be okay.

They are actually running some matches tonight, if you want to call that first segment a match. Gunner has an okay look to him. I may have been too hard on him perviously. No better test to that theory than to put him in there with Daniels. Gunner jumps Daniels at the bell, and stomps on him and punches him. Daniels gives him a kick and a clothesline to the back of the head. He ducks a clothesline, and jumps an irish whip, and gives some backhand chops.

Gunner with a kneelift. Then stomps. Never mind, I think Gunner might suck. Gunner lifts him up, Daniels hits a crucifix for 2. Another knee by Gunner. And another. Then he… gives him… a reverse bearhug? I guess? Wow, this guy sucks.

Daniels gets up, but Gunner gives him a nice front suplex. Finally. Then he gives him more knees and chops in the corner. People are chanting “Fallen Angel” and when Daniels silthers to the apron, Gunner hits the buckle. Daniels then gives him the only move Daniels does that I really don’t like, that move where he grabs the arm and does that really weak stomp. Then Daniels puts Gunner on the rope and tosses him off for a 2-count. Gunner runs Daniels into the corner when Daniels goes for Angels Wings, and hits an irish whip.

Gunner does whatever his on-the-shoulder move is, but Daniels counters and misses a BME. Gunner puts Daniels into the post (not the turnbuckle), and hits a VERY nice F-5. 3-count.

Winner & Still TNA Television Champion: Gunner

Well, I was hoping for a different ending, that’s for sure, because Daniels deserves a lot better than losing to this scrub… BUT the match wasn’t bad, mostly because Daniels was carrying it. But Gunner did hit a couple decent moves, and the ending had a lot of suspense. Not bad.

Oh, and please, please remember that I said that before you leave me some retarded comment. Incognito, I’m looking in your direction, but I haven’t forgotten about you either, Fuj.

After a commercial, Sting’s music hits and he comes out to a great reaction. Sting tells whoever’s truck that is, that they left their windows down. Sting says he’s trying really hard to get Hogan and Bischoff out of TNA, but Anderson keeps getting in his way. He calls Anderson to the ring.

Anderson comes out with Sting’s bat. He asks Sting if he smashed his truck. Sting stutters and says no. Ken Anderson says that he saw a video of Sting smashing his truck. He asks Sting if he imagined that. Sting says he did. Ken Anderson asks him AGAIN. Sting admits it this time. Then Ken Anderson says “okay, I will get the windows replaced.” Okay then. Then he says that he will replace the whole truck because he is rich. No he isn’t. Okay then.

Then Anderson rambles some. Anderson wants to be Sting’s opponent since The Network called that Sting can name his opponent. Rob Van Dam’s music hits, and he comes to the ring. Van Dam appreciates Sting trying to “connect” with him. He thanks Sting. He says if Sting wants to kick Ken Anderson’s ass, that RVD is fine with it.

So Ken Anderson starts EMOTING. He might be mildly retarded. Sting agrees to fight Anderson for the world title. Hogan’s music hits. Crazy heat on Hogan, which, as painful as this story is, is a good thing.

Hogan says Sting can’t just hand out title shots. So he says Sting IS going to fight Anderson tonight. But Hogan is adding Bully Ray to the match. Interesting.

Someone is asking Samoa Joe what he thinks of Crimson. Joe thinks Crimson is awesome. He asks Joe about Crimson’s “streak” since Joe was undefeated as well. Joe says that what he did in TNA will never be re-created. He was undefeated 18 months and Crimson has been here 3 months.

Samoa Joe .vs. Crimson

See, this isn’t bad. I legitimately don’t know who is going to win this match. I know that Joe will PROBABLY lose and that sucks because Joe deserves a lot better, especially after FINALLY beating Pope, and they’re going to job him out to someone they’ll give up on but… whatever. Maybe it will be a good match at least?

They trade some punches in the ring, and Crimson gives Joe a boot, followed by some silly front headlock. Kneestrikes, then Joe hits the giant mule kick. Joe with some strikes. 2-count already. Crimson does give Joe a badass exploder suplex and a spinning neckbreaker. Very nice.

Joe gives Crimson a nice kick, but Crimson ducks a second kick and botches a suplex. HAH. Joe starts slapping, but Crimson shuts him down. He throws him into the corner, but Joe catches him and tosses him to the ground. Crimson to the outside.

Abyss comes down to the ring, and jumps Crimson.

Winner By DQ: Crimson

Joe and Abyss stare down, and Joe just laughs and walks away. Nice touch. Abyss kicks Crimson’s ass for a while. Eventually they get back into the ring, and Abyss delivers a Blackhole Slam. That was better than I thought it’d be. Not a great match, but it was okay, both guys looked strong, they didn’t job Joe out unneccesarily, and Crimson did a few impressive moves, even though he botched one. Joe looks like he doesn’t care, which is a good attitude for him to have.

Ken Anderson interview. Nothing interesting. As per normal. Ken Anderson sucks.

Kurt Angle is talking about how Karen is a dumb bitch.

HARDCORE COUNTRY! Mickie James is here, and she goes to the ring. She thanks the fan. Interestingly enough, no one interrupts her. That’s nice.

She loves Rock and Roll!

Put another dime in the jukebox baby,

She stole this song,
And changed it’s name.

Bully Ray is talking in the back. He talks about how he is going to be the World Champion, and would have been sooner if it wasn’t for D-Von. He calls Ken Anderson an asshole. OMG TNA RULES!!! WWE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT!!! DOWN WITH PG!!!

TNA World Heavyweight Title Match
Sting .vs. Ken Anderson .vs. Bully Ray

Taz points out that for a dude complaining that he never gets title shots, Ken Anderson is getting a lot of fucking title shots. People are still going nuts for Sting. No real reaction for Anderson. Decent heel reaction for Ray. Jeremy Borash is here now. Is it true he told someone that he wanted his family to die when the dude was criticizing TNA?

Triple-threats are hard to recap. Sting goes after Anderson. Ray just watches in the corner, before he blindsides Sting and pounds him to the ground. Then all 3 just start kicking and punching each other. Typical triple-threat match. Stuff. It just goes back in forth.

It’s not a bad match. I just can’t think of that much to say about it. Ray has great heat. His heel push is another one of the ONLY good things TNA has done in the last year.

Suplex by Ray to Anderson. 2 count. Stomps by Ray onto Anderson and Sting. What looks like a stiff chop from Ray onto Anderson in the corner. Anderson and Ray start trading punches. Ray drops Anderson, and then stomps some more on Sting. Anderson does eventually hit some clotheslines and elbow strikes, because he’s versatile like that, and gets a 2-count.

Sting eventually gets up, and also hits some clotheslines, and a Stinger Splash. Ray pulls a ref in the way when Sting goes after him, and ref is down. Ray hits Sting with the pipe, and says that was for Hogan.

AJ Styles hits the ring, and starts pounding on Ray. Crowd goes insane. AJ hits a Pele and bails. Sting hits Ray with the pipe and pins.

Winner & Still TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Sting

I’m not going to call this end-of-show BS they’ve been doing lately with the interviews. Not one of them has told us anything we didn’t know, and it’s like they’re trying to do REACTION in 8 minutes, and there’s a reason no one watched REACTION. So, as far as I’m concerned, show over.

All right – well Impact got progressively better as time went on, but a lot of that is because that first 30 minutes… wow, man. Just wow. At least it kept you awake, which WWE can’t do lately, in the way that renting a car and lighting it on fire before driving it over a waterfall would keep you awake.

Thanks for reading, remember to comment and

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