What is up, kemosabes? Your admirable and most desirable host with the most is back for another slammajamma edition of The Stomping Ground.
Hold up.
Did I really use “slammajamma”?
Ahem.
Anywho, Mike Gojira here. This week I thought I’d do something a little different and just list 100 random thoughts that pop into my head about the WWE, TNA (I mean “Impact Wrestling”), ROH, and the IWC in general. Before I get into that, though, I want to bring up my thoughts on Over The Limit.
Last week I wrote a preview column with my thoughts on how the PPV would turn out. I honestly have to say that although many members of the IWC thought the show was bland and predictable, I enjoyed both main events. The beating Cena took was ridiculous, and I chuckled when the ‘E brought out the tape recorder for the false finish. I would have preferred The Miz winning using a hostage of some sort, but I guess the feud had to end at some point. As for Christian and Orton, I thought it was a great and intense contest. I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought the Spear would end Orton’s reign. I’m also glad that Cole/Lawler was short and to the point; this was the only time throughout the feud that the company did something right.
The End of an Era
We are all saddened by the death of the one and only “Macho Man” Randy Savage. I think I speak for everyone when I say that Savage was truly The Rock of his era: great on the mic, a sensational showman, and a great in-ring presence. Every time I watch his match with the Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania, tears well up in my eyes when he reunites with Elizabeth. Sure, it was staged, but very few moments in wrestling could get me as emotionally involved as that did. I can’t bring myself to watch that match right now for obvious reasons, but rest assured that one day soon I will pull out the Macho Man DVD set and enjoy it once again, perhaps to give the whole situation a happy ending in my mind. Savage was never someone I considered as one of my favorites, but there is no denying the respect he earned over the years as he made the natural progression from Intercontinental Champion to WWE Champion to the Macho King and beyond.
There will truly never be another “Macho Man” Randy Savage; the Cream of the Crop, indeed.
Rest in peace, Mr. Poffo.
100 Random Thoughts
Now it’s time for my random 100 thoughts (deep breath). Hold on tight!
1. Anybody else remember a time in the mid90s when chair shots outside the ring did NOT result in a DQ?
2. Watching WWE Ground Zero on Classics on Demand. I miss Max Mini and his 83-pound antics.
3. I felt rather at peace when Cole and Lawler buried the hatchet. Hopefully things stay this way. Hopefully.
4. Oooooooooohhhhhhhh YEAH! Snap into a Slim Jim!
5. John Cena is the Hulk Hogan of his era…except Hogan didn’t have any haters in his prime.
6. Booker T is hilarious on commentary. He just cannot use cliches correctly.
7. Drew McIntyre is ridiculously underutilized.
8. Dolph Ziggler is ridiculously underutilized.
9. Rhett Davis’s brain is ridiculously underutilized.
10. Put CM Punk back on commentary if he’s not going to be used correctly.
11. I called the Ezekiel Jackson/Wade Barrett finish from Over The Limit. Pay me.
12. Thank God somebody is using the Torture Rack again. I missed that submission.
13. Blair Douglas has surpassed Andrew Wheeler as most entertaining recapper on Inside Pulse.
14. TNA, whether they change their name or not, still sucks as a company. My school is run better than TNA.
15. Yes, I am admitting that my school sucks ass.
16. I’m only on Number 16 and already I’m tired.
17. Wrestlemania XXVII was the first Wrestlemania I saw live on TV that made me wish for Wrestlemania IX.
18. Alex Riley’s explosive actions against The Miz won’t lead to a feud. He’s off to Smackdown as a face.
19. Kharma’s emotional breakdown was rather…odd. I totally expected her to dismantle the 8 Divas.
20. I really miss the Monday Night Wars.
21. Wrestlers who died and could have been much bigger stars if used correctly:
22. Curt Hennig
23. Brian Pillman
24. Eddie Guerrero
25. Owen Hart
26. British Bulldog
27. Chris Benoit
28. Yeah, that’s right: I said the dreaded Benoit name. Sue me.
29. Chris Jericho, we need you back sooner rather than later.
30. Good to know that ROH is using the World’s Greatest Tag Team as they were meant to be utilized.
31. Chair shots in special stipulation matches are less effective than in regular matches.
32. I still get angry when I think about the New Age Outlaws winning the Tag Team Championship from LOD.
33. I was never a fan of D-Generation X in their heyday. Sorry, but I was a mark through and through and always thought of them as heels. When they finally turned 100 % face, Triple H left them for the Corporation.
34. I didn’t think Chyna could ever look worse. And then she joined TNA.
35. I’m actually enjoying Tough Enough this year. I was rooting for Martin and Rima but obviously those hopes were dashed. Here’s to seeing them in the WWE in the future.
36. Please give Daniel Bryan a legitimate feud. He is the Evan Bourne of Smackdown now.
37. Please give Evan Bourne a legitimate feud. He is the Daniel Bryan of Raw now.
38. If Big Show is on Raw and injured, but Kane is on Smackdown, how can he feud with del Rio?
39. Then again, Alex Riley was on Raw for a full month after he was drafted, sooooo……..
40. The commercial for Capitol Punishment (think Coor’s Light press conference edits) was weak.
41. Was one of the “reporters” the hot chick from the Cellino and Barnes Law Office commercials?
42. I was watching The Other Guys on TV the other day and saw Billy Gunn in the NBA game scene behind Ferrell and Walberg. How did I miss that the first time around?
43. Scott Hall is one drink away from being “future endeavored” six feet under. What a shame.
44. What happened to using Kevin Nash as a nostalgia act? Did he tear his groin waking up the morning after the Royal Rumble?
