10 Thoughts on WWE Superstars 05.05.2011 — Evan Bourne, Zack Ryder, Trent Barreta, Beth Phoenix

Well, boys and girls, here we are with another Superstars. I can finally watch it, now that I have commandeered a computer that is aware it’s from the 21st century, unlike my laptop. Boy, this sure was easier when Superstars was on WGN. But I digress.

1. Not gonna lie, I kind of forgot Jey Uso was alive. I did think of a way to remember who is who, though. Jey has the tattoo on his chest. Rey Mysterio has tons of tattoos. Jey. Rey. See what I did there?

2. I had a lot of people electronically bitch slap me when I first start discussing Trent Barreta, as I did not like him. But I’ve watched him develop and grow over the last year, and I like what I see. What used to be a stiff mess of bland energy, has turned into a fluid display of gravity defiance. And his finisher is one I never tire of, now that it’s completed cleanly. Keep it up, Escalator Ninja.

3. Not that I’m behind the whole “We’re not wrestling, we’re global entertainment!” nonsense, but That’s What I Am actually looks really good. Glad to see real substance as opposed to The Chaperone and Knuckleheads.

4. I really need to set a date with my DVR to catch up on Tough Enough. I only watched the first episode, but have been so busy with my “day job” that suddenly, it’s May. Especially because I heard Michelle is gone.

5. It has been far too long since the last time I watched Beth Phoenix in the ring. Please stop pairing her with Khali for duets. She is MUCH needed elsewhere.

6. Melina, on the other hand, almost seems to doing a parody on pro-wrestling at every turn. She has an interesting style, but I find myself furrowing my brow at the things she does more than I marvel.

7. It’s going to take a lot of alcohol to erase the image of Khali in a tooth fairy outfit from my brain.

8. Oh, Evan Bourne. How I was hoping for your Draft to Smackdown, where you might actually do something great. If he was given a real purpose, perhaps even a miniature storyline, I think it could work. In fact, a feud with Ryder would do wonders for both. They seemed to really mesh well together, and fed off each other in this match.

9. Anything I have to say about Ryder, is something that has already been said a million times by either me, or his other fans. So…why not discuss how much I want the hybrid pants back?

10. Random Thought of the Week: Elephant in the room. By now, everyone knows about what happened on Smackdown. That spoiler leaked FAST, due to the outrage that ensued. I want to know what everyone else’s take is on it (and yes, I mean the Orton/Christian debacle), as my delightful opinion will be prepared on my Smackdown Report.

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