The O’Really Report – One Lump of Extreme or Two? (WWE Extreme Rules Analysis)

Welcome my lovely audience to this week’s SECOND edition of The O’Really Report.  I am your hostest with the mostest, Rhett The RAD Davis, but, before we get into the task at hand, I have some things to get off my chest.  USA! USA! USA! That’s all I’ve heard throughout the web and throughout my classes these last few days.  And I’m sure anyone and everyone knows the reason by now.  If not, please turn on the news.  It’s still on, I promise.  Well either that or Donald Trump accusing Barack of not being born in America, but back to topic… Today I come to you as your Extreme Reviewer.  Yes I watched Extreme Rules, and yes I thought it was better than WrestleMania.  Does that come as a shock to you?  Really?  Well it did to me as I very seldom buy WWE PPVs with the exception of WrestleMania and Royal Rumble, but I had a very sneaky suspicion about one of the title matches and it didn’t cease to impress!  But more on that later.  First, let’s get the self-promoting out of the way…

Facebook:  Rhett Davis (Yes I have one, no I haven’t figured out how to tag it yet… hmm…)

Twitter:  @radmann9 (Yep all of my Extreme Rules PxP responses are on there…  even my tribal yelling… ahem…)

AIM:  rhettpulse

Also this week I did what I thought was originally going to be The O’Really Report today, but… it aired on Sunday this week instead because it only fit there and so we get a double helping of ORR this week.  Actually that was my second Combo Column and this week’s guest was The View From Down Here’s own Steven Gepp!  You can check that out here!  Oh and don’t forget to get my 10 Thoughts on WWE right here!

Before I divulge from opening comments into my column let’s take a minute to talk some smack if we can?

GOJIRA!  You knucklehead!  You think you are sly?  What you can throw large words at these people’s heads and expect them to get it?  That’s where you went wrong!  Because these incompetent readers don’t care about your little boo-boo last Monday.  Would you like me to kiss it and make it better?  You want me to give you a Hello Kitty band-aid to put on it?  You know what… I think I’ll let your crony Glazer do that.  It seems he’s pretty dang good at puckering up and kissing backsides.  And as for your accusations towards me and my dear friend Kue, they are nothing more than mere rumors.  Do you really think that we took time out of our busy schedules to beat up a little punk like you?  I’d sooner spend time fighting more Great Whites in the ocean than waste my time on you boy.  Beware who you point figures at unless you want that finger broken.  And as for that Tag Team VS coming up… hit the library, read some literature, grab the dictionary.  Do whatever you deem necessary, but realize that your day is coming and on that day there won’t be just obliteration.  There will be ULTIMATE DAVISTATION!

*adjusts self, drops character zero*

Now that I have that bit of a promo over I can get down to Extreme Rules and this is in order of match performance. (and a slight push of favoritism)

Match #1:  The Country Whippin’ Match – Michael Cole and Jack Swagger vs Jerry Lawler and JR

C’mon there was no way that this match wasn’t making it into my column without being dubbed the worst match on the card.  I despise this feud and I just want it to go away.  Please?  I spent this match checking out Twitter and just being bored.  Terrible match, but not much was really expected.  I’m just glad they didn’t move this until later in the night like WrestleMania.  So on the star scale… ¼*.  Congratulations.

Match #2:  WWE Tag Team Championship Lumberjack Match – Kane & The Big Show (c) vs Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson

Okay, this match was rated so low because A) it was added last minute without any announcement which I generally dislike, and B) it didn’t resolve anything and it just furthered storyline.  There were two unannounced matches on the card and that’s ridiculous.  They should’ve known that 6 matches weren’t going to be enough to fill up the entire 3 hour show.  Especially a WWE PPV.  They should’ve announced this match on SmackDown!  However, if they would’ve put on a clinic, then I might’ve been okay with it.  If it hadn’t been for the sheer awfulness of the Country Whipping match, this match would’ve been #1 definitely.  The only thing to come out of this match is now we have more dissention in The Corre as Wade tagged himself in to try to take advantage of Big Zeke’s slam on The Big Show and was hit with the Chokeslam for three.  Star Scale… *.

Match #3:  Loser Leaves WWE Match No DQ – Michelle McCool vs Layla

You know this wasn’t half bad.  I’ll be honest I liked almost every match on the card with the exception of the first two and this match actually had me intrigued and interested.  Sure most of the interest was because of the eventual debut of Kharma, but the match didn’t disappoint from a Diva’s Division point of view.  The end was kind of lame considering this was McCool’s retirement match and she lost on a rollup, but I’m not even sure what Layla’s finisher is.  Kharma was definitely a highlight of the night, but there was one other moment that surpassed even that.  Star Scale **1/2.