45. Wrestlers who have no business being in a ring anymore:
46. Ric Flair
47. Hulk Hogan
48. Sting
49. Ken Anderson
50. Ken Anderson
51. Ken Anderson
52. Jeff Hardy
53. Ken Anderson
54. Pulse Columnists who have no business using alliteration:
55. Jonah Kue
56. Pulse Columnists who have no business writing 100 Random Thoughts:
57. Mike Gojira
58. I apologize for the lame humor I’ve employed. The responsible parties have been sacked.
59. Where the hell did Sebastian Howard go? He went from illiterate troll to respectful fan and just disappeared.
60. Am I the only one who knew all along that The Fuj (of That Being Said fame) was simply baiting Douglas into responding to his hysterical rants?
61. R-Truth is HIGHlarious on the mic. It seems like Vince just said, “Go out there and say some crazy ghetto shit.” Color me impressed.
62. Bret Hart: Please. Stop. Wearing. Jorts. Get your hair dyed, for Christ’s sake.
63. To all the idiots who believed the world would end Saturday: I know of a bridge for sale. Interested?
64. Randy Savage died for our sins to prevent the Rapture.
65. I miss going to see ROH live in small arenas. Glazer, you’ve gotta hook us up again!
66. Congrats to Rhett Davis for graduating. Maybe now you and I can chat on the same level.
67. My students had NO IDEA who the Macho Man was. God, I feel old.
68. My hatred for Triple H over the years has died down to the point that I actually miss seeing him on TV (did I say that out loud? Yikes!).
69. Giggle. 69.
70. Unrelated topic: why are all my TV shows being cancelled? Human Target, Lie to Me…..thank God that Fringe is still around.
71. WCW is sorely missed. I’m not counting TNA as a suitable substitute.
72. Looks like I’m not the only one concerned around here about the Divas. Kelly Floyd has said her piece here and newcomer Patrick Spohr shares his thoughts here.
73. Jeez. This list is more long-winded than a Michael Cole promo.
74. Hulk Hogan + Vince Russo + Eric Bischoff = WCW’s demise. Why is Dixie Carter not getting this?
75. The WWE, while no TNA by any means, is starting to show signs of no clear direction for the near future.
76. I don’t understand why Ted DiBiase is following around Cody Rhodes. Hopefully this leads to a feud between the two and DiBiase can finally come out of his shell.
77. Randy Orton’s mutton chops are not working for me.
78. If Christian turns heel, then who the hell will the other heels feud with on Smackdown? Orton can’t take them all on by himself and Sin Cara’s not ready yet.
79. I’m officially being moved to Thursday mornings now. Hooray!
80. I miss evil Doink the Clown.
81. El Generico is the greatest tongue-in-cheek wrestling name EVAH.
82. Bring back King of the Ring, but this time make it RELEVANT. It was wasted on Sheamus.
83. Survivor Series needs to return to its former glory: all Elimination matches!
84. I love being able to comment on wrestling matches with my friends; we act like we know everything about the business even though we’ve never officially been a part of it.
85. Watching Predator 2. Gary Busey needs to do something in the wrestling business. SOMETHING.
86. I feel like the true superstars of TNA are trapped in limbo. On one hand, they’re dealing with the gluttonous, aging pigs who run the show; on the other, if they go to the WWE, they’ll probably be misused.
87. Send The Miz to Smackdown so he can feud with Orton. They may have battled before, but I never really felt their animosity for each other was truly fleshed out.
88. Almost done. Sheesh!
89. Remember when title belts were meaningful and an honor to obtain? No? Neither does the WWE.
90. I haven’t been interested in the Divas in a looooong time, but Kharma is truly adding some depth to the TNA (and you know EXACTLY what TNA I’m talking about).
91. Scratch that last point. Evidently Kharma is going away for 9 months (speculation is that she’s pregnant). I don’t see how this DOESN’T kill her momentum. She clearly can’t get involved in matches if this is the case and how will the WWE explain her disappearance? The topic on all the Divas’ minds was this brute of a woman destroying them…all of a sudden that’s no longer a concern?
92. Surprise, surprise! Tiffany and Drew McIntyre are getting a divorce.
93. BatisTwo……I mean, Mason Ryan, is impressive, but why give Otunga and McGillicutty the belts instead of Ryan and Punk?
94. Team up Evan Bourne and Daniel Bryan. NOW.
95. Zack Ryder will never get a decent push. I don’t know why, and I don’t agree with it.
96. Just bring JR back as a full-time commentator. Either that, or put Striker behind the booth.
97. You know what scares me? The thought of Mark Henry, World Heavyweight Champion.
98. I’ve got exactly one day before my girlfriend’s birthday surprise. I’d better not watch TNA tonight or I’ll get depressed and screw things up on Friday!
99. When will TNA learn that, while taping shows in advance is cheaper, it also kills ratings when people can read spoilers a month before it airs?
100. Holy shit. I did it! I reached 100 thoughts!
Phew. That was ridiculous. I’m never doing THAT again.
Cheap Plugs
Matt Harrak is back with fond memories of the career of Edge.
Joel Leonard shares his thoughts on Over The Limit and its aftermath.
Although Jonah Kue is hung up on his annoying alliteration gimmick, I have to admit that his ReKall Autotune videos are hilarious. Check it out this week in his latest column.
Chris Sanders throws in his two cents on Over The Limit as well. See? I preview the PPV last week (the only one to do so) and now EVERYBODY jumps on the bandwagon! (And it has nothing to do with the fact that the PPV happened on Sunday. Nothing at all.)
I would post a link to Rhett Davis’s latest, but there was an error with his column at the time I typed this up. I’m sure it’s fixed by now, though. Once again, congrats on graduating, Rhett.
That’s all for this week. Look for me on Thursdays from now on.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
