EXW Adrenaline Rush 04.26.2011 — Dom Vitalli, Val Venis, “Matt Hardy”

EXW Adrenaline Rush – April 26th

Dark Match
Lucha Star

A few adjectives flooded to my mind upon my first glimpse at this man named Lucha Star. Tall. Thin. Energetic. Gravity-less. And throughout the quick match, all I could think of was how his pseudonym fit him like an expensive suit. But on the flip side of his flippy side, Clutch brought the usual dose of power, that surprisingly made for a good fit. It was a solid opening, altogether.
Winner: Lucha Star

I didn’t realize just how long it had been since we’d heard Johnny Roxx’s voice until he started one more edition of “On The Roxx.” Damn, where on earth has he been? He proudly discusses the achievements of the Freak Squad like a proud papa bear, inflating their already at-capacity egos even further. And who could blame him. He brings out two of the three members, but it isn’t long before Mr. Derick Neikirk himself enters. In a flurry of words and insults, a main event is set. Dom and Derick would face each other, putting up Derick’s Heavyweight Belt, and Dom’s Elite Championship, title for title. Gallo was also to be banned from ringside, and if he got involved, the Freaks would be stripped of their tag titles and Elite title. Heatin’ up…

Match #1
Ray Basura
Shadow Fox

Finally! A real matchup between these two. The last time I saw them, it was bittersweet. Fox was jumped during his entrance for an all-too-short disaster. But that night, the Prophet came back from another long hiatus. So it was a win-win. But, back to the present. For someone I could fit in my pocket, Shadow Fox has an undeniable power about him, with a sharp offense and blunt style. And Basura stole the control like it had never been taken from him. I’m intrigued by these two, and would like to see them truly tear each other apart sometime soon.
Winner: Ray Basura

Match #2
Moshpit Mike
Willie Mack

Ah, Moshpit. He’s one of the few that can find the healthiest balance of fan interaction and in-ring action. He gets crazy reactions from the audience every time he enters, but still provides the entertainment the fans paid for. And Willie Mack…what a catch. These two fit together perfectly, and I was floored when Mack hit one of the most graceful moonsaults I’d ever seen. It was a hard fought battle, and an abrupt—yet impressive—finish.
Winner: Willie Mack

Match #3
Shane Stratmore
Woodrow Santanelli

Steve Osborn was present to escort Woodrow out, and ended up sitting at the announce table. Shane looked absolutely splendid, drawing most of the focus onto him. And I must declare him the Master of Chops, as his always make my stomach hurt. I searched for quite some time to figure out an adjective that described Woodrow’s performance that night, and it was “timid”. I’ve seen great things from him, but his stern face seemed to overpower everything else. But I must say, his meaner, aggressive attitude is simply magnificent. The win he picked up was so quick, I barely knew it had happened.
Winner: Woodrow Santanelli

Match #4
Cedric the Hitman
Andrew Hellman
Miracle Mike James

I simply adore matches where I don’t know who I’m rooting for. It’s like the ultimate win-win, or win-win-win in this case. This match unfolded beautifully, telling a real story…something most matches neglect. Is that too “real”? Oh well. Cedric rolled out of the ring early, and Hellman and James decided team up momentarily against him. But like I said, it was momentarily. Soon, it was every man for himself, as they couldn’t decide where they wanted to remain. Inside the ring, outside the ring. Soon, Cedric was comfortable on his back, while Hellman and James fought over who would pin him. Another lightning-quick series of maneuvers would cause Cedric to pull Miracle Mike out of Hellman’s path of fury, just long enough to take advantage for himself. This had to be one of the most random Triple Threats, but ended up being one of the best I’ve seen.
Winner: Cedric the Hitman

Of course, no night would be complete without Tyson Tyler and Johnny Stamboli! They walk out, bestowing a new nickname on Steve Balls Osborn. The banter goes back and forth, but has definitely been more interesting on Twitter (Tyson, Steve). Steve says he needs to make “an example of Tyler”, suspending him for the evening, and placing Stamboli in a handicap match.

Match #5
Johnny Stamboli
JB Bad and Jay Garland

I could nearly feel Stamboli’s laughter as he scoffed at the short attempts to take him out. This match was over before it started. But in the best way.
Winner: Johnny Stamboli

Val Venis then made his way out, itching to get his hands on the Freaks, and questioning the main event. Soon, through a combination of words, Matt Hardy’s music cued up, with Matt Hardy (Johnny Manson) walking out…or stumbling out. Val asks Matt if he’s able to compete, to which Matt slurs “as long as I have these pills!” and chugs the bottle. Words are exchanged, before Hardy slams his water on the head of Val (which, might I add, all landed on my table, and face). This led straight into a match…

Match #6
Val Venis
“Matt Hardy”

Hardy (Manson) goes for the Twist of Fate, but is stopped. It takes absolutely no time at all for Val to pin Hardy in one of the most bizarre (see: awesome) matches I’ve ever seen.
Winner: Val Venis

Val stands over the broken “Hardy”, before imploring him to take the message he’s sending. “It’s all fun and games until you lose someone you care about.” I’m almost positive I don’t have to explain that one!

Match #7
Dom “The Bomb” Vitalli
Derick Neikirk
Title for Title

I’d like to say I’m surprised to see that Vitalli had a louder group of fans than Neikirk, but it’s become the norm. Everyone wants a piece of the Freak Squad. But I digress. What started out slow, morphed into something huge. Neikirk was an absolute beast. The fight moved outside the ring, where Neikirk hit Vitalli with a suplex on the concrete that made my hand shoot up to my mouth, shocked. And it definitely did not stop there. These two men  absolutely tore each other apart, in one of the best matches I’ve seen in my entire life. The back and forth was ridiculous, the spots were insane, and I started to wonder who would come up victorious. The bell rang at a random time, distracting Neikirk long enough for Dom to assault Neikirk with a chair. But it wasn’t over until Dom delivered a Superkick, and then an elbow drop.
Winner: Dom Vitalli

An uproar swept over the crowd, but it was a good one. Everyone was exhilarated to see the last piece of gold fall into the hands of the Freaks. The celebration was spectacular, as Gallo tossed Dom two cans. In true Stone Cold fashion, he smacked the two together and took a long swig. In totally NOT Stone Cold Fashions, the cans were of Diet Coke, Dom’s signature drink. Well, that’s how a stable takes over.


So, what’s next? Dom holds the Elite Title, Tag Team Title, and now the Heavyweight Title. The Freak Squad has EXW by the balls, and I certainly like that view. Which is something I never thought I’d say.


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And all Arizona residents: These boys are gearing up for their big show on May 29th, at the Celebrity Theater in Downtown Phoenix. Who will be there? All these fabulous men, as well as Bill DeMott and Tommy Dreamer. Now, how could that show get any better? Well, if I know these boys like I’m certain I do, they’ll find a way.

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