Things are looking dire for DC; Thor is killing at the box office, Smallville has just ended and Wonder Woman didn’t get picked up. DC needs to get some of their properties onto the screen in a big way and soon.
But I’m here to help, DC.
See, I’m pretty knowledgeable about the DCU. For over five years I wrote a column where I answered readers questions about all aspects of the DCU. And while that column is no more, that knowledge is still floating around in that noggin of mine.
And so to show them how easy it is, I’m going to pick two properties randomly and come up with a television pitch involving them.
It won’t be that hard. I’m got the loose-leaf edition of Who’s Who in the DCU, so I’m just going to randomly insert my finger in the three binders and pitch away. And I’ll offer up some pics as evidence.
Ok, now my first binder is categorized by heroes, heroic teams and whatnot. Let’s go.
First pitch: The Ray.
This is perfect because it could so easily fill the void left by Smallville and all you really need to do is sort of slightly tweak the origin story as it is.
Basically you’ve got Ray Terrill narrating the over a slideshow of his youth. You see him as a kid being home schooled in a windowless room. You see him being bundled up head to toe on the rare occasions that he does actually leave the house. You can hear in Ray’s voice that he sort of resents his “father.” Ray’s one joy is comic books.
Slide show ends and we see the father on his deathbed. If you want extra tragedy you can have a heart attack after he and Ray butt heads over something trivial. At his “father’s” funeral, Ray’s the only one in attendance except for someone lingering afar. Ray become emotional and removes the hood he’s wearing to protect him from the sun and his powers kick in. The stranger rushes to aide Ray with this new sensation and gets Ray to shelter.
Ray and the stranger talk and facts are revealed a) his father wasn’t his real father b) he’s got gifts and c) people will be after him if they find out that he’s alive.
(For the sake of the show, maybe Ray’s the product of government testing or a mad scientist’s experiments. At least that’s what we’re told in the pilot.)
The stranger helps train Ray a bit, before his words come true; someone does come for Ray. The stranger sacrifices himself so Ray can get away. Before he dies he put Ray on the path for answers. And Ray sets off to find himself, answers and try to stay one step ahead of his pursuers.
It’s like Smallville meets Incredible Hulk with a pinch of Greatest American Hero.
Next up is my villain centric binder.
Second pitch: Hawk & Dove (Sudden Death)
For Hawk & Dove again, I see a show dealing with youth. And I’d again sort of tweak the set up a bit.
For my Hawk & Dove, it’d be set in D.C. and would feature Hank Hall and Don Granger. Hank is the typical high school jock while Don is pretty much your typical high school geek. They’re stuck together as lab partners in Chemistry because the teacher has seen Hank bully Don and figures that maybe putting them together will help them work things out. But after school while doing some make up experiments in the lab Hank’s goofing around causes a fire, trapping them in the lab. They scream out for help and a mysterious voice offers them aide and the abilities of Hawk & Dove. They accept.
But they quickly learn that their powers don’t work independently of each other, meaning they can only transform when in close proximity. Thus Don becomes the videographer for the wrestling team and Hank’s got to find a reason to join Chess club. They also end up on double dates and whatnot.
They soon learn that they’re trouble magnets. Unknown to them, initially, there are mysterious forces (Lords of Order and Lords of Chaos) that are continually testing them. Also that mysterious voice occasionally pops up with a mission for them.
Fortunately they’ve got Barter who runs the local comic shop and is always there to offer up some cryptic advice and answers.
And there you have it. It’s like The Odd Couple meets Reaper with a pinch of early Smallville.
I did that, for free, off the top of my head. If I gave it more thought, I could come up with supporting characters, character arcs for a couple seasons and more.
I’m sure that DCE has someone working who just sits around and figures out to turn comic properties into television shows and movies. I bet it’s a stressful gig that’s full of research.
But if they don’t have that position, I’d like to see it created and find out where I can apply. I’m serious, those were just what I came up with while writing this column, I’ve actually got more developed pitches about properties I actually care about. I’ve even done this sort of thing before.
Seriously, DC, hit me up.
Tags: DC, DC Comics, Smallville, The Ray, Thor, Wednesday Comments, Wonder Woman