Howdy friends and fellow Rageans, to another edition of The Rager. As always, I am your Gondolier (I felt like “humble host” is used too frequently nowadays) navigating you all through this canal of murky, sticky Rage water thats thick like syrup (which according to my girlfriend, I pronounce incorrectly…I say “sur-rup”).
Obscure metaphors aside, last week I gave my thoughts on the current curious happenings of one R-Truth (whom i now like to refer to as “R-Heel” for those of you keeping score at home). This week we resume our regularly-scheduled programming and give my thoughts of various things going on within the Wrestling world. And this time, I really mean mean wrestling “world” because in this edition I have not only Raw or Smackdown issues to discuss but TNA as well!
What is this…TNA…thing? *poke…poke*
I actually caught TNA Sacrifice this past weekend. I know, I know, the end is like totally uber nigh because of me watching it…my bad but you can’t blame me, I was bored and I do crazy stuff when I’m bored.
Now please note that I have NEVER watched any bit of TNA programming prior to this so if I make any glaring mistakes, please blame it on pure ignorance.
Overall it was an interesting show, you could’ve easily had a drinking game every time Mick Foley said “wrestling” and be completely plastered fairly quickly. Its an obvious shot at WEE (World Entertainment Entertainment for you squirrly score keepers) and quite honestly, they deserve it for their nonsensical hysteria over semantics. I’ve heard the promo video for the whole “wrestling matters” thing was pretty good, I’ve yet to check it out myself yet but I mean to do so just to see.
I will say that watching Sacrifice reminded me that I miss Brian Kendrick but more so for his in-ring ability rather than for his weird gimmick he had going on. But seeing him brought back when he was THE Brian Kendrick (yes, I liked him more then than when he was with Paul London) and though he was grossly overlooked and underrated by the powers that be, he joining up with then-newcomer Ezekiel Jackson brought forth a fantastic chemistry and great promos.
Also, Chyna looked terrible in the ring, she’s lucky she didn’t kill someone by accident.
All-in-all, I thought it was a pretty good show, if i was a regular viewer, I might’ve been more invested into the personalities and rivalries but on sheer wrestling value, I gave it a thumbs-up. The one individual that stood out to me was AJ Styles, I don’t know his story but homeboy needs a push and stay there.
But lets return back to the world I know…onward to the soul-less WEE side of things!
Yawning Over the Limit: Anti-Rager
I really have no really excited anticipation for Over the Limit and it feels like Extreme Rules was five minutes ago. It all seems sloppy and slapped together at the last minute and the rivalries seem played out and dry. But then again, thats when WEE likes to pull something out of their butts (assuming whatever that may be is shined up real nice and in a sideways position) and catch us off-guard so I guess we’ll see.
The Perfect Embodiment of Rage
I’m feeling my inner grumpy old man starting to float to the surface (wow that was very mass-murderer of me) of my mind when Awesome Kharma comes out and does her attacks on the Divas. I’m ready to see her in an actual match. Kinda like how they handled Sin Cara’s debut: he came out and went after a couple Heels over the course of a week and was in matches very soon thereafter. So what I’m getting at here is that lets see her in full-on action already!
Dear WEE, stop insulting the intelligence of Wrestling fans and showing replays of Kharma’s attacks before a Divas match and expecting us to be surprised that she attacks during that very Divas match, it throws the illusion of random
attacks completely out the window. kthxbye
Sincerely Chris The Colossal Sanders (thanks for the nickname, Rhett)
Rage Lighting
So I’m still not sure about the whole special lighting Sin Cara gets during his matches now. I’m not sure if this is something the company wants to try and do for more wrestlers but for the time-being me-no-likey. What are your thoughts/explanations on this?
The Speculatory Corner of Rage
So there’s been some talk about Chris Jericho’s return and even he seems unsure about when or even if he’ll return. I really don’t think he wants his wrestling career to end like it did nor does he deserve it. He deserves all the pomp and circumstance that any of the wrestling legends get and i think he deserves at least 1 more long-time run over the course of a few years. I wanna say that he returns fairly soon while his stock is still up after Dancing with the Has-beens and then work a staggered schedule as Fozzy goes on tour over the summer. The story I’d love to see play out is him coming back after he finally makes the discovery of who the anonymous General Manager of Raw is…or at least returning as he puts the final pieces together over the course of a few weeks and then a showdown betwixt him and whoever the culprit maybe. Either way, I hope his return is sooner than later.
Random Rages
This past RAW, R-Heel attacked Rey Mysterio but I found myself drawing my attention to R-Heel’s pants and the lack of words on them and I realized that I had begun to take him very seriously which is something I have never done before. I believe this is a first for him and I’m not sure what the seriousness to worded pants ratio works out but I just might have to make a piechart or something…
Has there ever been a civil match contract signing…ever? It seems like a way to have the participants in an altercation before the match takes place. The only contract signing that actually did anything for me was last year’s signing with McMahon and Bret Hart where he did the cast reveal which was really smooth. Other than that, I find myself rolling my eyes quite a bit during every contract signing.
Finally, Jerry The King Lawler really seems to despise neckties lately…the only explanation I can react is that he’s avenging justin Roberts for last year’s Tie-Gate and remind people that Daniel Bryan wasn’t the only victim!
On a personal note, last week I mentioned a job interview and as a follow-up, the interview went great and the job is mine, I’m just waiting on one final phone call and then I’m moving.
On an entertainment note, I picked up the lastest album by Manchester Orchestra titled Simple Math, I highly recommend this to everyone as good quality music. I actually listened the entire time I wrote this particular Rager.
Also, Thor was awesome but I’m probably preaching to the choir here.
Thats all I’m Raging about this week, catch next week’s edition where I’m sure I’ll have a brand new batch of sticky Ragings. In the meantime, comment below on your thoughts of these Ragings as well as any other Rage you might be feeling yourself. Be sure to check out some of the great columns on Pulse Wrestling that will be coming out this week. They’re all great reads that help move the week along (I speak from experience).
Have a great week, Rageans!
-Chris
cwsanders39@gmail.com
Facebook
Twitter
Sir, you have but two topicks, yourself and me. I am sick of both.