Match #4:  United States Championship Tables Match – Sheamus (c) vs Kofi Kingston

I liked this addition.  I know I just ranted on adding matches last second, but I also said it was cool if they delivered.  This match was fantastic.  I hated seeing Sheamus lose; he needs as much heat as he can get going over to SmackDown.  However, moving the U.S. title over to Raw was a smart move, even if it means that the Jamaican Jobber has it currently.  Having both the I-C title and the US title on the same show is just a mistake and as soon as the match was announced, I knew Kofi was winning.  Perhaps that’s why they didn’t announce it.  I loved this match though, but the one thing that discerned me was the fact that Kofi beat Sheamus in a TABLES match.  I don’t know if they meant that to be a karma thing (see what I did there?) with what goes around, comes around, but it messed up his whole “Tables Matches are my specialty” vibe I got when he won the WWE title.  Despite that, the finish was phenomenal with the Boom Boom Leg Drop onto Sheamus through the Table.  Great ending. Star Scale ***.

Match #5:  Last Man Standing Match – Randy Orton vs CM Punk

This feud finally met it’s end this past Sunday in a Last Man Standing match.  Overall, this match felt like they were holding back from getting TOOO extreme.  That was the major flaw with this match.  They needed that TV-14 rating instead of PG.  The match was a great one, but, as Chris Sanders said in his Rager column, it just wasn’t awesome like their WrestleMania encounter.  The best part of the entire match was when Randal picked up the Kendo Stick and went to work on Punk’s back while he was suspended on the corner.  He looked vicious and that’s exactly what the PG Viper needs.  Altogether a great match, but just not their WrestleMania encounter.  Oh and this match being the curtain jerker is absurd.  Star Scale… ***1/4.

Match #6:  WWE Championship Steel Cage Match – The Miz (c) vs John Cena vs John Morrison

I was surprised by this match.  Seriously this match brought out all the stops and really impressed me.  Who would’ve thought that one of my favorite matches on the card would be the steel cage match between JoMo, Cena, and The Miz?  There were so many suspenseful moments in the match as Cena would go to stop Miz and sure enough JoMo would be running out on the other side and then swap character would happen in a few more minutes.  Fantastic match.  The crotch smash on the cage door by JoMo looked dreadfully painful and really reminded me of his match with Jeff Hardy several years ago at New Year’s Revolution.  R-Truth interfering was predictable, but nevertheless made the most sense.  This way it looks like Morrison could’ve won the title and it enacts revenge from JoMo taking R-Truth’s opportunity.  I was surprised by the ending as well as with all of the faces winning all night, I was sure Miz was going home with the title.  However, he couldn’t get it done and now John SuperCena is back and he’s going to hold it until WrestleMania so he says.  Dear Lord, I hope he’s wrong.  Star Scale… ***1/2.

Match #7:  Falls Count Anywhere Match – Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes

The final two matches on my list were both stellar and I had a hard time choosing between them, but I finally decided and the Rey/Cody match gets a Silver Medal.  The Falls Count Anywhere matches are always some of my favorites and this one didn’t disappoint.  The Boston Crab in the handrails up the stairs was innovative and looked painful.  For a second though, it looked as if Rey was about to beat Cody by hitting him with the plastic lid from a trash can.  Thank God, it was not to be so, but it looked/sounded terrible.  Overall, a fantastic match and an AWESOME video package to open it off.  It really had me psyched for the collision between the two masked superstars.  Star Scale… ****.

Match #8:  World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match – Christian vs Alberto Del Rio

This match had me literally BOUNCING OFF THE CHAIR.  Holy crap, I haven’t gotten that much behind a match since Miz cashed in his MITB and before that when Edge cashed in his first.  I thought for sure Alberto Del Rio was going to win with every time that Christian almost had it, but would be taken down by del Rio or Brodus.  Seriously I was cussing out Brodus Clay when he grabbed Christian and pulled him down from being wrapped around the brass ring.  I know, I know… you’re Mark alarm is probably going off, but seriously who in the last three or four years has deserved to win the World Heavyweight Title more so than Christian?  Nobody, that’s who.  He’s put in years, and years, and years of dedication into the company (with a slight detour with TNA) and now he’s finally getting his due.  Thank you Vince, and thank you WWE for this phenomenal moment.  Easily the best moment of the night and the year.  Star Scale… ****1/2.

Cheap Plugs

Numero Uno, M. C. Brown is dropping it like it’s hot with his 10 Thoughts on SmackDown!  Feel free to go get funky with the Brown man right chea!

Second, CB had a phenomenal article Monday that was really inspiring and heartfelt about the Osama Bin Laden news Sunday night.

Three, my P.I.C. is bringing the heat and throwing guys like Gojerk out of the kitchen in his latest Kue’s Korner!

For, the most raging piece of rage on the rageweb is available for a low price that they’ll have you raging about here at InsidePulse!

All in all, Extreme Rules was a great PPV and it was full of fantastic matches.  Which match did you like the best?  Orton/Punk? Rey/Cody? Christian/ADR? Cena/Miz/Morrison? Or which match would you have liked to have seen the most if you didn’t catch the show?

Thanks for reading and feel free to respond in the comment section below!

And quite frankly my dear…. that’s a wrap!

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